Chapter Twenty-one

CASS

I felt so dizzy and weak in my knees that I felt the need to grab on something not to lose balance. Pakiramdam ko, hihimatayin ako. Gusto kong buhusan ang sarili ko ng malamig na tubig to either feel numb or to wake up from this nightmare.

I should do something… or go somewhere. But no. I just stood there.

I was so dumbfounded and numb. Napatingin ako kay Liam na natutulog na. I waited for him to fall asleep dahil ayaw kong makita niya akong ganito.

Para kahit magalit ako, hindi niya ako maririnig. Hindi niya mararamdaman itong sama ng loob. I thought I’d lose my shit but I’m not even brave enough to do that. Andito lang ako, sitting on a table on the corner of our room. Silently tortured by my own emotions.

This is no use. I walked outside of the room and when I did, I felt my own weakness again. I leaned my back on the wall and let myself feel it all. Iyong kahinaan, kalungkutan, pati na rin siguro galit. I felt so fragile and I couldn’t do anything but cry.

I cried until I g