Chapter Four
The next morning, the sun coming through my windows, filling my room with a blindingly bright light woke me up. It wasn’t until I rolled over and checked the time that I realised how early it was. That’s one thing I hated about summer if I didn’t have any plans on being up early, was the fact that the sun rises WAY too early!
I groaned as I pulled myself out of bed and slumped across the room to close the curtains that I had clearly forgotten to close last night. They were blackout ones though, so, as soon as they were pulled closed, the room went into darkness and, smiling happily, I went back to bed and fell back asleep again...
**A few hours later **I had finally rolled out of bed to start my day at about 9.30. I decided to have a nice hot bacon sandwich and a coffee for breakfast. Normally, I’d have cereal or something simple, but... I had the time, I had the bacon... So, why not?!
While it cooked, I went and brushed my teeth, changed and grabbed my phone from the bedroom. Leaving it to charge for a bit in the living room while I finished up in the kitchen. It must have rained in the night because when I opened my balcony door, the ground was wet, but with the rising heat, it has just turned muggy outside now.
It wasn’t until I sat down on the sofa, mouth full of meat and bacon that I remembered that I had an unread text message on my phone. I grabbed it and opened it up to see what it said.
Andy: I’m sorry if you’re annoyed. I would like a second date if you do? Maybe next week at some point? :)
And then about an hour after that one, he had sent another;
Andy: Well, I have an early start tomorrow, so, I'm going to head to bed. Night night. Let me know if you want that second date.
The fact that he had messaged me twice and made it clear that he wanted a second made me feel slightly better about him cancelling today’s date. Maybe he was interested after all…
Me: sorry, I fell asleep last night. Yes, I’d like a second date. Just let me know when :)
I didn’t get a reply, but if he was already at work, I wasn’t expecting him too. Normally, when he’s on nights he texts me when it's quiet, but, he had said they were busy recently, which, it was summer, so I could well believe it, I wasn’t expecting a response until this evening.
I had no plans tonight, I had a ton of housework that needed to be done that I had, admittedly, been neglecting for the past few days, and a mountain of washing waiting to be cleaned.
The excitement was overwhelming(!)
After I finished breakfast, I took my cup and plate into the kitchen and started filling the sink. While the water ran, I went and grabbed my linen basket from my bedroom, leaving the one in the bathroom for now, and brought that back to the kitchen as well.
My day just went from there really…
*****
It was getting into the late afternoon and I decided I was going to order myself a take away for dinner. It was payday tomorrow and I had some extra money left over, so, why not treat myself. Scrolling through the options on my phone, I decided to just have a simple McDonalds and made my order.
Almost as soon as I paid, Andy messaged me:
Andy: Hey, Just got home after my shift. Bloody shattered. How was your day? Also, Glad to know you want a second date, you must like me after all ;)
Me: When did I say I didn’t like you? :p My day was good, just boring. Yours?
Andy: Well, you got a bit blunt last night and then vanished. I started to worry :P Apart from being busy, it was ok, thanks.
Me: What did you do? Save any lives today? :D
Andy: Well, I helped a woman give birth to a baby girl, Rushed someone in to hospital who had a massive cut on their leg from a SAMURAI SWORD!! And some other slightly less interesting incidences.
A samurai sword?! Jesus christ!!!!
Me: Wow! Sounds eventful!! Awww, babies are cute, was that your first one? Also.. samurai sword?! That’s dangerously random!
Andy: Trust me in my job, it's not as random as you think. London is full of weirdos!! And Nah, I’ve helped deliver a fair few little ones.
That was SO cool!
We just carried on talking for what felt like hours about everything he had got up to today and all the crazy things he had to deal with, basically on a daily basis. It clearly wasn’t hours obviously, because before I knew it, someone was buzzing at my door and it took me a moment to remember about my dinner.
I went and collected my food and came back inside. As soon as the smell hit my nose, my stomach rumbled. I sat back down on the sofa and pulled out my fries, eating them handfuls at a time. It was the only way. They were still hot and the grease on them burned my lips… but it was worth it.
Andy: So, What are you doing tonight?
Me: Not much really, what about you?
Andy: Same, just relaxing after my long shift :)
Me: Fair enough... So.. Before our date, did you have much luck with OkCupid?
I was curious. I hadn’t. Not really. I spoke to a few guys, but in the long run, they were all just timewasters. While I waited for his reply, I dug into my burger, letting out a physical moan of satisfaction as the taste
Andy: I go on a few dates here and there, but nothing too serious :)
Wait.. ‘’go on’’? Not ‘’been on’’?
Me: Go on?
Andy: Yeah, I’m dating some nice women, is that a problem?
He’s already dating a bunch of people?!...
Chapter FiveI didn’t even know how to respond. I instantly felt like I had my time wasted. It felt like it was already a rollercoaster ride and we only met in person and had our first date yesterday. First, he’s late, then we had a gre
Chapter Six** A Week Later **
Chapter Seven‘Where are we going?” I asked, looking out the windows, trying to see through the darkness. I lived around here, but for the life of me, I had no idea what would be this way and why he would be taking me.
Chapter EightI stayed quiet for the rest of the ride to the bowling alley, which was, annoyingly, longer than I expected due to the traffic jam. By the time we got there, we only had an hour, so we just paid for our lane and headed off to play.
Chapter NineI climbed into bed and pulled my duvet up over me. The whole room was in pitch black. I wanted the darkness, it helped me think. I had a shower when I came home… a scalding hot shower. I needed it to burn, hurt... Clean me. I brushed
Chapter TenI woke up early the next morning and just laid in bed for a little while. I had no plans today, so, was in no rush to get out of bed. I leaned over and grabbed my phone off the side. There was nothing off Andy, but that was fine, I just wante
Chapter ElevenThe food was ordered, the movie was picked and now we were cuddled up on the sofa, just talking about random things. We were waiting for dinner before we started the movie, so we wouldn’t have to get up or interrupt it once we
Chapter Twelve** A few days later **
As you can see from the title, this isn't a chapter, however, I just wanted to clear something up. This book is true, its 100% true and infact I have left a lot of things out because it would have been too much personal stuff to share. As you read the ending and remember everything you have read so far, please, just keep in mind that this actually happened to me.When you say ''She is being stupid for putting up with it'' or ''God, Hannah should just leave him'' or ''Why does she keep forgiving him'', know it actually Why didn't I leave him, why did I keep forgiving him, and honestly, because I thought I loved him and thought he loved me. Domestic violence is something you don't really realise is happening until its too late, until you already fear them too much to leave.I took a break from this book for months because it was mentally putting me in a bad place and I haven't updated this book in a week because again, it was starting to affect me.
Note: Just something to clear things up. Yes, Hannah works. You never read her working in the chapters because, well, that would be boring, but for anyone wondering how she can afford to live alone in the city, That’s why :)-----------------------------------------------------------------------------Chapter Forty-FiveAndy left as soon as we finished having sex. He said he had a coffee meeting to get to, I didn’t really care, I was just glad he was gone. This was beginning to be a pattern. Fight, fuck, forgive and forget. Shaking my head, I got out of bed and pulled all the covers off. Things had gotten quite hot and sweaty and I definitely needed to put fresh sheets on… after I had a shower...
Chapter Forty FourAndy pushed passed me and into my apartment, straight over to James. James stood his ground and showed absolutely no emotion. He wasn't intimidated by Andy… and Andy knew that. I closed the door sensing neither of them were leaving any time soon. I walked over to them and stood between the pair, wanting to keep any physical confrontation from happening.'Andy, I thought you went home" he huffed a laugh and looked at me.'Yeah, clearly. Lying to me to get home for a secret meeting with him!' I could see he was getting angry.'I didn't even know he was here until I got home'.'Not that it's any of your business, mate, but I came to wish her a happy birthday.
Note: If you think this book is boring, please stop reading it. No one is forcing you to. I’m sorry it's boring and I’m sorry that you think it's ‘’too slow’’. I assure you, I’m not dragging it out, people need to remember that abuse doesn’t just happen one day. People don’t realise they are being abused until it's too late and then they can’t see a way out. Bear that in mind before commenting; ‘’Not very realistic’’ because the truth is… this book is written, based on true events.I just wanted to make that clear to those who don’t understand what it's like to suffer domestic violence and assault.-------------------------------------------------------------------Chapter Forty Three
*TRIGGER WARNING FOR SEXUAL ASSAULT*-------------------------------------------------------Chapter Forty TwoPulling up at that large house, Andy turned the car off and got out without so much as a word. I just followed him, thinking the sooner we get in, the sooner I can make an excuse and go to bed, but he clearly had other plans.‘Right, where can I sleep?’ I asked, my voice completely void of any emotion. He pointed upstairs, but I waited for him to actually verbally clarify which room.‘My room’. I just laughed, Like, literally laughed out loud at him. He just stared at me, folding his arms.‘Wait… are you
Chapter Forty OneI really wanted to go home, now more than ever, but of course, that wasn’t an option. Every time I built up the courage to look up, he had his back to me. Good, I didn’t want him staring, But the rejection he had shown towards me so randomly was making me feel like complete and utter shit.Andy brought our drinks over and sat down next to me. I moved away from him slightly and took the drink with me. I didn’t want to be anywhere near him, he had planned this and sure, he clearly didn’t know if James would be here because he didn’t know what had happened, but, he still tricked me to get me here and that was just as bad.‘What is with you tonight?’ He asked, acting like he had no clue what was going on. I just looked at him blankly,
Chapter FortyA few weeks had passed and I was stuck in a rut. I would just mope around, not doing anything of value, then eat dinner, mope around some more, have a bath and go to bed. I wasn’t depressed, that would be dramatic, but I was… lost, I guess you’d say. I just didn’t know what to do to make myself happy anymore.I hadn’t heard from James AT ALL and I don’t know why. Well, that's not true, it was obvious why He used me for sex. Of course, I wanted to sleep with him too, but I thought that, well... To be honest, there was something more there, but I guess not.A quick fuck and then sneak out while I was sleeping, Maybe he did this with other people too, who knows. I actually thought I had made a complete fool of myself. Of course, it was just ab
Chapter Thirty Nine** A Few Hours Later **The food had arrived a little while ago and we were already two episodes deep into the tv show. It seemed strange to start on season 5 of a tv show together, but with something like American Horror Story, it didn’t really seem to matter where you started it. Every season was like a completely new show anyway.Either way, I was enjoying myself. We had good entertainment, good food and I certainly had good company. After we had eaten, we got back into the position we had been in all evening, James had his arm draped effortlessly over my shoulder and I was leaning against him, comfortably. My hand on his mid-thigh.I was so comfortable… that was… until my phone started ri
Chapter Thirty EightAs soon as I started to get ready, the hours seemed to fly by and before I knew it, James was texting me to tell me he was on his way. As soon as he did, I started panicking. What if he wasn’t as cute as I remembered?! What if I wasn’t as cute as HE remembered?!I found myself obsessively checking myself out in the mirror, hoping every time I did that i would look the same… of -fucking- course I’d look the same. I was driving myself crazy. Since we were staying in tonight, I was very confused about what I should wear. I wanted to look nice, but obviously NOT overdressed, I wanted to look cute but not like I was trying too hard.So, I went with some skinny jeans and a nice casual, yet slightly cleavage-revelling, top.