Chapter Six
** A Week Later **
I was nervously getting ready for my second date with Andy. I had been thinking over the past few days about what I should wear… and, I was nervous about seeing him again. It was weird, he made me feel... Good but uncomfortable at the same time. I don’t know why he seems like a good guy but at the same time... I don’t feel… 100% completely safe with him.
I couldn’t put my finger on why though...
Shaking the thoughts away, I walked into my bedroom and pulled the clothes I had decided to wear out of the closet and laid them on my bed. Since we were going bowling, I didn’t want to be overdressed, so I went with jeans, but since it was a date, I paired it with some knee-high boots and a cute top.
I smiled to myself and went and sat at my dresser to do my hair and make up. Andy wasn’t due to come till 6.30 and it was only 5 now, but I needed to have plenty of time to make sure I looked good enough for him.
I started with my face, and then straightened my hair, and after a little while, I was done and ready to get dressed. I kept clock watching, making sure I wasn’t falling behind and running late, but when 6 o’clock rolled around and I still hadn’t had any messages off Andy, I began worrying again.
It had been hours since I last text him, so, I decided to just shoot him a quick one to make sure that we were still on;
Me: Hey Andy. Hope you had a good day :) I’m really ready, I hope you’re looking forward to our second date as much as I am :)
I sent it and put my phone down again. Waiting for a text message makes a minute seem like an hour and 5 minutes seem like an eternity.
I just tried to forget about it and went and got changed...
Half past 6 rolled around… and then quarter to 7… then 7…. Then quarter passed. I just sat and waited, I had no text messages, no nothing. Andy stood me up. Again.By half 7, I had enough and went to the bathroom to take my make up off. I was so angry... And upset, but... Strangely, not surprised. It's only our second date and I’m not surprised that he hasn’t even turned up... That’s great for the future, isn’t it?
I put my hair up in a messy bun and cleaned my face. Sighing, taking another look at myself in the mirror.
This guy wasn’t worth my time.
I walked back over to my closet and grabbed some Pyjamas. There was no point staying in uncomfortable clothes if I had nowhere to go.
I unzipped my boots and took them off, but just as I was pulling my top off, someone knocked on my door. I looked over at the clock, quarter to 8. If this was him, I’ll… Hell, I don’t know what I’d do…
Grabbing my hoodie and pulling it on, I hurried to my front door. Opening it without checking who it was and sure enough, there he was.
‘Andy?’ I asked, annoyance clear in my voice. He just smiled at me like nothing was wrong.
‘Hey, you ready to go?’ I scoffed and went to close my door again, but he put his foot in between it, stopping me. ‘What's wrong?” I pulled the door open and just stared at him, completely dumbfounded.
‘Are you for real? This would have been our second date and it's the second date you’re fucking late too! You were meant to be here at 6.30. I haven’t heard anything from you and now over an hour late, you turn up on my doorstep and expect me to just follow you blindly?’
‘Calm down’. He chuckled as if this was some sort of joke.
‘Get lost Andy’. I tried to close the door again, but I still couldn’t. When I looked back at his face, it was like... It had changed. He didn’t even look like him anymore...
‘Don’t you ever talk to me like that again, you understand?!’. My insides went cold at the anger and hate in his voice, so I nodded quickly and apologised to break the tension and he smiled. ‘Good, Get your shoes on, let’s go’.
‘O-ok’. I was honestly fucking terrified of him at this point, so, I just did what he said. The sooner we went, the sooner I could come home and just forget all about him.
I walked back to my bedroom, and he stayed in my doorway. It was weird, as soon as I apologised, he completely changed his attitude again and was ‘’normal’’. I decided to just put my converses on, and I didn’t care about how I looked anymore either.
I took a few deep breaths before I left the room and walked back towards him standing where I left him, in my doorway. As soon as he saw me, he smiled and stepped away from the door. I grabbed my bag off the side and we headed out. I locked the door behind myself and followed Andy down to the car park.
I followed him, keeping a few steps behind him, but I was more than surprised when he took me to a van. That uncomfortable feeling started to creep up on me again. A big, black van… no back windows... Weird…
‘Wanna see something cool?’ I shrugged, really not feeling in the mood to talk. He pulled the back door open and showed me the inside... It was basically a bedroom… weirder…
‘Why…?’
‘I work nights, I turned this into a bedroom for when I have breaks at work’. I ohhh’ed. That made sense I suppose. He just grinned at me and closed the door again, opening mine for me. I reluctantly climbed in and he shut it again before walking around and getting in on his own side.
As we started to head off, the opposite way to where the bowling alley was, the uncomfortable feeling turned into fear.
What the fuck is going on?
Chapter Seven‘Where are we going?” I asked, looking out the windows, trying to see through the darkness. I lived around here, but for the life of me, I had no idea what would be this way and why he would be taking me.
Chapter EightI stayed quiet for the rest of the ride to the bowling alley, which was, annoyingly, longer than I expected due to the traffic jam. By the time we got there, we only had an hour, so we just paid for our lane and headed off to play.
Chapter NineI climbed into bed and pulled my duvet up over me. The whole room was in pitch black. I wanted the darkness, it helped me think. I had a shower when I came home… a scalding hot shower. I needed it to burn, hurt... Clean me. I brushed
Chapter TenI woke up early the next morning and just laid in bed for a little while. I had no plans today, so, was in no rush to get out of bed. I leaned over and grabbed my phone off the side. There was nothing off Andy, but that was fine, I just wante
Chapter ElevenThe food was ordered, the movie was picked and now we were cuddled up on the sofa, just talking about random things. We were waiting for dinner before we started the movie, so we wouldn’t have to get up or interrupt it once we
Chapter Twelve** A few days later **
Chapter ThirteenWe started eating our food, and I couldn’t help but let my eyes wander around the darkness outside my window. We truly were in the middle of nowhere. I tried to just not think about it. The fact that anyone could be out in the dark, and you would never, ever know. I shivered at the tho
Chapter FourteenWalking out of work, I looked around, the sun beaming in my eyes made me pull my sunglasses out. It was such a nice day, I wasn’t going to just go home and say indoors, it was too warm for that shit. I decided to go to the shop and
As you can see from the title, this isn't a chapter, however, I just wanted to clear something up. This book is true, its 100% true and infact I have left a lot of things out because it would have been too much personal stuff to share. As you read the ending and remember everything you have read so far, please, just keep in mind that this actually happened to me.When you say ''She is being stupid for putting up with it'' or ''God, Hannah should just leave him'' or ''Why does she keep forgiving him'', know it actually Why didn't I leave him, why did I keep forgiving him, and honestly, because I thought I loved him and thought he loved me. Domestic violence is something you don't really realise is happening until its too late, until you already fear them too much to leave.I took a break from this book for months because it was mentally putting me in a bad place and I haven't updated this book in a week because again, it was starting to affect me.
Note: Just something to clear things up. Yes, Hannah works. You never read her working in the chapters because, well, that would be boring, but for anyone wondering how she can afford to live alone in the city, That’s why :)-----------------------------------------------------------------------------Chapter Forty-FiveAndy left as soon as we finished having sex. He said he had a coffee meeting to get to, I didn’t really care, I was just glad he was gone. This was beginning to be a pattern. Fight, fuck, forgive and forget. Shaking my head, I got out of bed and pulled all the covers off. Things had gotten quite hot and sweaty and I definitely needed to put fresh sheets on… after I had a shower...
Chapter Forty FourAndy pushed passed me and into my apartment, straight over to James. James stood his ground and showed absolutely no emotion. He wasn't intimidated by Andy… and Andy knew that. I closed the door sensing neither of them were leaving any time soon. I walked over to them and stood between the pair, wanting to keep any physical confrontation from happening.'Andy, I thought you went home" he huffed a laugh and looked at me.'Yeah, clearly. Lying to me to get home for a secret meeting with him!' I could see he was getting angry.'I didn't even know he was here until I got home'.'Not that it's any of your business, mate, but I came to wish her a happy birthday.
Note: If you think this book is boring, please stop reading it. No one is forcing you to. I’m sorry it's boring and I’m sorry that you think it's ‘’too slow’’. I assure you, I’m not dragging it out, people need to remember that abuse doesn’t just happen one day. People don’t realise they are being abused until it's too late and then they can’t see a way out. Bear that in mind before commenting; ‘’Not very realistic’’ because the truth is… this book is written, based on true events.I just wanted to make that clear to those who don’t understand what it's like to suffer domestic violence and assault.-------------------------------------------------------------------Chapter Forty Three
*TRIGGER WARNING FOR SEXUAL ASSAULT*-------------------------------------------------------Chapter Forty TwoPulling up at that large house, Andy turned the car off and got out without so much as a word. I just followed him, thinking the sooner we get in, the sooner I can make an excuse and go to bed, but he clearly had other plans.‘Right, where can I sleep?’ I asked, my voice completely void of any emotion. He pointed upstairs, but I waited for him to actually verbally clarify which room.‘My room’. I just laughed, Like, literally laughed out loud at him. He just stared at me, folding his arms.‘Wait… are you
Chapter Forty OneI really wanted to go home, now more than ever, but of course, that wasn’t an option. Every time I built up the courage to look up, he had his back to me. Good, I didn’t want him staring, But the rejection he had shown towards me so randomly was making me feel like complete and utter shit.Andy brought our drinks over and sat down next to me. I moved away from him slightly and took the drink with me. I didn’t want to be anywhere near him, he had planned this and sure, he clearly didn’t know if James would be here because he didn’t know what had happened, but, he still tricked me to get me here and that was just as bad.‘What is with you tonight?’ He asked, acting like he had no clue what was going on. I just looked at him blankly,
Chapter FortyA few weeks had passed and I was stuck in a rut. I would just mope around, not doing anything of value, then eat dinner, mope around some more, have a bath and go to bed. I wasn’t depressed, that would be dramatic, but I was… lost, I guess you’d say. I just didn’t know what to do to make myself happy anymore.I hadn’t heard from James AT ALL and I don’t know why. Well, that's not true, it was obvious why He used me for sex. Of course, I wanted to sleep with him too, but I thought that, well... To be honest, there was something more there, but I guess not.A quick fuck and then sneak out while I was sleeping, Maybe he did this with other people too, who knows. I actually thought I had made a complete fool of myself. Of course, it was just ab
Chapter Thirty Nine** A Few Hours Later **The food had arrived a little while ago and we were already two episodes deep into the tv show. It seemed strange to start on season 5 of a tv show together, but with something like American Horror Story, it didn’t really seem to matter where you started it. Every season was like a completely new show anyway.Either way, I was enjoying myself. We had good entertainment, good food and I certainly had good company. After we had eaten, we got back into the position we had been in all evening, James had his arm draped effortlessly over my shoulder and I was leaning against him, comfortably. My hand on his mid-thigh.I was so comfortable… that was… until my phone started ri
Chapter Thirty EightAs soon as I started to get ready, the hours seemed to fly by and before I knew it, James was texting me to tell me he was on his way. As soon as he did, I started panicking. What if he wasn’t as cute as I remembered?! What if I wasn’t as cute as HE remembered?!I found myself obsessively checking myself out in the mirror, hoping every time I did that i would look the same… of -fucking- course I’d look the same. I was driving myself crazy. Since we were staying in tonight, I was very confused about what I should wear. I wanted to look nice, but obviously NOT overdressed, I wanted to look cute but not like I was trying too hard.So, I went with some skinny jeans and a nice casual, yet slightly cleavage-revelling, top.