38

This wasn’t a realization.

We knew exactly where things stood.

This wasn’t good-bye either.

Saying that would be impossible.

This was us admitting our relationship would never be more than what we had now.

And I truly believed that until I heard, “I wish I knew now what I hadn’t known then.”

My hand slapped over my mouth, stopping the sob from screaming out through my lips.

Tears were pouring so fast; it felt like my eyes were bleeding.

I didn’t want him to leave either.

But voicing that wouldn’t change anything.

And removing my hand from my face would just let out the cries I didn’t want Dylan to hear.

So, the only thing left to do was to say, “Dylan, I’m not going to make it up to bed tonight.”

“Do you want me to stay?”

I felt sick.

I was betraying both of them.

Dylan could smell Smith all over me.

And I was certain, at some point, Smith had known there was someone in my past whom I loved.

The throbbing in the back of my throat was becoming more intense, the longer I avoided the que