Charlie's Family

Chapter Five: Charlie’s Family

Z E N O

“Ih, I’m not wearing that.”

We were at the mall to shop for clothes. Sinama ko na si Charlie para malaman ko rin kung anong gusto niyang suotin if she approves or not yung mga pinipili ko sa kanya. So far 30 minutes na kami nag-iikot at kada kuha ko sa natitipuhan kong suotin niya, madali siyang sumasagot na ayaw niya. Which I get, honestly, nakasanayan niya na magsuot ng mga panlalake na damit per se. But my father wouldn’t believe I’m going to marry her if she’s going to dress the way she would and present herself. I actually like her this way but my father is rather… you know, iba ang mindset nila. Lalo na I carry the Madrigal name now. Malaki pressure sa akin at malaki rin ang pressure sa magiging asawa ko.

I didn’t actually expect Charlie to agree though. I thought she’d be firmer about it. Growing up, I have a hard time expressing myself to other people maliban na lang kayla mama, tita ko at sa lola ko. They were my main influences that made me who I am today. But somehow with her, I just feel okay being vulnerable.  Didn’t even think twice about shedding a tear.

I’ve had my moments with Ivy, of course, we were together for a really long time but that night… it was special to me too. It was the night that I met someone like me.

“Hindi ba pwede iba na lang, Zeno? Di naman siguro kasi papansinin ng papa mo.” tanong niya pa na nakasimangot habang tumitingin ng mga black shoes… na panlalake. “I can’t wear dresses.”

“Well, just this time. I promise I’ll make it up to you after. Sandali lang naman tayo since he’s currently in the hospital.” I looked at her intently before noticing something. “Ginagamit mo ‘yung binigay ko sa’yo?”

“Ang alin?” she looked at me.

“Yung pangmukha. Ginagamit mo, noh?” I smiled at her before gingerly cupping both her cheeks. “It’s better.”

When I thought she’d be glad to hear that, she slapped my hands away. “Anong better? Edi ibig sabihin talaga hindi ako maganda?”

“I didn’t even say that. All I’m saying is that you’re glowing. It’s better compared to how your skin looked a few days ago.” I shrugged my shoulders before taking her arm and pulling her away from the black shoes.

“Eh, diba papakasalan mo ko kasi gusto mo kung ano ako? Why do I have to change that too?” angal pa rin niya na parang bata na nagtatrantum. “Ako gusto kita nang ganyan ka lang.”

That made me look at her because besides the people I really hold close to me, I’ve never had anyone else say that to me and in front of my face too. “Are you just saying that para s******p sakin?”

“Hindi ah. Unique mo nga eh.” tinapik-tapik niya pa ang likod ko and I wined. Ang bigat pala ng kamay niya and she doesn’t even seem to notice. “I like you the way you are. Ayokong magpanggap ka pa ng iba para lang magpa-impress sa ibang tao. Alam mo sabi sakin ng papa at mga kapatid ko? Mas magiging masaya ka sa buhay mo kapag tanggap mo sarili mo and you only keep people around that accepts the real you. And I’m here, I don’t give a shit about what people say to me pero… yeah, alam ko rin yung feeling na mainsecure. Wala nga akong pake but I find it hard to forget the hurtful words they say. Sige na nga! Hanapan mo na ako, basta wag lang dress. Okay na ako diyan sa jumpsuit!”

For someone seemingly confident about what and who she is as a person, kahit na malakas pa personality niya, she’s really good at hiding the pain. I know these type of people na mas magaling talaga sila magtago ng nararamdaman nila. Sometimes they’re vocal about other things but when it comes to their own personal issues, it’s different. I feel like for her it’s better to just hide it. Nabanggit niya nga na wala siyang ni sinong babae sa buhay niya and they’re just a bunch of guys. We’re really not that different in terms of what environment we grew up in at alam ko lang naman sa mga pag-iisip ng mga lalake, mas okay talaga na itago na lang nila kaysa sabihan pa sila ng mahina.

Nodding my head, tumingin na lamang ako sa section kung nasaan ang mga bodysuit bago kumuha ng isa na pinakita pa sa kanya. “Is this okay, then?”

“Kailangan ko pa ba i-try? ‘Wag na. Medium size ko, okay na yan.” she shakes the issue off before going to the trousers as I put my hand over my forehead.

“Just try it on para hindi na tayo bumalik?” pilit ko pa na lumapit sa kanya bago kunin ang kamay niya. “Please?”

“If you weren’t looking at me so cutely… fine.” she took the jumpsuit from me and I smiled victoriously. 

It makes me glad na madali ko pa siyang napapayag kahit nakatingin lang naman ako sa kanya at walang ginagawa na iba. Who would have known despite her tough exterior, madali siyang naaawa?

Whilst she was in the fitting room, I walked around if there were other clothes she’d like. The least I  could do was to spoil her. For her, marrying is a big deal, sa akin din naman, and I’m taking that privilege away from her. And I’m really thankful. Nakagawa na kaming kontrata at hindi mo makikita sa kanya na nag-alangan siyang pumirma. She really seemed willing to help out.

I’m really happy. Saka hindi naman malabo na magkabutihan din kami in the future, right? Parang hindi rin siya mahirap gustuhin and I can’t help but to think why guys would reject someone like her. We were nearing 30’s, we’re adults, I can’t comprehend why we still need to look at appearances. Mature na tayo mag-isip na kapag may ka-relasyon hindi dapat lagi sa hitsura bumabase and the world doesn’t need to revolve around that type of shit. I mean, we’re alike, we don’t go by the gender norms of what women and men in society should be. Siguro naiintimidate mga tao sa ganun and I guess I’ll try to understand that.

Charlie is more than enough for me if it ever comes to that point. 

Just as Charlie got out of the fitting room, a bunch of guys walked by and gawked at her. Dahil dito, I felt being overprotective of Charlie at pasimple lang ang punta ko sa kanya, a smile on my face but she was already looking over my shoulder. 

“Oi, ‘tol!” 

“Tol!”

I was left dumbfounded from where I was standing. Isa na ‘yung hindi ka pansinin, but bumping into my shoulder and just walking past me is another thing. Not even going to lie, that made me kind of disappointed. 

“Ano ‘yang suot mo, ‘tol? Ang ganda mo naman!” 

“Ah, binilhan kasi ako ni Zeno. Maganda na ba talaga ako?”

She sounded so… happy trying to confirm that. I find it accomplishing kapag napapangiti ko si Charlie. Iba kasi yung napaparating ng mood niya. It’s infectious!

“Zeno?”

“A-ah, oo nga pala. Kasi naman, bakit kayo nandito eh!?” rinig ko pang reklamo ni Charlie at nanlaki ang mga mata ko nung hinila pa niya ako sa baywang.

And I faced the guys. There were at least seven guys and one older man. Who were they?

“S-si Zeno, papa… mga utol… fiance ko.”

“Ah, fiance naman– FIANCE!?”

Napangiwi ako nang sabay-sabay pa silang lumakas ang boses and people were already staring. Surprisingly though, I don’t mind it. I liked the attention. Umakbay pa si Charlie sa akin at nilapit sa kanya despite our heights being at least a head away. “Ganda ng fiance ko noh!?”

“Tol! Di mo naman agad sinasabi samin eh!” the bulkiest out of all of them approached me with his hand out. “Nice to meet you, Zeno! Lance, ako yung panganay. Saan ka naman nakilala nitong kapatid namin?”

I could really see Charlie adapting her family’s mannerisms. They were all males. Pati yung pinakabata na mukhang papasok pa lang sa high school, is a boy. Even her dad looked really pumped. I felt guilty but at the same time, I’m overwhelmed in a good way. Iba rin pala yung feeling na napakilala ka ng girlfriend mo sa pamilya niya. We didn’t have time to get ready and this was really unexpected but it’s really not bad. Parang mukhang maganda impression nila sa akin kahit hindi pa talaga ako makapagsalita.

“A-Ah, um, sa trabaho kami nagkakilala ni Charlie. She stood out one meeting and I… asked her out. Right… honey?”

“Honey? Ang pangit naman ng tawagan–”

Siniko ko kaagad si Charlie nung magreklamo pa siya nang malakas.

“Ahahaha, honey. Di kaya. Ako nagandahan sa’yo nun tas ako nagtanong.” pinisil pa niya ang pisngi ko and she was really doing it hard.

“Wag mong sabihin na si Charlie pa nagpoprose ah?” biro pa ng isang kapatid niya na natatawa lang.

“Ako nga, tagal kasi mag propose.” sumakay pa si Charlie sa biro nila na nakipag-apir sa mga kapatid niya. 

“Halika na, anak. Kakain pa naman kami ngayon. Sabay ka na, pwede ba?” her dad finally asked, turning to me. “Pasensya na sa mga ito, maingay talaga sila kahit saan pa magpunta.”

“Ayos lang ho, tito.” ngumiti ako nang malaki. “It’s my treat this time to make it up na hindi pa namin nasasabi sainyo.”

“Ayun!” lumapit sa akin ang iba niyang mga kapatid at halos napunta na sa gilid si Charlie. “Gustong-gusto ko na ‘tong fiance mo, Charlie eh!”

When they were walking, bumalik lang si Charlie sa tabi ko nung medyo nahuhuli ako sa kanila kahit lingon nang lingon palikod ang mga kapatid niya para tingnan kami.

“Uy, sensya na sa kanila ah? Hindi ko naman alam na pupunta sila ng mall ngayon eh.” mahinang sabi pa sakin ni Charlie na humawak pa sa likod ko.

She does have the mannerisms of a guy. And there was me who was a bit more timid. Hawak-hawak ko lang ang bag ko sa braso. Parang hindi niya nga ginagawang issue kung gaano ako katangkad sa kanya. She will still make a way to touch me.

Hindi ko naman sinasabi na hindi ko gusto. Kasi gusto ko.

“I don’t mind, Charlie. They look like they’re fun to be around with.” ngumiti ako sa kanya. “Pero sa susunod, I need to get ready first to meet up with them again.”

“Sus, ayos lang yun.” tinapik-tapik niya pa ang likod ko. “Sa susunod kaya punta tayo sa bahay? ‘Wag kang mag-alala ha! Pinagawa ko na bahay namin, malaki na ‘yun. Kasyang-kasya na kami.”

“I don’t mind that though,” nagtaka lang ako nang kaunti na baka nakuha niya ‘yun because we have different backgrounds and status. “Sila na ba lahat ng kapatid mo?”

“Hindi eh, yung iba nagtatrabaho, sa gabi na nakakauwi. Yung iba nakabukod na. So… 15 kami lahat.” tumango-tango pa siya. “At lahat kami lalake– este, ako lang babae.”

Huh.. 13. And I thought 7 siblings were already too much. I pondered for a minute na nag-iisip na ng lulutuin para sa pamilya niya. Pero dumaan din sa isip ko na ang sipag naman ng mga magulang ni Charlie.

“Hindi ka nagtataka na ganun kami kadami?” tanong pa ni Charlie sa tabi ko.

Tiningnan ko rin siya. “Because your parents want to have a lot of children?”

“Hindi! Mali!” tinapik niya nang malakas ang likod ng ulo ko. “Single si papa, siya lang nagtataguyod samin mag-isa. Lahat kami adopted. Nagtatrabaho kasi si papa sa orphanage noon at naaawa siya sa mga bata na hindi naaampon kaya he took the responsibility of providing a home for them. Isa na ako ‘run, noh! Alam mo, puro lalake kasi hindi naaampon sa bahay-ampunan? Tapos ako iniwan lang kasi ng magulang ko sa mismong bahay na ni papa.”

Napatingin pa ako sa direksyon kung nasaan ang papa niya. He was talking to his children, the crinkles by his eyes indicate how content he looked. Biruin mo, hindi naman niya blood and flesh ang mga anak niya ngayon pero totong anak ang tinuring niya and I can’t help but compare him to my father.

I was my father’s flesh and blood but he didn’t want anything to do with me.

“I can tell you’re really thankful for him.” sabi ko pa kay Charlie nun. “Appreciate your dad more, okay?”

Tumango siya sakin. “Ngayon eh tatay mo na rin si papa! Okay lang ako na maki-share!”