The Variable Life of Sam

For one, I don't know what I was thinking when I decided to write this. I guess it was out of boredom, those kind of boredom that can make you count the number of passers-by wearing blue tops(which I did until I got tired).These events, I'm about to write, took place exactly 300B.C, during the reign of Empe...just kidding, it took place three months ago.So, it was about me going somewhere, eem..Lekki Conser...oh, sorry, where are my manners?(sips cof--CapriSonne™️, feeling all "professional")??????????????Staring at my reflection in the mirror, my overactive imagination kicked off its starting gear.Mr Jones lets out a wry smile as he pulled my sad cheeks twice."Smile, my boy. Don't be sad. This is the last day of school for this term. You ain't gonna be bullied again

Courtesy of my gracious heart, I won't like to bore you guys to death with the detailed description of how the last morning assembly for the term went. I know curious fellows that don't mind the saying, "Curiosity kills the cat" will be asking how boring the morning assembly was and what made it boring. For their sake, I will grace thee with few cups of water from the ocean of boredom."It's with immeasurable indulgence that I desire to welcome to the "dies ultima" of school for this term. I can conspicuously notice the glistening merry visages of you all and with absolute gratitude, we venerate God Almighty for his altruistic provision of life inter alia to which we tentatively..."I almost slept off for a moment there. I can't believe I have bored myself with this long talk, I guess it's "readers first". Such are "all in a day's job" for Mr. Okon, our small stature principal who derives joy from the attention he receives from students as

"Honey bunny, hope you've packed in, a toothbrush,you don't want to be using chewing sticks, do you?", Mom asked with all concern, as she was packing in snacks in one of my bags."Yeah, mom...did that like last week, remember?", I looked up and at that instant, she had the same concerned look, Mary, Sheldon's mom from the "Young Sheldon" series would have some times."What of mosquito net, would you be taking that, you know mosquitoes can be very...""Moommm", I grumbled, giving her the "I'm fine" look"it's alright, my baby", she smiled wryly, the smile itself was radiating worry.Mmasi came down from her room in her pyjamas, leaned against the door post of my room."Mom, Dubem is leaving today, right?""Yes, my dear. Will you like to accompany him to school?", mom asked, zipping up the bag she was packing stuffs in, before."Yeah, of course....on the day pigs will fly", she bluntly replied as she turned sluggishly towards the bathroom."...and probably become the George of the Jungle

A SHORT NOTE ON THE TITLE'S MEANINGSome might be confused on what the title means. it's a song title from a Fiji Nigerian musician, Obesere. On the completion of the warning in the song's lyrics, it says "Egungun, be careful, na express you dey go". This simply warns Egungun, the persona(a Yoruba masquerade) in the song to be careful that he's going on an expressway. I guess you can be pretty much figure out the proverbial meaning yourself?ENJOY!!??????????????Dingggg!!!!My heart took on his heels until the arteries and capillaries, he was connected drew him back."What kind of alarm is this!?", I asked furiously to no one in particular, holding my chest as my heart was still pounding. Others in my room woke up too, well...less g

*Chyking* is a slang for wooing a lady ??????????????After the weekend, the next thing that came up on Monday was the Orientation, where bunch of people with microphones churn out objectives, acknowledgements, dos and don'ts, blah blah blah. The upshot, it's where Boredom hugs people and signs his sleep signature as an autograph on their faces.Looking at us from the top of the school's mega auditorium where we all were sitted, we looked like an army of insects marching to conquer a cube of sugar before the owner of the house sweeps it away.The "good boys and girls" came with pen and jotter to note down things, while some boys were looking for where the pretty girls were sitting.The whole place was up in a cacophony that I could barely hear my thoughts, a very bad place to