Share

The Scars Of My Past
The Scars Of My Past
Author: Alanta Robinson

Chapter 1

Author: Alanta Robinson
last update Last Updated: 2024-10-29 19:42:56

I can’t help but look around me as I run down the abandoned street. My canvas clad feet smacking harshly against the dirt road with my increasing stride. The early morning sun making it easy to see as the darkness lifts. My breathing became deafening as I continue to tire. I need to push on they need the medicine.

You’re not going to make it, the fever will kill all those effected all because you weren’t quick enough. That’s why they abandoned you the first time, isn’t it? You weren’t quick enough, It’s all your fault they left you. My subconscious speaks like I am a five year old in need of a scolding.

My uneven breathing grows harsh as my throat closes up with memories rushing back from my subconscious’ taunting. My fingers automatically go to the left side of my forehead to trace the ridge of the scar to its end just below my right eye.

Why is it whenever I’m alone I always end up drowning in the torment created by my own mind? Come on Bailey, you just have to get the medicine back to the others.

I start thinking about the group I am currently with. Sure they were nice but they mainly have children that survived the carnage. They almost always need me to go on supply runs but I can’t help myself from thinking they just want to get rid of me.

Imagine all the things they say behind your back, being branded with the shame of failure and rejection is the best thing that will ever happened to you. That scar warns others away from you. The disgust and the suspicion, it’s all clear on their faces. My subconscious cackles, delighted by their obvious disgust.

No! They don’t look at me like that, do they? I have to distract myself. Maybe if I look at the buildings.

The abandoned buildings around me were trashed when the apocalypse started. I remember when the first outbreak was reported, the infected were ripping people’s throats out. I always thought the apocalypse would have been caused by zombies but it’s not. Get this, the apocalypse started because of vampires and not the twilight kind of vampires. No these vampires don’t have glittery skin or look even remotely attractive. These vampires have rotten skin from the lack of food and their eyes are black bottomless pits. These monsters can go out in the sun without the fear of their skin burning. Their nails look like thick wires protruding from their fingertips reminding me of barbed wire. It is terrifying. I don’t ever want to get caught in the middle of a pack of them. I have seen it happen. I shudder from the atrocious memory, that’s not something I want to see ever again.

I knew I was nearing the compound due to the buildings having a stronger structure with more stability than the rubble around them and I knew I was nearly at the compound. I draw closer only to notice the screams and the sound of gunshots in the distance, my breath hitches as I sprint towards the wailing. How could this happen? The groups on patrol are excellent at spotting threats. Have they been attacked by another group? Is it those monsters? Have they been overrun?

My thoughts intensify as I stumble along the dirt road as fast as I can.

I have to help them! I need to help them!

What and risk your own life? You’re too cowardly to consider that. My appalled subconscious spat.

They helped me when I was lost. I need to be able to help them when they need it.

The only reason they help you is because they need some mindless drone to do all their bidding. Think back do they ever try to make you feel comfortable? What do they want from you, that doesn’t involve you running around. Don’t be stupid abandon them! My subconscious all but screams at me as I continue towards the compound.

No, they don’t ask me for anything but errands but I don’t care! They took me in, they could have left me to those monsters and I would never have survived but they didn’t so I’m not going to abandon them.

You’re such a little bitch whimpering, waiting, hoping to save them. Bailey they aren’t making it out alive! Now turn around and leave! The presence in my head increases until a dull ache appears, I grip my head as I continue to run.

Stop please! Please stop I’m going to help them!

Fine if you want to die, please continue on the path you’ve chosen! The ache disappears and my subconscious with it.

Related chapters

  • The Scars Of My Past   Chapter 2

    I pant as my feet carry me towards the compound, I wonder if anyone will be alive and if they are will they be happy to see me?The scent of iron became heavy in the air as I slow to a jog. The compound looks daunting as the gun shots echo around. Where is everyone?Just as the thought came to mind the gunshots and screams silenced, the roaring in my ears was deafening as I pushed my way past the fallen debris to look for any sign of life but I knew I wouldn’t find what I was looking for, the realisation that I was completely alone yet again dawns on me as I came across a body. It was one of the teenagers that also had been taken in, I stare at his horribly disfigured body and I came to the conclusion that this attack was caused by those monsters, if they were still around I need to gather all the supplies I could before they found me or before the corpses reanimated I quietly search the bodies I could reach without having to leave the cover provided by the debri

  • The Scars Of My Past   Chapter 3

    It won’t work... here let me demonstrate. You throw the bottle and it shatters on a rock away from you, you wait a minute with baited breath as the shrieks head towards the bottle. Now! It’s your chance, you start for the building but…but you step on a stick and it snaps. Oh no! they’re coming for you, bam! You’re caught and ripped into shreds. My subconscious chuckles as my hand picks up the transparent glass bottle, I just need to throw it far enough that they will run away from me. That way I can make a run for the building and barricade myself inside. My hands start to sweat with the tension running through my body, I grip the bottle tight as my breathing became heavy. I prepare to lob the bottle

  • The Scars Of My Past   Chapter 4

    It won’t work... here let me demonstrate. You throw the bottle and it shatters on a rock away from you, you wait a minute with baited breath as the shrieks head towards the bottle. Now! It’s your chance, you start for the building but…but you step on a stick and it snaps. Oh no! they’re coming for you, bam! You’re caught and ripped into shreds. My subconscious chuckles as my hand picks up the transparent glass bottle, I just need to throw it far enough that they will run away from me. That way I can make a run for the building and barricade myself inside. My hands start to sweat with the tension running through my body, I grip the bottle tight as my breathing became heavy. I prepare to lob the bottle away from me. Here we go I just need to get it far enough away from me. I draw my arm back I propel the bottle forward, the glass easily slips through my sweaty grasp as my muscles tighten with the release.

  • The Scars Of My Past   Chapter 5

    Fuck there is two of them. How am I supposed to take them down? You can’t. You should take that shard and slit you wrist now. You can’t take two of them down. No matter how weak they are. Remember you are weaker than them. Shut up! Just remember I offered you an easy way out. I gripped the shard firmly as I reassessed the creatures behind me. I was right, they’re sickly looking. They’re barely standing. They were in the same place but their heads were tilted backwards as if they were concentrating on something. Were they listening? Were my footsteps too loud? I shook away the impending anxiety as I peered around for a distraction. I need to lure them away from each other. I spotted a rock and slid my hand along the dirt until I felt the rough surface, not taking my eyes away from the group. I carefully picked the rock up and tested the weight in my hand, would they

  • The Scars Of My Past   Chapter 6

    I need to get down and search the body of the vampire that impaled itself. Maybe I can find something on one of the bodies that can help me. I looked around me as the ledge seemed to only have one way down and it was those rickety steps. I began to climb down.Don’t look down there. Don’t. Look. Down. Scared are you? Come on. I dare you to look down. If you look down it might ease your mind… Stop trying to be nice!Stop interrupting me! I was going to say. It might ease your mind to know how far you’re going to fall!That’s not any better than pretending to be nice to me!I continued to climb down until I reached the last step, how am I going to get enough momentum? Maybe if I can find something to hang onto in case I don’t make it? My eyes looked to the sides of the ravine as fast as I could until I spotted a vine like objec

  • The Scars Of My Past   Chapter 7

    I guess that’s why I have my scar, a reminder of the fact that I’ll never be as strong as I need to be. As strong as I want to be. Maybe I deserve the scar…. I-i know I deserve my scar it’s all my fault. I… I need to search the body. I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand, collected the supplies and got to my feet, stumbling backwards as my backpack settled on my shoulders.I breathed in through my nose, dragging my feet towards the shish kebabbed vampire. I just need to kill the other one then I can leave. I’ll figure that out later I suppose. I sighed as I reached the rotting body that had been speared by the rod, god these things actually stink. I squatted down and patted the pockets down until I felt a hard rectangle in the front. I put my hand into the pocket after glancing around, it was just an ID and a pocket knife. I felt my stomach role as I stared at the picture on the plastic, the woman had blonde hair and blue

  • The Scars Of My Past   Chapter 8

    I have been traveling for four days now, the weather had stayed clear and there was no drama however I can’t even begin to explain how much my feet hurt. I was around 200km in by now and the evacuation centre seemed so far away but I knew better than to give up now, I had come so far and I refuse to give up for now at least.Darkness slowly coated the surroundings, I need to find a tree that’s steady and could hold my weight. I walked around the massive oak trees looking for one that wasn’t too high but wasn’t too small. As I walked around I could hear the snapping of twigs and the ground crunching beneath the weight of god knows what, the sound of panting reached me. What it that? The panting wasn’t as frantic as the beasts but It kind of sounded like a dog. Is it wild? Has it gone feral?I looked around for some kind of cover whilst I tried to figure out what kind of shape the dog would be in.I really hope it&rs

  • The Scars Of My Past   Chapter 9

    Wow that’s a fucked up thoughtI admit that’s fucked up even for me I rolled my eyes and sluggishly tried to sit holding my hand to my head to try and ease the pain that had gotten worse.I think I have a concussion or something...You don’t say I struggled against the pull of sleep I need to stay awake that is what you do with concussions right?No you need to lay back down and sleep let your mind drift away whilst you think of before the world went to hell.Hmmm tempting but I think not, I need to stay awake and aware of my surroundings. After managing to sit up I watched the dog with weary and unfocused eyes as it crawled towards me.“What are you doing?” I watched as closely as I could as it paused and lifted its ears.”Do you understand me?”

Latest chapter

  • The Scars Of My Past   Chapter 19

    “Fucking stupid door, Bailey don’t move I’m going to go find Tristan. I’ll be back please trust me.” I heard him sprint down the hall followed by the sound of the front door slamming shut. I finally got to the desk and began to push it with everything I had in me but it just wouldn’t budge. I cried out in pain and frustration, why do I let her talk my into he stupid situations. They wouldn’t have hurt me at all, not once did I hear them try to get into my room last night nothing even came past my room. They were so willing to help me recover and help me to feel comfortable that they went to this extent, I breathed in deeply and braced my hands against the desk digging into the floor with all my might as the desk began to move. I got the desk out the way enough and crawled backwards a little before the sound of thunderous steps came rushing to the room I was currently in.“Bailey move away from the door now, I’m going to tr

  • The Scars Of My Past   Chapter 18

    “Bailey?” Theo gently questioned the concern made me feel a bit of guilt for the way I ran out of the room but there we go again her making me unable to trust myself and those around me, I have no one but myself to blame. It’s always been all my fault.“Bailey, are you ok? You scared me I’m not sure what’s wrong but its ok if you just wanted to rest, I’ve out clean sheets and a clean blanket on the bed so you can have a lay down. It’s getting late so I’m going to go to bed and Tristan is going to sleep on the couch if you need anything just yell out ok hunny?” his voice was unsure and sounded a little bit hurt as I backed away from the desk, I didn’t bother to reply not wanting my voice to give away how guilty I was feeling and how weak I was for running away like that.I heard Theo sigh through the door before his foot steps faded leaving me to my own devices, I feel horrible for making him feel like he

  • The Scars Of My Past   Chapter 17

    I cleared my throat and let go of Tristan’s hand mumbling an apology when I saw the red marks I had left behind, I didn’t man to keep a death grip on him the whole time.“It’s ok, how about we make you a snack?” he left me at the table and wandered in the pantry before getting kicked out by Theo who tsk’d when Tristan made an approach towards it.“I know you’re not about to even think of setting foot in my kitchen, we both remember what happened last time don’t we?” the hard look on Theo’s face peaked my interest in the situation. Tristan came to sit next to me grumbling about how it was an accident and he didn’t mean to do it. I giggled a little at him before turning my attention towards Theo however not before I noticed Tristan perk up at the sound of my giggle.“Uh what happened last time, if you don’t mind me asking?” I stifled my laugh as tristan groa

  • The Scars Of My Past   Chapter 16

    A gentle nudge under my chin bought my attention back to Tristan standing in front of me his eyes shone with concern for me.“I’m sorry.” It came out as barely a whisper but I knew he had heard me because his lips turned down the slightest before he smoothed out the frown and replaced it with a gentle smile. Is that what she meant when she said they hide the way they felt about me?“Don’t say sorry you’ve been through a lot in the past day, how about we go get some food and then you can go lay down in the spare bedroom?” he spoke cautiously like he didn’t want to overwhelm me, they are so kind to me. I’m scared of what they are going to want in return of all this kindness, what are they going to make me do to pay back the burden I’ve placed on them by being here?“Ok.” I looked back up him and sighed, I can’t let these thoughts ruin the right now I can’t let them see how weak I&r

  • The Scars Of My Past   Chapter 15

    After Theo had finished helping me wash my hair and the general areas of my body I asked for some privacy to finish off and dress before I joined them in the kitchen. The kitchen wasn’t too far from where the bathroom was located I remembered that from our walk here but I couldn’t help but get lost in the house, I was too lost in the memories that were dragged up for talking to Theo about the past. A cold nose poked the back of my calf muscle making me jump and let out a startled yelp, the sound of cutlery being dropped made me look in the direction of a doorway and not long after Tristan burst through the door holding a knife in his hand and searching with his eyes until they met mine. He sighed and lowered the knife looking down at my legs to find Zara staring at him innocently. "Zara you can’t go around scaring everyone!" Tristan scolded her before looking back towards me. "Are you ok? she didn’t hurt you by accident did she?" his e

  • The Scars Of My Past   Chaper 14

    "Are you ok?" Tristan’s voice jarred me out of my awkward fiddling and caused me to jump, I looked up at him to him softly smiling at me reassuring me that everything was fine and he wasn’t going to harm me."I'm sorry I didn't mean to scare you, you just seemed really out of place." he knelt down in front of me and took my hands that were pinching each other. he rubbed the little crescent marks left behind."You don't need to be afraid anymore, I know that we are all complete strangers to you but trust me when I say I will not allow anyone to harm you. I promise you bailey." he gently squeezed my injured hands and smiled up at me before getting back to his feet just as Theo walked in with a towel in hand."oh perfect Tristan has already warmed up the water for you." he turned to Tristan before making a shooing motion with his hands and turning around to face me. Tristan shook his head and smiled at me before walking out of the bathroom and gently cl

  • The Scars Of My Past   Chapter 13

    I shook my head before realising that Theo had stopped walking and was asking Tristan to open the door, when did we get here? Where is here?“Where are we?” I questioned.I clutched Theo’s shirt as he stepped in through the wooden door, it was a nice house for an apocalypse. The wooden door looked to be reinforced and the widows were protected with a metal mesh wire surrounding the glass pane, the house itself was a pale blue with a brown roof it was a weird colour but it was nostalgic. It reminded me of when my family was still together, when they actually liked me being around.I sighed closing my eyes and hid myself in Theo’s shirt I didn’t want to think about when I used to be happy it hurt too much to reminisce on the good days, I exhaled harshly as Theo came to a stop his hand coming up to rub my back in a comforting manner.“Sweetheart there’s a couch you can rest one while I sort the gu

  • The Scars Of My Past   Chapter 12

    "Right sweetie we need to get you back to my house so you can rest up and have a shower because I can barely see what you actually look like underneath all that dirt. What do you think about that? You can have something to eat after you shower." Theo gently helped my stand but after I started to sway and fall he picked me up and held my bridal style to prevent me from falling on my face. I looked around to see Tristan grab my medicine and the jelly before picking up the glass of water he had dropped and placing the empty glass on the table whistling Zara to follow after us as we exited the infirmary."So bailey have you got anyone waiting for you to come back or are you by yourself?" Tristan's voice made me shiver as he stared intently at me before turning his head to look at some people passing by."I-I’m by myself." I heaved out a breath as my vision blurred " the last group I was with um they uh died like a few days ago well I think they died. I was on a suppl

  • The Scars Of My Past   Chapter 11

    ”Ok Hun so your head has a gash but it’s easy to fix with some super glue, I know what you’re thinking ‘super glue who uses super glue to fix a gash?’ But I can assure you that it’s perfectly safe, and I’ll help you take it off when your head looks a bit better. Ok so I’m just going to glue this together, then you can go home with Theo.”I pulled my hand back towards my body thinking about my reply before speaking out loud.“Thank you for doing this, it-it means a lot to me to uh know that even though you guys are just strangers you are looking after me. You don’t even have to but you did, I mean the last person that cared about me was my brother and I haven’t seen him since...” My words caught in my throat whilst my eyes prickled with tears I couldn’t speak the tears blurred my vision and my throat closed over, I just couldn’t think about that it’s just too painful for me t

DMCA.com Protection Status