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Chapter 34
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2022-01-08 04:09:35As I walked down the streets, I felt a different kind of feeling. After escaping the detective, Steve was safe and here I was not sure about tommorow or what it would bring, the uncertainties of the future.
A couple was holding hands across the streets, the girl smiling sweetly as wind blew her black hair that was glittering under the moon.
They stopped to kiss and I still followed the duo keenly like a YouTube fan. I imagined his kisses leaving her senseless with want and boneless with desire.
Couldn't my life just be the same? Without angels blowing a trumpet and shouting time is up for being happy, now start being sad.My mother's death had bore a hole into my heart and it seemed my father's presence had plastered that hole over.
Then why did it seem like I was still bleeding and hurting inside . Was I bipolar now?
An awkward pain flushed through my gut down to my stomach and I sto
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" Collateral damage!" I screamed. Out of the whole world, only four people knew what was going on and one of them was six feet underground. Whoever stole the diary, probably him my father to say, my biological father and I. He looked at me surprised. At this point I wasn't sure if it was staged or genuine. " Yeah, collateral damage, a lot of it," he replied. I felt the weird feeling come back and I was about to start shaking and breathing fast again. At this point it was right to question my sanity, was my sanity okay? The few people in my life who I now held onto like a life raft were not so steady anymore. " My wife going insane, my divorce, yeah my divorce, I act unaffected but deep down it's affecting me. And many more," he smiled. " Your aching dying love for me just died when you realized I'm flawed from head to toe?" I asked
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I rushed to the scene holding Luke's hand trying to hide his face so he couldn't be exposed to the dirt and sin of the world before my eyes. He was too young for that. I expected a bleeding Mary, or someone down on the ground after the scream. What a disappointment. Why was I even disappointed. It just meant I was rotten inside and reveled when I saw blood and bad things happen. He had smashed the bottle on the wall breaking it into pieces and pouring the liquor it had inside all over the verandah. " Get off your high horse, me finding ways to generate warmth with you?" And a loud ugly roar followed added to by laughter. I covered Luke's ears sos it wouldn't be poisoned by the words. I had heard about families who fought. Families who had a drunk parent, a drunk father who would drink everyday and haul abuses or beat the children.
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" Come on Luke, you can't do this to a girl who barely eats," I whispered in his ear and he replied by snoring loudly. " Wait hear, I'll get someone to carry you," I said. " Twaine," he grunted slowly, refusing to let go of my hand. "Teddy bear, just relax I'm coming back right now, nothing is going to eat you up," I whispered again ruffling his hair. " Before you go," he interrupted. " Let's just walk as you tell me, please," I tried to plead. " No, I'm sleeping," he groaned. He was a kid and probably wanted someone to baby him around. I couldn't blame him, he just lost his mama at such a young age, and with everything going on he needed a support system or someone to make him feel loved. " Can I ask you something, but please don't be mad?" " Okay , Luke ask me," I replied
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" Sorry teddy bear," I whispered softly." Did you tell day about it?"" No, I would get punished again," he said afraid." Well, next time anything happens, you speak to daddy, you tell him what happened that same day or as soon as you see him okay?"" Yeah."" But you didn't answer my question?" He asked." Well, yeah, look at me."He looked into my eyes shyly feeling guilty." Why are you asking, or rather where did the question come from?" I inquired." Well, don't be mad, just that I heard Mary and some women talking about it. And they spoke for long saying you were not my sister," he answered." What else did they say," I asked." Well, I didn't stay longer, because I felt bad and wanted to cry that you are not my sister," he said." Oh poor Luke," I sighed" I want you to know that even if an asteroid full of candy and chocolates hit the earth right now and we all drowned in sweetne
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I stood still waiting for his hand to hit home. It seemed like my body was the home of blows and I couldn't deny that.A person can get used to anything when given enough time. Right now I was used to all of it.His fist hit the wall behind me loudly as he cursed under his breath furiously.I didn't move or tremble, I was used to it all and if he had hit me I wouldn't have been scared.Nick came and held him back as he spoke fast in words I couldn't grasp." Just go upstairs to bed," he urged, " it's been a long day for everyone and clearly he is not taking it well, he needs time to grieve and many more," he then kissed my forehead as he urged me to go upstairs to bed.I nodded with teary eyes, trying to stay strong." Everyone get out of my house, all the illegal people out," he screamed.I looked back and Nick nodded telling me to go and
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" Noo," I screamed furiously as I kicked my legs in vain. His eyes grew wild as he laughed and roared in an ugly voice. " Papa," I cried as his hands tightened and I began coughing in snore like sounds. He lifted my head and hit it back on the ground and I tried to scream in pain but no voice came out. I lifted my hands trying to hold on to something as I took my last few breaths on earth. I don't know how but I managed to hold his neck too but and atrte squeezing too. His monster monster strength was nothing compared to my humane little strength as my eyes bulged out if their sockets. Just as I gathered a little strength and began squeezing his neck a weight from nowhere pulled me from under him making me hit the ground. As I coughed in desperation holding my chest and sore throat, I heard someo
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They say that if you sit by times square long enough, you will see the whole world pass by itself. Even though I had never been to times square, I felt like that towards life itself.If I sat by the same spot with patience for long enough I would come across People that I was looking for or people that I had lost.The world is in constant motion and those who passed by at one time will come back to the same spot to finish their circle.Right now, that's what I wanted to believe in. That's what I wanted to happen. I just wanted to stand in one spot and look at the whole circle and try to figure out where I went wrong." Sorry I shouted at you, but you scared me with Luke and got my heart racing and blood boiling," she breathed." It's okay, I would have done the same," I nodded." No," she replied, " it's me who hasn't been trusting you and counting on on you,
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I looked at Elaine and she signaled me with her finger to keep quiet.The person kept banging the door and it was almost giving away from it's hinges.I kept quiet and tried steading my breathe and taking control of my reflexes.Luke was sleeping peacefully again and it seemed the continuous pounding had not gotten to his ears."I think you should ask what he or she wants," I whispered to Elaine." Let's just see if he'll go away," she whispered back.We kept quiet for a while and the pounding continued.Whoever it was had a firm determination to get in and keep quiet about it.After a while I felt my ears screaming at me to keep the voices out. Specifically the pounding of the door. I felt like if I didn't stop the pounding in the next minute, my ears and would burst or I would just collapse and run insane for all eternity."Just stop pounding that door," I screamed all of a sudden from nowhere.Elaine look
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Everything breaks, hearts break, promises break, biscuits break and so does determination and strong resolve. " Goodnight," My father whispered as he kissed my forehead. " Goodnight papi ," I whispered back as he helped me to tuck myself into bed. As he stood to go I called again. " Papi, I love you," I said. He stopped moving and stood still in his trucks before turning around. " Sweet heart," he began, " Tommorow we are going to appear before a judge, I know this may come as a shock to you, this may not be what you expected, but whatever happens, whatever I say, you just have to know that I love you so much," he breathed. " Okay papa," I whispered back. I wondered when I became such a professional liar and shook my head slowly. Did I deserve all this love? Most of all, wa
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As flowers blossom in spring, happiness blooms in emotional warmth.I gasped as my breath hitched in my mouth."Oh my God," I gasped again.He was wearing the cutest smile in the world as he looked into my eyes and held my gaze their." I know this is a lot to ask but allow me to ask you to be my best friend, my girlfriend, let me be the first person you want to call and see everyday, I want you to let me in, I'm not perfect but i can do my best to make girl happy, Twaine, please be my girlfriend" he finished.He was on one knee and as he spoke i couldn't hide the happiness and smile in my face even if i tried. Everything seemed perfect right now. he was word and emotion perfect. It was true that 9one happy moment could undo all the sad momentsHis blue eyes sparkled with the skin a little wrinkled, round and dark under them, a sign he hadn't been
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Steve: Hey, sweet heart, I arrived home safely, take care I love you, let me know when we can face time.I smiled slowly before I typed back, " I miss you, I'll call you, stop smirking or I won't," I typed back." Elaine," I knocked once before trying to open the door." Hello, I'm home," I knocked again and waited for a reply patiently.I knocked again before I decided to push the door. It was locked from inside and their was no sound coming out." Open the door, Elaine," I almost screamed.I counted one to ten again and began knocking again.What was happening to her? I began pounding on the door continuously. The noise would obviously disturb whoever was inside until they decided to open the door.After almost five minutes if banging the door relentlessly, I heard a sound at the key hole and she pulled the door ope
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I closed the door to my room and found it neatly cleaned. The sheets and duvets had been changed. The floor cleaned and all the clothes arranged in order.I locked the door and sunk down as my chin met my knees and stayed their, not crying not doing anything.Their was pain that ate you alive, it ate you from inside like cancer and laughed and mocked at you."You thought you could get away from us, you thought you could leave us behind, we are a part of you, wherever you go, whatever you do, you are one with us," my depression and anxiety laughed at me.I finally moved to the bed and covered myself with the duvet so no sounds would come out. I lay their blocking the whole world undecided, trying to stay alive before I went back.I found a razor blade made two thin lines in my thigh before writing a strong clear message.I hate myself.The w
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We got to the living room and Michael looked at us smiling knowing. I headed over to him and kisses him in the cheek." How are you?" I mocked." Well, their is no evidence left," he went straight to the point knowing that was what I was looking for.I smiled at him and winked." Thanks you," I curtsied." Why are you so Happy," Luke asked." Because I passed a test," I replied." What was wrong with Elaine," Michael asked me slowly in a low voice." Well, she is pretty stressed up about everything, " I half lied and half said the truth.He looked at me half convinced but choose to let it go.We headed to the kitchen and found dad cooking supper with an apron tied around his waist.Elaine went over to him and hugged him before I did the same." What are you cooking pao?" E
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We laughed loudly as we pushed open our gate." You didn't see how her face looked," Elaine breathed." It looked like like a wet weekend," I added as we laughed loudly and giggled like little children.We raced to the house and I let her come first intentionally.We pushed open the front door and we're greeted with a sweet aroma from the kitchen.Michael was sitting with Luke on the floor as he helped him build blocks.The twins were watching a video on YouTube. Something meant for kids and I guess it was johnny Johnny, yes papa." What's the surprise?" We both asked Michael." Well, you won't believe," he started before sniffing the air," you guys are drunk are you?"" No, "Elaine quickly refused as I pulled her back." It was only a few glasses of wine, dies it look that bad?" I asked." Well, if I smelled it, he definitely will and we ain't ready for more tornados and volcanoes here," he j
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" I can't thank you enough," Elaine repeated again as we neared our gate." Come on, that's random treat," I shrugged." How was your mini camping?" She asked." Well it was awesome, I mean totally awesome, i don't want to fill your head with rocket science, you'll definitely see the pictures once we get home." I smiled." Well, you think I don't know your are photo phobic, unless someone tied you ATI and took snaps of you as you screamed and wailed," she joked.We passed Cain's house and I watched a figure standing on the balcony. He was home my papa was home.I felt Elaine's eyes piercing holes intoe but I ignored her as I continued looking at him with interest. He stood their looking back neither of us looking away.I lifted my hands to wave so he could wave back but all I got was a brief nod that I imagined inside my head
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Steve: Hey, sweet heart, I arrived home safely, take care I love you, let me know when we can face time.I smiled slowly before I typed back, " I miss you, I'll call you, stop smirking or I won't," I typed back." Elaine," I knocked once before trying to open the door." Hello, I'm home," I knocked again and waited for a reply patiently.I knocked again before I decided to push the door. It was locked from inside and their was no sound coming out." Open the door, Elaine," I almost screamed.I counted one to ten again and began knocking again.What was happening to her? I began pounding on the door continuously. The noise would obviously disturb whoever was inside until they decided to open the door.After almost five minutes if banging the door relentlessly, I heard a sound at the key hole and she pulled the door open.
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I arrived home feeling high up in the clouds. As soon as Like saw me he ran up to me and hugged me tightly." Where is my present?" He asked." Oh my God, it seems I forgot," I joked. "" What? You forgot?" He almost wept as his mood changed drastically." Well, let's see if I didn't forget," I winked as I got into the house and headed upstairs.The living room was empty and Luke followed me upstairs. As soon as I arrived the all came rushing in.Luke, the twins and Michael.I pulled out Luke's present and he looked at it happily. A handkerchief with the logo of batman and another with the logo of superman. It was Steve's idea to buy him those handkerchiefs. Then an expensive robot car with it's remote.He grinned from ear to ear and couldn't help jumping up and down bragging. Next the
