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The Past Returning Pt. 1
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2024-10-29 19:42:56
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Three Little Birds The Past Returning Pt. 2
As he came through the door and around the couch to kneel in front of me I tried not to flinch away from him and further into Liz. I don't think I succeeded as I saw the small frown appear and vanish quickly from his brow.His movements, a bit slower than his original trajectory, he reached for my hand. I didn't pull it away upon contact but gripped his fingers like I never wanted him to let go. And I didn't despite my fears."Are you alright, mon bonheur?" He did look and sound...well, worried. I started to nod in the affirmative but quickly changed to a shake of the head that indicated the truth. I was far from alright. The hurt my sister inflicted upon me that day as I watched her close the door softly behind her, leaving me there to endure two more years of the abuse she ran away from, was much more than anything my parents ever did to me combined.
Three Little Birds The Past Returning Pt. 3
"Mattie, no, love. I mean yes, a name was in the book but it wasn't the one you'd always said. Completely different name. She changed it when she turned nineteen." At my look, he continued. "She was still there when I returned to the shop. I had Lilly cancel the day and she and I talked in the backroom. She wanted to. I swear, my love, I didn't know until you spoke to her just before you ran out. Please, Mattie, I wouldn't have kept something like that from you and I especially wouldn't have had you there at a time she would have been and without you knowing about it..." He was right and I knew it. I nodded. "Mattie." He waited until I looked up before speaking again. "Please believe me.""I do," I told him after a time. "I do believe you. You're not mad at me?""No, baby. I'm not mad at all." I knew he wasn't lying to me. I saw no anger within his body language, only h
Three Little Birds Point of View
July seventh:Mykel was smiling as he walked through the door to his tattoo parlor. He was surprised to see his next appointment so early, and before his smile could widen he heard Mattie gasp just under his breath. She had yet to notice him as she stood smiling. "Hi. I know I'm early so if you..." Her eyes shifted just slightly to the right as she noticed to whom she was face to face with. "Mattie bear?"Mykel felt Mattie's fist in his back, gripping onto his shirt as if for balance. The venomous tone as he spoke made the hairs on Mykel's neck stand on end. "You don't get to call me that anymore. That died when you left me in that fucking closet." Before he had a chance to respond to Mattie or even process the onslaught of information he'd just received from this short exchange, Mattie bolted. In his haste to chase after him, Mykel didn't realize the glass to the door slightly cracke
Three Little Birds Damage Control Pt. 1
It had been several hours and I was aware that Mykel was no longer in the room with us. I do not know when he slipped silently out, but I hadn't felt his presence in some time.Since Liz burst into the room and I grabbed hold of her for dear life, time had been spent alternately calming me down and Liz babbling about nothing softly against my ear. I didn't speak as she asked questions in the midst of her tellings. I knew she wasn't expecting an answer as she continued speaking as if I was every bit of the conversation as she. She ran her fingers through my hair and over my back and arms; every now and then running her thumb or knuckles across my cheeks, soaking up the tears that hastily caught gravity's power to slide down my face.As the shock of the day began to wear off, my mind began conjuring reasons and moving pictures playing out scenes of a final destruction betwee
Three Little Birds Damage Control Pt. 2
"Mattie..." his eyes closed and he took a deep breath. "What did you do?" I didn't answer him. I didn't meet his eyes. "Mattie, please answer me." There was no anger behind his tone, in his posture. I took a shaky breath but I didn't say a word. I couldn't. "Did..." he paused, bracing himself for the question he was about to ask and the answer he would receive in turn. "Mattie, did you, uh, did you cut yourself?" The grief and guilt that had begun to gather in my eyes spilled down my face and that was all the answer he needed. He nodded his head slightly, his hands tightly knotted together as he talked himself into remaining in control. He let out a held breath. It quivered upon its exodus. "How bad, Mattie?" He still didn't sound the least bit angry. Aside from that, I couldn't place how or what he was feeling."Not-not too bad," I said, my voice filled with every ounce of shame I felt.
Three Little Birds Truth of the Matter Pt. 1
"I what?" I frowned slightly at the accusation."You. Lied. To me." His voice had this time an edge to it that felt like a stab to the heart."The hell I did," I responded with an edge to my own tone. "I've never fucking lied to you and how dare you accuse me otherwise.""You told me you didn't do that. That you did it once but your sister stopped you before you could go too far." Tears fell unnoticed from his eyes. His tone changed with this lowly spoken sentence. Heart shattered and lost."Mykel...I wasn't trying to kill myself. That's what she stopped from happening that day. You never asked me and we've never discussed...this..." I gestured to my legs. "It isn't a habit, Mykel," I added lowly. "I don't know what caused me to do it. I just...it was too mu
Three Little Birds Truth of the Matter Pt. 2
I lay there next to him, our breathing finally returning to normal, with my arms wrapped securely around his chest, my head resting against his shoulder, close enough to his heart I could hear it beating. The thump thump thump both calmed me and swirled my thoughts, and I had no clue how to process what was going through my head.I concentrated on the feeling of Mykel's fingers as they glided through my hair, how his touch made me feel a plethora of emotions that I couldn't all define. Mykel sighed deeply, slowly allowing the breath to escape through his parted lips. I did not have to look at him to know his eyes were closed.I curled further into him, trying to, what seemed at the time, vainly anchor myself to his body. Sow my soul onto his so he could never leave me. "I love you," I told him, my chest tight, my eyes squeezed shut against any bub
Three Little Birds Truth of the Matter Pt. 3
After several spans of many heartbeats, I tried reaching for him, slowly and unsure, afraid of the rejection he ultimately delivered me until such time he had sufficiently calmed himself. He held up his hand in a blocking manner, keeping contact between us minimal before he slipped from the bed. "I need some air. I, uh...won't leave...I'll just be out back, okay?"I could only nod from my spot on the bed, the covers shielding the exposure of my body, as he threw on his shirt and pajama pants and vacated the room. I don't know how long I sat there on the bed silently begging him to return before finally I laid down and closed my eyes. Exhaustion got the better of me and my eyes didn't reopen until sometime later when the moon was high and a symphony of nighttime sounds drifted up through the window. Aside from the hour, I noticed first that I was alone, and the sheets next to me were cold. Mykel hadn't come back. Suddenl
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Three Little Birds I See You Pt. 2
I watched him take a deep drag off the marijuana and hold the hit, his eyes squinted against the smoke that rolled upward along his face. He exhaled and looked at me. He looked the slightest bit calmer. His eyes had dried, though the clouds were still present."I've been battling myself that this is a means to an end," he began hoarsely. "I mean I don't want it to be. I want to fight through this together like you said. Get through it together, like you said." He paused and flicked the ash into the ashtray between us. He rocked nervously; just slightly. He made a sound of frustration deep in his throat. "Hey," I set my hands along his things and he looked at me. "Easy. Take a breath. There's no rush here. Gather your thoughts and when you're ready speak." Halfthe blunt was gone before he started speaking. I left one of my hands against
Three Little Birds I See You Pt. 1
"Mykel." He turned back to her with a desperate look in his eyes. "Have you talked to him?"He shook his head. "I asked once if he was okay. He said he was. He wasn't flippant about it or anything...what if it's just in my head?""Hey, there you two are." Mattie's voice came from behind them. Mykel quickly schooled his features as Mattie came up behind them, his hand sliding up Mykel's shoulder. Mykel closed his eyes. "Everything alright?""When you asked that I knew you knew the answer. I could see it on your face," Rian told me. "So as someone who loves you both, this is my advice. I know you love him, Mattie. Let your guard down. Let him back in completely. He needs you as much as you need him and it's time to stop this." I took a shuddering breath but didn't interrupt her. Her tone was soft, caring, and full of worr
Three Little Birds Rian Pt. 2
I stood, set the baby in the playpen, and followed him onto the front porch, sitting with him on the steps leading to the house. "Please don't tell my mom this, okay? Can this stay between you and me?""You can tell me anything, Mattie. I want you to be able to trust me." He smiled faintly."I know where I come from. I know what was done to her, and how and why she got pregnant with me." He looked at me, his eyes older than they should have been. Wiser with second-hand knowledge. "I overheard her talking about it with Dad once. I had gone to the bathroom and heard them through the crack in the door."They always have the door cracked open. In case one of us needs them. Anyway, I guess she had a nightmare about it. I could hear her crying as she told him.""She doe
Three Little Birds Rian Pt. 1
Since going to Mattie's birthday a few months previous, my sister and I remained in almost daily contact. I couldn't be happier about the relationship she and I were building. I had confided in her about my fears after Mykel's...stunt...and many times did she pick me up and take me to her place to calm me down. We were as close as we could be at the moment, and I was surprised at the quick acceleration of our relationship. I was sitting on her couch holding Cory, who was chewing on the tiger's eye stone that was fastened to a leather string that hung around my neck. I smiled at her as her bright blue eyes met mine. She smiled around the necklace.Mattie andDaniel were upstairs playing video games. I smiled a bit more at the sounds of the children laughing. "So how are you and Mykel doing?" Rian asked me as she handed me a fresh glass of iced tea."Not quite as tense as we have b
Three Little Birds Whisper on a Scream Pt. 2
"I never stopped loving you, Mykel," I told him as my throat tightened."Then what? I mean..." He sighed, his eyes pleading with me. "It hurts, Mattie." I saw his eyes begin to shine and he turned and continued walking, his head down. "I'm not going to try to make excuses for myself. What I did was stupid and it hurt you. And Liz. I just...wish you understood." He looked at me, his eyes dry again with a dullness to them I had never before seen present there."I do to some extent. But you did it in front of me. You had enough force where you could have died and..." I stopped walking and pulled my hand free. I felt his reluctance to let go. He looked at me as if he thought I'd dematerialize right before his eyes. I crossed my arms over my chest, drawing myself in tighter. "I feel betrayed, Mykel. I feel like..." I stopped as my lungs constricted behind my rib cage and tri
Three Little Birds Whisper on a Scream Pt. 1
Slowly I lowered myself onto the bed, buried my face in his pillow, and, surrounded by his scent, screamed. I heard the sounds of footsteps on the stairs sometime later, but I knew they didn't belong to Mykel. They were too light. I felt Liz's hand on my shoulder and slide around my back as she sat next to me."Baby, why don't you just talk to him?" My cries came harder, my face still obfuscated by the pillow. Liz's fingers found their way into my hair. She said nothing more as she waited for me to calm down. "Mattie." Her voice was so soft as she spoke to me. So full of patience and worry it broke my heart further."I can't, Liz, I can't," I wailed, my words muffled. "I just can't.""Why not, my love?" I couldn't answer her as my cries increased and she pulled me into her. I latched my arms around her, holding on as I
Three Little Birds Admonish and Forgive Pt. 2
He shook his head slightly. "I tried talking to him about it...about how he feels...and he won't."Liz lit the forgotten blunt. "Of course he won't. Why would he right now? Beyond what he said as reasoning for not saying anything, he needs to process it all and come to terms with how he feels before he can talk to you about it." She paused. "You think he's the only one that's pissed off about this, Mykel? Cause, I gotta tell ya...I'm fucking livid. And I'm trying to be supportive of you and not make you feel worse about this whole shit hole of a situation, but...I don't even know anymore. I don't know what to think or what to say or how to say it. Or make things worse by saying anything. And I'm sure that's how he feels also. Mykel?""Yeah?""Don't you ever fucking do that again."
Three Little Birds Admonish and Forgive Pt. 1
I took a shuddering breath. "Is this really a conversation you want to get into right now, Mykel?"He looked at me. "If not now, when? This isn't a conversation that you'll willingly bring up later."I looked at him for a moment, my expression softening as I looked at him. "If I need to. But right now, emotions are high. Shit is still very raw...I would rather put it off until we've both had time to process so this doesn't turn into a fight. I don't want to fight with you. Do I want to talk about this? Yes. I do. Because it really fucking hurt. Do I want to fight and scream and argue? No, I'd rather not. So if not talking about it now and having to balls up to mention it later means that that won't happen tonight...that-that we won't fight because we're both very clearly upset...then, fine, I can do that."He scoffed at
Three Little Birds All Through the Night Pt. 3
She glanced up as Mykel took a seat next to her. She smiled sadly at him. I could see she was attempting to keep her composure. I knew the fear in her heart was one she hadn't quite experienced for her brother in several years. "Hey, Mykee." He smiled at her, but the smile was worn with an anxious pulling of his brows. "You want some coffee?" He nodded not speaking. I could see his throat bobbing as he swallowed impulsively, trying to keep himself from falling apart, by the look in her eyes. She set the mug down in front of him, wrapped her arms around his shoulders, setting her face in the crook of his neck. "I love you, Mykel. Don't you ever fucking do that to me again, or I'll kill you myself." He half-smiled and nodded in a barely perceptible way, his eyes slipping closed momentarily. She kissed his cheek before disengaging from his shoulders and taking her seat.To Mykel she said, "I won't be gone too long today. I
