No.9

POV Calvin.

One thing is for sure, I certainly did not expect to end my evening like this. Penelope arrived a few hours ago, I tried, really tried to be indifferent. I tried to bury everything I felt for her deep inside, but she told me about her past, the loss of her fiancé and her baby, and seeing her cry I finally broke down. 

I already knew that she had lost her fiancé but I didn't know how. And what I didn't know was that she had lost her baby as well, I can't even imagine how horrible it must have been for her. She pushed me away because she is afraid to love and lose someone again. Life was really unfair to her and she was forced to put up a wall to protect herself as best she could. 

However, I still can't believe that it was me, on that couch holding her and kissing her breathless, when her lips touched mine, and her tongue entered my mouth, I could hardly hold myself back from carrying her to the table and doing what I've dreamed of doing with her since the first day I saw her. I return her kiss with the same intensity, it's brutal, almost bestial. My lips tease hers.

 I slow the pace of the kiss and kiss her slower and slower. She pushes a sigh of frustration. But it is that it is pressed my tigress. I lay her down on the sofa and I continue to kiss her, I pass languidly the point of my tongue on her lips, to move her a little. She passes her legs around my waist, and pulls me by the hair. I love it. She runs her hands under my shirt and tries to pull it up. My hands gently move up her thighs and she moans into my mouth. Damn! It's perfect, everything I've always dreamed of, I can't wait to bury myself in her and finally make her mine. Suddenly, a doubt sprouts in my head. Is she really ready to live something with me? 

 

"Wait..." I murmured. 

She continues to kiss me without paying attention to what I say. 

"Penelope wait. " I say as I remove her arms from around my neck. 

"What's wrong? "She murmured, letting out a frustrated sigh. 

"We're going to watch a movie! "I say as I get up to get a movie from the shelf. 

She gets up from the couch in dismay. She doesn't know what to say, turning her head again and again between the television and me.

"What?" She gets angry. 

"You want a good old Titanic or maybe a newer movie. "

 She gets up from the couch and glares at me. 

"You can't be serious right now can you? " 

"Well, I am! Are you in charge of the popcorn?" I say as seriously as I can with my hands resting on my chest. 

"But... I don't feel like watching a movie right now really not. " 

Elld walks towards me with a languid step, smiling provocatively. Fucking Penelope you are not helping me at all.  My inner wolf also keeps snarling inside me, I don't know by what miracle it hasn't overpowered me yet, it's so angry, it's not helping me either. 

"What do you want then? Just to sleep with me is that it? "

I want her to get it out of her mouth, to make it clear that I am what she needs. Me and only me. I walk towards her, plant myself just a few feet away from her. The hands in the back pockets of my jeans. She raises the head to look at me and bites her lip, I swallow with difficulty my saliva. However, I hold on.  

"What are you in the mood for Penelope? "

I whisper. 

"I... I... You're doing this to punish me, right? "She finally blurted out.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Penelope. "

"Oh yes you do! You want to punish me. "She said, pounding my chest with blows. 

It is she who is likely to be hurt, not me. 

"Penelope stop," I said, holding her wrists. I won't touch you until you tell me you want me, that you want me. I don't want to just be your compensation package. " 

"But you know that..."

"I need to hear you say it. I feel like you're not ready to move on. " 

She violently removes her hands from mine. 

"You stupid..."

She grabs a pillow from behind her and throws it at me. 

"I can't believe you want to make me tell you things you already know. " 

"I'm doing it for you too, I wouldn't want to wake up one morning and have you look at me and say you're not sure how you feel about me. Because I'm planning to go a long way with you. You may have accepted the fact that you like me, but you're not ready to be with someone else yet. I don't want to wake up tomorrow and hear you say that it was a big mistake and that you're sorry, only to see you run out of here. "

 She looks at me dumbfounded, not knowing what else to say. She looks at me for a few more seconds, then finally picks up her car keys from the table and leaves.

 The door closes with a bang. It was a risky bet I know, but she had to know that I'm not just passing through her life. I want her in mine and I want it to be reciprocal. She's not ready to move on yet and I don't want to force her to, things have to come on their own. I go to the kitchen and put the popcorn in the oven with lots of butter. Well! Looks like I'll be watching this movie by myself after all. 

I sit down in front of my TV, juice and bowl of popcorn in hand and watch a good Fast and Furious, the last thing I need right now is some cheesy bullshit. After thirty minutes of trying to focus on the movie, I forfeit. This sucks! I'm not interested in the movie at all. I can't stop thinking about her, I even get jealous of a dead guy. It's completely morbid. I would have gone to see Mich but from what I saw out there, he must be with Annie. So I swallow my frustration and go to bed. 

The next morning, I visit the pack. We have to take care of the workshop, we operate independently, we are good with wood so we sell some carvings and get a lot of special orders.

 I came up with the idea of a workshop not long ago and I'm happy to see how it has grown, we sell them for quite a bit of money. The work that is done is impeccable, besides I am a good carpenter myself. This money is used for the well-being of the whole pack. I go to my workshop and get to work. I haven't worked for a long time. But I need to clear my head. I remove the tarp on a wooden chair that I had started since. Simon and I were working on it.

 When he died, I didn't have the strength to finish it. It was too hard. He was going to give it to Sacha, she had seen it on TV and wanted the same one, I'm not sure it's her age anymore, five years have passed already. In the worst case, we can always sell it. I put on my headphones and then I start sanding the wood, a rather difficult and time consuming task. I work so much that I don't realize how much time passes. 

Mich comes to pick me up a few hours later. He gestures at me from the doorway. I take off my headphones and look up at him. 

"Hey man! Do you know what time it is?"

I look at my watch and my eyes widen. 

"Shit, I didn't realize that. "

"Yeah you've been working all day. It's five o'clock! It's been a long time since we've seen you work like this. " 

"Yeah. " I say as I put down the brushes with which I was putting the varnish on the wood. 

Michael comes up behind me and looks at the chair. 

"Is this the one you were working on with Simon?"

I answer yes with my head.

"It's beautiful, the detail in the wood, all those flowers. It's really beautiful, Cora will love it. " 

"He was planning to give it to Sasha, a high chair so she could sit at the table with them. But she's grown up now I really doubt she'll still want it. "

"Whether she wants it or not this chair is really beautiful! Maybe one day Cora will remarry and use it for her children. " He said, shrugging his shoulders.

"Yeah, well if she's willing to remarry one day, the way I see it, Cora probably has no desire to remarry. " 

He looks me up and down without saying anything. 

"You better go take a shower. " 

I look at my condition, I'm covered in shavings and on top of that, my pants and shirt are soaked with nail polish not to mention sweat in short, I'm certainly not a good looker.

"Yeah you're right, I'm going. "

I leave the workshop and turn back to my house. I head for the bedroom, freeze in front of the door and look around, no one. However, a familiar scent fills my nostrils, its smell a mixture between cinnamon and vanilla, what is its smell doing in my room? I also smelled it in the living room

I undress and enter the bathroom. I let the cold water jet run over my skin and I run my hand through my hair, I close my eyes for a moment and I clear my mind. Hands gently rest on my back, I don't need to turn around to know it's her. She traces the lines of my back with her fingers, so I turn to face her.

 She is naked, I felt it when she hugged me, she looks at me as if I were the most beautiful thing, she has ever seen in her life. I am suddenly embarrassed. She places her fingers on my lips and follows the outline of them while looking at them like one looks at a delicious delicacy. 

"Yesterday you asked me what I wanted. "

I don't answer anything and just watch her every move, observe her every reaction. 

"You Calvin. "

She moves closer to me, stands on her tiptoes and whispers in my ear. 

"I want you, I want you. "