Chapter Twenty Nine

Emily's POV 

Fayne's look was aggravated and angry which made me stare at him with raised brows. I'd never seen him this unsettled. It made me wonder if there was more underneath the surface.

“The king wants you to give him an explanation.” Liam said to Fayne. But then Fayne's wandering eyes caught mine.

I cleared my throat nervously and walked over.

“Here are the stuffs you requested.”

I placed the pieces of papers and ink on the desk.

Liam stood on his feet and bowed to Fayne. “Sir, I'll get going now.”

Fayne said nothing and watched Liam leave.

I looked at Fayne and hesitated. Should I really be saying something to Liam right now?

“Are you okay?” 

I ended up asking, then I realized that he must see that as a stupid question. He was obviously not doing well. I was about to change the direction of the conversation but Fayne looked at me with a gentle smile.

“I’m fine.”

I was taken aback by Fayne's smile.

“What's wrong with you?” I looked at him hesitantly. I'd rarely seen him smile.

“Liam just left, will you be okay? You haven't written your response to the letters yet.” I said.

“It's okay, I have my way.” Fayne responded. His words set my mind at ease. I sat on the chair and watched Fayne sit back down. He grinded ink and started to write on the piece of papers. Fayne's calligraphy was intricate and every part of it seemed so beautiful.

As soon as Fayne was done writing on the pages, he folded them and turned to me.

“Take a walk with me.”

“Sure.” I responded.

We walked to the woods and Fayne stopped suddenly. I halted and turned to him.

“Fayne, what are we doing here? It's getting a bit late…”

“Emily, what's your desire for life?”

I swallowed nervously. “I never really had the effrontery to desire a lot for life but if I'm to tell you the truth, it would be… love. I want to find love in this life.”

Fayne laughed. “That is too naive of you, Emily.”

I turned to Fayne, feeling embarrassed.

“What?”

My cheeks were flushed.

“Don't you think of love as the solution to your problems. They do nothing but make you weaker. In this world, if you're to be strong you need to want more of it.”

“So what if I don't want to be strong?” I asked.

“You die.” Fayne said.

Goosebumps covered my skin as I looked at Fayne. I couldn't help but feel as though he was mocking me.

“Emily, how long do you intend to stay by my side? I clothed you and fed you enough, it's time for you to leave.”

A tear rolled down my cheek and I angrily wiped it away. “Are you pushing me away, Fayne?” I asked.

“In the end, we have to go back to who we both were to each other. I'm your saviour and you are just someone who lied to me, who I happened to save regardless. Now you're well, when will you leave?”

Fayne's cold words tore something within me. His words were painful but it had some truths in it. 

“Do you want to get rid of me that badly?” I asked him.

“Afterall, we're strangers.”

“Stranger, is that all you see me as?” I asked him.

Just then, someone appeared from the woods and when he came closer, I recognised him as the first human who took me under his reins after finding me.

He walked straight to Fayne and then bowed, ignoring me.

“Sir, I'm back.”

“You… I've been expecting you.”

Fayne lifted the man up and handed him the letters.

“Send this to my right-hand man, Armin.”

The man took the letters and his gaze landed on me.

“Sir, who is this lady next to you?”

“It's not important, you should go.” 

The man bowed his head and looked at me but there was no air of familiarity in his eyes and it hurt me just a little bit. But then he left.

“Emily,” Fayne said. “Let's go back,” 

I took my mind off of what I just saw.

“Fayne, we were just talking. You called me a stranger. Is that all that I am to you? I mean we spoke a lot and I thought you were opening up to me. What's wrong?” I asked him but he turned around and started heading to the route leading back home.

“Fayne!” 

I called from behind him but my words fell on deaf ears.

***

When I arrived back at Fayne's house, I laid on the bed in my room. I had mostly recovered now. If Fayne didn't want me around then I couldn't force him. All I had to do was to go into the world and do whatever I could possible to survive.

The next day, I decided to leave. But Fayne was not awake yet and I didn't want to leave without a word.

I went to the kitchen to make something to eat. Midway, Fayne walked into the kitchen as well.

“You cooking something?”

There was an unspeakable silence between us. One that had a deep meaning.

“Yes I am, Fayne.” I responded.

“When will you leave?” He asked.

I turned around to look at Fayne. “Why are you adamant on me leaving the house? I can't even protect myself when I go outside, Fayne! And you want to know why? It's because I am weak. I can't cope when I'm left alone.”

“You can, and you will.”

“You don't understand me Fayne.” I said.

“Yes I do. But you can't rely on my grandiosity forever. You are your own person, Emily. It will do you good to be independent.”

“I know, Fayne. You are an excellent man who is cut-throat and wants the best for me in your own way but can't I stay with you for longer? I've been cast aside so many times— more than I can count. Only you Fayne, can accept me the way I am.”

“I actually don't accept you the way you are.” He said.