A few months later, I’d left, too.
Just as I began to unzip that memory while Rose was telling me what their plans were for tonight, I heard a sound.
It was one I couldn’t ignore.
One I’d been tuned in to for years.
It was the sound of someone who needed help.
My feet stopped, and I scanned the area in front of me and on both sides until I found the source. There were two men just steps inside the mouth of the alley up ahead. One was sitting on the ground, hunched forward. The other was hovering over him, trying to evoke a response.
It took less than a second to assess the situation.
My heart began to race, my hands trembling to the point where I almost dropped the phone.
The man kneeling was shaking the unconscious guy’s shoulders.
There was still no reaction from him.
My experience told me he would only get worse without a medical intervention.
He needed an EMT, and then he needed to be brought to the hospital.
It was a process I was quite familiar with.
But, even if I wanted to help him, I didn’t know if I could.
God, I needed to pull myself together.
I needed to slow down my breathing and stop my body from quivering.
To start, I blinked.
Hard.
And I saw that I was standing in the center of the sidewalk.
Frozen.
There were people moving by me in both directions.
I still had the phone pressed against my ear, and Rose was blabbing away.
I shook my head. I stared at the two men, and I forced myself to focus on what I needed to do.
“… and we’ll order some sushi—”
“Rose, I have to go,” I said, cutting her off.
I disconnected the call and filled my lungs with as much air as they could hold. Then, I willed my body to loosen enough that I could rush over to the entrance of the alley. When I got there, I said, “Do you need help?”
The guy who was kneeling quickly looked up at me. “Are you a doctor?”
There wasn’t time to tell him about all the training I’d had. Instead, I slid in next to them and lowered myself until I was at their eye-level. “I’m someone who can help. What’s his name?”
“Joe Marino.”
I pressed my fingers against the side of Joe’s wrist. “Joe?” I used a sharp, stern voice. “Joe, can you open your eyes and look at me?” His pulse was extremely slow. “What has he taken?”
“Just a lot of booze.”
I pushed Joe’s upper body until he was no longer slumped forward, and his back was resting against the building. Now that his head was lifted, I evaluated him again. His lips were beginning to turn blue. His cheeks were flushed, telling me his temperature was rising. I lifted his eyelids to see how his pupils would react to the flashlight on my phone. They were dilated.
“Are you sure that’s all he’s taken?” I asked.
Joe’s jaw slacked, and I heard crackling coming from the back of his throat.
“His wife served him with divorce papers this morning. I guess it’s possible he could have popped something before I met him at the bar. But, shit, I don’t know.”
I turned off the flashlight and brought up the keypad on my phone. “Who are you?”
“Smith Reid, his best friend.”
“When was the last time you saw him conscious?”
I kept my eyes on Joe while Smith said, “Just a minute ago. We were in the bar, and I could tell it was time for him to go home. We made it through the door, and he fell on me. I carried him over here to check him out and see what the hell was going on. You showed up a few seconds later.”
Without responding to Smith, I hit nine, one, one on my phone. Once the call was answered, I said, “I’m dispatcher eight, four, nine, nine, three, seven for Boston. I’m in an alleyway between Beacon and Fairfield Street with an unresponsive male, approximately thirty years of age, experiencing a slowed heart rate, dilated pupils, cyanosis, and a restricted airway. From my observation, he’s showing visible signs of an overdose. Please send an EMT.”
“I have an ambulance in route,” the dispatcher replied. “ETA is three minutes. What’s the male’s name?”
“Joe Marino,” I said into the phone. “He’s here with his best friend, Smith Reid. There’s full access to the alley, nothing blocking the entrance. Tell the paramedics to bring a stretcher.”
“I’ll let them know right now,” she said. “Will you be staying with Smith and Joe until the paramedics arrive?”
“Yes.”
“Then, you’re free to end the call.”
As soon as I slipped the phone into my bag, my eyes connected with Smith’s. “Can you hold up his chin? If there’s any liquid in his airway, we have to make sure he doesn’t choke on it.”
Smith moved closer to Joe’s side and positioned a hand at the base of his neck with another at the back of his head. “How long until they arrive?”
“Around two minutes.”
“Is he going to be all right?”
In training, I’d been taught to never answer questions like that. So, I kept my attention on Joe and said, “I really don’t know.”
With my hand now on his forehead, it felt warmer, and his skin was turning even clammier.
There was nothing I could do to treat him. I didn’t have any medical equipment in my purse, no Narcan or fluids.
“Do you really think he’s overdosing?”
There was so much concern in his voice. As I quickly glanced at him, there was just as much in his face.
“With no way to test him, I can’t confirm what’s happening inside his body. The only things I can confirm are his symptoms.”
“And they’re showing you that he’s …” His voice trailed off, and he lifted his hand from Joe’s neck and ran it through his hair. “Jesus fucking Christ, Joe. Open your eyes and look at me, buddy.” When Joe didn’t respond, Smith put his hand on his friend’s chest and shook it. “Open your goddamn eyes. I know you can hear me right now.”I didn’t stop him because I didn’t think movement would hurt Joe’s condition.“What the fuck did you take?” He got closer to Joe’s face. “You didn’t have to do this. We would have figured it out. I would have helped you; you know that.”Just as Joe’s pulse slowed a little more, I heard the sound of the siren. By how loud it was, it couldn’t have been more than a few blocks away.“They’re almost here,” I said to Smith.My fingers stayed on Joe’s wrist, constantly monitoring his heart rate in case it lowered to where I needed to give him CPR. My eyes were glued to him, taking in the coloring of his skin, the movement in his face, every rise of his chest. An
EightAlixPresent DayWithin thirteen minutes of entering my townhouse, I was in bed. Naked. The blanket pulled up to my neck, a bottle of wine in my hand that I rested on top of the mattress.HGTV was playing on the television.Muted.Both bedside table lamps were on.In the last several seconds, I’d played and processed my encounter with Smith and Joe.I’d celebrated the moment internally.It was another milestone after all.And it had been a big one.Now, it was time to call Rose, whose panicked texts I still hadn’t replied to.I opened my call log, found her name, and pressed it.“Alix, are you okay?”I shouldn’t have waited so long to call.I should have phoned her when I’d gotten inside my townhouse.But I couldn’t have.My return couldn’t have gone in that order.I’d had to unlock the door first, then drop the keys and my bag, grab the wine, get undressed, and climb into bed.“Yes,” I promised. “I’m fine.”She sighed, and I could tell how relieved she was. “What the hell happe
She needed to understand something, and because I was more forward than her, I said, “Listen to me, Alix. You can always say no to me.”“I’m not sure I can.”As I looked into her eyes, the truth behind that statement revealed itself to me.She felt the same way I did.I didn’t know what to call it.I couldn’t even describe it.But it was something.I’d known that from the moment I stood next to her at the restaurant.Even more so when I wrote my number on her hand.And, now, the feeling was even more intense than ever.Enough that I needed to start walking or my fucking hands were going to reach for her.I couldn’t let that happen yet.“Follow me.” My hand went to her shoulder, moving her closer, before I led her toward State Street.Just as I took a step, I heard, “Wait.”I glanced at my side, our eyes locking.“I need to know something first.”“What?”“Is she still in the picture?”She.The girl I had been with that night.It was a fair question.“She’s long gone.” My lids narrowed
She swallowed the fries. “Same—except I’m an only child, neither of my parents are pilots, and I grew up in southern Maine.”“Portland?”“Falmouth.”“Even nicer,” I said. I knew the area well, as I’d flown into Portland many times and checked out the surrounding cities. “There’s a corner store in Falmouth. I can’t remember the name, but it has the best whoopie pies I’ve ever tasted.”“Nina’s Variety, and you’re right; they do.”Her lips parted as she lifted the gyro and took a bite.A mouthful so big, it made me proud of her.Alix was cool.Much more than just a pretty face.This girl had substance.She had a story.It was one I wanted to hear.And one I wanted to be a part of.“I want to do this again,” I said.“Me, too.”Once I got up, I reached down to help her stand. “You ready for dessert?”She showed me her sandwich, which she’d only eaten half of. “I don’t think I can fit in another bite.”“Find the room.” I tossed her gyro into a trash bin along with the rest of mine and the e
The first was a business account with a photo of him dressed in a suit. I clicked on the profile and learned he was a divorce attorney with a law firm in Downtown Crossing.I knew the location well.Dylan’s office was a few buildings over.I backed out and clicked on the second listing, which was Smith’s personal profile. Even though I was a little hazy on what he and Joe looked like, I didn’t remember Smith being so handsome.But he was and extremely easy to stare at.His features were sharp and rich.His smile was inviting.He had a warmth to him where Dylan was so cold.I focused on the pictures, and what I learned within the first several rows were that Smith was active and outdoorsy.He biked.Ran.And he ate.There were photos of food from restaurants all over the city.The more I continued to explore, I saw shots that he’d taken from different spots around the world.Japan.Dubai.Alaska.Peru.I scrolled through more.Two years back.Three.Smith’s life was fascinating.He did
I’d kept my hands off of her while she was eating the gyro and fries.But I didn’t want to wait any longer.Once she swallowed the mouthful, I said, “Alix …”I needed her eyes on me to see the way she would look at me, how she would respond to the sound of my voice.That would determine if I could reach for her right now or if I’d have to wait.Her stare slowly lifted and landed on mine.Shyness was peeking through her expression.Still, every sign was there—the desire in her glare, the increased breathing, the way her tongue was swiping across her lips. It wasn’t frosting she was licking off because there wasn’t any there.I dropped the small box of cake on the ground.She didn’t watch it fall, but when she heard the sound, I saw the hunger in her grow.I took a step.She did, too, in the opposite direction at the same time she dropped her cake.She said nothing as I continued to move toward her, backing her up to the side of the building until her body was pressed against it.As I s
“No, we don’t,” I replied, trying to stop her before she took this any further.“We can’t keep avoiding this subject.”We had to—until I was able to tell her about Dylan coming home.Until I could explain where things stood.But I wasn’t ready for that conversation yet.“I just don’t want to discuss him tonight.”She nodded, telling me she understood and that she wouldn’t push me to chat about him tonight. Then, she glanced down at her menu. When she finally looked back up, there was a huge smile on her face. “Want to skip dinner and go straight to dessert?”“More than anything.”She reached across the table and squeezed my hand. “That means we’re going to need another bottle of wine.”“Yesss ,” I agreed.She laughed.I did, too.This time felt even better.When I saw the brick row of townhouses, mine being on the very end, I hurried down the rest of the sidewalk and up the front steps.I unlocked the door.Once I was inside, my keys were placed in the bowl in the entryway, and I set
My eyes squinted.My chest pounded.“Please,” I begged. “Just say the words, and I’ll stay home tonight.”I clung my hand around the blanket, the other twisting the edge of the fluffy pillow. “Dylan …” I said so softly.There was movement on the bed.The air behind me suddenly turned to ice.“Dylan, no.”He couldn’t leave.At least not without saying something.But I heard his feet on the floor, and I knew that was exactly what he was doing.“Please, Dylan. Don’t go yet.”My body began to tense into a ball.“Come back,” I called.The bedroom door opened.Why did I tell him?Why was I so honest?Why didn’t I just keep my mouth shut?There was no reason I’d needed to tell him what I was doing with Smith.I could have kept it in.Lied.I wasn’t sure it would have even mattered.“Dylan—” I cried out, cutting myself off when the bedroom door closed behind him.He was gone.He hadn’t told me not to go.He wouldn’t.I hated that more than anything.I hated this feeling.I hated what we had b