64| Alone Together

I cried the rest of the night. As I packed the rest my stuff, the vacation house felt so different. It didn't have the inviting warmth and fun atmosphere that it had when Ryan was here; or the intimacy that I felt here alone with Alec. It just felt cold, empty, and impersonal.

I couldn't believe that after all of this, after everything that has happened, I was leaving paradise feeling more broken and humiliated than when I arrived.

It was a long, depressing flight back, but I finally made my way up the stairs and back to my familiar apartment.

It's crazy how living in Chicago, you could be surrounded by tons of people, yet feel so incredibly alone. That's how I felt. Completely alone... again.

I wheeled my suitcase through my apartment, which Maddie had been taking care of for me, so it actually was clean and warm when I arrived. I stopped for a minute to look out at the Chicago skyline, taking a deep breath before heading into my bedroom.

I left my suitcase in the corner and out