Not anymore

Once I was done cleaning the alpha's office, I went back to the dining hall to pack the plates used for breakfast, I bumped into a hard chest and fell on my butt, hissing out in pain from how much it hurt.

"Watch where you are going, can't you see us coming?" Damien snapped, kicking me to the side as he walked past with his heavily pregnant chosen mate hanging on his arm.

"I'm sorry Alpha Damien" I apologized keeping my head bowed in submission.

"Are you blind or dumb? Did you not see my pregnant mate coming? Are you trying to remove her baby? you evil witch!" he growled landing a slap on my face in anger

"I'm sorry Alpha Damien, it would never happen again." I choked out feeling a pang in my chest as my wolf howled in pain at being treated so badly by our mate.

"Look at you, so useless! It was good my mate rejected you and picked me instead, you would have made history as the worst Luna of all time" Caroline snarled her legs hitting my broken ribs

"Sweetheart, you don't have to stress yourself over a loser like her, I will take you to the doctor for your appointment" he urged as he pulled her along with him.

"You also promised to take me shopping today, did you forget?" Caroline whined and rested her head on his shoulder

"Of course, I could never forget such an important task. I will take you for your shopping after the meeting with the neighboring pack."

"No way! I can't wait till then it will be too late and sunny, I can't go out with our pup in such heated sun," she grumbled, pouting as she feigned hurt

"How about I get someone else to go with you? The meeting is important to me and the pack." Damien pleaded

"Of course not! You promised me, is some meeting more important than myself and your pup?" Caroline whined her voice breaking at the end making it seem she was about to cry.

I watched as they flaunted their relationship in my face, walking extremely slowly to make sure that I could see their display. I heard him whisper something to her and she giggled while sending me a gloating look, my head hung low in shame and pain at the closeness between them.

I had stopped wishing it was me a long time ago, but I still can't stop the ache and loneliness I feel whenever I see the two together.

It was supposed to be me, hanging on his arm, carrying his pup, but here I am reduced to a sorry state. Reduced to a fate worse than an omega's

The sobs I had just managed to control burst out from my lips as I changed my direction, running into my rat and insect-infested room. My haven. As I ran, my broken ribs and knees ached in pain from the pressure I placed on them. My chest hurt from the pain of the semi-broken bond.

I could never bring myself to break it off completely, I could never bring myself to say the rejection words and get over with it.

Even after so many lonely days and months of watching him be with another woman of seeing him care for her like he should care for me I still loved him.

It was stupid of me I know, but I hope someday I could stand by his side as his mate and Luna. That I could have my sweet caring mate back.

But not anymore, not after I saw the letter, not after the mating mark that now appeared on his neck.

I could never have him back. He is no longer mine.

They were fully mated and I'm the only one holding up to a hope that would eventually turn into despair.

At the cost of my life, I would never have the two-pack merge to become one under Damien's reign!

As I neared my room, I felt his presence close by, his strong dominating aura, even with my wolf in deep slumber, I could still feel his dominating aura and I could smell the anger radiating off of him, making me shiver in apprehension.

' Why would the alpha come to this place now? '

I slowed my pace down trying as much as possible to avoid him if he was just passing by.

Encountering him twice a day never brings a good memory.

My heart leaped to my throat as I realized he was waiting in my room.

I don't want to get beaten today. I contemplated turning back to the direction I was coming from but it was too late, as he already felt my presence

Curse Alpha senses!

"How long will you keep me waiting, you goddamn slut!" he barked out, flinging the door to my room open as he stepped out with an iron rod in hand.

My body trembled as memories of my past beatings resurfaced. I kept on walking, bracing myself for the misery I was about to receive.

I might as well die and leave all the suffering behind, but that will be too selfish of me.

A lot of lives depend on me, the innocent pups and women who wouldn't be able to fight back.

My parents would miss me, my best friend and only friend would miss me.

They would be devastated by my death. It would especially break my mum if she knew I committed the unthinkable.

The first hit landed heavily on my back. I groaned out in pain, not giving him the satisfaction of hearing me scream.

He took a strange pleasure in seeing me suffer. I saw the satisfaction in his eyes whenever I cried out in pain, and on some occasions I even noticed him grow aroused by it. It was a sick and twisted pleasure that he took from my pain. It made me wonder if he was a psychopath.

I'm glad he never acted on it.

If he had, I don't know what would have become of me.

"Repeat the rules and tell me thank you after every hit!" he ordered and I complied

He landed the rod on places that would be hidden from the eyes of others, on parts of my body that would be covered by my clothes. He didn't want anyone to know what he was doing to me. It was like a sick game to him, a secret that he kept hidden from the world. He wanted to inflict pain and suffering on me, but he also wanted to keep it hidden from view.

From my parents.