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Chapter 36 - First time
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2021-10-06 19:44:11“Good morning.” Golden says to me when I walk into the kitchen. She looks cheerful for someone who didn’t get much sleep. She’s sitting at the island having her breakfast, I didn’t hear her get out of bed this morning.
“Moring.” I say sitting on one of the stools.
“I ordered breakfast on Uber eats.” She says pointing to the spread on the counter opposite the island. I stand up and look it over. I am starving and the food is still warm. I make myself a plate of food sit back down.
“I would ask you how you slept but.” I say and she laughs.
“I had the best of my life.” She says making a face and I laugh. My mind drifts to what she said to me last night. My mind is still blown. That was a lot of information and I don’t know what to do with it.
“We should go to the beach after this.” I say clearing my mind of thoughts about her virginity. I don&rs
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The boy I should not love Chapter 37 - Adventure
“Are you driving?” I ask Leo as we walk to our assigned UTV.“No, you are.” He says helping me get into the driver’s side.“Cool” I say feeling excited about driving around the sand on the beach. Leo walks around gets in the passenger side. We get ready to leave; we’re the last UTV on the line that are parked and ready to go. I wait for the ones in front of me to load up and drive away. They start moving after a short while and then I set off when it’s my turn. The drive starts slowly at first but eventually we pick up speed.I put my foot down on the accelerator to keep up with the group. I concentrate on navigating the trail, feeling alive. I love this; I’ve wanted to do this for a long time. I’m so glad Zach thought to book this for. I almost went crazy with excitement when he told us we were going to be doing this when we got back to the house this morning.When
Last Updated : 2021-10-07The boy I should not love Chapter 38 - Buzz kill
11 pmI walk out to the apartment balcony leaving the others in the living room. I want to get one last view of this beautiful ocean at night. The cool breeze touches my skin leaving goose bumps, I really love it here. I take out my phone and take a picture, I want to show it to my parents when I get home. Maybe we can come back some time as a family. I know my mother would love it here, she loves the beach like I do.A text comes in as I take the picture.AmaraHer name is appears on the screen and disappears. My heart sinks at the thought of what she could have sent me in that text. We haven’t spoken in such a long time that it’s hard to believe we were best friends at one point. We went from spending so much time together to not even looking at each other.We’re complete strangers now. I open the text and see a screen shot of a picture from Zach’s instagram. It’s one
Last Updated : 2021-10-08The boy I should not love Chapter 39 - Face your fears
“Did I mention I’m terrified of heights?” I say to Leo who is hanging next to me in a harness next to me. Zach had the awesome idea to go parasailing. And let’s just say I’m not excited at all, as a matter of fact I’m terrified. The idea of hanging in the air, the ocean below us and with a boat pulling us at high speed feels like the fasted way to die.Zach was my favorite person this whole weekend but right now he’s number one my got to kill list. When he declared we have one last activity to do today before we have to head back home I didn’t imagine he meant this. He did so well with the UTV tour but this is a miss.“ You did mention it a few times.” Leo says looking at me. He convinced me to do this. I was going to sit this one out but he gave me some speech about avoiding regret and facing my fears; I know now that it was a loud of crap. I can’t believe I fell for it, I’m regretting saying yes.
Last Updated : 2021-10-09The boy I should not love Chapter 40 - Meet the parents
We get home around 5 pm. We dropped Lana off first and then now Zach and Leo are dropping me off. Leo pulls into my drive way and parks the car. The front door opens and my father walks out. My mother follows shortly after. We get out of the car and greet them, Leo shakes my father’s hand and then he moves to the boot to take out my bags. Zach goes with him and they help each other out.“How was the trip?” My dad asks me but he’s looking at Leo. They walk back to where I’m standing with my parents. I’m nervous about Leo meeting my parents“It was incredible.” Zach and Leo say at the same time.“Good. Well we’re happy you got home safely.” Dad says looking at me but that doesn’t last, his eyes move back to Leo. Why is he acting like this? He usually doesn’t give this much attention to boys I bring around the house. He didn’t give Zach a second the first, second
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“How are you this glorious Monday morning?” Zach says walking toward me in the school corridor. He looks so happy, I know he’s an all round happy guy but he looks particularly joyful today. Or maybe I’m the happy one and I’m seeing happiness where there isn’t. I smile at him to show him that I’m having a pretty good morning too.“I’m doing well this morning thank you for asking.” I say and we start walking to homeroom.“Where’s Leo?” He asks noticing he didn’t come in with me this morning.“He texted me...” I start to explain to him when Amara comes walking our way full speed.“Well if it isn’t the fake little Miss Golden and her minion… uhm… what’s your name again?” She says standing in our way. The whole corridor falls silent and they watch what is about to go down. Some of them take out their phones and start to re
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I sit at the kitchen island staring at her. I can’t believe she’s here, I look at her trying to figure out if I’m dreaming. Or if I’m dead and this is my hell; all of my demons are haunting me. “I know this is a lot but I was hoping that we could talk. You know try to figure out a way forward.” My mother says moving to sit next on the chair next to me. I look at her my heart in my throat; I wasn’t prepared to see her.I guess I had made peace with the fact that I would never see her again. I had convinced myself that she was dead. How could I think otherwise? She left her three children to fend for themselves without any thought. In my mind no sane, normal and human being would do that their children. She left us alone, three kids under the age of 18. We should be dead; it’s a miracle that we’re all still breathing.“How did you find us?” I ask when my brain starts working
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Zach“Where is my brother?” Mina asks looking at me her little face wrinkled with worry. I can’t get over the fear I saw on her face when I showed up to pick them up instead of their brother. She looked like she saw a ghost, my heart broke for her but I’m all she’s got today. When Jon saw her face he started crying, I had to think quickly and calm him down.Mina did a good job of helping me calm him down. She switched so quickly from being worried to comforting Jon. She’s so young but she has such grown up reactions to stressful situations. I get that it’s because of how they are growing up but it’s unfair that they have to go through this. Every kid deserves to be just that, a child.I hate that Leo is hurting this much. I didn’t tell Golden but I saw Leo’s mom leave his apartment when we got there earlier. I recognized her from when we were young, it took everything I not to fre
Last Updated : 2021-10-13The boy I should not love Chapter 44 - What now?
“Why didn’t you come to pick us up at school today?” Mina asks me when I take her out of the bath tub and dry her off. I do the same with Jon and then look at her, She looks so worried and concerned. She’s too young to have that look on her face.“I… had to do something very urgent, so I asked Zach to pick you up instead.” I say and she pouts at me.“I thought something bad happened to you.” She says her eyes welling up a little. I look at her and my heart breaks. She must have been so worried when I didn’t show up. I sometimes forget how much they war used to our routine. One change like today and that fragile safety I created for them is shuttered.“I’m sorry you got scared, I really wanted to come and pick you up but I couldn’t make it. It won’t happen again.” I say and watch tears fall down her face. Seeing her cry makes me sad because I didn’t mean t
Last Updated : 2021-10-13
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The boy I should not love Chapter 65 - A love that prevails
21 months later Leo is coming to see me today. I haven’t seen him in over a year. We’ve becoming strangers again and I hate it. I moved to Cape Town and life changed. He stayed behind to make sure that everything is set up with Mina and Jon. He had to make sure that they are settled in boarding school. And he had to make sure that he packs up their apartment before he had to go to military school. At the same time I had moved to a new city and when school started I got hit with a reality check. There was no way I could balance school and a relationship. Everything got so overwhelming for me. I got hit with the harsh reality that I wasn’t in high school anymore. It took a moment for me to adjust to the move and the workload. I had to switch off from my life at home and concentrate on my studies. And finally when we both got on our feet, life was so different. We drifted apart, between the distance and adulting it was impossible for us to find our way back. I wanted to fix the gap a
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The boy I should not love Chapter 63 - Nature
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The boy I should not love Chapter 62 - Crossing a line
“Have fun on your trip.” Mr. Brown says to me when I get out of the staff room. I have my overnight bag on one shoulder, my work bag on the other and a bouquet of roses. I want to surprise Golden with flowers when we pick her up.“Thank you. I guess I’ll see you after my exams.” I say smiling at him. He looks so sad right now. He looks like he’s dropping his son off at university. He always gets like this at the end of the year. It’s the longest time we spend apart. I don’t come into work during exam time because I want to focus on doing well. And the only way I can do that is if I don’t have to work.This year is especially important because I’m writing my final exam. I need to be laser focused. I want to pass with distinctions so that my placement in the army is smoother. I want to be one of the top picks. A lot is riding on this.“Yeah, I’ll see you then. Good luck with your exams, don&rs
The boy I should not love Chapter 61- Date night
“Thank you for taking me out tonight.” Golden says smiling at me; she looks so good tonight I can’t stop staring at her. My eyes keep going from her smile, to her eyes and then down to her boobs. I’m grateful we have this table between us because I don’t think I would have been able to keeps my hands to myself.I keep catching myself staring at one or the other. It’s so hard for me to keep up with the conversation because my brain keeps creating images of us that are not appropriate. Well they are not inappropriate really but they are forbidden.I promised myself I would keep my hands off of her but she’s making it impossible in that dress. She looks incredible.“It’s my absolute pleasure.” I say and she smiles that sexy smile again. She takes a sip of her water radiating sexual tension and passion.“You’re taking all the pleasure don’t I get
The boy I should not love Chapter 60 - Content
“Please come in.” Golden’s father says opening the door for me to get in. We shake hands as I walk in. He smiles welcoming me in. this is the first time I’ve come to Golden’s house in official girlfriend capacity.So I’m nervous, usually I have Mina and Jon as my buffer but today I am riding solo.“Thank you, how are you?” I ask him when he closes the door behind us.“I’m well and how are you?” He asks smiling at me. We walk to the living area and sit on the sofa.“I’m good.” I say smiling at him too. He sits back comfortably looking at me closely.“Golden will be down soon.” He says after a moment of silence. The mood is different, it’s not awkward but it’s so much more silent I guess.“No problem.” I say willing myself to be calmer. I don’t want to bring weird energy into the air. This is Golden’s father not a
The boy I should not love Chapter 59 - Green
“Do you want to talk about it?” Zach asks looking at me cautiously. I look from him to Leo who is also looking at me with concern. Its lunch break and we’re sitting on my picnic blanket on the soccer field. Our favorite spot, we come here all the time now. I know we’re going to miss these chilled out sessions when school is over.I mistakenly texted Leo about my run in with Cole and he told Zach of ‘course and now the two of them are concerned that I have suppressed feeling about my ex screaming at me in public. I want to put it behind me, move on with my life. But they think it’s good for me to talk about.I don’t want to for two reasons, the first being Leo and I are together and I hate talking about my ex with him. And two, I’m over all of it.“I’m worried you might have an outburst if you don’t let your feelings out.” Le says and I roll my eyes at him. He laughs when he sees me do it.
The boy I should not love Chapter 58 - Return
3 months into Leo and Golden’s relationshipI stand sitting a few feet my fro car as it’s being washed. I’ve been neglecting it for so long, I had to get it cleaned before the week starts again.My mind drifts to last few weeks I spent with Leo. We finally got into the groove of our relationship. We figured out our boundaries, I took my mother’s advice and talked to him about setting them. I know how far we can take everything and I’ve been having fun discovering what I like with him.I smile thinking about the intimate moments we’ve had. We still haven’t gone all the way yet. I still want to so bad but I’m glad one of us had the sense to wait. We’ve had a chance to get to know each other more without the drama.I’m lucky I’m dealing with Leo; he’s so much more mature than I am. He takes his time to so things and he doesn’t make bi
The boy I should not love Chapter 57 - Heart to Heart
“Hi, honey.” My mother says as I walk through the door. She’s looking at me with a strange look on her face. I smile at her and she smiles too but she’s still staring at me. She’s looking at me like I’m some stranger or like I’m different. I stop for a moment looking at her. “Hi.” I say walking to the living room where she’s sitting comfortably under a blanket. The house so much warmer than the outside, the weather hasn’t improved since this morning. In fact it’s gotten worse throughout the day; winter is really here. I sit next to her feeling warm and happy; despite the weather outside. I’m still feeling god about what happened with Leo this afternoon.My body feels relaxed and supple. I’ve never had this feeling of bliss before. It feels like I would have the best sleep of my life if I fell asleep right now. I’m still aware of my body and ev
