Mag-log inShare
Chapter Nineteen
Huling Na-update:
2024-08-01 13:05:02Kaugnay na kabanata
The Groomless Bride Chapter Twenty
“Aalis ka na? Just like that?” Troy asked me. I nodded. My work here is done. It wasn’t my intention to pop out of nowhere. I know when my presence isn’t welcome and I don’t want to lay burden on people I’ve hurt in the past. I contemplated many times, wondering if I should see Cass… It was shameless of me, but I did. Regrets? Hindi ko alam. I’m sorry if I hurt her by showing my face again but I wasn’t sorry I saw her again. Ilang taon ko ding hiniling na makita siya ulit, even from afar. But I needed to say I’m sorry because I really was… I still am. “I'm leaving later but before that, I still have one last thing to do.” “Ano naman iyon?” “Something.” “Fine. Bahala ka nga. Don’t tell me.” Napailing na lang ako as Troy pretended to sulk and walked out of my temporary office. As soon as he left the room, I opened the drawer. I got a pen and paper. The blank page was so intimidating even when I already knew what to write. Napabuntong-hininga ako and stared at the blank page for
Huling Na-update : 2024-08-09The Groomless Bride Chapter Twenty-one
CASSI felt so dizzy and weak in my knees that I felt the need to grab on something not to lose balance. Pakiramdam ko, hihimatayin ako. Gusto kong buhusan ang sarili ko ng malamig na tubig to either feel numb or to wake up from this nightmare.I should do something… or go somewhere. But no. I just stood there. I was so dumbfounded and numb. Napatingin ako kay Liam na natutulog na. I waited for him to fall asleep dahil ayaw kong makita niya akong ganito. Para kahit magalit ako, hindi niya ako maririnig. Hindi niya mararamdaman itong sama ng loob. I thought I’d lose my shit but I’m not even brave enough to do that. Andito lang ako, sitting on a table on the corner of our room. Silently tortured by my own emotions.This is no use. I walked outside of the room and when I did, I felt my own weakness again. I leaned my back on the wall and let myself feel it all. Iyong kahinaan, kalungkutan, pati na rin siguro galit. I felt so fragile and I couldn’t do anything but cry.I cried until I g
Huling Na-update : 2024-08-10The Groomless Bride Chapter Twenty-two
It's been one week and I have not found peace since then. Araw-araw akong nilalamon ng kaba. Even if I try to distract myself, it’s always in the back of my mind. And no matter what I do, wala din naman akong magawa. Him being gone was difficult and I’ve already had my peace with that. Matagal ko nang tanggap iyon. Tapos masisira lang lahat ng iyon? I hate him. Ayaw na ayaw ko iyong mga taong aalis tapos babalik. Everything we’ve been through was thrown like garbage and then what? Coming back at their own freaking convenience? May tama mang sinabi si Jacob, it was what he said in the letter. Hating him was a waste of time. “Hi.” Muntik na akong mapatalon nang bumukas ang pinto. I was relieved to see Ivan. “Sorry. Nagulat ata kita. Kanina pa ako kumakatok, hindi mo siguro narinig.” “Oh gosh. I’m sorry.” “You seem busy.” Dumako ang mata niya sa mga designs and proposals on my desk. “Sorry for distracting you.” “Oh, please.” I laughed while making a pile from the scatte
Huling Na-update : 2024-08-11The Groomless Bride Chapter Twenty-three
These past few days, talagang di ko maintindihan ang sarili ko. Maybe because I'm too paranoid knowing that Jake's plane is arriving later. Knowing that he’d come is better but on the other hand, knowing when I’d see him is also torture.Parang may nagka-countdown sa utak ko na binibilang pati ang huling segundo kung kailan siya darating.The more I plead for time to be slower, the faster the dreaded moment comes. I didn't expect it to be this soon. Sa totoo nga lang, I was hoping I would never have to deal with this.Ivan held my hand while his other hand was driving. Kakahatid lang namin sa mga bata at ngayon, we're on our way to the airport. Jake and I decided that we should talk in person to settle things out. Ayaw ko namang bigla-bigla na lang siyang magpakilala sa anak ko.This needs to be rehearsed. Kailangan alam ko kung saan at kailan. Pati ang mga salitang lalabas sa bibig niya, alam ko. OA na kung OA, I don't care. I’m putting my son on top of my priority and I need to know
Huling Na-update : 2024-08-12The Groomless Bride Chapter Twenty-four
Hindi ko man lang magawang magsinungaling sarili because for a moment, only a moment, I a felt sorry to the man who caused me all this pain.Yes, I’m trying to protect my heart by keeping up that wall around it for my own sake, but I’m not that strong enough to keep feeling numb. Ngayon, naawa na ako sa kaniya. It’s all his fault but I can see the regret as he pleaded and sobbed.I was quite hesitant and there’s this whole fight inside my head before I tapped him on the shoulders. “You don’t have to do that, Jake.” Sabi ko sa kanya. He wiped his tears before facing me, meeting my gaze.I looked away as I blinked back the tears, refusing to cry. “Yung totoo? Ayaw ko... Hindi ko gusto dahil ayaw kong gawin mo sa anak ko ang ginawa mo sa akin noon. I would never let Jeremy go through that pain, Jake.” I paused when I felt the lump in my throat... I cannot stop it anymore. I want to cry, so I did. “Would you Jake? Sasaktan mo din ba ang anak ko tulad ng ginawa mo sa akin?”Saying these
Huling Na-update : 2024-08-13The Groomless Bride Chapter Twenty-five
Hindi ko pa siya napapatawad. It isn’t that easy pero hindi ko din hiniling na kagalitan siya ng anak ko. It’s what happened but it really wasn’t my intention. Why would I? It would equally wishing ill for my son.“Coffee.” I said, offering him the cup of coffee. Nasa kwarto na si Jeremy. Pagkatapos nilang magkita kanina ay mas pinili ni Jeremy na manatili sa kwarto. Hindi ko na muna siya sinundan and gave him space. I’ll talk to him later.Jake's reaction when Jeremy said those words was unexplainable. Yung para bang wala kang nakikita sa ekspresyon sa mukha niya, medyo nakaawang ang bibig at maluha-luha ang mata. His eyes mirrored all the things he was feeling inside. Hurt. Sadness. Regret.“Salamat,” he said. He took a sip of the coffee before he gave off a humorless laugh. “I knew it would hurt pero… ang sakit pala.”“I…” I paused, I have no idea what to do or what to say. He smiled bitterly habang hawak pa rin ang tasa. “I didn’t expect that nor did I hope that would happen. Magi
Huling Na-update : 2024-08-14The Groomless Bride Chapter Twenty-six
“Mimi, payag ka na please.” He pouted as he pleaded. Naku. Naka-puppy eyes pa. Napailing na lang ako at tumingin sa malayo para hindi niya makitang nagpipigil lang ako ng ngiti.I wiped my hands with the towel pagkatapos maghugas ng plato. “Jeremy, you can't sleepover at Tito Ivan's.” As much as Jeremy enjoys Ivan’s company and vice versa, Ivan is a busy person who also has too much to do.“He’s already my Papa Ivan.”“Jeremy…” saway ko sa kanya. I am thankful for Ivan’s kindness and with Jeremy’s acceptance to that affection, but lately, I can’t help but wonder na baka ginagawa ito ni Jeremy as some kind of reaction to Jacob coming into our lives.Jacob already promised to be all in. Tinanggap ko iyon and along with that acceptance is also a silent promise na tutulungan ko sila ni Jeremy na magka-ayos. Having another father figure when we already established Jacob’s involvement might be too much for the kid. Kahit naman siguro si Ivan ay sasang-ayon.Someone knocked on the door and
Huling Na-update : 2024-08-15The Groomless Bride Chapter Twenty-seven
"Aba naks ang ngiti, ang lawak ng ngiti."Napahawak ako sa dibdib ko nang makita ko si Ellie sa opisina, sitting like a boss in my swivel chair. "Oh, ba't andito ka, Ellie? Office hours ngayon. You should be in your office now." Naku, tong babaeng to talaga. Naging hobby na ata ang pausukin ang ilong ni Troy."May good news ako." She smiled from an ear to ear, yung halos mapunit na ang labi dahil sa laki ng ngiti."What's the good news lady?""Magre-resign na ako!" She was smiling this wide smile but there was something wrong in her eyes. Hindi ko alam kung totoo bang masaya siya o kung bakit may bakas ng lungkot sa mga mata niya. She was determined to be cheerful and I don't want to ruin the moment. Kung may sasabihin man siya, I know she would tell me."Me too.""Anong me too?" She asked as she raised an eyebrow."I'm trying out something new."Tahimik lang kami sa buong biyahe. Unlike this morning na di kami nauubusan ng topics.I tried to look at the view from the window as the ca
Huling Na-update : 2024-08-16
Pinakabagong kabanata
The Groomless Bride Chapter Thirty-seven
“Baby, I have something to tell you.”Jeremy pouted as he moved closer. Ilang araw ko ding pinag-isipan kung paano sasabihin sa anak ko ang kondisyon niya. He knows something wasn’t right. Palagi niya akong tinatanong kung okay lang ako dahil masyado daw akong tahimik. Masyado kasing malalim ang iniisip ko because I don’t want him to panic. Ang ending tuloy, I’m causing him to worry.“I’m not a baby anymore, Mommy.”“Oh. Ngayon na gusto mong sabihin na hindi ka na baby, ayaw mo nang mag-Mimi sa akin.” I teased. “I have something to tell you but let’s wait for your Dad.”“Why do we have to wait for him?” “Because he also has something to tell you.”Saktong nag-ring naman ang doorbell. I opened the door and as expected, Jake was standing there. Kung anong tapang niya nung hinarap niya ang mga magulang ko, today was the opposite. Kahit nakangiti ay hindi niya maitago ang kaba. Eto talagang si Jacob ay si Jeremy lang ang kahinaan.“You arrived just in time. We were talking about you.”“R
The Groomless Bride Chapter Thirty-six
“What do you mean Jeremy’s sick?” Papa said.Mama was so speechless that she couldn’t even speak. Kahit ako nay nahihirapang i-explain ang sitwasyon. I am so tempted to call Jake and let him do the explaining. He knows this disease more and he knows what can be done. Baka alam niya kung paano pakalmahin ang mga magulang ko because if it’s only me… hindi ko alam.“Not my apo.” Mama finally said something.Jeremy is taking a nap upstairs. I told Rina na huwag muna siyang pababain dahil kailangan naming mag-usap nina Mama at Papa.“Is this the reason bakit sinugod siya sa hospital?”“Yes. We’ll have him checked with a specialist immediately and see the options for treatment.”“And do we have an idea what are the options?” Tanong ni Papa.“Hindi ako sigurado, Pa. I… I only knew about this now at kahit ako, wala masyadong alam tungkol dito. I will do my own research but..” I held my breath. Wala sa plano kong hindi sabihin sa kanila ito but it’s so hard to keep this a secret. Hindi ko kayan
The Groomless Bride Chapter Thirty-five
I meant what I said. Still, I shouldn’t have said it.Nung niyakap ako ni Jake, napagtanto kong kahit na anong galit ko sa kanya, I missed him. Ano bang nangyari nung may sakit siya? While I was hurting, was he hurting too? Of course, he was. He wouldn’t be crying this much if he wasn’t. We could’ve been there for each other. Kung sana, hindi ako tumigil sa pagtatanong kung kamusta na siya, there could’ve been an us.“I won’t. I promise.” Bulong niya sa akin. “I’ll be here for you always, Cass. For you and Jeremy.”It was what I needed to hear. Hindi ko kayang mag-isa ito.I could feel the longing with his stare. His thumb continuously softly brushes my cheek. “I… I lo-”Napahinto kami pareho nung mag-ring ang phone ko. I swiftly moved away in a panic lalo na nung makita ko ang pangalan ni Ivan sa screen. I looked at Jake but he was looking away. I hesitated if I should answer the call, pero hindi ba mas lalong magiging mali kung hindi ko sasagutin? “Hello?” I finally answered.“Hi,
The Groomless Bride Chapter Thirty-four
“What?” I don’t know if it was loud enough for Jake to hear dahil kahit ako, hindi ko marinig ang sarili kong boses. What he said played in my mind again and I refuse to believe it. I changed my mind. “Don’t say it again.”I needed to leave here. Kailangan kong lumayo sa kanya. Whatever it was that I was feeling… It hurts so much that I feel numb.“Cass.”“Stay away from me.” I closed my eyes before I ended up breaking down.“Cass, I’m sorry.”“Sige nga.” I challenged him. “What are you sorry for? Because my son is sick? O baka naman dahil sa ginawa mo sa akin noon. Are you sorry for hurting me? Are you sorry I had to go through so much because you left me?”“I didn’t want to leave you.”“But you did, Jake.” I paused while I catch my breath. Nanginginig ako dahil sa sobrang lungkot at galit. “Am I supposed to feel guilty now dahil iniwan mo ko? Don’t say it was because of me because I would’ve wanted to be there. In sickness and in health, Jacob. I was ready to make the promise.”“I wa
The Groomless Bride Chapter Thirty-three
It was so stupid of me to let my guards down, but I’m really glad I have him here. It was comforting to know that someone who knows my pain is by my side.I brought myself back to reality when my phone started ringing.Ivan’s name popped on the screen. Lumayo ako kay Jake and took a second to breathe.“Hello. Ivan?”“How are you? Is everything all right? I was calling you and Ellie but no one’s answering. May nangyari ba.”I looked at Jake pero na kay Jeremy na ang attention niya. He was combing Jeremy’s hair.“I’m sorry. May nangyari lang. Inaasikaso kasi namin ngayon si Jeremy.”“Why? What happened” He sounded so worried sick. I can imagine Ivan, with a furrow in his forehead and a worried look on his face. “Okay lang ba siya?”I nodded my head, “Yes, he's fine. Medyo nahirapan lang siyang huminga kanina but he's now sleeping…” “What?” He gasped. “Is he okay? What did the doctor say?”“They are still running some tests.”I am so dizzy. Naubos ata lahat ng lakas ko kanina.“How abou
The Groomless Bride Chapter Thirty-two
“Baby... Baby... Are you okay?" Natatarantang tanong ko. I combed his hair and then cupped his cheeks. His lips parted as he breathed heavily, gasping for air.My hand started shaking so badly that I couldn’t touch him anymore.“Ellie!” Hindi ko na alam kung anong gagawin ko. I searched for something that I can use para paypayan siya. Binigyan naman ako ni Ellie galing sa bag niya at nanginginig na inabot niya sa akin iyon. “Ellie, can you call for an ambulance?”I watched as my son clutched his chest. He closed his eyes and his hand that was holding me tightly lost strength. “Jeremy. Jeremy.” I tapped his cheeks. “Listen to Mommy. Jeremy.”Hinihingal pa rin si Jeremy habang papunta kami sa pinakalapit na hospital. Thakfully, mayroong ten minutes away lang. Hawak-hawak ko ang kamay ni Jeremy. Wala pa rin siyang sinasabi but I could feel his hand holding me. I should be the one calming my son pero parang ako pa tuloy ang kumukuha ng lakas mula sa kanya.Medyo masakitin si Jeremy but it
The Groomless Bride Chapter Thirty-one
“May gusto ka bang pasalubong?” Jake sounded a lot more cheerful than his usual tone. In my head, I already called this ‘Jake’s Daddy Voice’. The one he exclusively uses for Jeremy. I was holding my laugh at first dahil never ko pa siyang narinig magsalita that way but as time passed by, I got used to it. In fact, I appreciate everything he does for Jeremy, conscious or not. As long as he's keeping his word, I’m willing to let go of the past for Jeremy’s sake. Babalik kasi si Jake sa abroad, just for a week. Matagal na nga siguro dapat siyang umalis. He’d ask me, “Cass, would it be fine if I leave for work?” It’s for work and I know this arrangement. From day one, alam kong he wouldn’t be around every day for the whole year. I’d tell him, “Yeah, sure. Wala namang problema. You tell me when’s your flight and when you plan to come back and see Jake, you can also tell me. So, we can make an arrangement.” And what? We had that conversation every week hanggang sa napagtanto kong, it wa
The Groomless Bride Chapter Thirty
“Mimi! Mimi! Mimi, wake up ka na.”Gising na ako but I couldn’t open my eyes. Alam na alam ng katawan ko that it’s the weekend and it’s asking for more sleep. My son, on the other hand, is asking for more playtime.I peeked at his excited face, already full of that young energy. I feel so old most especially when I can’t keep up with his excitement. I smiled, "Yes, sweetie. I know, but can you let your Mom sleep for a little while?" Agad naman siyang ngumuso at mukhang malapit nang magtampo. I touched his cheek, "Then we can do anything you want after. Ipagluluto din kita ng kahit na anong gusto mo."“Okay. I’ll let my Mom sleep but cook a lot of corned beef for me, Mimi.”“See. You can call me Mom naman pala or Mommy. Why do you insist on calling me Mimi?” I laughed.Jeremy shrugged. For him, I’ll always be his Mimi. “I don’t know. I like Mimi more. See you in the kitchen! Love you!”Imbes na matulog ulit ako ay pinilit ko na lang bumangon. Ayan, nahawa na nga yata ako sa energy niya
The Groomless Bride Chapter Twenty-nine
It was almost a new feeling of relief when I woke up in the morning. Walang pinagbago but I felt so much better. A lot better than yesterday.I remember the feeling of being sick almost to the point of feeling numb and my head was spinning I felt so dizzy. Ni hindi ko na nga maalala kung nakapagpaalam ba ako sa anak ko. My memory was still a bit blurry.I fixed myself in front of the mirror. Ang gulo-gulo ng buhok ko at pati ang mukha kong kahit naka-recover na sa lagnat ay nangangailangan pa rin ng ayos.I freshened up before heading to Jeremy's room, almost a habit. Naalala ko na lang na wala pala siya dito."Good morning po, Ma'am!""Good morning, Rina. Wala pa si Jeremy?"Mukh
