The confession.

"Tess, are you okay?" it's my best friend. Since we got home after that night, she's been unusually weird and she said it's me that's being weird. How?

Well, maybe because we usually talk about everything yet I haven't said a word about what happened the other day and she hasn't asked. It's just crazy but everything will be fine. I just don't want her to fret that I had the best sex and time of my life with a handsome nameless stranger. And trust Josephine to be really scared at that. She knows that no matter how bad bitch I am, I'm still a softie and a traditional lover girl at heart. However, I have to make sure she doesn't worry. Not that I won't tell her, but not yet. I honestly don't know what I'm waiting for, maybe to be sure it's not a dream since but I guess it's not cos dreams have never been so happy for me. And that was way too vivid to be a dream. But then, I also think that if it were a dream, I wouldn't have wanted to wake up so soon because why would life be that perfect and…

"Hello! Earth to Tessa. What's going on?" Jose says, looking really bothered, and this time I smile, hoping it looks real enough to believe and when it looks as if all is clear, I finally speak to reassure her that it's really okay. "Jose, I am fine. It's nothing. Let me have my bath and we'll talk." I say as I get down from the bed and trudge down to the bathroom. I consider what Jose thinks is wrong with me because I honestly don't think anything is wrong, at least not from the outside. I just don't understand why I feel this way myself. It's been a week already and that night still feels unreal. The fact that I assumed I'd be over it already is enough proof that I should never have put my hands there in the first place. It just shouldn't be this hard though. I'm sure he's somewhere else with a pretty lady, or well just doing something that doesn't concern me and I'm here moping like a kid who lost her shoe. 

Maybe it's because I am a lot of things and I have a lot of traits, but having a steeled heart is not one. And if Jose can think that something is wrong with me because of that night, then I need to do better. I decide to put it all out of my mind. After all, I'm not the first person to have a one-night stand.

When I get out of the bathroom, I walk straight to the kitchen and see Jose making omelettes and pancakes, one of my favourites. "Mmmm, yummmmmm," She looks up and laughs widely.

"Common take your seat!"

I plop onto the chair on the counter and smile up at her as she makes pancakes with my name. "That smells so heavenly, ughhhhh. Godddd." I say, sniffing the air and making her laugh. And then I decide to say something that she doesn't always want to hear it consider.

"Josephine, just hear me out. You're so good at this. Why not just… I don't know, just make it a business? Wait," I say as I see her obvious eye roll, a clear notation that she doesn't want to go there again. We've danced this dance a million times over already. But I continue regardless.

"You bake and cook so well yet every day you go out to teach! Jose, teach. You went to culinary school, for Christ's sake," I ignore her, "it was only for a month" and I continue.

"Even if you didn't go, you've always been good with your hands. I don't know, I just feel like you're wasting this talent but cooking and baking only here. I don't know, Jose." I shrug and pick at the pancakes she's now put at my front. 

She sighs deeply, and for a minute I almost hate myself for bringing it up but I just couldn't help myself. Girl's too good. Then as if she's tired of having the conversation, she drags a stool and sits on it and starts talking. "Tess, we've talked about this. You and I both know that I want this more than anything else in the world. Anything. But where's the money? Money is not going to fly, Tess. And you know it. The little savings we gather, we pay to this stupid landlord that we have with his insane increase every month. The teaching job keeps me sane at least, and I like it. If I didn't, I'd not even be there. Sure, the pay is wack but it's something at least. It's something. And till I'm able to save enough to open a new shop, get a food truck or something, I'll have to keep on teaching, and…" she stops as I want to interrupt and say something. "No, Tess. Just drop it. And how are we talking about me when we're supposed to be talking about you? Girl, how did you do that? Just start spilling, start talking."

Instead of coming up with some witty comeback or something, I just blurt out, "we had sex."

Nothing could have prepared me for Jose almost choking. I mean, I know she'd be shocked by choking. Come on. "Have some water, you naughty head and stop making me feel like a prude."

She finally calms down enough to scream the building down. "Girl, what the fuck? What!!! You had sex with a stranger and you've kept it away from me for a week? Was it that good? And what were you thinking? Tess, a stranger! Do you even know his name? And I'm not judging but I never pegged you, my sweet and hoooooly friend, to do a one-night stand." She laughs at my obvious shock at what she's saying but she continues. "I'm sorry, just pulling your legs. I like it for you, but that's if you enjoyed it, so did you?" She says, waiting to hear the whole scoop.

I just sigh unconsciously when I want to laugh it off instead. And trust Jose, she only says, "that bad, huh." And I don't even know when I start laughing. I laugh so hard I almost cry. "Yeah, Jose. Yeah, that bad. Best fucking night of my life. And I don't know his name."

Jose whistles at first—something she's annoyingly good at—then she says, "start from the beginning. From when we left this house, I'm all ears." 

So I start, I tell her everything that happened, how it made me feel, and how I don't know what to think of it, how I don't know for sure if he heard my name. It's all so weird, talking about it, yet it feels normal. 

When I'm done, Jose just looks at me, smiles her pretty smile and gives me such a warm deep hug I want to cry. "I'd give you an ass spanking for not telling me earlier. But that was so… I can't find words. I can't find words and holy shit—she says as she sees the time—that's because I'm late. Damn! Love you, baby, we'll talk when I get back. Bye!" And then she's gone. 

I sink deeper, if that's possible, wondering how I even got myself here. Instead of drowning myself in what could have been, I decide to focus on what is and what I'd going to happen. I check the time and I see why Jose ran out that way. 8:15 am! Her boss is one of the most time-conscious people I know and I laugh out loud thinking of how she'd get through explaining her lateness, and how I'll explain mine if I let that happen. 

I've been jobless for some time, which is part of what caused my momentary depression, but I've been applying for jobs and I'm scheduled for an interview by 10:00 am today, which I was going to tell Jose cos we've been praying for forever for one. But I completely forgot and I'd tell her when she gets back. That's not what's so important now though, and my only thought as I clean up is what the hell I'd do at an interview I'm not too sure I'm prepared for. Anyhow, I just hope I get the job, I desperately need one.

One hour later when I step in front of the mirror, it's with serious thanks that the company is not too far and I've been able to do a brush up. As I walk out of the house to hail a cab, my mind wanders again.