Chapter 5

School was going well, I enjoyed all my classes I had. I finally got to know my roommate Ann. This was her second year, so she took me around the campus to show me around everywhere. Oliver wasn’t far from where I was going to school, so we got to see each other a lot. He a lot of the time would bring me lunch or meet me with coffee. I felt like I should do the same for him, but I seemed to always be so busy I never had the time to leave campus and surprise him. We had been dating for about 3 months. I know not a very long time, but we dated for some time before. I wanted to do something special we hadn’t had sex yet, so I thought a romantic weekend would be nice. I booked us a room close to a night club. I got done with my classes early that day and surprised him at his room waiting on him with some food. He was excited to see me waiting on him. He ran up to me and yelled Bella what are you doing here. I gave him a kiss and told him about my plans. He dug into the food and laughed saying of course I would plan a sweet get away.

We arrived at the room and I got a shower to get around for the night. Oliver sat in the room getting around for us to leave for dinner soon. I tried to hurry getting around I finally came out; Oliver grabbed my hands and said wow looking at me and said how did I get so lucky to get someone as beautiful as you. I didn’t say anything I just pulled myself close to him and kissed him. We left for dinner first, we went to a little Italian place close to the club. We talked about school and our futures. I finally felt like I was where I belonged in life. I didn’t have girls bulling me, everyone was so worried about their studies and grades they didn’t have time to bully. I felt like I was independent for once. Could this be possible, could I finally not be dependent one someone. We went to the club and I used my fake id to get us some drinks. The comedian that was on I have never seen but he had us laughing through the whole show. I reached for Oliver’s hand and he smiled at me squeezing mine.

We got back to the room, I slipped off my shoes. When I turned around Oliver was on the bed. I crawled beside him and took off my pants. We sat and talked for a while. I finally asked him if he was going to sleep with me or not. He sat up some and asked if I was sure. I rolled my eyes then said why do you think I took my pants off sitting next to you. He smiled but didn’t move or say anything. He stood up and removed his shirt then dropped his pants. He got onto the bed, he opened my legs and leaned down to kiss me. We laid there in that position with him hovering over me and us making out for some time. He moved down to my underwear and I was scared I was going to feel panicked again. He stopped before pulling them down and asked if I was sure I wanted this? I laughed and said yes pull my underwear off for him, I said I never had to undress myself for someone. He smiled then leaned down to kiss me again I could tell he was a little shaky. Was he nervous? We had slept together before why was be shaky for? Was he scared? I didn’t have much time to think about all that the kissing lead to touching he asked if I wanted him to eat me out. I shook my head no, he was already heading that way then he stopped and asked me why? I shrugged and said never done it before. He nodded and said okay. He moved back up to me and started to kiss again. I wanted him bad the more we kissed it was like he was teasing me I arched myself closer to him. I let out a moan when he moved to my neck nothing loud just a soft moan. He pulled me close and positioned my legs a little more open, so he could glide in with ease. I grabbed at his back pulling him into me more. I wrapped my legs around him trying to pull him into me harder with every stroke. This time it was so much better than when we were first together. Why was this? Were we more comfortable? Did we learn more things with other people? Whatever the reason was it made the sex good. We did it several times that night. I think he had been waiting so long he was happy to finally be able to take advantage of me. I didn’t feel scared or nervous with him, I thought I might, but I wanted him and was excited each time we did it that night. Was it because he asked me before doing things? It made me wonder, why was I so scared before. What made me feel so uneasy?

The next morning, we got up early to head back to my house and go with my mom to get my brother. I was so excited to get to see him and have him home finally. Finn was at the house him and his girlfriend broke up. Oliver and I agreed we would go and get drinks after Fredrick got home. We usually got together at least once a week sometimes with our boyfriend/girlfriend, there were other times it was just us. I was happy we finally were able to get back to being friend again. These last few months had been the best. I knew it would change once Fredrick got home he was and forever would be Finn’s best friend. When we got to the airport it was like Finn knew what I was thinking about that day, he pulled me off to tell me that even though my brother was coming home didn’t mean he would stop hanging out with me. He enjoyed the friendship that we have made over the years. I smiled and hugged him, I tried not to get teary eyed, so I just told him thanks. I was glad to know I would always have him around.

I loved that Oliver knew his place in my family. When my brother came out, I ran to him. Oliver let go of my hand and whispered to me hurry and run. I started to cry when I got into his arms. He was finally home for good. I couldn’t believe it; the 4 years was finally over. It seemed like we became such different people in the separation we had. My mom wrapped her arms around us saying, I still don’t know how I got so lucky to have two kids like you. We both kissed her cheek, Finn snuck in and hugged us as well. We stood in the airport for a long time talking with each other. Finally, Finn asked if we would leave and get some food. Fredrick grabbed his head and laughed messing up his hair then said let’s go.

When we finished dinner, we went back to my house to help Fredrick get his things home. He looked at me and Finn then said stayca? We laughed, Oliver looked at me and repeated stayca? I smiled then said when we were kids we use to all bring our favorite things and stay up all night watching movies, playing games, and eating food. Oliver gave me and kiss and said he would be back to get me in the morning for school. I smiled then jumped in his arms to give him a kiss. I walked him out and talked to him and thanked him again for not being bothered by it and coming to get me in the morning. He leaned down and said I love you Bella, I always have. We hadn’t said we loved each other at this point. I felt nervous love, was that what this was? I looked at him and I said I think I love you too. I’m not sure if that’s the right thing to say but I learned over time there was a difference between really liking someone and being border line obsessed with them and truly loving them. I felt like this was that moment, but I wasn’t sure. Did you ever truly know for sure when you loved someone? We said our goodbyes and I went back inside with everyone.

I entered my brothers’ room with a ton of snacks and food. I wasn’t even looking at the boys I just said so I guess I’m in love. Fredrick took the chips and Finn grabbed the little cakes then they said oh yeah? I sat down and asked if they had ever been in love? They both looked at each other than me and said nope I don’t think so. I mean we love you and all. I started to eat some chips and salsa I had, and I said really neither of you? I looked at Fredrick and said what about, before I could get it out he cut me off and said nope. He then said before you ask Finn it’s a no as well, I mean those girls were fun to date and fuck but that’s all. I told them I get that I guess, I mean Kam was a lot of fun to date and have sex with he just wasn’t someone I loved. I mean I didn’t even love Oliver the first time we dated. Fredrick set down the chips and said so how many people have you slept with now? I gave him an offended stare then said back how many have you slept with? He went back to eating chips. Finn always chimed in to make us laugh he said I’m not ashamed of my numbers its 6 and I loved getting to sleep with every single one of the six ladies I got. We all started to laugh, I don’t know how true what he said was, but he knew how to make us smile. I noticed that they all had brought some drinks. I looked at my brother then said hey where is my drinks? He pulled out some apple cider for me to drink. I got up on the bed that was getting a little small for the three of us now, I said I love getting older and now being able to drink with you goofs. I pulled them in for a hug and said I love you guys. They laughed and said thanks love you too Bell. I realized only my mom and brother called me Bell and now Finn. Usually people always called me Airabell, or Oliver called me Bella. I loved the nicknames I got from people it made me feel special and I needed that in life.

The next morning Oliver was there to wake me I was a little hung over, okay I was a lot hung over from the night of drinking. He brought me a red bull to help before I had to go to class. I don’t know what I would do without this man he knew me so well. I reluctantly got up and finally left for class. I tried to make it home as often as I could to be able to see Fredrick and hang out. I missed being at home and getting to spend time with him.

I finished up my first year in school and was ready for the next 3 years to be done with. Fredrick finally got into the coast guard like he wanted to. He ended up getting Finn a job with him. They both always loved swimming this was just Fredricks dream. My mom finally got a boyfriend. I guess they had been dating for years before she decided to introduce us. He was a doctor at the hospital, his name was Craig. He was blonde hair, he had green eyes; he looked like he played sport he had that build to him, he wore glasses and was always in a good mood. He seemed like he made my mom happy and I wanted that so much for her. Oliver and I have been doing great. He finished school and has been working with kids in foster care. He really loved getting to help all these kids find good homes for themselves.  I was about half way through my second year when he said he wanted to go out of state for vacation. I was so excited I didn’t get to go on vacation very often and I loved to travel. We talked about all the places we wanted to go, and we settled on Niagara Falls for our little vacation. I told my brother and mom about my little vacation they picked on me about us being like an old married couple already. My mom asked my brother when we get to meet his new girlfriend. He laughed then said we aren’t even dating so maybe when we date. I told him if I wasn’t so excited to get to leave I would ask him more, I however have some packing to do. I went to my room to pack up my bag to leave.

Oliver met me at the house and we left for Niagara Falls. We went to a few places around town and went out to eat. We spent most of our time in the hotel. It was right one the water fall. I laid in bed with Oliver thinking about how life couldn’t be better than this. We were young in a beautiful place. I laid there still Oliver was still sleeping and I wanted to enjoy this moment. I grabbed my phone and sent Finn a text showing him the place we were at. He sent me a photo of him laying in bed and replied nothing but a boring room. Oliver woke up, he asked if I had eaten yet. I told him no I was just enjoying getting to lay with him. It was our last day there. I wanted to just relax and enjoy the day. Oliver was in his underwear and I was in nothing but a robe, we hadn’t done anything since we got to the hotel. Sex wasn’t always easy for us to get around to doing with us seeing each other in passing a lot. There was quick sex in his car or bathrooms in public places sometimes. I was happy to have as much time to do what we wanted. I dropped my robe, I told him I was ready. He gave me a confused look and said Bella we have had sex quite a bit I think you’ve been ready. I shook my head and said not that, I laid on the bed hanging my head off the side of it told him to come closer. I still don’t think he knew what I wanted, he walked over running his hands down my body opening my legs he started to slowly touch me and I moaned, then pulled him close to me and shoved him inside my mouth. I think I must have shocked him he pulled away and said oh you meant ready to do that. I didn’t move from the spot I was in and nodded yes to him. He slowly ran his hand over my body again as he slowly inserted himself into my mouth. He was gentle at first giving me time to get use to it then he started to rub me faster sliding his fingers in me when he felt me moaning he began to move faster. I realized what I was missing out on and how much I enjoyed this. When I got off it was different. My legs were shaky, and I stopped him before I got off, I wasn’t sure how to finish or if I did. I didn’t want to tell him this though. We switched rolls I flipped around putting my vagina close to him. He rubbed my legs kissing my thigh moving closer to me, before he put his mouth on me he slipped his fingers in slowly pulling them in and out kissing my thigh again. He buried his head into me the kissing licking and rubbing made everything blurry I was sure at the end I got off. I arched my back feeling like I was about to explode, and I had to stop him. It was a relief that I needed, the same way I felt when I would cut myself my new vise to help me release emotion. He had gotten off once and me twice, but I wanted more I needed it again. I talked him into sex our first day was wasted on nothing but me talking him into doing whatever I wanted and fucking me in all the scenarios I wanted to try.

The hotel had this little café on the waterfall we waited until the last day to check it out. When we got there Oliver was talking about his life plans to me. He told me how he wanted to do something more with his life, he loved his job, but he thought about going back to school or doing something more. We pulled up outside he then looked at me and said Bella I may not always know what I want to do but I do know that I want to always have you. He then pulled out a ring to ask me to marry him. I didn’t hesitate I put on the ring I didn’t say yes or anything it was such an exciting moment. I couldn’t wait to tell everyone, my brother and my mother and of course Finn. I got sad for a moment when I thought about him, he was like a brother to me and I loved him dearly. Don’t you want to marry someone that feels like family to you? Is that love? Why was I questioning this? Do I always sabotage myself? The evening ended well. We left that night to go home, I still couldn’t believe we were getting married. I told him I didn’t want to get married until I finished school though. He grabbed my hand and said okay.

When we returned home I headed back to school. I took off the ring I wanted my family to be the first people to know. I couldn’t wait for the following weekend to tell everyone. Finn came out to go out with Oliver and I, he brought his new girlfriend Kasey, she liked to go by Kase. We went out to a comedy club. I followed Finn to the bathroom and told him about the engagement. He hugged and congratulated me. I told him I didn’t want anyone to know until I could tell Fredrick and my mom. He nodded, I grabbed him from walking away and then told him about what I feared about getting married. He hugged me again and then said no one knows for sure, your expectations are to high and unrealistic on relationships try to just enjoy this. I nodded and said thanks.

I went to my mom’s that weekend and Fredrick wasn’t there, I called him multiple times then pulled the sister card on him. Yes, it is a thing and I can use it if I feel its important. He was at the house in an hour. I showed them my ring, my brother congratulated me. My mom hugged me and said oh my baby is getting married. She asked if we set a date I told her no because I didn’t want to get married before I finished school. My mom looked at me and said that’s like 2 years away. I smiled and looked at Fredrick he replied I think it’s a great idea. I just kept smiling and nodded my mom told me to stop I looked like a fool doing that. I said good that’s what I was looking for. I gave them a kiss then left to meet Elise to tell her. I haven’t seen her in months since we both got so busy with school. I couldn’t wait to finish school and get married finally. The next few years seemed to have dragged on. I slowly was planning wedding things as we got closer to my graduation date.