The best night of my life.

When we step into the room, it’s as if a sudden spirit comes over me suddenly, and it takes my whole confidence away. I don’t understand it, I swear. All night, I’ve been so confident in myself. And even when I knew we might end up here, I never thought twice.

But that first step I make into the wide room makes me shiver. I honestly don’t know why. I think it’s because we talked for hours and I didn’t get his name, or where he works, or anything else that can make me know him after today.

This room is simply not a room–it’s too big to be called one. If he wasn’t stinking rich, I don’t know how he’d afford this. And of course, I don’t even know if he’s a serial killer or something. And even though my mind says otherwise, what if he lied to me about himself? I don’t have any more time for what-ifs. Because he moves over to me with apprehension on his face.

“Hey, everything is okay, right? If you’ve changed your mind about this, there’s no problem. We could go back downstairs and continue chatting. Or I could leave right now and disappear. I just want to be sure that you’re comfortable. So just say the word.”

That simply does me in–the fact that he definitely isn’t pushy about everything, and just wants me to be comfortable. Though it is also what scares me. He said I can say the word and he disappears. But even if I don’t, and the obvious happens between us, he is going to disappear, I’m going to disappear from his life as well. And then this would just be a one-night-stand. It’s something I’ve never done, or ever thought I’d do. But I’ve also never been more sure of anything else.

“No, I’m okay,” I walk to the bed and gently place my purse down, biting my lips gently. I feel so shy about the whole thing, I can’t help myself. And I do not want to overthink this.

“You’ve been doing that all night, you know?” He asks with a smile.

“What’s that?” “Biting your lips. It’s so cute. Come over here.” I laugh and walk slowly to him, and gently–as if I would break if he did it otherwise–he takes my hands. “Please, if at any point, you’re not comfortable, just say the word, okay?” I nod, and I say the only thing on my mind since my mind completely blanked out on me. “Can you turn off the lights, please?” He says sure and moves to do that.

And I take a moment to adore the perfection that is this man. All wide chest, and legs that do go on for days, clean skin, and such a beautiful face, I imagine if I was an artist, I could draw him all my life, in different shades and I’d never go out of business. He did smell good enough to eat as well.

“What’s making you smile?” He says as he strides back over. “Ditto” is all I say. And he moves closer to me, not even giving me a chance to feel uneasy about the whole situation. Then he begins to talk in very low tones, I almost strain my ears.

“Do you know you have a birthmark here?” He says, slowly taking off my jean jacket, and kissing a sweet spot on my collarbone. “I noticed it when your jacket moved off your shoulders,” I try to hold back the shudder, but I’m sure we both felt it. “And here,” he says, sucking a spot on my neck that makes me moan slightly. “And here,” he says again, running his tongue down my midriff and I arch my back in response to the feel of his wet tongue on my skin.

“You’re so beautiful, you know?” That’s a question. I think he asked a question. But I can’t answer right now. I can’t seem to find the answer amidst the onslaught of feelings inside me. It’s like everything that was asleep has awoken. I can’t even hear him anymore.

And I feel myself on something soft. Am I on the bed? When did I move to the bed? Even though I’m not, it’s like I’m completely high on something. I feel several things all at once, in every part of my body. It’s never happened to me.

When I get conscious enough to open my eyes, I see that he’s still talking, and he’s getting down to taking off my jeans, kissing me lightly on every part of my body. “Oh! Beautiful. There’s another one here,” he says lightly, looking up to smile at me as he finds what I think is another birthmark on my thigh.

Then he does something I never expected, he bites me gently there, and licks the spot. I groan, sure I’m panting, and whisper under my breath to be quick. When he takes off the last of my clothing, I’m breathless, and panting heavily. And I look up at him and notice he’s still in his complete clothing, though I notice the hard outline of his penis through his pants.

“Let me… your clothes… I want…” I don’t know why my voice isn’t coherent. I think he gets the memo because he only smiles and says, “No, beautiful. Now is for you. To pleasure you till you can’t think straight anymore.” I want to tell him that I can’t think straight, or even remember my name but I don’t say a word.

Then slowly, taking all the time he has, he places his lips on mine and kisses me with all the gentleness I’ve ever been kissed with. It’s like exploring something, like unwrapping a new sweet, like watching butter melt on heat, the way he changes sides and style and I’m simply left to shiver and enjoy the kiss.

I can feel his hands, one moving softly to my breasts, the other, trailing a line from my knees upwards. It’s simply too much for me, everything that’s happening to me. I take the kiss in my own hands and kiss him with all the fervour, urgency, and everything that’s in me. I kiss him like it’d be my last. Then we both break apart and gasp for air, and he says, “I’ll come back to kissing you, for now, let me simply pleasure you.” He says that as if I had any other choice, as though if I could even find words, I’d ever tell him to stop.

At that moment, he steps back a bit, and looks at me with hunger in his eyes, I wonder if he sees me and says, as if painstakingly, “You’re so beautiful. God!” And it’s like the beast I sensed in him has woken up because he’s not so gentle anymore. I take note of the big bulge in his pants and wonder why he hasn’t taken off his clothes.

And then I feel his hands everywhere, and I wonder if he has ten hands or something. It should be illegal for someone who has just two to be able to please the human body so intensely. He drops kisses here and there on my body, then drags his hands down the same part. When he finally makes his way to my breasts, he smiles and says, “beautiful babies,” and I want to laugh out loud, but I don’t get the chance to do that because almost immediately, he takes one wholly in and I scream out loud this time.

He didn’t give me the chance to moan. Moaning is too little for what I feel, so I scream as he takes my breast in, his other hand massaging the other, toying with my nipples. I wonder briefly if I’m in heaven. And I tell myself that if this is heaven, it won’t be so bad to go there. Very quickly, he moves his attention to the other and lavishes the same tenderness and vigour, and sweetness.

Then, he gently begins to move down, kissing a path behind him, and trailing his hand from my toes upwards. I’m heavily panting and saying gibberish, probably speaking in tongues, because I don’t understand a thing I’m saying. Then his hands and mouth meet at an inner part of my thigh, and he smiles and suddenly flicks his tongue on my clitoris, and I groan deeply, bucking on the bed. He holds me gently, and reaches one hand to my breast, massaging and probably assaulting my breasts, while flicking the nub in my clit with the other.

Suddenly, he takes both hands away, and I wince gently at the sudden feeling of emptiness when he places both hands under my ass cheeks, lifts them, and dives straight in, tongue and everything.

It’s a flurry of emotion in me. It’s too much, it’s everything. It’s more than everything. I can feel his tongue, and his mouth on my pussy, and I vaguely hear my cries, but that’s all. Everything else is a buzz in my ears.

He skillfully uses his mouth to pressure me, and I’m moaning deeply, feeling too much of everything at once when suddenly, he takes out his hands and presses them to my clit. That does me in. He brings me to a beautiful orgasm as my whole body shakes and shudders with a feeling new to me, and I crest beautifully. I’m still shaking and shivering from everything when he drops a kiss on my brow, moves back and in the blink of an eye, takes off all his clothes, keeping his eyes hungrily on me.

Then he moves down to the bed and smiles briefly at me before bringing his lips back to mine. He begins to kiss me with all the hunger he’s had all night, and I kiss him equally with everything in me, wanting him to feel everything I’m feeling as well. One of his hands makes it back to my pussy, which is still recovering from the orgasm I was just given but he doesn’t mind that.

He moves apart, one hand still on my pussy, and he raises a brow as if to ask if everything is okay. I want to smile and cry at the same time, and I want to assure him that everything is more than okay. But because I don’t trust my voice at the moment, I smile and nod fervently. Then he brings his lips back to mine, moving slowly between me.

When he’s finally in me, we both groan, deeply. He begins to move, slowly, at first, and then with an urgency, I didn’t see before, he begins to move faster in me, deep thrusts that shake me to the core.

I move alongside him, and we find our pace. It’s a beautiful thing making love. Not the fucking I’d thought we would do. This is not fucking. This is everything. I feel his tenderness, even though I know he can be harder, I feel his movements. I feel everything, and it’s all faster, all spinning, then he moves a hand to my clitoris, and that does it. I moan loudly, vibrating as I come.

Almost immediately, I hear his–deep, long, and guttural, as he joins me. After he pulls out of me, he gently cleans me and lays down to join me, kissing both my eyebrows and holding me tenderly. I hold him just as tightly.

There are so many unspoken words between us, so many things I want to say. But for the first time in my life, I’m left speechless. And we both stay that way, holding ourselves like it’s the last because we both know it is–the first and last time.

When sleep finally comes, I blink my eyes rapidly as if to stop it, it's a coping mechanism of some sort for me. Because I know when I wake up, he’d be gone. So I simply close my eyes, and say, “I’m Tessa,” breaking our unspoken rule of not mentioning names, yet saying ‘thank you’ in a way saying it could never have mattered.