She glanced up, our eyes finally connecting. I knew my expression looked as emotional as hers.“She took a year off and just recently went back to work. She wanted to stay in emergency services, so she transferred to the call center.”“That’s not easy either.” I scraped my fingers through my beard as I pictured her answering the phone. “She probably worries every day that she’ll get a call, and it will send her into a flashback, like thunder does.”“I’ve never thought about that,” Rose admitted. “But, my God, you’re probably right.”Jesus Christ.We both turned quiet again.There was nothing left to say.And I started to pace once more.I just wanted to help her.Heal her.Make her pain go away.But I couldn’t do a goddamn thing in this room besides walk back and forth across the fucking floor and wait for a doctor to come out and tell me if Alix was all right.Fifty-FourDylanI walked over to Alix’s hospital bed and sat on the very edge, surrounding her hand with mine. There was an
She would never make this decision.So, I would.“I want you to smile again. I want you to get back in that ambulance and do what you love because you don’t know when that choice is going to be taken away from you. I want you to live.”“You can’t go.”“If I keep holding on, you’re going to lose everything you have. I won’t let that happen. You’ve already lost enough.”She looked down at my hand, her thumb grazing over the back of my palm. “What if I forget?”“You won’t.”“How do you know that, Dylan? Because, right now, I can close my eyes and I can see the texture of your skin and I can hear the exact pitch of your voice and I can perfectly describe the scent of your cologne. It’s all so fresh in my mind. But what if those memories dull? What if I need your laughter to get me through the saddest day, and I can’t hear it anymore? What if I need you to hold my hand, and I can’t remember what your fingers looked like?”I reached up and touched the side of her head. “All of that is right
Each syllable stabbed my chest.They caused my breathing to become more labored.She put both hands around mine. “I realized that once I was inside your house.”“I’m sorry, Rose. I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you.”“I know, babe.”Gradually, my gaze shifted to Smith. It hurt just as much to say to him, “I couldn’t let you see the truth.” And, before either of them could interject, I added, “I know I need help. I can’t do this anymore. It’s controlling my life, and it’s far bigger than me.”I’d known that for a while.I just wasn’t ready.Looking at their faces, waking up in the hospital, had changed that.Smith had changed that, too.I knew I couldn’t give him all of me unless I let Dylan go.“Oh, thank God,” Rose groaned with relief. “You have no idea how badly I wanted to hear you say that.”Never once had she ever kept her feelings from me.I didn’t want her to start now.“I should have gotten help when I first lost him,” I told them.“It’s okay,” Rose said. “I can understand why it t
Because that girl was Boston Strong.She had a therapist and was now four months deep into treating her PTSD.With the help of her doctor, one of the first big decisions she’d made was to sell the townhouse she’d shared with Dylan. Her name was on the deed, so it was hers to do whatever she wanted with it. She had gotten a full-price offer within two days.She’d quickly found a place to rent that was just a few streets over from here. It was a one-bedroom apartment, a fourth of the size of her townhouse.It was perfect for her.One day, she’d live with me, but it wasn’t the right time for that.She was still getting stronger.She was still learning who she really was.And I couldn’t be more in love with the person she was becoming.“Hi,” she said as she joined me in the living room, linking her hand with mine.“Are you all right?”She nodded. “It hurts to be back here, but I’m okay.” She glanced up at the ceiling and briefly around the room. “I’m glad to be moving on.”“I don’t know a
OneAlixPresent Day“Nine-one-one, what’s your emergency?” I said into the headset as I stared at the computer screen.While I waited for a response, I sucked in a deep breath and rested my fingers on the keyboard, my thumb gently tapping the space bar but not hard enough to actually press it down. My body tensed. The tips of my toes ground into the bottom of my shoes.It was a ritual.One I repeated every time I answered a call.“I’m at the Public Garden,” the woman said. “And a man just fell off one of the benches. He’s on the ground, screaming. You can probably hear him in the background. It looks like he hurt his arm or something.”Once I processed her description, my chest loosened.The air I’d been holding in slowly made its way through my lips.The tapping stopped.“What’s your name?” I asked.“Why do you need that?”“It’s for our records and also so I know what to call you.”“I’m not comfortable with giving you my last name, but my first name is Rachel.”“Rachel,” I repeated
Always.And, according to her, today was one.“To moments,” I repeated.She took a drink from her glass, and then she crossed her arms over the table and leaned in closer. “Tell me all about your day. I want to hear every detail.”I had known this question was coming. That was partly why I’d wanted to cancel. “I woke up, went for a run, and went to work, and now, I’m meeting you. There’s not much else to tell.”“Alix …”She didn’t say my name in a reprimanding way.She said it as though she were encouraging me to talk about it. Because Rose forever assumed I needed to get something off my chest.“Work was fine,” I said. “The entire shift was rather uneventful, honestly, and for the most part, it was a shockingly safe day in Boston.”Her face began to relax.I certainly hadn’t missed how tense it looked.“And it was a sunny day,” she said.I nodded. “I’m thankful for that.” I took another sip, hoping I’d satisfied her enough that she would change the topic.“I have news.”Relieved that
I got up from the table and moved around to her chair. I put my hand on her shoulder and said, “Stay. Enjoy yourself. Eat your meal … and mine. If you want. It was nice meeting you …” I stopped and cleared my throat, trying to remember her name. It didn’t come to me, and I had nothing left to say, so I walked away.But I didn’t leave the restaurant.I went to Alix’s table, stood right at her side, and put my back toward my date. “Excuse me,” I said.Rose was already looking at me.Not Alix.I had to wait for her to slowly turn to me, her gaze gradually lifting until it reached my face. “Hi.”“I want to give you something.”She smiled out of nervousness. “Okay.”“Give me your hand.”“She’s not giving you anything until I know what this is about,” Rose said.The dynamics of their friendship were defined in that moment.So were their personalities.I glanced at Rose. “What I’m about to give her isn’t going to hurt her.”“I don’t know that.”I reached into my back pocket again, took out m
“I’ve missed you.”He was here.With me.That was the only thing I wanted.“I can’t stop thinking about you,” he added.That made me shiver.Even harder.I felt movement, and the blanket shifted. Then, suddenly, he was on top of me.His smell.His touch.His presence.I loved all of it.While I stayed on my stomach, his mouth traveled down my back, peppering my spine with kisses. It forced my lips to spread almost as wide as my legs.“You’re so fucking beautiful, Alix.”Oh God.My arm shot out from under the pillow, and it feathered down the front of me until two of my fingertips were pressed against my clit. “I want you,” I moaned.My hips shifted higher to give him more access, his tip easily finding my wetness.He growled in my ear, and then I heard, “You’re going to get all of me.”I swallowed.And then I gasped as his long thickness thrust deep inside me.It was perfection.So was the sensation that consumed my entire body, the tingles that spread to each of my limbs.Emotion bur