IV.

ALESSANDRA

“So how was your day today?” Mom asked me as soon as I put my glass back on the table. 

“Berrer…” I sighed. 

She chuckled, “It’s better, not berrer…” She rolled her eyes and giggled when I did the same. But there was a difference. She did while pronouncing my accent while I rolled my eyes because I was a bit annoyed by this. She was teasing me. 

“So, how did your day go on better?” I saw excitement in her eyes. 

“He behaved nicely and normally today. I noticed that today he was not numb and even talked to me.” I shrugged my shoulders, behaving like nothing affected me but to be honest, I was so happy today. I was happy because once again I was successful in my case. 

“Well, I believed in you from the very beginning. I knew that just like you take care of other patients, you will heal this one too.” She grinned and I could not help but fall flat on her smile. Her smile is too young and beautiful. I love it when the skin around her eyes crinkle when she smiles heartily. 

It is just wow!

“Thank you, mama!” I threw my arms around her and caught her in for a hug. She relaxed in my arms and I rested my head on her shoulder. 

“And… what you two did today?`` She broke the silence of two minutes between us. 

I kept in my same position. I let my head rest on her warm shoulder which gave me a kind of soothness. 

“Ah… we spent some time in the market. You know that there we can meet more and more people. We stayed at one place and ate food. My intention to take him there was that he should talk to some waiter. Because I wanted to see his way.” I told her, closing my eyes and remembering the moment. He really lived up to my expectations. He really behaved like a civilized person around. 

“So how did he do?” Her voice rang in my ear and her body vibrated as her sweet voice came out of her throat. The feeling is satisfying. Mother is really a miracle created by God. 

“He was really good with that waiter. For a moment I forgot that he was once a murderer. His way of talking is nice and calm. He talks with respect.” My eyebrows raised as I remembered how respectfully he answered the waiter. He even smiled at him and there my heart skipped a beat. I noticed that he has a dimple! 

“Wow… and?” She looked eager to know. 

“We even went on a walk together. There he talked to me. He told me what interests him and how he got them. His interests are interesting to me. He reads, sketches and even studies human psychology. I learnt that in the asylum, he studied psychology.” I told her and saw her brows rising in surprise. Just like me. My reaction was the same but inwardly. I did not react in front of him. He is really impressive but I do not want to show him that he impressed me with his good habits and interests. 

“Did he also want to become a psychiatrist?” She giggled. I also giggled, shaking my head. 

“No. When I asked him how he got interested in psychology, he said that he wanted to become a criminal lawyer. And in that, you know that we have to think like a murderer to catch the murderer, so he wanted to understand the human mind in the same way.” 

“Wow. Now I wonder why he became murder. This is bad.” She pouted slightly but she was unaware of the cuteness on her face. 

“Aww,” I reacted and pinched her cheek softly. “Don’t worry, mom, just three months more, and he’ll be freed with that.” I said and kissed her cheek. She smiled and nodded. 

By the way, I also want that whatever happened in his life, forgetting all those bad moments, he starts a better life. A life in which he does not even take the thought of killing a person in his mind. 

Killing or hitting is very bad. A fool is a person who thinks of killing. We are humans not animals. We have been given brains, due to which we can calm our anger by thinking. Some uses and some don’t. 

When we were walking, mistakenly I tripped on my high heel and was about to fall when he caught me by my waist and shoulders. He smirked when he caught me and said, “Be careful what happens around you, Ms Psychiatrist.” 

I just rolled my eyes. Today he taunted me a lot. Literally a lot! Today that person felt very different. People have always been saying that one should not judge a person in the first meeting. Whoever the great man has said, he has said it right. It is wrong to judge a human being in the first interaction. 

I also did not do well by judging Hades in the first meeting. The man is not bitter but funny. 

I sigh and close my eyes. I clutch the blanket around myself and inhale the scent. Wow, I love my strawberry scent. 

Soon, sleep engulfs me. But my dream tries to snatch my breath away. 

I feel a calloused touch on my stomach. It sends an electricity down my spine. Those rough fingertips glide up my stomach, making me inhale sharply. It is warm and comfortable. I like it. 

It slowly goes up and I inhale sharply. I unconsciously fist the sheet under me when the hand stops on my chest. Another current shoots through my spine when it presses against my right breast. 

My hold gets tighter and I curl my toes when the long finger swirls around my nipple and pinches it gently. It should not be this pleasurable. It feels really different. I want this more. 

My lips part as a small gasp leaves them. The hand moves up and its thumb presses against my collarbone. Once, twice and thrice. He clicks three times before pressing roughly against my collarbone. I gasp audibly but my eyes refuse to shoot open. It is painful as well as pleasurable at the same time. Pain should not be this pleasant. 

I then feel hot breath fanning my face. I feel them on my lips and I unconsciously inhale that air. It is fresh and addictive. I find myself enjoying that feeling. But to add to the frustration building inside me, the calloused hand goes to my cheek and caresses it. The gesture is soft through his rough hand. 

I lean against the touch but as soon as it goes away, a frown starts appearing on my forehead. The touch is now completely vanished and before the presence could fly away, I shoot open my eyes and see around myself. 

My chest heaves up with every breath I inhale and exhale. My eyes scan around me but only meet darkness. Nobody is here. 

And then I slap my forehead. Of course, nobody should be here. I was just dreaming. Yeah, it was a dream but it felt so real. It was as if the touch was still lingering on my skin. It still felt fresh and alive. 

I sigh and shake my head. My head drops as I look down. When I eye my stomach, I find myself touching my stomach. This is where I felt the touch for the first time. 

I caress my belly and close my eyes, remembering that touch. There is literally no comparison. That touch was rough but comfortable at the same time. Too much addictive as well as venomous. I cannot believe I dreamed something like that. That was so stupid of me. 

I shake my head at my stupid thinking and reach out to hold the jug. I fill my glass with some water and finish it with small sips. 

Once my throat is relieved, I put on the glass and lie down to sleep but then, my eyes fall on the terrace side of my room. I find my window doors opened. 

I frown when I remember that I closed them before going to bed. Then why is one of them still open? 

Debating with my memory, I go to close the window but I stop, feeling something suspicious again. I take a deep breath before going towards the terrace. I look around. There is darkness only. The moon is shining in the sky and suddenly, I hear a loud bark interrupting me. 

It is Sky, my neighbor’s bitch and her habit is to bark uselessly. 

How does she keep barking from morning to night without stopping?

I shake my head and go inside. I close the window and then slide the curtains carefully. I cannot help but think over and over again. I really closed the window.

Anyway, I shake my head along with the thoughts and crawl into my bed. I wrap the blanket around me and close my eyes before sleeping peacefully. I swear I am not going to see a type of sexy dream again. 

••

The next morning, I got ready and wore my formal attire. I took my brown pants with a turtle neck black crop top with a long brown coat. I comb my short hair and never forget to wear my pencil heels black ankle length boots. 

Oh I love them! 

Satisfied with my look, I move to leave after having my breakfast and kissing my mom on the cheek. She says goodbye to me and I wish back before leaving. 

On time, I reached my work and greeted Arabella. 

“Is he done with his shower?” I ask her to which she nods. 

“And wore something?” I slow down my voice and bite on my bottom lip when I remember his muscular body. His broad shoulders and those six packs. And especially my red face in embarrassment. 

“Yeah, he’s now solving a puzzle. You can go.” She grinned and I nodded before leaving. Well, I am thankful that she did not ask me anything regarding my question. It would be so embarrassing if I told her what happened yesterday. 

She would laugh so loudly that I just entered without his permission. Nobody expects this from a psychiatrist.  

“Hey.” I smile when I push the door open and peek inside as he allows me to enter. 

“Good morning, Ms Psychiatrist.” He smiled and I nodded before entering. 

“Good morning, Hades. Today, we’ll be discussing your thoughts with each other.” I tell him as soon as I take a seat in front of him. 

He nods. He puts the puzzle aside before giving me his full attention. I expected this. This man is indeed respectful. 

“Sure. But… you’ll answer my questions also.” He asked me politely. 

“What do you mean?” I literally did not understand. 

“A question in return of a question, how’s it?” He suggested and I gulped. What did he want to know from me? Well, I literally had nothing to hide, so I decided to play with him. 

“You’ll be honest then?” I raise my brow and look him in the eye. 

“Of course, even I hate lies.” He suppressed the word ‘hate’ whilst a smirk formed on his lips. 

I nod. “Hm, what do you think about your dad?” I started with the most important and simple question for him. I do not think he has to think deeply before answering about that. 

“A poor man.” He shrugged his shoulders, where my eyes searched for something else in his eyes. No doubt he hides his emotions like a master but maybe he does not know but I am not going to leave anything. 

“Tell me briefly.” I insist but politely. 

“He was a fool, who couldn’t even see what his wife wanted. He loved her like a fool and at last she betrayed him. And apart from this, I think he was a loser!” 

Gosh! Hades’ mind is full of bad things for his father. To love someone blindly is not a disease or a foolish thing. But his thinking is really sick. 

When he spoke, I noticed his eyes were emotionless. He really considered his father a useless person. 

I nod, briefly looking at his facial expressions which are still neutral. 

“How was his relationship with you?” I wanted to know why he thought his father was so useless. 

He smirked. “That worthless man loved his wife and me very much. He would lay down his life for us.” 

“Isn’t it good?” I furrowed. 

“The man who raises his hand in anger on his wife and shows love when his mood is good—no one is more foolish than him.” He rolled his eyes. “That anger killed his wife. He would defame her by taking off her clothes in front of me. Whenever he was in a good mood, he would show love to his wife, but the woman had already hated her husband.” My eyes widened when I heard him. I could not believe his father used to do such filthy things. Especially in front of him! He was a child at that time, for God’s sake! How could his father do it? 

“Really?” I asked carefully, even though I noticed that he was answering me honestly. 

“Yes.” He cocked his brow, while a smirk formed on his lips. “He was an alcoholic and that’s why Mrs Ezekiel decided to run away and Mr Ezekiel died on his own.” His eyes were still blank. I wondered how he was able to feel nothing for his parents! Even though they proved to be careless parents, he should be feeling something for them. But he was not feeling anything. Means, he was deeply disturbed. 

“Your mother would be freed if she would’ve left from there, but you stopped her, why, Hades?” I could not help but ask. I intentionally used the word ‘stopped’ instead of ‘killed’ because I did not want to offend him. It would be bad because here I am trying to solve his problem but not to increase his depression and anxiety. Calling him a killer would be something harsh and I do not want to treat him with harsh words. They do not show but they feel deeply through words. 

“Because she betrayed her husband. Don’t you know, it’s a sin? She could live alone, die alone, but she chose someone else.” 

I gaped. His answer was heartless. We are living in a modern world where a woman does not need her husband’s or father’s surname for her identity. She does not have to live with her husband and die with her husband. She is a free bird. She can do everything. If she was sick of her bastard husband, then finding a caring partner was her right. How could Hades give me a hateful answer towards his mother? Did he not see that his mother was suffering? Even though everything was happening in front of her eyes! 

“Didn’t you feel pity for her?”  I asked her, almost starting to hate this arrogant and heartless man. 

“Why would I when she didn’t bother to care about me?” And I was puzzled here. She did not care for him, right? 

“Didn’t she care for you?” 

“No. Mr Ezekiel used to beat us. I asked her to take me with her and her lover but she refused to do so. From that day, I started hating her and that’s why I didn’t let her escape.” He smirked satisfyingly and I could help but mutter out, “And what did you do?” 

I was carefully watching him when that evil glint flashed in his eyes and he answered. 

“Mr Ezekiel was searching for her. She was hidden in the bathtub. I told Mr Ezekiel about her location. He found her and then…” he smirked, while I gulped hard, waiting for the end. He continued nonetheless “he whipped her and took her uncountable times that night.” 

I did not even realize when a lone tear escaped my eyes but I hurriedly wiped it away. Even though the lady was selfish, she did not deserve this. His father was indeed a demon. 

“And how did you know about that?” 

“I heard her screams, Ms psychiatrist.” He winked at me, where I was a bit uncomfortable now. This is how his childhood turned worse. That is why he enjoyed killing people and listening to their horrific screams. He found pleasure in this all from the very beginning. 

I just nod in understanding. I am not going to judge anybody in front of him. Not even him. Well, judging him or his parents would be so low of me. Even though he did everything intentionally, it was a depressed, and a bullied kid inside him, who was seeking revenge from his parents. And I understand, even his father was mentally disturbed. 

“How did your father die?” 

“It was an accident.” He leaned backwards while shrugging his shoulders. He literally does not feel sorry for anything. I cannot believe his parents were literally nothing to him. But I do not blame him. By criticizing children, they become their own child’s enemies and here Hades was beaten along with criticizing. It is natural for him to hate himself and his parents. I am really sorry for him and for his parents. Whatever happened to Hades should not have happened. After all, what was a child’s fault? 

“He was about to catch Mrs Ezekiel and her lover, but mistakenly tripped on the stairs. Both of them did not consider it necessary to get him treated and let him die there. But both of them performed Mr Ezekiel’s last rites well.” 

“Oh…” I nodded once again. 

“And before you ask, I’m telling you, I wasn’t interested in saving Mr Ezekiel because at that time, after him, there was nobody to stop me from doing what I wanted.” He shrugged and my lips parted in surprise. How did he come to know that I wanted to know from him why he had not saved his father from death. 

“Because ordinary people like you care about human life. It is natural for you to have such questions.” He smirked and I quickly pressed my lips, not giving him a view of my cartoon type of surprised face. 

“You look cute like that.” He chuckled and I felt my cheeks burning now. God, he even flirts! 

I shake my head, not wanting to show him my glowing red cheeks and continue to ask, “So how do you describe your mother?” 

“Not my mother, first of all.” His demeanor changed all of a sudden. “And she was selfish, a betrayer, a cheater, and a liar.” He showed no emotion in his eyes. Not even hatred. 

“Has she never loved you?” I was hesitant to ask this but I managed not to stutter at this question. 

He squinted his eyes and then leaned closer by putting his elbows on the table. I watched him doing so and immediately leaned back as soon as he leaned forward. There is no way I am letting him intimidate me. There is something daunting in his aura. 

“I got her love till I was eight years old. Then everything changed.” He answered in a low voice and I gulped before nodding. 

I sighed and ready myself to ask more. 

“What do you think about this room?” 

“Weren’t they enough?” He laughed, leaning back, pointing at the questions. 

“You said you’ll answer every question.” I complained. 

“Fine.” He rolled his eyes while rolling out the word through his tongue. I did not want to notice but he looked ultra hot when he did that. “It’s a prison with facilities.” 

“How are they?” I pointed at the facilities he is receiving here. 

“Kinda good, kinda bad.” 

“How good and how bad?” 

“Good because they fear me, bad because they’re also cheaters. They are not true and faithful towards their work.” 

I nodded in understanding. He was talking about the staff. Nothing wrong with that. I have also seen many staff cheating here with their work. Here I have also seen people taking bribes. Sometimes psychiatrists even take bribes to meet here. Their appointment costs a little more than the actual price, but none of us like to speak against it. We allow it to go on as it is going on. But I am surprised that even after being imprisoned in a room, he knew everything. 

And if there is fear, then people like Hades, like to see fear for themselves in the eyes of others. 

Just great!

“What will you do when these months are over?” 

He smirked. “I will do what I desire to do.” 

I frowned as I did not get what he wanted to do. But then, only one thing came to my mind; his fantasies. 

“Good…” I nod. “Seeing your condition, it seems that you will pass.” I appreciate it, and he just nods. 

“How many are left?” He sighed. 

“Just a last one.” 

“Hm, go ahead.” 

“What do you think about me?” And I notice his lips curling into a smirk when he hears me. He looked at me and held my gaze with full confidence, where I could not gulp. 

Even though he was not doing anything, I was feeling my heart racing. He was able to judge many of the people around him and I wanted to know his opinion about me. If I find him telling me my drawbacks then I was sincerely going to change myself for him. I am a service provider and it is my work to modify myself according to the customer’s demand. 

“You’re ignorant and euphoric. I would like to compare you with a butterfly…” he smirked when he murmured the word ‘butterfly’. 

“Ignorant, how?” I pointed it out. 

“You ignore much of the realities.” He shrugged once again. Honestly, I did not mind what he said because I knew I was not ignorant!

“How euphoric?” 

“You laugh on senseless things.” I was feeling like laughing once again but I gulped back my laughing bubbles, which were dying to pop out. 

“You’re controlling yourself. Don’t do it, just laugh.” My cheeks burned as heat crawled up to my cheek. Fuck! I could not even hide anything carefully. 

I gulp hard and peer at him through my eyelashes, as I was looking down in embarrassment. When I found him already staring at him, I felt like someone had dropped something in my stomach. To ignore that feeling, I just shake myself mentally and ready myself before asking him the last point. 

“And why did you compare me with a butterfly?” I frowned when I myself tried to connect the strings but could not. 

“Soon, I’ll let you know—,”

“Why not now?” I interrupted him, not because I was excited to know, but anxious. 

“Just like that.” I rolled my eyes and he smirked. 

“Fine…” I sang out. 

He nodded. I got up and his brow cocked as if asking me -where?-

“I’ve to use the washroom.” He nodded but before I could step away, I heard him commanding, “It’s my turn to ask questions. Be ready.” 

I nodded monotonously because I had nothing to hide. And I do not think he is going to interrupt me in any matter. But the way he commanded, I felt a chill down my spine. It was indeed domineering.