Spilling to the girls (Chapter 6)

"Girl, you're definitely kidding!" Vera laughs hysterically, making Jose join her.

"No, wait. Common! The man hit on you? Like continually? Guys, don't laugh. Stop now, don't laugh," but Tolani keeps on laughing as she's talking. And since I dropped the bomb, Kaisha hasn't been able to say a thing, she's been too busy laughing. She only asked if he was indeed bald and then fired up her laughter. 

I do blame myself for springing it up on them. I was just going to mention it like a passing thought since what I actually wanted to tell them was Jose still working at the school. And now, in our once-weekly or whenever-we-can virtual meeting, they're all laughing.

"Guys, stop. I trust Tess to hold her own against any bald lover-man, or boss," Jose chokes out and they all go another round laughing. But she continues, "Y'all, I wanted to tell you something else. Something sweet. You see, our girl here has a loverrrrr boy." She drags out and I groan and start walking to the room but Jose pulls me back and sits me right on the chair. All the girls on the other hand are literally screaming their lungs out. I hear a 'you don't mean it's and a 'holy fuck' which is most likely our resident abroadian, Vera, I also hear a 'girllll, spill this gist' and a whole lot more rambling. I just bury my head in my hands because I know I'll not hear the end of it, especially from Tolani, and Vera, in fact all of them.

"Soooooo, our baby girl here," Jose starts and I stand again. "can I at least not be here? Jose, please. And what I'll do to you!" I fume out but Tolani is quick to shout out from her side of the phone, "Girl if you don't sit your ass down! You're so down to hear all our sexcapades but why can't we hear yours? Jose baby, continue please."

"Oh damn, gladly," she says as she pulls up a big glass of wine which actually makes me laugh out loud. "You know, today it's my day. Tomorrow, it'll be yours, don't worry. I'll make sure our next meeting, Jose will be the topic."

"Na you know o. Today, it's you. Soooooo, girls, our girl had the damn best sex of her life over at Joe's the other day." Which of course, earns a lot of hoots and screams and a whole lot more. 

"Tessa, you didn't! Who was the guy, how long have y'all been together?" "How could you keep this from us, Tess?"

"You guys, calm down. It wasn't… we weren't… we were not together. We are not." I say as I stand up feeling suddenly overwhelmed and I get a glass of wine for myself. 

"What do you mean by that?" Tolani barks out but before Jose can explain, Kaisha speaks, "I think I know what she means. Baby, Tess, what exactly happened? Or you know what, Jose, tell us what you know."

Obviously happy to do the deed, Jose starts, "So star girl over here and I went to Joe's, you remember Joe's right? And you know, she was feeling a bit down but I left her to flex and went to have some fun for myself. Until I came back and met her having the time of her life, you know, chatting, gisting, smiling and laughing so hard, with this hot spec of a man. Freaking hot guys! I didn't see him well but trust me, if I'd seen him earlier, I'd have jumped on that." She declares and the girls hoot and laugh. "But I'm a girl's girl, and trust me our girl right here, she's not been getting any for a long time so I decide to excuse her. You know, so she can have some fun. Guys, I don't see our girl till the freaking next day when she walks the walk of shame back home… y'all hold on!" She screams because everybody else is screaming and I'm just head buried in my hands trying not to scream along. 

"Let me finish noww! Okay, so I pretend not to see lover girl, you know, she can be shy and I'm not trying to make her feel shy or something, so I don't say anything. Guess what, star girl over here doesn't say anything as well. For a fucking week! Guys! I was dying to know the deets but our girl takes her sweet time. And when she finally tell me. Oh my God! When she finally spills the tea, I figure a week was damn well enough time to get over the best freaking sex of her life!"

It's as if they all want to jump out of the phone into my face because everybody is talking at the same time and I can't hear shit and at this point, I'm laughing as well because Jose definitely should go into storytelling. 

"Guys, ah, you all should just calm down. See, Josephine has blown everything out of proportion."

"I didn't blow shit, tell us what happened. Spill it to the girls!" 

So I do that. I do just that. They are my girls anyway, and there's no way I'm getting away with pretending. So I explain everything that happened and how I feel, and how I told him my name and just everything. I don't know but my voice kind of takes on a sad note eventually, and they all hear it.

When I'm done, Kaisha is the first to speak. "Aw, baby. My poor baby. How're you holding up?"

"What do you mean, how is she holding up? Girlll, I'll smack your ass if we were together. You just had the best damn sex—no, lovemaking, and night in general—of your life, and you're sitting here moping, letting some bald-headed boss hit on you when you could be hitting that??? Theresa Thompson, just get your whole ass off that couch and find that man. Your coochie needs some loving, don't you know?" Even though I didn't think it was possible, I burst out into laughter because what the hell does she mean by coochie? What is Vera's problem exactly? I facepalm myself and say, "it's not that easy. I don't even know his name for crying out loud. Guys, we're not even talking about the fact that this could have been risky, you know? Well, I made damn sure he was okay seeing as he told me everything about himself but his goddamn name, he did tell me things, important things, and I just… I felt safe, which is new for me. But no, if he wanted me, or enjoyed what we had as much as I did, he'd be looking for me. Hell, he'd have found me. How many Tessas do we have? Y'all, just drop it, please." I suddenly feel weary because it's like my mind is playing tricks on me and he really would have found me if he was interested in me. 

Well, trust Tolani to not give me a chance to feel sorry as she suddenly screams from her end of the phone. "No, girl. You're not going to do that. I can see the pity-party look on your face and there's nothing pitiable about it. There sure is something partiable cos you finally ticked off something on our bucket list for you. But," she shouts as she sees I wanted to interrupt because why the hell do they have a bucket list for me?

"But it is no time to feel sorry. If anything, it's his loss and he should be feeling sorry for not finding you all this while. And now, we're going to drink a glass of wine, and forget about him and cheers to you having a good time regardless."

So we do that, The girls, my girls. I miss us all so badly but these weekly calls keep me sane. And speaking of calls, I remember my mother said to call her after the interview which I almost forgot. I miss my mother as well and even though we are miles apart, I try to call her every day, or at least every week. 

She picks on the first ring, my mother.

"Hello, baby. How are you doing?"

That question holds a lot, and my mother worries about me a lot, so instead of complaining and ranting about it all, I simply say I'm fine.

"Are you sure, you don't sound fine? Was it the interview? Baby, don't worry, you'll get a better one, I promise."

"No mom, not the interview, that went well. And I'm fine. The interview is fine. They sent a welcome email already and I resume on Monday. I'm okay. How are you doing? Hope you're not bored and missing me?"

"Of course, I'm missing you. Not bored, but I miss you. Just take your time and come and see me, I miss your face." Of course, I knew my mother would say that. Our bond is… just unique. Ever since my father left, it's been us. Just us both against the world. She's a beautiful strong, independent woman. Everything that I want to be. And I'm proud to have her as my mom. And as that thought comes to my mind, I realize I don't say it often enough.

"Mom, are you still there?" I ask as we're about to say our byes and end the call.

"Yes, baby. I am. Do you need anything?" 

"No, mom. I just wanted to remind you how proud I am of you. And I love and miss you so much." Close to tears, my mother says it right back before we end the call.

And when it's just me left in the room as Jose has slept a while ago, I breathe in and out. Sometimes, I feel like that's my favourite time of the day. When everything is cool, calm, and everyone is asleep and I can see and hear myself. Just me and my thoughts. So as I lay down just wanting to breathe in the air, I think of my strange man, where he is and what he's doing at the moment. I think of what I'd do if I saw him or if he suddenly appeared at our door, and lastly, I think of Jose's question when we'd ended the call. "So what will you do now?" 

I'd be damned if I know the answer. What I do know is that I'll get ready and go to work and just be good, and not wait on some fairytale man to pick me up.