Chapter Eight
I stayed quiet for the rest of the ride to the bowling alley, which was, annoyingly, longer than I expected due to the traffic jam. By the time we got there, we only had an hour, so we just paid for our lane and headed off to play.
Andy set up the scoreboard while I went to the bar to get us some drinks.
When I got back, we were all set and ready to go. I tried to keep away from Andy, and honestly, I was just trying to have fun and forget about what happened in the van for now. I couldn’t change it, we were in a public place, he couldn’t do anything to me here.
‘Right, you go first’. He told me, taking the drink and he leaned forward and kissed my cheek. My whole body stiffened, but only for a second and then I relaxed again when he moved away. I put my drink down and went to grab my ball.
I took my two rolls and went back to the seats, then it was Andy’s turn. I was always shit at bowling, so the fact he beat my score with his first ball alone… didn’t surprise me. When he walked back to the table with a grin on his face, I couldn’t help but smile at his cockiness.‘And that’s how it's done’. I watched him as he sat down across from me and picked up his drink. I felt the sudden need to impress him and stood up to take my turn.
While I didn’t get a strike, I got a split and for now, that was good enough. It earned me a slap on the ass and a ‘’well done baby girl’’...and I felt.. Proud of myself for the compliment…
We played a few games before the alley closed and I went to wait by Andy’s van while we went for a piss. He had a long drive back home and didn’t want to stop on the way... How words.It was cold, but it wasn’t raining, which, I suppose, was a plus. I stood and waited for about five minutes until he appeared from the building and came over. He beeped the van unlocked and I climbed in.
He got in next to me but just sat there. I looked over at him.
‘What's up?’ He shook his head.
‘Nothing’. I looked around the car park, besides us, there was one car left that I assumed was the member of staff that was locking up the alley.
‘Ok.. so... Are we leaving?’ He nodded but still didn’t make any attempt to start the engine. ‘What are you waiting for?’ I asked, smiling, hiding the fact that I was getting that familiar nervousness and uncomfortable feeling I seemed to be getting every time I was around Andy.
‘I want you to do something for me, baby girl’.
‘What?’ He grinned and lifted himself up slightly so he could unzip his jeans and pulled out his dick... It wasn’t even hard. My panic level shot up to 100. Oh god. I looked back at him, he just smiled at me. ‘What exactly do you expect me to do with that?’
‘What do you think?’ He just kept staring at me as he wrapped his hand around his flaccid penis and started tugging on it, working himself up, making himself hard.
‘I-I told you... I’m not ready for that stuff yet’. I looked away from him, the fact he had such a fierce, dominant glare and that he wasn’t taking his eyes off me while he pleasured himself just made my skin crawl.
‘And I told you to take my orders like a good girl. Now, Suck. My. Dick’. His tone was low, but it was a warning. I could feel my hands shaking as I pulled myself across the cab. He put his hand on the back of my head and pulled it down. I put my hands on his thighs, steadying myself and wrapped a shaking hand around his dick, slowly lowering my head and taking him in my mouth.
I took him all the way in and started sucking, but as soon as I did, I could taste something foul and disgusting and pulled off quickly as soon as I realised it was pee.
I could taste pee.
I pulled back but he kept a hand on my head.
‘I can taste it... You just went to the bathroom. No!’. It was fucking gross! but he didn’t care, he just pulled my head back down, lined himself up and pushed it back into my mouth. I just squeezed my eyes shut and tried to push through it.
After a while. I couldn’t taste it anymore and my main focus became, just giving him the best head I could so that he could cum and this could all be over.
I used my tongue to lick and tease the head of his cock while my hand pumped him, only moving it out the way so I could take his whole length back into my mouth, over and over. I could hear him groaning and the hand on the back of my head took a handful of my hair and started controlling my speed.
When it got rougher and faster, I knew he was close and soon enough, he shot his hot, sticky mess down the back of my throat. I gagged and had to pull away quickly, opening the van door and spat the cum out onto the floor.
I closed the door again and sat back while he put himself away and put his belt on.
‘See, I knew you could be a good girl after all.’ I just ‘’hmmm’’ed. ‘Is there a shop around here?’ Why would he need a shop?
‘Yeah, there is a 24 hour Tesco round the corner’. He started the engine and told me to put my belt on. I did as I was told and we headed off again...
**
I walked into my flat and locked the door behind me. Making my way to the sofa with the Tesco bag in hand. After what happened in the car park, he took me to the shop, brought me a pink teddy bear and some ‘’treats’’ and told me over and over what a good girl I was.
...and I fucking hated the fact that I loved being his ‘’good girl’’.
Chapter NineI climbed into bed and pulled my duvet up over me. The whole room was in pitch black. I wanted the darkness, it helped me think. I had a shower when I came home… a scalding hot shower. I needed it to burn, hurt... Clean me. I brushed
Chapter TenI woke up early the next morning and just laid in bed for a little while. I had no plans today, so, was in no rush to get out of bed. I leaned over and grabbed my phone off the side. There was nothing off Andy, but that was fine, I just wante
Chapter ElevenThe food was ordered, the movie was picked and now we were cuddled up on the sofa, just talking about random things. We were waiting for dinner before we started the movie, so we wouldn’t have to get up or interrupt it once we
Chapter Twelve** A few days later **
Chapter ThirteenWe started eating our food, and I couldn’t help but let my eyes wander around the darkness outside my window. We truly were in the middle of nowhere. I tried to just not think about it. The fact that anyone could be out in the dark, and you would never, ever know. I shivered at the tho
Chapter FourteenWalking out of work, I looked around, the sun beaming in my eyes made me pull my sunglasses out. It was such a nice day, I wasn’t going to just go home and say indoors, it was too warm for that shit. I decided to go to the shop and
Chapter FifteenI sat and waited for him to arrive. I knew at this time of the day coming from London centre he would hit traffic, so be later than usual, but, no matter how hard I tried to just chill out, I couldn’t. I was nervous about seei
Chapter Sixteen** A few months Later **
As you can see from the title, this isn't a chapter, however, I just wanted to clear something up. This book is true, its 100% true and infact I have left a lot of things out because it would have been too much personal stuff to share. As you read the ending and remember everything you have read so far, please, just keep in mind that this actually happened to me.When you say ''She is being stupid for putting up with it'' or ''God, Hannah should just leave him'' or ''Why does she keep forgiving him'', know it actually Why didn't I leave him, why did I keep forgiving him, and honestly, because I thought I loved him and thought he loved me. Domestic violence is something you don't really realise is happening until its too late, until you already fear them too much to leave.I took a break from this book for months because it was mentally putting me in a bad place and I haven't updated this book in a week because again, it was starting to affect me.
Note: Just something to clear things up. Yes, Hannah works. You never read her working in the chapters because, well, that would be boring, but for anyone wondering how she can afford to live alone in the city, That’s why :)-----------------------------------------------------------------------------Chapter Forty-FiveAndy left as soon as we finished having sex. He said he had a coffee meeting to get to, I didn’t really care, I was just glad he was gone. This was beginning to be a pattern. Fight, fuck, forgive and forget. Shaking my head, I got out of bed and pulled all the covers off. Things had gotten quite hot and sweaty and I definitely needed to put fresh sheets on… after I had a shower...
Chapter Forty FourAndy pushed passed me and into my apartment, straight over to James. James stood his ground and showed absolutely no emotion. He wasn't intimidated by Andy… and Andy knew that. I closed the door sensing neither of them were leaving any time soon. I walked over to them and stood between the pair, wanting to keep any physical confrontation from happening.'Andy, I thought you went home" he huffed a laugh and looked at me.'Yeah, clearly. Lying to me to get home for a secret meeting with him!' I could see he was getting angry.'I didn't even know he was here until I got home'.'Not that it's any of your business, mate, but I came to wish her a happy birthday.
Note: If you think this book is boring, please stop reading it. No one is forcing you to. I’m sorry it's boring and I’m sorry that you think it's ‘’too slow’’. I assure you, I’m not dragging it out, people need to remember that abuse doesn’t just happen one day. People don’t realise they are being abused until it's too late and then they can’t see a way out. Bear that in mind before commenting; ‘’Not very realistic’’ because the truth is… this book is written, based on true events.I just wanted to make that clear to those who don’t understand what it's like to suffer domestic violence and assault.-------------------------------------------------------------------Chapter Forty Three
*TRIGGER WARNING FOR SEXUAL ASSAULT*-------------------------------------------------------Chapter Forty TwoPulling up at that large house, Andy turned the car off and got out without so much as a word. I just followed him, thinking the sooner we get in, the sooner I can make an excuse and go to bed, but he clearly had other plans.‘Right, where can I sleep?’ I asked, my voice completely void of any emotion. He pointed upstairs, but I waited for him to actually verbally clarify which room.‘My room’. I just laughed, Like, literally laughed out loud at him. He just stared at me, folding his arms.‘Wait… are you
Chapter Forty OneI really wanted to go home, now more than ever, but of course, that wasn’t an option. Every time I built up the courage to look up, he had his back to me. Good, I didn’t want him staring, But the rejection he had shown towards me so randomly was making me feel like complete and utter shit.Andy brought our drinks over and sat down next to me. I moved away from him slightly and took the drink with me. I didn’t want to be anywhere near him, he had planned this and sure, he clearly didn’t know if James would be here because he didn’t know what had happened, but, he still tricked me to get me here and that was just as bad.‘What is with you tonight?’ He asked, acting like he had no clue what was going on. I just looked at him blankly,
Chapter FortyA few weeks had passed and I was stuck in a rut. I would just mope around, not doing anything of value, then eat dinner, mope around some more, have a bath and go to bed. I wasn’t depressed, that would be dramatic, but I was… lost, I guess you’d say. I just didn’t know what to do to make myself happy anymore.I hadn’t heard from James AT ALL and I don’t know why. Well, that's not true, it was obvious why He used me for sex. Of course, I wanted to sleep with him too, but I thought that, well... To be honest, there was something more there, but I guess not.A quick fuck and then sneak out while I was sleeping, Maybe he did this with other people too, who knows. I actually thought I had made a complete fool of myself. Of course, it was just ab
Chapter Thirty Nine** A Few Hours Later **The food had arrived a little while ago and we were already two episodes deep into the tv show. It seemed strange to start on season 5 of a tv show together, but with something like American Horror Story, it didn’t really seem to matter where you started it. Every season was like a completely new show anyway.Either way, I was enjoying myself. We had good entertainment, good food and I certainly had good company. After we had eaten, we got back into the position we had been in all evening, James had his arm draped effortlessly over my shoulder and I was leaning against him, comfortably. My hand on his mid-thigh.I was so comfortable… that was… until my phone started ri
Chapter Thirty EightAs soon as I started to get ready, the hours seemed to fly by and before I knew it, James was texting me to tell me he was on his way. As soon as he did, I started panicking. What if he wasn’t as cute as I remembered?! What if I wasn’t as cute as HE remembered?!I found myself obsessively checking myself out in the mirror, hoping every time I did that i would look the same… of -fucking- course I’d look the same. I was driving myself crazy. Since we were staying in tonight, I was very confused about what I should wear. I wanted to look nice, but obviously NOT overdressed, I wanted to look cute but not like I was trying too hard.So, I went with some skinny jeans and a nice casual, yet slightly cleavage-revelling, top.