2| No. THIS is Rock Bottom

Everything felt like a haze around me. It was like I heard the words, but my poor brain couldn't process what had just happened to me.

I saw David reach out a hand and hover it towards me as he spoke, "Jeez; Jay, you broke your wine glass! Are you okay? Did you cut yourself?"

I completely ignored him as I spoke my next words. "I'm sorry... What? You can't be serious. I don't think I heard you right."

"Jay... I—," David tried to explain before I cut him off.

"Because if I heard you right, it sounded like you just said you want to break up, which would be insane considering there wasn't anything wrong in our relationship to begin with."

"Jayna, listen to me. It's not you. It's—,"

I put up a hand to silence him and felt tears forming in my eyes that I refused to let spill over. "Don't you dare. Don't you fucking give me that cheesy 'it's not you it's me' bullshit. It must be me, because I still want to be with you, and you don't want to be with me, so it's clearly something wrong with me or something I did to make you feel this way."

At this moment, our poor server came over to clean up the mess I had made with my wine. I shot him an apologetic smile through my tears as he wiped up my mess.

"Can I get you another glass, ma'am?" he asked, perfectly polite.

"No, that's okay. In fact, if it's not too late, please cancel my entrée as well. I suddenly lost my appetite," I replied, glaring at David instead of making eye contact.

"If you're sure...," our server said.

This time I looked at him, "I'm sure. Thank you."

He gave me a nod before heading off, and I was yet again left alone with David.

I didn't say anything as he spoke, "No, it's not you Jay... you're perfect."

"Then what the fuck, David!? Save your cheesy one-liners and give me some actual answers," I snapped.

"I... don't want to hurt you," he said, looking down at the table instead of at me.

I scoffed, "Well it's a little too late for that, so just tell me already."

"I met someone else," he blurted.

Ouch. Maybe I wasn't ready to hear that. It was definitely not what I expected to hear.

"What? When? How?" I sputtered. I felt like I had just gotten stabbed in the heart. "Damnit David, I am with you all the time! I give you everything! What else could you possibly need!?"

David continued to avoid my gaze, fiddling with his napkin. "I can't explain it, Jayna... it's just when I'm with her, it feels like it did when you and I first met; it feels like there's something with this girl that we've just lost over the years."

Hearing about the other woman this time made it harder for me to control my tears as they began to flow from my eyes. "David... it's called a fucking relationship! Over time the way we feel in relationships change; we grow together and we get comfortable but that doesn't mean the relationship is broken. Sure, it isn't as lusty or passionate like it once was, but the companionship we shared was just as magical to me as it was in the beginning; I loved feeling so comfortable with you, sharing my full self, and giving you my trust."

I paused, debating asking my following question but deciding that I had to know the answer, "Did... did you cheat on me, David?"

He didn't say anything to this, confirming my worst fears.

I nodded. "Okay. I just have to say, what you have with this woman... whoever she is... I guarantee you it's just the honeymoon phase. Then, eventually you will leave her too. You'll never find what we had again, I can promise you that."

I stood up to leave, thankful that I never took my jacket off so I could make a quick exit.

"Jayna... I'm sorry," David muttered, almost too soft for me to hear it.

At first I was shattered, but now after hearing his crummy apology, I was boiling mad on top of it. "David, save it. Honestly, don't be sorry. I thought that you were going to propose tonight. I got all made up for you; to make you happy. I was ready to say yes and build a fucking life with you. But you know what? You did me a favor, because I would never want to commit my life to someone as cold and heartless as you anyway. I'll see myself out."

"Jayna, don't leave by yourself... it's not safe for you alone in Chicago. Let me..."

I once again cut him off, "David, please stop. We're done. It's over, and my safety is no longer any of your concern."

And mic-drop, my subconscious applauded me as I strutted out of the restaurant. Even though I was completely broken, I was proud of myself for saying what I needed to say, and not looking back.

However, my pride didn't make my walk home any less terrible. David was right, I wasn't an idiot; it definitely wasn't safe for girls to walk home alone in Chicago. But, tonight was the exception. I didn't have a choice.

I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket but refused to look. I knew it was either David trying make sure I got home okay, or Maddie and Mike asking me about my "big night."

It was big alright... just not the kind of big I had been hoping for. Either way, my life was different now and I didn't know how to cope.

I clutched tight to the unused pepper spray in my purse as I walked home, trying to contain my sobs as to not look like a vulnerable target. I was shivering and my feet were throbbing from my heels by the time I reached the familiar front door of my apartment building.

I had made it home, but I didn't know what to do next, feeling oddly out of place in my familiar surroundings. I pulled out the bottle of wine that I had opened before dinner, and took a large swig, not even bothering to pour it into a glass. I took the bottle with me into my room, and started making a pile of everything I had that was David's.

All pictures, gifts, sweatshirts, even the dress that I was wearing tonight had to go. I knew tomorrow when I got up I wouldn't want to see anything that reminded me of him. I took all the contents, threw it into a bin, and shoved it deep under my bed.

Giving myself a mental pat on the back, I pulled out my favorite onesie. It was fluffy and was cheetah print. I slipped it on and grabbed the duvet off of my bed before heading out into the living room. I felt like I just needed to wallow and soak in the events of the night. I pulled my side chair up to my large living room window, shut off the light, and sat down with my bottle of wine in hand.

Glancing down at my phone, I noticed that it was blowing up with texts and calls from Mike, Maddie, and even David. For a moment I considered calling Maddie, but I just didn't want to explain everything when I hadn't fully processed it myself.

My tears ran down my cheeks and I took another swig of wine. I probably should have gone to bed, or watched a movie, or really done anything but sit in the dark and chug wine on a work night— but I didn't. Instead, I curled into my chair, and stared out at the Chicago nightlife.

I loved staring out my window. It was a good place to think and I loved seeing the heavy traffic, tall buildings, and city lights all around me. It usually made me feel better, but tonight it didn't. Instead, it made me feel more lonely than I ever had.

Oh Chicago... I hope all you people down there are having a better night than I am.

It was this thought that I remember having before everything went fuzzy, and I must have fallen asleep.

                                                                                *********

I woke up to the bright sun hitting me right in the face. I blinked open one eye at a time, feeling confused as I regained consciousness.

My neck was stiff from sleeping in my armchair, and my head felt like my brain was about to pop out of my skull from the wine I'd consumed. I was about to wander to my bed to continue my slumber when I realized it wasn't Saturday... It was Friday, and I had work.

"SHIT!" I exclaimed as I realized my situation. I shoved my hands into the cracks of my armchair, frantically feeling around for my phone. When I finally succeeded in fishing it out of the crack, I immediately held down the button to power it on.

Figures why my alarm didn't go off. How could I have been so careless?

I ran to my bathroom to get ready as I waited for it to power up. When I finally stole a glance at the time, it read 9:45; I was supposed to be at work by 8:30.

"Ugh, fuck!" I yelled to nobody. There were also several text messages on my phone and 15 missed calls; 5 from Maddie, 3 from Mike, 2 from David, and 5 from my coworkers. This was not good.

I wish I could say that I was always on time and being late just this once wouldn't be a big deal... but that would be a lie.

Truthfully, I hated my job. I busted my ass in school to become a journalist, and currently I was just an assistant to a journalist. This was really just a better way of saying that I ran a lot of errands, grabbed a lot of coffee, scheduled appointments, and did a very minimal amount of actual writing. I just figured I'd take the job for the experience, and hopefully working for this company would open doors for me in the future. So, although I hated my job, I didn't want to lose it.

All that being said, having a job that was horrible and un-motivating made it very hard for me to want to show up every day, and I had been warned before about my punctuality. I knew being nearly 2 hours late today wouldn't be good for me, no matter the excuse. The only bright side was that I was so panicked about being late and rushing to get ready, that last night's events with David didn't cross my mind at all.

Luckily, my hair was already done from last night also, and since I passed out in the chair without doing my nightly routine, my makeup was relatively still intact. I quickly cleared my running makeup from under my eyes and slapped on a fresh layer to touch up my look. No matter how much makeup I put on though, my eyes remained puffy from the tears I shed last night. Knowing I wasn't going to be able to completely salvage my appearance, I sprinted to my closet, finding my usual black, pencil skirt and deep purple, button-up blouse. I threw on my black heels as I ordered my expensive Uber ride. There was no time to wait for the bus today.

My mind was frenzied the entire way to work. My head was still pounding with my hangover headache, I was freaking out about my incoming encounter with my boss, and lastly, David was working his way back into my mind. This could possibly go down as one of the worst mornings of my life and it was only 10:00.

I didn't even have my shit together while I was in the building, riding the elevator up to my floor.

Okay Jayna...Just tell your boss you had a family emergency. No, that you had diarrhea... yeah she'd believe that; nobody would use that as an excuse if it wasn't true. Although, that's kind of graphic. I'll go with food poisoning.

Just as I settled on a plan, the elevator opened onto my floor. I knew I couldn't waste any time talking to my coworkers despite the questions and concerned looks they were throwing my way as I walked down the hall.

Finally, I made my way to the glass doors leading to my boss's office. I hesitated only a moment before knocking on her door.

My boss immediately looked up from her computer. She was a terrifyingly beautiful woman, and she could be quite nasty if you weren't on her good side. Which, judging by the look on her face, I was not. She returned her attention back to her screen as she waved me in with a freshly manicured hand.

I barely managed to get the door open before she started speaking. "Well, Ms. Mitchell. Look who finally made it into work."

"Ms. Paxton, I am so sorry," was all I managed to say. I was going to mention the food poisoning but considered it to be an overshare if she didn't ask. I always provided too much detail when I was lying, and tended to babble when I was nervous.

"Well that's okay. Who died?" She asked, cocking a perfect eyebrow.

"Pardon?" I asked.

She finally peeled her eyes away from her screen to face me, stroking the locks of her blonde, sleek pony-tail. "Well, if you're this late for work I assume there had to be a tragedy in your family. Any other reason is inexcusable; which you should know as this isn't your first warning."

I swallowed hard as my throat suddenly felt dry, "I had food poisoning..." I tried to explain.

She cut me off, her tone sharp. "Oh please, Jayna. I know the look of a hangover when I see one. It's a shame too because you missed an important meeting this morning; one you could have learned a lot from."

Maybe it was the events of last night, combined with her snarky tone and the fact that I hated my job in the first place, but either way something in me just snapped after hearing her comment.

"Huh," I huffed a laugh, "well then that would be a first."

Ms. Paxton looked slightly taken aback before regaining her composure. "Excuse me?"

"I never learn anything. I took this job because I love journalism. I love to write things that matter and write material that people really want to read! I thought you were the best and that being your assistant, I would learn a lot; but, wanna know what I learned this far?"

There was a lingering silence between us.

"A big load of bull shit," I continued, "That's what I learned. I learned how you like your coffee, how you like your schedule, and even a bit about your personal life, but as far as journalism, you have taught me completely nothing."

"Jayna,  I'd watch your tone if I were you. You're treading on very thin ice right now," she warned.

I knew she was right... but all of my built up frustration was unleashing in this moment, and it was like I just couldn't stop myself. "Oh please, you know that I am a good assistant. I do everything for you; I really don't think you'll be able to find any better. I just feel like the least you could do for me in return is teach me something, anything, actually related to journalism!"

Just then her face contorted into an eerily calm smile, "You know what I'll do for you, Jayna? I'll let you go and learn somewhere else."

Uh-oh...

"Go clean out your desk. You're fired."