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WHEN ASHES FALL 38
This wasn’t a realization.We knew exactly where things stood.This wasn’t good-bye either.Saying that would be impossible.This was us admitting our relationship would never be more than what we had now.And I truly believed that until I heard, “I wish I knew now what I hadn’t known then.”My hand slapped over my mouth, stopping the sob from screaming out through my lips.Tears were pouring so fast; it felt like my eyes were bleeding.I didn’t want him to leave either.But voicing that wouldn’t change anything.And removing my hand from my face would just let out the cries I didn’t want Dylan to hear.So, the only thing left to do was to say, “Dylan, I’m not going to make it up to bed tonight.”“Do you want me to stay?”I felt sick.I was betraying both of them.Dylan could smell Smith all over me.And I was certain, at some point, Smith had known there was someone in my past whom I loved.The throbbing in the back of my throat was becoming more intense, the longer I avoided the que
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She relaxed, her face even lighting up when she answered, “Hockey, of course. I’m from Maine, so that should be a given.”“Good answer.”She took a drink of her beer. “My turn to ask something.” Her eyes narrowed, and I watched her think of a question. “Is chocolate your favorite kind of cake?”I took one of the peanuts, cracked it open, and emptied it into my mouth. “No, strawberry is.”“Really? I didn’t know anyone even liked that flavor.”“I do.” I ate another nut and washed it down with the spring ale. “So, that means, if you spend more time with me, you’re going to have to accept having strawberry in your life.”She laughed, and it was so beautiful—the sound, her expression, the redness that darkened her cheeks.“What would be your second choice?” she asked.“Lemon.”“Oh God, that’s the one I regret every time I buy it.” She was giggling harder. “I don’t know if I can finish this date now.”Her body was loosening even more.Every noise she made sounded lighter.This was a side I
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I turned to the bartender and said, “Any desserts?”“I can probably scrounge up some ice cream.”“We’re good,” I told him.I knew our food was waiting for us on the counter, but now that I was looking at Alix again, I couldn’t glance away.I needed to know something first.“Are you going home tonight, or are you going to come to my place?”She said nothing.She just looked at me while the emotion came back and played inside her eyes.Slowly, she seemed to pull herself out of it, and her hands went to my collar, fingers clenching to pull me closer.I smiled as her lips pressed against my ear.And, once I heard, “Yours,” my dick began to throb.Thirty-SevenAlixPresent Day“Do you want anything to drink?” Smith asked when we got back to his place.He walked over to the fridge while I stayed in front of the island, gripping the edge of the counter with both hands.The buzz that had started to come on at the bar was killed once I ate the greasy cheeseburger and fries.I didn’t want to dr
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I couldn’t justify what I was doing.And I wasn’t going to.He knew why I was here.And he knew why I couldn’t make things better between us.“I hope I see you when I get back home,” I told him.My hand shook as I held the phone to my ear.I realized what I had just said.And how badly I had meant it.“Good night, Dylan.”I ended the call and put the phone back in my pocket.I turned toward the sink again.I breathed, shoving the thoughts out of my head as I remembered who was waiting for me in the kitchen.When the smile returned to my face, I walked out of the bathroom.Thirty-EightSmithPresent DayAlix stood in the entryway of the kitchen, staring at me while I put a bite of strawberry cake into my mouth. I’d taken the slice off the counter, not even the least bit hungry, just to see if I could make her smile.That was all I wanted right now.Because, when we had been kissing just a few minutes ago, I’d lost her.I’d felt it the second it happened, and then she’d pulled away and
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When I let go, I didn’t waste any time, instantly reaching for her shirt. I took it off and knelt on the floor to remove her jeans and panties next. While I was down there, I looked up at her. “Jesus,” I groaned. “Your body is fucking perfect.”As she processed what I’d said, need pulsed across her face.The hunger in her eyes increased.I was sure she was only getting wetter.With her pussy so close to me, it was easy to check.I gripped her thighs and steered her toward me, pushing the point of my tongue in between her lips and slowly dragging it up. When I reached the top, I flicked her clit back and forth.“Smith,” she moaned, fisting my hair, rocking her hips forward.She tasted so good.I slid two of my fingers inside her, turning my wrist in a circle to grind through her wetness and give her the added friction she needed.“Oh my God,” she breathed.She was getting louder.She was constricting around my knuckles.She was close.Not wanting her to come yet, I pulled my tongue off
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I wanted Alix all to myself.And that was exactly what I’d gotten so far.We ate, we fucked, and we slept.It couldn’t be more perfect.But I could tell Alix was getting restless. She wanted to be outside. She needed to feel Maine, not just be inside of it.Since the snow had melted, we could go hiking.We hadn’t been to the top of Cadillac Mountain in months.It was time.The morning of our third day, I woke her at a little past three and asked her if she was feeling up to going hiking. She smiled so fucking big despite how early it was. And I saw the excitement on her face as she crawled out of bed. It only took her a few minutes to brush her teeth and get dressed.It took me a little longer.I had to make sure I had everything I needed.With us being out of practice, our climb wasn’t as polished as usual, and we reached the summit with only a few seconds to spare.I wrapped my arm around her and pulled her against me as we sat on a rock on the east side, facing Schoodic Peninsula,
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But I couldn’t keep avoiding it, especially since I’d been staring at his chest for what felt like a really long time.I slowly lifted my stare.And then our eyes connected.The deepest green gazed back at me.I wasn’t sure I had even noticed his eye color before.Now, it was all I saw.It was so different than Dylan’s blue.So was his facial hair.Dylan shaved every morning.Smith had at least four days of scruff.Dylan’s hair was perfect when he got up.Smith’s was ruffled in a way that looked like fingers had been pulling it.I guessed they had.Oh God.“Good morning,” I replied, bringing the blanket up to my chin.He was on his side, facing me.Watching.“You’re not a morning person, are you?”I thought about his question.I actually considered myself as one.But I certainly wasn’t right now.“Morning-ish,” I said from behind the blanket.“Does that mean you need coffee first?”I had no idea what that meant.But I knew I needed more than two seconds to process everything that was
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He didn’t move.Until he finally glanced at me. “You’re asking to see my storm.”I hadn’t thought of it that way.Or what that required of him.And what that meant about us.“Yes,” I said so softly.“I’ve never brought anyone there.”“Bring me.”I wasn’t pleading.I was making him a promise.“Why do you want to go there, Alix?”The bakery was an easy answer.But it wasn’t the real reason.“I want you to show me that part of you,” I answered. I moved the cake to the nightstand and rolled onto my side, so I could face him. “I really like you, Smith.”And I liked the way he treated me.How he looked at me.The way he cared for me.“You want us?” he asked.I could feel myself fitting in here.In his life.In his arms.“Yes,” I answered.He reached over and brushed a piece of hair off my face. “I’m going to take you to Roxbury.” Then, his hand cupped my cheek. “I hope, one day, you’ll show me your storm.”My heart began to throb in my chest.My throat ached.The guilt I’d expected to feel
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