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34| Hammered
Last Updated:
2023-12-19 00:15:29Related chapters
Toxic Paradise 35| Game On (pt. 1)
Waking up this morning, I felt strange. I kept replaying my interaction with Alec last night over and over in my head. I didn't think what I felt for him was one sided... but after what he said last night, I couldn't help but wonder if it was. Had I been the one to lean in? Was every spark, jealousy driven moment, and ounce of attraction just a figment of my imagination?Just as I felt my head was going to explode, my phone lit up with an incoming phone call from Maddie. I answered, holding my phone at the most unflattering angle I could capture as her face appeared on my screen."Morning, bitch!" She screeched.I groaned. "You are way to chipper for this early in the morning."She rolled her eyes. "It's 9:00— why are you even still in bed? Don't you and Ryan have some amazing adventure planned?"I laughed, "Not really; I think we may go to breakfast somewhere, but other than that we were just going to have a pool day. Apparently there's some huge beach party tonight that Ryan wants
Last Updated : 2023-12-19Toxic Paradise 36| Game On (pt. 2)
Just then, Ryan entered the kitchen with a deck of cards and a huge grin on his face. "So, what do we think... King's Cup?""Sure; how 'bout that shot first?" I reminded him. I was gonna need it to get through a drinking game with these two."Oh yeah—one sec," Ryan said, placing the cards in front of me. I busied myself by shuffling the cards while Ryan retrieved the shot glasses, alcohol, and soda to chase with. Ryan and Alec didn't really need the soda; it was more for me.He poured them up and the 3 of us raised our shot glasses. "To one hell of a night!" Ryan cheered.I used the soda bottle to put some into my mouth first, then took my shot, and finally chased with more soda. Unfortunately, the soda was super fizzy, and some of it foamed from my mouth, dripping down my chin onto my bare thighs. At least it had missed my dress."You good, Jay?" Ryan asked, handing me a napkin which I gratefully took."Yeah," I responded. "I'm not great at shots."I heard Alec snickering beside me,
Last Updated : 2023-12-19Toxic Paradise 37| Boys and Bonfires (pt. 1)
I didn't know what to say. I could feel Noah standing behind me as I stood face to face with Josh and Chris. Seeing Josh's face just reminded me of how crazy I was behaving when he left me sitting on the kitchen island my first week here."Hey Jay," Chris greeted with a smile, "Can we come in?"I shook my head slightly to snap out of it. "Yes, of course, sorry, come on in."I let the two of them walk passed Noah and I as we all made our way into the kitchen to join Ryan and Alec.I was still feeling nervous as I took my seat at the kitchen island, and Noah found a spot standing behind me. Alec and Ryan were both standing up now as well, and were on the other side of the island across from us.Before I could introduce Noah, Alec spoke up. "Oh hey, I know you," he said, looking in our direction."Yeah, I was your surf instructor. Hey man!" Noah greeted, friendly as ever."Not you," Alec responded, fixing his gaze on Josh who was standing beside Noah, "you.""Alec," I warned. If he says
Last Updated : 2023-12-20Toxic Paradise 38| Boys and Bonfires (pt. 2)
"Oh my gosh!" I said, setting it down immediately. "Noah, I am so sorry!"He chuckled, ignoring the stream of beer that ran across his shirt. "It's fine, Jayna. I can honestly say I've never seen somebody manage to do that before."I didn't know what to say. I literally hated myself sometimes and I could feel my cheeks beginning to heat in embarrassment.Luckily for me, Noah didn't notice as he reached down, picking up the nozzle in his hands. "May I?"I nodded, holding my cup tilted so he could fill it up for me. "Thanks, Noah. I'm so sorry again.""Seriously, It's fine. Don't worry about it, okay?"I was grateful he was so chill about it. I mean, it was just beer, but still, I wouldn't have been too pleased if Noah had accidentally sprayed it onto my white dress.I waited for Noah to fill his own cup, and then the two of us made our way deeper into the crowd of people to dance. This music was upbeat, and Noah was actually a pretty good dancer; we were having a blast as we moved to t
Last Updated : 2023-12-20Toxic Paradise 39| Boys and Bonfires (pt. 3)
"What the hell!?" I yelled. I was about to storm off to confront Noah when I felt Ryan's hand thread around mine. "Jayna, calm down. He's an asshole. You could go and waste your time and energy cussing him out, or we can do what we do best, and have a good ass time together."Although I was boiling inside, and a little hurt, I decided to take Ryan up on his offer. The rest of the night, the two of us danced, drank, flirted, even swam a little in the ocean, and all the while dodged Noah, Josh, and even Alec.I had an amazing time despite the rough patches, and by the time we arrived back at the house I was happy... and hammered. Ryan went to his bed immediately, giving me a kiss on the cheek and telling me goodnight. I, however, knew that I wouldn't be able to sleep unless I had water handy. I knew I'd be needing it.Again, I didn't want to use a glass for fear of breaking it. So, I did as I have always done and I climbed on top of the counter, standing up and securing a plastic cup i
Last Updated : 2023-12-21Toxic Paradise 40| Recovery
Ryan wasn't in the living room yet, so I took it upon myself to be his wake up call. I knocked on his door, letting myself in without a reply. “Ohhh Ryannn!" I said, noting he was awake but still laying in bed."Oh my god... you're up before me? What a miracle!" He said, scooting over on the bed so I could lay with him.I made my way over, sitting beside him and pulling the blanket over myself. "Right? I needed to shower to try and get rid of my hangover. I feel like ass. How are you feeling?""Honestly, I'm feeling pretty terrible myself. How much did we drink last night?" He asked, running a hand over his eyes."Too much," I responded. "Way too much. Where do you keep the ibuprofen?"He groaned, "Ugh... you're gonna make me get up?"I chuckled, "I can get it; I just need to know where it is."He sighed, flinging his comforter off of himself and sitting up. "No, it's okay. I got it. I should probably take some too."I watched as he stood up off the bed, not hiding the fact that I wa
Last Updated : 2023-12-21Toxic Paradise 41| Boating
"I can't believe he didn't reply," Ryan said, popping some pineapple into his mouth. I agreed, shaking my head in disbelief as I let the evening sun toast my face.We had rented a speed boat that was fairly large. Well, Ryan rented it. I knew at this point I was probably deep in a debt hole with what I owed him. But I also assumed Ryan and I would be friends for a long while after all this, and knew I'd pay him back once I found a job— at least partially and in increments.It wasn't a private boat, but it was spacious with cushioned seats all around and 2 seats in the middle. The boat was white, with bright red accents and the word "PARASAILING" printed on the side. On the boat was Ryan, Alec, and I, along with 2 male crew members—a driver and someone to help with parasailing—and 2 other girls who appeared to be around our age, if not slightly older. They were sitting at the bow of the boat, flirting with Alec while Ryan and I sat in the back near the motor.Currently, the boat was an
Last Updated : 2023-12-22Toxic Paradise 42| Siesta Sleeze (pt. 1)
After the day we went parasailing, almost a week went by, and the dramas between Alec and I ceased to exist. But on the other hand, so did any interaction between us.Alec had made himself scarce. He and Ryan were still on good terms, but it seemed he didn't have any interest in joining in on our activities either. We were civil at home in the mornings, but mainly he would pop in and out to take care of Nelson, and then he wouldn't return home till after Ryan and I were in bed.Part of me found it nice, because my anxiety and insecurities decreased greatly. But on the other hand, I missed having him around. Something drew me to Alec, and toxic or not, I missed talking to him.I had just finished curling my hair with my curling wand, setting it down on the counter in my bathroom. I hadn't taken the time to curl my hair in a while, and I felt like I wanted to try and look nice tonight. I completed my makeup before making my way over to my closet.I wasn't sure what to wear. Ryan said we
Last Updated : 2023-12-22
Latest chapter
Toxic Paradise Epilogue (pt. 2)
Unfortunately, I didn't get to spend much time with Alec between the wedding and dinner, since the wedding party had to take pictures. I was able to see him just long enough for him to give me his jacket, and a quick kiss, before he headed to the bar. I told him not to get too drunk until I got back, but who even knew with him. He went crazy for free alcohol… as did I. It was awkward taking so many pictures with David by my side. But, he and I were civil, and as promised, I was there for him during the hard times with his mother. She was currently getting treatment, and so far she seemed to be responding well. There haven’t been any new tumors, and most of the original ones were gone or shrinking. We definitely had high hopes for her, and his family seemed to he doing quite well all things considered. Alec was also surprisingly cool about my role in David's life; after I explained it all, he understood and supported me being there for him as a friend. Albeit a distant friend- but
Toxic Paradise Epilogue (pt. 1)
6 months had passed since that night at my apartment. I still couldn't believe how fast the 6 months had gone by since Alec and I decided to officially be together. I'm not exaggerating when I say that this could have been the best 6 months of my life. For the first few months, Alec and I had a long distance relationship, and honestly, it wasn't always easy. I loved Alec, but he still knew how to push my buttons just as he always had, and I couldn't help but get under his skin sometimes too. The distance made this even more irritating since we were getting plenty of the banter and not enough of the physical connection.Sometimes, I would think that the distance was just too much, but then, he would show up at my apartment. He always had the timing perfect. It was like, when I was feeling like I needed him, he was always there. Maybe he felt the same way about me too in those moments; I liked to believe we were connected in that way. Occasionally, if he had to work, he would fly me o
Toxic Paradise 68| Worth Fighting For
Oh god, I freaked out, pushing against Alec's chest to move him further into the hallway... this was the worst timing ever. I followed him out, my hand still on his chest as I closed the door behind me. "Alec... what are you doing here?" I managed to ask. My heart was thudding so hard in my chest I was starting to worry about my health. It had been less than 2 weeks since I left Siesta Key, but damn... I missed him so much. He was so handsome, and as per usual, he smelled so good; so familiar. I just wanted to throw my arms around him and forget about our fight; forget about the fact that he walked away from me; and forget about the fact that David was down on one knee just on the other side of my door. But, the angry and confused look on Alec's face stopped me from doing what I wanted. "Well..." he said, "I guess it doesn't really matter why I'm here now." "Of course it matters!" I said, "Should I ask David to leave?" All I wanted in this moment was to have him tell me "yes." I
Toxic Paradise 67| Mistakes
As David sauntered into my place, I couldn't help but to be irritated by how easily he made himself comfortable. He shrugged off his jacket, took off his shoes, and headed right to the couch as if he was welcome here; as if he was still my boyfriend. The most irritating part, was how he patted an open palm on the couch cushion beside him, inviting me to sit down, as if it wasn't my own freaking couch!I took a deep breath to push back my irritation before wandering into the living room. Instead of sitting beside him though, I perched awkwardly on the arm of the couch on the way opposite side, plopping my fluffy, bunny-slipper, feet right onto the cushion. I crossed my hands over my chest as I waited for him to say something. There was an awkward moment of silence as we just stared at each other. Normally, I would have swooned at that look. The one he was giving me right now used to be one of my favorites. That was one of my favorite things about David. When he looked at me, he made m
Toxic Paradise 66| Alec (pt. 2)
Alec’s POV:I relayed my entire story, the way I had when I was with Jayna that night in her bed. If I was being honest- it was a lot easier to tell Jayna than it was for me to tell my story right now. Telling Ryan was brutal; he listened, but I could see the hurt on his face. He felt betrayed by our parents—his dad in particular. I never wanted to hurt Ryan- that’s why I had hid everything from him all these years. "Wow... for once I honestly don't know what to say," Ryan finally replied."I told you. This is why I didn't want to say anything. You work with your dad. The two of you have been close your entire life, and I don't want to get in the way of that,” I explained, leaning back in my chair as if a heavy weight had just been lifted from my shoulders. "Yeah... I'm not gonna lie, it hurts to realize that the man you've looked up to your entire life is nothing but a giant asshole. But... I'm also pissed as hell that you felt you couldn't tell me this before!" "I..." I tried to
Toxic Paradise 65| Alec (pt. 1)
Alec's POV:"Fucking idiots," I thought as I had to tell my co-worker that his microphone was muted for the 10th time today.In his defense, everything had been pissing me off lately. I had gotten home over a week ago and still, Jayna was on my mind constantly. It was irritating as hell. I couldn't stop thinking about her scent, the feel of her small body safe in my arms, and the crazy thoughts that came out of her mouth. I tried everything to move on, and I thought it would be easy, but it hasn't been. I was even having trouble with sex... and I never had trouble with sex. I had tried multiple times and with several women, but I just couldn't get turned on. Even some of my regular hook-ups just weren't doing it for me any more; not unless I pretended they were Jayna.And it pissed me off. I knew she was probably back with her ex...whatever the fuck his name was...Dean? Derek? Dipshit? I supposed it didn't really matter. What mattered was that he probably had his undeserving hands
Toxic Paradise 64| Alone Together
I cried the rest of the night. As I packed the rest my stuff, the vacation house felt so different. It didn't have the inviting warmth and fun atmosphere that it had when Ryan was here; or the intimacy that I felt here alone with Alec. It just felt cold, empty, and impersonal.I couldn't believe that after all of this, after everything that has happened, I was leaving paradise feeling more broken and humiliated than when I arrived. It was a long, depressing flight back, but I finally made my way up the stairs and back to my familiar apartment. It's crazy how living in Chicago, you could be surrounded by tons of people, yet feel so incredibly alone. That's how I felt. Completely alone... again. I wheeled my suitcase through my apartment, which Maddie had been taking care of for me, so it actually was clean and warm when I arrived. I stopped for a minute to look out at the Chicago skyline, taking a deep breath before heading into my bedroom. I left my suitcase in the corner and out
Toxic Paradise 63| Text From the Ex (pt. 2)
Dinner was phenomenal. I'm talking 3 course, fancy drinks, beautiful presentation... phenomenal. At this point, I'd say the only downfall was that it's impossible to feel sexy with a literal food baby. I named him Trevor. Alec and I were in his bed now, my head laying on his warm chest while his hand lazily brushed the bare skin on my arm. "I don't want you to leave tomorrow," he said, breaking the silence."I know," I let out a sigh. "I don't want to go home tomorrow either, but I need to. It's time I get my life back on track." He smiled, placing a soft kiss on my forehead. "As long as I get to be a part of that life from now on." I sat up, leaning down to plant another kiss on his full lips. "Well, that's a given." I placed a palm on his chest, pushing myself up and off the bed. "I'll be back. I need to pee." He chuckled. "So ladylike you are." I took my time in the bathroom, trying to make up for my food baby by finger combing my hair and applying some of Alec's chapstick.
Toxic Paradise 62| Text From the Ex (pt. 1)
The days following our little road trip were great, and dare I say, some of the best days of my life. We had returned back to the house the next day, and our days had been full of beach time, swimming, and napping, followed by nights of hot tubbing, dining, and snuggling. Oh... and of course the sex. The mind blowing sex was definitely a huge part of our time together. Despite everything negative that Alec and done and said to me back when we were feuding, he really was sweet now. He always put me first, and I could feel myself slowly chipping away at the walls he had built up over the years. Each night we spent together, he revealed more and more of himself, and really, I couldn't ask for more than that. He was trying, and I could see the efforts. It even seemed like Alec was coming around to the idea of a relationship. I didn't want to get ahead of myself, but the way things were going with us, I couldn't help but see a future with him. Albeit a way different future than the one I
