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WHEN ASHES FALL 14
My eyes squinted.My chest pounded.“Please,” I begged. “Just say the words, and I’ll stay home tonight.”I clung my hand around the blanket, the other twisting the edge of the fluffy pillow. “Dylan …” I said so softly.There was movement on the bed.The air behind me suddenly turned to ice.“Dylan, no.”He couldn’t leave.At least not without saying something.But I heard his feet on the floor, and I knew that was exactly what he was doing.“Please, Dylan. Don’t go yet.”My body began to tense into a ball.“Come back,” I called.The bedroom door opened.Why did I tell him?Why was I so honest?Why didn’t I just keep my mouth shut?There was no reason I’d needed to tell him what I was doing with Smith.I could have kept it in.Lied.I wasn’t sure it would have even mattered.“Dylan—” I cried out, cutting myself off when the bedroom door closed behind him.He was gone.He hadn’t told me not to go.He wouldn’t.I hated that more than anything.I hated this feeling.I hated what we had b
WHEN ASHES FALL 15
That wasn’t true anymore.I loosened the light scarf from my neck and unbuttoned my jacket as I walked into the restaurant. “Hi,” I said to the hostess as I reached the desk she was standing at. “Reservations for Smith Reid.”She glanced at her tablet. “Yes, I see it right here. Looks like the other member of your party has already arrived.” She looked up. “Please follow me.”I stayed behind her as she led me into the main dining room.I wasn’t more than a few steps in when I saw Smith.He was sitting at a table against the window on the other side of the room, and he was typing something into his phone.As though he could sense my arrival, he gazed up.Our eyes locked.I could feel his stare.It hit my face first.My chest.My legs.It wasn’t a feeling I was used to.Not unless it came from Dylan.My God.As I closed the gap between us, still quite a distance away, I compared Smith to the pictures I’d looked at of him online and the small details I remembered from the night we’d met.
WHEN ASHES FALL 16
The look on his face told me it had truly been a guess.I was relieved to hear that he hadn’t looked me up.“Yes,” I said. “You’re right.”As he laughed, he gripped the edge of the table with both hands, and his head tilted back.It was the most laid-back sound.I wondered if I’d ever laugh that way again.“My sister, Star, goes there,” he told me. “I know the campus well.”“She’s getting her master’s?”He shook his head. “Bachelor’s.”She was much younger than him.From my estimate, at least by ten years, which put Smith somewhere in his early thirties.The same age as Dylan.“So, you went to school in the Back Bay, and you work in the city. What do you do for fun, Alix?”I met my best friend for happy hour several times a week.I spent time with Dylan whenever he came home.I dreamed about waking up to a sunny day.“You’re going to laugh,” I said.This was a question I was comfortable with.He put his elbows on the table. “I won’t.”“I’m from Maine. This small, quiet, quaint town in
WHEN ASHES FALL 17
I had gotten those answers within the first thirty days.During that time, the only nights we’d spent apart was when she was on for her twenty-four-hour shift, which she did twice a week.If we weren’t at our jobs, we were together.And then things began to move fast.There was no reason to slow them down.She wanted to go to sleep next to me, and I wanted to wake up next to her.There was only one small bit of turbulence.Alix hated to fly.And the size of the five-seater, single engine that I used for personal travel made her anxious as hell.It took a few weeks of talking to her about it, showing her the aircraft and where she’d be sitting, before she even started to warm up to the idea.Eventually, we went.I kept the first trip short. Twenty minutes. Just enough for her to get comfortable with the space, to feel the different shifts of wind and how they moved the plane, to get used to the view while she sat next to me in the cockpit.It was a lot to take in for someone who didn’t
WHEN ASHES FALL 18
I stared at the arrangement, trying to think of who would have sent them.I didn’t like any of the conclusions I had come up with.“Are you sure they’re mine?”I could tell the question surprised her.With a smile, she said, “Your name is on the card, so I think they’re for you.”I thanked her and took the vase, placing it next to my computer. My purse went in the bottom drawer, and I put on the headset.I didn’t open the envelope.I wasn’t ready.Instead, I sucked in a deep breath and rested my fingers on the keyboard, my thumb gently tapping the space bar but not hard enough to actually press it down. My body tensed. The tips of my toes ground into the bottom of my shoes.It was time.I hit the key that would connect the incoming call and said, “Nine-one-one, what’s your emergency?”“I’ve been in a car accident. I’m on the corner of Huntington Avenue and Cumberland Street. No one is hurt, but both cars are pretty banged up.”My chest loosened.Air slowly made its way through my lips
WHEN ASHES FALL 19
“That whole trip was amazing,” she said.I was quiet while I thought about that weekend—the incredible food and wine Dylan had arranged for us, the evenings we had spent talking until it was almost time to wake up for our hike.The laughter.“It was perfect,” I agreed. I shoved in another mouthful of chips and swallowed. “God, he’s so handsome.”“Best eyes I’ve ever seen.”I looked at her. “You’re so right about that.”“I remember when he locked eyes with me at the restaurant the night we first met him. There I was, trying to be all badass, stopping him from touching you. He gave me this stare as he handed me his wallet, and the whole time, I was thinking to myself, There’s nooo way Alix is going to be able to resist that man .”“I gave in quickly, didn’t I?”She laughed. “You did, you ho.”I smiled, shaking my head.She rested her chin on my shoulder and said nothing for several seconds. “I know it’s hard, having that chapter of your life over.”It wasn’t over.I just couldn’t tell h
WHEN ASHES FALL 20
She grinned when we pulled into the wooded driveway and turned her body toward me. “What is this place?”“It’s a house.”She bent her head to be able to see the top of it out of the window. “Why would you rent something so big for just the two of us?”It was just under ten thousand square feet and built into the base of the mountain with a full view of the south side of the lake. It was too big for a family of ten.“Because I wanted you to see how beautiful it looks from each window.”Her stare slowly shifted back to me. “But it’s the size of my old high school.”“It’s my place, Alix.”“What?” Her eyes widened. “You really own that?”I nodded. “I also have a condo in LA where my West Coast office is located.”She glanced from me to the house, repeating that pattern every few seconds. “Does someone usually live here?”She was processing this in stages.“No, the homes are available to us whenever we want to stay in them.” I reached across the seat and put my hand on her cheek. “We’re go
WHEN ASHES FALL 21
It was a home I shared with Dylan.It didn’t feel right, bringing Smith there.Smith: Ha!Me: Send me your address. I’ll see you at 11.Hours later, while I was sitting in the living room of my townhouse, I pulled up the photo I had posted earlier and checked who had liked and commented on it.Rose had left an emoji.I continued scrolling and saw Smith’s name.My heart started to pound.He had liked the picture.He had followed me, too.I clicked on his profile, my finger hovering over the button to follow him back.Right before I pressed it, my attention was dragged away when I heard a sound from the kitchen.I hoped it was Dylan coming home early.I waited.One second, two seconds.Nothing.Slowly, I glanced back at the screen, my finger still in the same spot.I wasn’t sure why I was even contemplating it.I hit Follow.Then, I immediately got up from the couch and went over to the ottoman to get my purse. Once I found my keys inside, I placed them in the bowl on the table in the e
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