"Have you spoken to him?"
"He doesn't really give me much of a choice." I say coincidentally locking my phone when I see him calling again.
"And he's still my fiancé." I don't have a choice but to answer his calls.
"Is it still the thing with his father?"
"No. Fuck his father. It's just that..."
He doesn't want kids.
"It's nothing."
I'm ashamed to tell her. It's embarrassing.
The topic about kids is one you have before you even start dating, not after you've gotten engaged. But Jake and I'
I take one last look at the love of my life as he makes his way out of my apartment to go see the love of HIS life. He waves me goodbye and blows me a kiss I happily catch then I smile at his smile. It makes my heart skip a beat and he knows it."Bye Nugget," he says then disappears into the night.It's been 10 years, 8 months, 65 days and counting. He says that I'm confused."You don't allow yourself to be loved," he always says to me, maybe he's right. But that's because my heart already belongs to him.I try not to talk about it a lot because I fear pushing him away. My biggest fear is not having him in my life. So I swallow my feelings just so he's more comfortable in the friendship.Tristan Brady is my best friend of many years. We met in high school when he'd asked me to tutor him.I wasn't always into him. In fact, for a while I couldn't stand him. He was a walking cliché and I'd called him out on it.He'd been shocked because no one had ever spoken to him like that before. He s
Mrs Brady is a sweetheart. She takes time to get to know people instead of just judging them by how they look. She's been like a mother to me for as long as I've known her and I feel indebted to her. I sometimes fear that her personality doesn't always allow her to see the bad because she's always looking for the good in people.So as we're all sitting and relishing in the savory meal she prepared, I see her conversing with Meghan. She touches her arm as they laugh and her smile lights up the room. She likes her. I was afraid of that.
I stare at my computer screen as the thin line blinks for me to start typing. My heart is beating a mile a minute and my head is on a rampage. I shut my eyes tight and take a deep breath to keep myself from going crazy. In and out. And then it starts, just as I remember it. The words slip through my fingers like a song I know all too well. One word after the other, never ending. It's been so long that the feeling is so alien. I missed this.I finish a chapter in no time and find myself sighing in satisfaction. Writing has always been my calm through the storm. My drug.
The sunlight attacks my pupils as I make my third attempt to open my eyes. There's a loud bang in my head making me wince in agony. I reach over to my bed side table to grab my phone but I seem to be on the wrong side of the bed.I shuffle around until I'm left with no choice but to open my eyes. The action sends bullets up my brain and I let out another wince.
I didn't want to go to the funeral.Listening to people telling me how sorry they are was the last thing I needed. Tristan said I'd regret it if I didn't go. He said it was important that I said my goodbye, that I won't see it now but I'll be thankful in the future.
Katie and I have gone out every night since Friday. I feel beyond exhausted. She comes to my house and we just scatter through the night, with no plans whatsoever. I find myself being thankful that she entered my life. She brings out a side of me I didn't know existed, the wild and un-patterned side of me.
"You were late today," Mr Romano says sternly after I enter his office and close the door behind me. Our morning briefing was delayed because of the director meeting he had earlier."I didn't know you needed me here early today," I respond calmly. I don't necessarily have a specific time I need to be at work. I just need to make sure that deadlines are met. It's in my contract. And so I look at him with a dare to say something about my lateness but he seems to think otherwise and just shrugs instead.
When I first met Meghan, we were at a club. Tristan had forced me to go out again, to my dismay. They weren't yet dating and he'd invited her to join us. I'd been so mad because I thought it was just going to be the two of us.When she'd walked in, it was like time froze. She was wearing a short, tight red dress, revealing her long beautiful legs. She'd completed her look with a red Matt lipstick and I remember the awe in everyone's faces.
"Have you spoken to him?""He doesn't really give me much of a choice." I say coincidentally locking my phone when I see him calling again."And he's still my fiancé." I don't have a choice but to answer his calls."Is it still the thing with his father?""No. Fuck his father. It's just that..."He doesn't want kids."It's nothing."I'm ashamed to tell her. It's embarrassing.The topic about kids is one you have before you even start dating, not after you've gotten engaged. But Jake and I'
I was never much into planning out my wedding when I was growing up. All I knew was that I wanted to get married, and that was about it. I never planned out the kind of wedding dress I'd be wearing, or what kind of wedding I'd want. I also never imagined the kind of proposal I'd want. But never in a million years would I have thought I'd want to marry someone who'd proposed to me the way that Jake did.It was... un-special.Of course I'd thought he was joking so I'd laughed. He'd laughed with me too.We'd then sat in a comfortable silence for a while before,"Seriously though. Will you marry me Mia?" His eyes held a softness in them I'd never seen before on him. It was like he was looking right into my soul. So with
From the moment he stopped the lift for me, my heart chose him without my knowledge.He's probably the most annoying, most selfish person I've ever met. But of all my days of loving - Lord knows I've loved, it's never felt this way before. Not with Tristan, not with Luke. Not with anyone.I've read stories and watched movies about how perfect that moment you meethimis supposed to be. I've always imagined how magical the moment would be for me too, because well, that's the picture that's always been painted. How you'll know when he's the one by how perfect the moment will be.My first experience withhimwas the complete opposite of that. On the first day I met him, he spilled a very hot, hot chocolate on my chest. He also got me in
"Who else is coming?""Maybe a few other people. I don't remember.""Grandma!""Mia, my memory isn't what it used to be."I absolutely hate birthday parties. I hate it even more when it's mine. I always preferred spending the day with Tristan just watching movies and doing absolutely nothing special. Mom and dad knew that and they'd respected it, Aunty Maggie did too.But my stubborn grandma just won't let up.She claims it's because she's never celebrated the day with me. My one birthday wish when I was growing up was always to not see my grandparents. Of course it was granted. It was the one day I wouldn
"You're a difficult person to talk to." It literally feels like I'm talking to a wall."Mia you talk too much." He says not even bothering to look up from his laptop.I don't know what to do."It can't be true though right?"He did say Meghan accused him of being in love with me, we laughed about that. Right? There's no way it's true."I mean I guess he's been acting weird lately, but that doesn't necessarily mean he's in love with me now, does it?" I continue to speak alone as my dear friend continues to ignore me.I haven't been able to sleep since my session with Meg earlier today. It's now past midnigh
"R200 000 for a bag?!"Does it carry itself around?"Yup. And that's the cheapest we've got."Even the lady who works here thinks that's ridiculous, you can see it in her eyes."Mam, Birkin bags are incredibly unique." The manager explains to me. Clearly that's something she tells people on a daily.They wouldn't even let me in the shop until I told them who my grandmother was. Apparently only certain people can have the luxury of being sold this incredibly expensive piece of garbage. I am shocked that this is the world we live in.I don't care how rich I am, I'm not getting myself a bag that's anything over a R1000. But this is not for me so,
"So he called the company and they ended up taking me. I'm starting on... Hey are you listening to me?""Nugget. You've been talking about this for a million years. I know the whole story by heart now. You still won't answer his calls yada yada yada." He says annoyingly."But what did he think would happen after all that he said to me? That I'm just going to forgive him? Just like that?" I say and I hear him grunt through the phone."Tristan what's the point of our friendship if I can't tell you my frustrations?"I genuinely want to know."I'm sorry nugget. But you should at least say thank you. You did get the job because of him." He says confusing my made up
I hang up the upcoming call on my phone for the umpteenth time this morning before I decide to just switch it off.Today's got to be perfect. I can't afford distractions. I ignore the weird feeling laced with that word.After taking a few breaths, I finally step out of my car and make my way into the giant building I've googled too many times. It looks even better in person."Hi how are you doing?"I don't like asking people this question because it's always pretentious, on both sides. When someone asks how you're doing they don't really care to know how you're really doing, and when people answer that question, they always feel the need to give just one answer, the expected answer.Today I ask because I'm need
I don't like being left alone in people's houses. For multiple reasons but also because sometimes people just show up. This is obviously not at all likely to happen but that's currently what's happening to me.Jake and I were working on some reports until he randomly decided he needed to go get a quickie, so he went to go visit Emily or whoever it is who's his victim now.I'm mad because that seriously could've waited. I'm stopping the things that I need to do so I can help him out and this is how he thanks me? Ok maybe I don't have things I need to do since I have all the time in the world now, but it doesn't change the fact that I'm now face to face with the man who used to make my life a living hell."Can I get you something to drink?"He's just staring at me and