Chapter 3

Alyvia POV

       Then, there I was, standing in front of the mirror in my hotel suite, admiring my wedding gown. It was perfect for a fall wedding. It had been a sheer fabric with a thick floral vine pattern on it. It came clear up my neck & was long sleeved with the back cut out. It was form fitting & turned into a silk form fitting skirt with a high slit that ran up my left leg to my hip with a 2 foot train that flowed behind me as I walked. The front was sheer as well, with the thick floral pattern running perfectly over my nipples so you couldn't see them through the sheer fabric. It was flawless & I had looked beautiful in it.

     My hair was in twisted up into an elegant updo that allowed for my flowing curls to come out of the top & cascade down. My veil was attached to the tiara that I wore, which had been my second wedding weekend present from Nick, & it had been pulled over my face just before I entered the hall. I had worn a blue garter, & just before I had put on my dress, Nick's mother came in to lend me a beautiful white gold & diamond bracelet. His little sister Nadia stood behind me, gushing over how beautiful I looked.

     I remember how I kept getting surges of emotions that made me wish my family was there, but the rational part of me had known that they couldn't be. This was just a job. I had to keep reminding myself of that as I prepared to be married. I had told Nick that I was orphan with no siblings. That my parents had died in a car accident when I was 16, so he hadn’t expected my family to be there. His family had tried to compensate for my family's absence, but I had still yearned for them to be here.

      I knew they couldn't be, so I had taken pictures of myself in the mirror to send to my little sister. Of all my siblings, she was the only one who never judged my choices. All of my older siblings are perfect. They have the perfect careers, the perfect spouses, and the perfect lives. My mother had donned me her wild child when I was only 8 years old. I still remember the night I overheard my mom & oldest sister talking about me when I was only 15 years old. My oldest sister, Rosalie, or Rosie as we call her, had told my mom that she had better hope that I went away to college and actually stayed there so I didn't corrupt my younger siblings. My mom laughed & said she had no idea how I had ended up so wild.

     So I left at 18. I went away to college, but I dropped out at the end of the first term. When I went home for Christmas & everyone acted shocked that I was still in college, so I never did tell them I dropped out. Instead I got in my car when the break was over & drove. I made it to Atlanta, got a job & lived out of my car for 6 months until I finally saved enough to get a rundown apartment in a terrible neighborhood. But that apartment was where I decided to start my own business of dishing out Karma to those who needed it.

    I made some flyers at the library & posted them in middle class beauty salons. That's when I started really making money. You'd be surprised at how vindictive women can be. Once I saved up enough money, I ordered real business cards & moved into a better part of the city. I walked into a high class salon & the receptionist immediately knew I didn't belong there & started to kick me out. I asked her if I could just leave my cards & she asked me what they were for & I told her. She gave me my first good paying job & let me leave my business cards there. She even handed them out to her friends after I finished the job.

    The job was easy enough. Meet her husband, let him take me out & let her know where we'd be so she could get pictures & proof of him cheating. She took half of everything & paid me 10k. After that, life was easier, & I've been good, for the most part, ever since. I haven't talked to any of my family in a long time though. At least not since I had started this job a year ago.

     My little sister is a hacker, so I call her after each job & she hacks into my target’s phones & scrubs them for me. I send her a grand for each scrub. When the rest of my family found out what I did for a living they were appalled. I went home for Christmas with nice gifts for everyone a few years later & when they asked how I could afford them, I told them the truth. My sister Renee told me I had no right playing God & gave my gift back to me.

    That hurt, but not as much as seeing the disappointment in my oldest brother's eyes. He didn't say anything hurtful, just shook his head with such disappointment in his eyes. Robbie was the oldest of all of us & had always been my hero. I never went back home after that. I stayed in touch with my little sister Ryleigh though. She was the only one who never judged me.

     None of those painful memories stopped me from wishing they could be there though. Robbie should have been there to walk me down the aisle that day, since my dad bailed on us when I was only 6. I have 7 siblings. 4 brothers & 3 sisters. 2 of my sisters & 2 of my brothers are older than me. My oldest brother, Robert, or Robbie as I call him, is 10 years older than me, Rosie is 8yrs older, Ray (Raymond) is 6yrs older, & Renee is 4yrs older. Their dad died when Renee was only 1. Then, a couple years later my mom met my dad & they had me, then Ronnie (Ronald Jr.) who is 2yrs younger than me, then Ryleigh who is 4yrs younger than me, then Ricky (Richard), who is 6yrs younger than me. I'm the oldest of us younger kids.

My dad bailed before Ricky was even born. Mom always said that he couldn't handle that many kids, but if he couldn't handle it, why did he keep knocking her up? Maybe that's why I have always been so hell bent on getting revenge for women who have been wronged by men. Maybe I just had terrible daddy issues. Regardless, I had decided then that when this was over & I walked away with Nick's money, I would retire & go home. That’s still the plan. I’ll buy myself some land on the outskirts of the city & settle down close enough to home to be near family, but far enough away so I don't have to deal with their insults.

When they told me it was time, I took a deep calming breath, snapped one more picture of me in my dress, & walked out the door to meet my soon-to-be ex-husband at the altar. I took my place behind the big oak doors & Nadia handed me my bouquet before adjusting my veil over my face. I stood there anxiously waiting for them to open up, so I could get this over with. I remember being hopeful that the next year would fly by as quickly as the first did. This job had already really taken a toll on me, & I was ready to be done with this type of work.

      The doors opened up as the band started playing an instrumental of Beyoncé's Ave Maria, & Nadia walked down the aisle. She looked absolutely beautiful in the lavender backless gown I had picked for her. Her dress had long sleeves too, but the front dipped down to her cleavage & had no designs on it. It was solid & form fitting like mine, without the high slit, as hers only went halfway up her thigh. From the back, she could have easily been Ryleigh, so in that moment I allowed myself to pretend she was.

     When she made it to the front, I started my walk down the aisle. I tried to keep my eyes facing directly in front of me, but they trailed to Nick who was standing there grinning from ear to ear. I smiled back at him & watched as a tear fell out his eye & rolled down his face. His eyes held so much love & adoration for me that I had started to feel nauseous. I had to remind myself that he did this to Jazmine. He destroyed her by not loving her back & he deserved this, I reminded myself. I kept my smile plastered on my face as I approached him, though I let my eyes roamed over him. He had been dressed in a light grey 3 piece suit, with a lavender vest & tie. His sparkling green eyes stood out through his tanned skin. He had shaved, but his light brown goatee remained. He had cut his hair so low that his head appeared shaved, with his light brown hair blending into his tanned skin.

     He had lifted my veil & kissed my cheek, whispering that I looked beautiful. All of his friends & family were in attendance for this event, & I couldn't help but wonder if they had been there just two and half years ago for his wedding to Jasmine as well. Sure, at that point he had told me that he had been married before, but he was very vague on the details. He said that it wasn't meant to be & that it just didn't work out, not knowing that I already knew all the dirty details of his misdeeds. I pretended like I understood and made up my own story about an engagement gone awry.

     As he stood there in front of me, clutching my hands in his own, I couldn't help but wonder for the very first time, if he would love me the same if he knew who I really was, or if he only loved the girl I pretended to be. As he slid that beautiful white gold band on my finger, I knew that he only loved me because I created this image of me specifically for him to fall in love with. I was his dream girl in every way, perfect for him. That was the job. I had to remind myself of that as I repeated after the preacher who was officiating. I said my ‘I do,’ & slid the band on his finger.

          The officiant pronounced us husband and wife, telling Nick he could kiss his bride, and he did. Nick had placed his soft lips on mine & I opened my mouth to allow him entry as people cheered. We had discussed only using a little tongue beforehand because we had wanted to keep it classy. He broke the kiss & his green eyes sparkled as he smiled down at me. I  had giggled as he raised our banded hands for the guests to see. He had been so happy in that moment, not knowing that I was going to destroy this memory exactly a year later, just as he had done to Jasmine. But his smile was contagious, so I had smiled from ear to ear too.

Nick had insisted that I have a dress for each phase of the wedding, so I had my wedding dress, my cocktail dress & my reception dress. I then had an outfit to wear to the airport, since we left for our honeymoon that evening. Each of my dresses were beautiful, and I had been sure to keep all 3 of them when I left him. My cocktail dress was perhaps my favorite of them all. The corset was embroidered with pearls & crystals, while the skirt was a mid-thigh length satin & chiffon, with pearls & crystals embroidered at the hem. It was strapless, & perfect to wear until the sun set & the reception began.

    I remembered the way Nick had stepped back after zipping it & spun me to face him as he admired my body. The look in his beautiful green eyes had been panty dropping. I had raised an eyebrow at him as he licked his lips & adjusted himself while he admired me. Though he had shifted the fabric of his pants, I could still see the outline of his fully erect penis through them. I had to tell him that we had a hundred guests along with his parents waiting on us downstairs to calm him.

    He had always been so attentive towards me, & I couldn't understand how he had been so heartless towards Jazmine. It was like she & I had two completely different husbands, though we had both married the same man. He was completely different towards me than he had been with her, & I hadn't planned for him to be this attentive & affectionate towards me. It had made it that much harder to walk away from him.

     "Your so God-damned beautiful. How did I possibly get this lucky?" He had whispered to me as he pulled me into him.

       He gently kissed my shoulder before standing up straight to unpin my veil from my tiara. I rember thinking that he won't be thinking that in a year. That in a year, he would be wondering how he was so unlucky to have crossed paths with me, karma incarnate. I had to keep reminding myself of my purpose with him that day, because I knew I'd completely lose myself in him if I didn’t. I suppose that’s where I went wrong. I quit reminding myself that it was a job. I let my guard drop, and I fell for him too.

       As disgustingly imperfect as he had been for Jazmine, he was twice as perfect for me. He always made sure I knew where he was & what he was doing. He always asked me to meet him when the guys wanted to go out for drinks after work or asked me to grab food & come to the office when he had to work late. I wondered then if he might change after the honeymoon, if he would become the insensitive, uncaring bastard that he had been to her. But he never did, not even when I pushed him to it.

     I had changed my shoes into a gorgeous pair of silver Lou Boutin's before standing in front of the mirror to check myself out. Satisfied with how great I looked, I went to grab my phone from the vanity it sat on. Nick had grabbed my hand with my phone in it, & tugged my phone out of my grasp, smiling as those sparkling green eyes raked up & down my body.

     "I'll take them baby. Give me some poses." He had smirked at me.

       I giggled as I backed up towards the dark blue curtains that hung over the floor to ceiling windows. I struck a couple poses as he encouraged me, telling me how beautiful & gorgeous I looked. He had been in photographer mode as he moved around & crouched down to get the perfect angles. When he thought he had more than a few good ones he handed me back my phone so I could check them. He hadn’t been kidding, he had gotten some exceptional shots of me, & I looked amazing in them. I couldn't wait to send all these pictures to Ryleigh. I hadn't talked to her in almost a year, since shortly after I started this job. She had thought I was crazy too but promised not to tell any of our siblings what I was up to.

Once the cocktail hour was finally over, we had gone back up to the suite & Nick helped me change into my final dress of the night. The last one was simple & elegant. It had been a white silk gown with a dip at my breasts showing just a bit of cleavage. The back was silk strings that came from the shoulders & crisscrossed between my shoulder blades & down my back before tying into a bow at the small of my back.

     There were no ornate details on that one, just elegant, beautiful simplicity. It had a mid-thigh slit, & the train on it was only about 8 inches with my feet flat on the ground, making it only about 5 with my heels on. I had worn simple heels too. They were only 2 inches high, giving me more freedom to dance & move around in. Nick had been kind enough to take more pictures of me with my phone before we headed down to the reception area to have our first look & have the photographer take some shots of us together there as well.

     Nick's best friend Josh, who had been his best man, his sister & his parents were all present for our first look at the reception area. It had turned out absolutely perfect. The flowers, the wedding favors, the place settings & name cards, it was perfect. We had taken pictures, some elegant & formal, some of us all just goofing around, & then the lighting coordinator turned the lights down low to where they would be during the reception. It was dark except for the soft golden glow of the lights on the centerpieces & around the ceiling. There was a spotlight that lit up our initials that had been placed on the floor in gold leaf. It was beautiful.

      We had all exited the room so that the guests could flow in & sat in a conference room while we waited. I used that time to send my little sister the pictures that I had been making sure to get all day. I sent her a few of each dress before sending her a really good selfie of Nick & I, that he had insisted on taking before giving my phone back. As I looked through the pictures I sent her after receiving her reply, I realized exactly what her text message meant.

Ryleigh: You look awfully happy & radiant!

Ryleigh: You didn't get in too deep did you? This is just part of the job, right?

Ryleigh: I'm just saying, that man is fine & I wouldn't blame you if you decided to ditch the job & keep the man.

     I knew she was right when I read the messages, but I just deleted them. I thought I could allow myself a few months of happiness. I thought I could pull myself back from whatever feelings I allowed myself to have. I know better now. I fell for my target, and now my heart was paying the price. But, I still completed the job, and that was what mattered. My heart would heal, it’s been through much worse and managed to heal, so I knew it would this time too. I just had to get through the part where it hurt like hell first, but eventually, it would heal.