Chapter 6

Rozelynn/Lyvie POV

          I was on an important call with one of my liquor distributors when Remi called repeatedly, forcing me to cut the call short. I almost had them talked down to the price I wanted to be at too, but at least I’d managed to get them to a 4% mark down. That was better than what I was originally paying. I called Remi back to see what he wanted. I didn’t even know that he had left the building, but the fact that he had kept calling instead of coming into my office said he had.

          “You called several times?” I asked him when he answered on the second ring.

          “Yea, there’s an issue with Selah down here at the Inn. Apparently she had decided to claim some random guest as her daddy, and the guy is just weird. Renee called the bar, so I came to get her, but she freaked out, starting screaming that it wasn’t time for her to leave yet because you said so, like she does, and latched onto the guy, like she does. It’s just weird and it’s not ok, but he’s holding her and telling her she doesn’t have to go anywhere until her mom comes to get her, so you should probably get down here.” He blurted out.

          I didn’t even respond as I hung up the phone and grabbed my keys. Some random weird guy was holding my baby, what the fuck is Renee doing down there? She was supposed to be watching her. But now this weirdo guy has my baby girl. He could have done anything to her, though I don’t think Renee would allow that to happen, but why was this creep holding my daughter? I had so many questions as I flew through the streets to get to my little girl.

          I pulled up to the Bed & Breakfast I had bought for my sister when I moved back to town 5 years ago and jumped out of the car. The building had been run down when I bought it, but we had managed to renovate it back to a livable condition and turn it into a bed and breakfast that Renee and Ricky ran. Robbie, Ryleigh and I focused on the Restaurant, while Rosie was still working at the hospital. Ray was working family law in D.C. and Ronnie had been traded to the Grizzlies the same year I moved back home, so he was living in Memphis. We were all happy & enjoying our lives. I made sure Mama retired as soon as I moved back home. Usually she would be watching Selah, but she was in D.C. until Friday because she had spent last weekend there with Ray’s kids while him and his wife Claire went to some alumni gathering.

          I made my way through the building, looking for my little girl, when I saw Remi leaning against the door frame of the library. He saw me and nodded into the library to let me know that my little girl was in there with that weirdo. I stomped up the hallway furious, intending to give this creep a thorough chewing out before threatening him with my older brothers, but as soon as I stepped into that doorway I couldn’t breathe. There, sitting in a chair with my little girl curled up on his lap was Nick, her actual father.

          I completely froze as all rational thought left my mind. Part of me wanted to run far away from him, but the other part wanted to curl up next Selah on his lap. I stared into those gorgeous sea green eyes of his and I was completely lost in the waves of emotions that he sent through me. I wanted to cry, and scream at him for being here, but I also wanted to wrap my arms around him and tell him how much I’ve missed him. My heartbeat drummed in my ears as I thought of all the explaining I would have to do. My mind wondered back to our wedding day, and once again I found myself wondering if he could love me when he found out who I really was. I knew I had no right to wonder such things as I stood there next to my husband, but I did.

          Renee broke the awkward silence by explaining that Selah thought this man was her dad because he has eyes like hers. I had always known that Selah was highly intuitive. She saw his eyes and knew that they were exactly like hers, so he was her dad. I have always told her that she has the exact same eyes her dad has. I told Renee that he is her dad without ever breaking eye contact with him. I looked into his eyes, and I saw the storm forming, the pain of all I’d done to him was rising to the surface and my guilt began eating me alive. I took a deep breath as I broke eye contact with him, feeling terrible for the pain I’d put him through. I waited for him to cuss me out and tell me how fucked up of a person I am, but instead, all I heard him say was that our little girl was perfect.

          He stood up and walked towards me, stopping in front of me while he held our sleeping little girl in his arms. I looked up at him and he smiled that devilishly handsome, panty dropping smile at me. It took everything in me to keep my feet still, so I didn’t throw my arms around him. I sure did want to though. Having him standing here in front of me, seeing him hold our little girl, it just felt right. I smiled back at him as he stood there watching me. I wasn’t sure what to say to him, so I just gave him a weak smile.

          “How are you? You look well.” He asked softly as he held our sleeping daughter.

          “I am, I’m good. What about you? How have you been?” I asked him as I admired the way he looked with our little girl in his arms.

          “I’ve been miserable if I’m being completely honest. I’ve missed you everyday for the past 5 years.” He said boldly as he stared at me intensely.

          I wanted to tell him that I missed him too, that there hadn’t been a day that went by that I didn’t think about him and miss what we had over the past five years, but Remi put his arm around my waist, reminding that I’d made a choice to move on shortly after Selah was born. I made the choice for her, to give her a family, though I’d never allowed her to call Remi daddy. She knew that Remi wasn’t her daddy, but he was still the male role model in her life that she could count on. I’d wanted her to have that, to see a man who loved her mother completely.

          “Uh, Nick this is my husband Remi. Remi, babe, this is Nick, my first husband.” I introduced the two of them because I wasn’t sure how to reply to Nick’s confession.

          Sure he missed me, but he didn’t know the real me. If he knew me the way Remi knew me, he’d probably try to take Selah and run far, far away. But he didn’t know that side of me, the dark parts. Granted, I’d done a lot of therapy over the years to fix the broken parts of myself, but there were some parts that were just too damaged to be fixed. The best I could hope for was to just learn to accept them and be ok with who I am. And I was trying, more and more every day.

          The two of them said their nice to meet you’s, but they didn’t shake hands since Nick was holding Selah. I knew if he tried to put her down she would wake up immediately, so I just let him hold her. He didn’t seem to mind though, he seemed proud and happy to have her, and I was happy that the two of them had each other now.

          “How did you find me?” I asked him curiously.

          He smiled at me before he turned to walk back to the recliner he was in when I got here. He laid Selah down gently, and when she started to wake, he hushed her and told her that daddy wasn’t leaving her. She calmed from his voice and fell back to sleep. He turned around to face me and chuckled before speaking.

          “I searched for you for a year and a half after the divorce. Every time I though I had a lead, it would be a dead end, or my hackers couldn’t get through the firewalls. So, finally, with the encouragement of everyone I know, I gave up. Then I go to work yesterday morning, and Josh tells me that he accidentally found you.” He said as he laughed.

          “As it turns out, your brother attended the same fraternity alumni event this weekend that Josh did. And, because that’s obviously not enough information for him to just know that you are his college buddy’s little sister right?…. Well, turns out his wife- yea, Josh got married, but his wife actually knows you too, and was asking your brother about you, which made him pull up pictures of you on his phone. That’s when Josh realized that you were, well, you. You were his wife’s college roommate the first term of freshman year at Columbia. Her name is Maddie, remember her?” He spoke as he smiled brightly, causing his gorgeous eyes to sparkle.

          I couldn’t believe that after all the trouble I’d went through to cover my tracks, they had accidentally found me because Josh strangely enough, ended up married to pre-med barbie. That was what Ryleigh had nicknamed Maddie when she had seen pictures of her on my phone. Rooming with Maddie was the only thing that had made college bearable for me. I hated going to class, but on the weekends Maddie and I would go to all the parties we could and dance all night. She was the only person I missed when I decided to drop out.

          “Pre-Med Barbie. That’s what my little sister nicknamed her when she saw her.” I laughed.

          He laughed his hearty, chest rumbling laugh that I had missed hearing. He only laughed that hard when I caught him off guard by saying something unexpected. He shook his head at me as he tried to contain his laughter.

         

          “That’s Doctor Barbie to you missy.” He laughed even harder, causing me to laugh harder.

          “I should have fucking known that Josh and Ray were in the same fraternity. Fucking Nerds. Both of them.” I said shaking my head.

          “I’m sure once Josh realized who I was, he told Maddie, who was able to tell him quite a bit about me. Especially if Ray told her that I finally moved back home. She always did have a good memory, so no doubt she remembered that this place was my home, which is how you ended up here.” I told him as I walked over to the chair where Selah was sleeping and lifted her up to sit down before laying her over me.

          “He said once he knew that you were Ray’s little sister he wasn’t going to say anything to Maddie or to me. Then Ray told her that you finally came home after going through a terrible divorce, and that you came home pregnant. He said that all the doctors told you that you should abort, that carrying a baby could kill you with the amount of scar tissue you had on your uterus, but that you refused to abort because the baby was the only thing you had left of your husband. He told her that all your siblings were furious with you for not aborting, and that you suffered a placental abruption, bled out and almost died. That your oldest sister had to cut you open on the bathroom floor to save both your lives. When Josh found out about Selah, and what you went through to bring her into this world, he knew he had to tell me, that I deserved to know about her.” He told me softly as he watched me intensely.

          “I regret nothing. She is my whole world.” I whispered back to him as I leaned down and kissed her chubby little cheek.

          I looked up to find both him and Remi staring at me intensely. It was as I was laying in the hospital bed, recovering from surgery that Remi confessed his love for me. It wasn’t long after I woke up, that he was holding my hand, crying, telling me how scared he had been that he would lose me. He told me that he loved me more than I would ever know, and that I would never have to be alone with him if I let him in and gave him a chance to love me. I had told him then that I was still in love with Nick, but he had been willing to wait for me to be ready to move on. When I finally decided to let him be a part of my life it wasn’t because I was over Nick, it was because I knew that no matter how much I wanted him, I couldn’t have him. So, I moved on with Remi.