Chapter 03

The Guy from the Dark 

My parents knew what happen yesterday and as expected they got angry to me.

“You tried to kill yourself again! You knew we can’t afford losing you anymore” my father said angrily

I was looking down on my plate and pretending that I am not listening to them, they just keep on repeating their words it is irritating to listen all over and over again

I was thinking about the man. After crying I pass out then when I woke up I am already in my room

What the hell he just said? He will help me to walk again? Funny that my therapist failed to help me walk again, think about he will help me made me laughed.

My dad got startled by my sudden laugh.

“What are you laughing at?” he asked

He sounded concern, maybe they were thinking that I am already insane, which is maybe true

“Nothing” I shrugged

“You have an appointment to your psychiatrist” he informed me

After a long silence I decided to speak “I want to do my therapy continuously. I said it almost like a whisper, of course enough for my father to hear

“What?” my father asked in surprise

“I want to walk in the normal way again”

I looked at him in the eyes. I am totally determine right now

Papa hugged me like I did something great. I can feel that he is crying “thank God you are back”

I didn’t answer. I don’t know what to say because for me it doesn’t mean that I want a continuous therapy mean myself is back

He let go hugging me, after that like what my father said I have an appointment with my psychiatrist. We are not close; I always decline talking to her. Every session I will just stare at her not telling anything

“Penny how are you?” this is always her first question

Isn’t obvious that I am not okay? Instead of answering I just stared in nowhere

“I heard that you want your therapy to be continuous. Can I ask something?” she paused and so I looked at her

“What push you to do your therapy continuously?”

Her question made me think, what push me? It was the man. He hit jackpot, I was hurt because of his words that is why I want to prove to him that he is wrong

“Someone stepped on my ego” I said it in a small voice

“Pardon?”

“A guy told me that I am just an excess baggage, a damsel in distress” I said as my tears started to fall

“And?”

“And I want to prove to him that he is wrong” I said

I do badly want to bring back myself, my sanity, my life, everything that I have before

“Do you feel angry to him?” she asked

“No, I am certain that I don’t feel angry to him. I just felt judge because this guy doesn’t know anything about me and he got the guts to step on my ego like he knows me” I calmly said

“Penny that was great! You are starting to be aware about how other people think about you” she said with hopeful tone

Maybe I am. This is a little progress but it is okay to me

We got interrupted when the door swung open. Our gaze shifted to the person who entered. My brows furrowed when I saw who the person is

“Hey mom just wonder—“he stopped midway when he saw me and his eyes glittered with no reason

“Oops I am sorry, seems like I interrupted you” he said. I heard his psychiatrist or his mother scoffed

“Like as if you don’t know that she is here” she said

I knew it! He was the man! That is why he looks familiar

“Ms. Esperanza I introduce to you my son, he is—“but her son cut her off

“North Einstein Alexander Melendez, nice to meet you, again”

He lends me his hand, asking for shake hands but I just stared at him. I met him yesterday and I didn’t fully saw his face.

After two years of being a prison here in this hospital, I never thought that I will see someone like him again. Is it just me? Or he is really good looking?

He looks surreal, he doesn’t have the vibe of good boy but more like cool. For me, he has a perfect face, those gray eyes and perfect jaw, also his nose. He is totally ideal for me.

“Are you real?” too late when I realized that I said it loud. This fucking mouth!

He laughed so hard like I joked something really funny

“Goodness gracious mom, she is so funny!” he said while smiling ear to ear

“Go away son, we have our talk so leave. Butt in if I am not talking to her”

He was about to leave but I said something that caught his attention

“Doc, he was the guy I am talking about. The bastard who judged me” I said in monotone

“WHAT?!” they said in unison

“Should I repeat?” I asked. Seems like they didn’t understand my words

“Hey! I didn’t judge you! I just help her mom!” he said defending his self

“Are you sure Miss Esperanza?” my psychiatrist asked. She said it like she is keeping herself calm

“As long as I can remember I still have a good eyesight and sharp mind. I don’t have any head injuries so why do you sound like you can’t believe me huh?”

She massaged her faced after what I had said “you are really serious with that huh?” okay? Why is she shouting at me?

“Alexander?!” oh I thought it was me.

“Mom let’s talk about it later, she is right here in this room so chill I am not yet doing anything” he said, then he immediately leave the room

“He is really a demon” she said

“I am sorry for that dear” she sincerely asked for apology

“Don’t worry, I don’t feel hurt anymore” I said and laughed a little

After that, my psychiatrist just told me some things to think whenever it comes in my mind that I am not worth to live. I want to ask her about her son but she seems like she really don’t want to talk about it

“Penny” my psychiatrist called me so I looked at her

“Don’t get close to him, he might hurt you” she said

Those were her last words and literally followed it because everyday this man keeps on nagging on me.

“Hey why you don’t want to talk to me?” he always asked me

I don’t like his aura; it is too strong that anytime I might collapse in front of him. He is so intimidating and I can’t look at his eyes

“Just go away” that is my natural line to turn him away

But today is different. I got curious why his own mother said that he is dangerous. What’s on him?

“Hi!” he said cheerfully

I want to rip his face into pieces. The nurse stops pushing my wheelchair because I told him

Instead of greeting him back I asked him a question “you told me that you are going to help me but every day you just annoy me!”

“Hey chill, I will help you but not now” he answered

He smiled to my nurse and said “can I escort her to her room?” he asked

What is his plan? Why does he want me to accompany to my room?

“Sir I am sorry but it is an order from her parents that I should be the one to escort him” my nurse answered

“Hays, can’t you trust me? You know who I am right?” he said to my nurse.

I saw how my nurse flinched, is he scared?

“Let him. He can be trusted, he is my friend” I said

“Are you sure ma’am?”

“Of course I am”

North immediately grabbed the wheelchair from my nurse and he also said thank you

When we are moving away from my nurse I asked him the question that lingers in my mind “now tell me, what’s your business?” I asked

Too late when I realized that we are not heading to my room, He turn left instead right. I panicked what if he is a bad person?

He notice that I am tense right now “relax, I will bring you out”

I looked at him with big eyes “out?”

“Yah” he answered casually

We are already inside the elevator. Honestly I am nervous right now but also excited, finally! I will see the outside!

“They don’t allow me to go out” I said in a small voice, I don’t know why I am shy telling this to him

“For real? How awful!” he said

“So how many months?” he asked

“Not months but two years already” I said

“What?! Two years? Goodness gracious! You are living in hell!” he overreacted

The sun greeted me with so much light. But then I can’t feel the change, manila is still the same; too chaotic.

“I never thought that I still going to have a chance to see the outside again. Thanks for bringing me out” I said with a smile

“Welcome” he simply said

I realized something; I never told him my first name! Everyone knows me as Penelope Esperanza

“How did you know my first name” I asked

“Secret” he answered

I rolled my eyes because of annoyance. “Nobody calls me Astraea, everyone knows me as Penelope”

“Really? But I preferred Astraea because it is unique” he reasoned out

We stop under a tree and North just sat down on the grass “I will call you Astraea so you will know that I am the one who is calling you”

I chose not to react because I don’t know what to say; instead I just ask him “why are you helping me? you said yesterday that I am hopeless then here you are. you helped me to go out in the hospital”

I started to look around, mesmerizing the scenery around me.

“Because those hopeless people weren’t hopeless before, sometimes they were the people who gave hope to others. Maybe you are one of them, then maybe it is worth it to help you" he said while looking at me "Those hopeless people might be the reason of other people why they are still alive” he added

I look away because I don’t want to see his face; it makes me want to cry because of his words

“During the time that you will be committing suicide and when I stopped you from doing it, I am already part of life so I am here to help you as a friend” he said

“you don’t have to help me, I will just make your life hard” I said, avoiding his gaze

“Astraea, life is always hard because if you don’t found it hard then you don’t exist”

My tears started to fall; I immediately wipe it off because I don’t want north to see me crying

“I hate hearing that name, my mom named me Astraea because she believes that I’ll be a star. But stars do die right? Then I guess I’m one of the stars that don't shine anymore” I said and my tears won’t stop falling

North knelt down to face me. He wiped off my tears and said “Sun is also a star right? So not every star dies, your shine will never die, it is still there” he said then pointed my heart “You just have to lit it up again”

I started to cry louder because of his words, I don’t know what to do anymore. I was totally confuse on what I want

Suddenly he hugged me and kissed me on my forehead “I will make you shine again. Trust me”

One thing is for sure. Someone understands me now and I don’t feel alone anymore