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187
“Emma, I believe he’s the one for you, mistakes aside. I truly believe you’ll never find another love or happiness in the way you found it with him. He seems to know what you need, almost instinctively, and he gives you it. He understands you. You have no idea how rare that is.” She tightens her grasp on my hand and gazes at me fondly. Those tropical blue eyes twinkling with love. “You changed someone like him, Emma, he changed you, you have no idea how huge that is. I don’t think he’ll ever look anywhere else again if you give him another chance, no, in fact I know he won’t.”
“I can’t just push aside what he did.” I sigh.
“But you can learn to forgive him, and you can only do that by talking to him and seeing what happens next.” She strokes back my hair from my face wiping away some of the wetness on my cheek. “You can’t wallow in here and hide away forever.”
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I stare at the folded paper in my hand, with shaking fingers, the envelope discarded, now lying on the bed with his neat scroll on the front. I take an eternity to run my fingers across the neat lettering, pain shooting through me from every angle. I inhale deeply steadying my nerves, unfolding the thick cream paper, biting my lip. I drag courage from somewhere telling myself I should dive in and do it.Emma, I’m sorry, bambino, so extremely sorry. I don’t even know what writing to you is going to achieve, but I had to do something. I saw them packing up every piece of you and I had to stop myself from tearing it out of their hands and holding onto it all. I can’t bear it. I feel like everything they remove is a slash across my heart.I know I don’t deserve you, I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I’ll do anything to have it, anything to get you back. I made a stupid mistake, I wasn’t
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I squirm in anger to be released but Jake only tightens his hold and gives me a look that tells me to leave it alone.“You know as soon as you let her go, she’s going to give you a black eye for that right?” Jake throws back, with an edge to his tone, and follows Daniel to the waiting car. It’s the black four by four, usually driven by Jefferson but he’s nowhere to be seen.“Looking forward to her trying.” Daniel prods Leila in the ass, looking mightily pissed. “Still with me, kitten? You’re awfully quiet up there now.” He shifts her weight on his shoulder for a better grip; almost as though he’s trying to shake a response from her.“Screw you,” Leila mumbles from her hanging head, hair falling over so I can’t make out her features, her hands are up near her face and suddenly I realize she’s cry
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I must’ve gone back to sleep at some point in the car ride through the city because I wake up, completely disorientated, in a very familiar bed; Sarah’s loud snoring and body next to me. I sit up, warily, as the spinning nausea and headache of the world’s worst hangover hits me, and I push down the urge to throw up.The room is dark and quiet but that doesn’t mean much. Jake has blackout shades on all his windows, blocking out the sun whenever he wants to sleep. I scramble around under the sheets, catching the smell of him from the cushions under my head, and it instantly overwhelms with me with a mix of longing, pain, and upset.I still don’t know how to feel. Great.I slide out and carefully tread my way to the bedroom door, not wanting to wake Sarah or anyone else; especially when I’ve no idea what time it is. I open the door slightly and hear muffled voices coming from the kitchen, followed by a sudden rush of bri
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“I’m sorry.” I fumble the words out, embarrassed, my eyes hit my fingers in my lap, and I twist at the hem of my very short dress.Great way to show the man who hurt you that you’re so in control and worth every inch of fight to get you back. Especially when you drunk dial him, need his rescue, and then throw up at his feet.Classy, Emma … just classy.“Don’t be, I’m glad I was the one there to take care of you. It was a drunk Emma I’ve never met before.” His eyes linger this time and I can feel them boring into me a little too closely, his scrutiny making me feel more awkward. I wish the ground would just open below my feet and swallow me whole.Sarah wanders over toward us and turns green at the sight of food. Jake waves a mug at her to offer coffee, his eyes finally giving me
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I stand in the shower for an unbelievably long time, the hot water pouring down me, refreshingly, helps to push the nausea down. I’m aching at everything so familiar about being here, so many memories and thoughts of Jake beside me. I feel like I’ve woken inside a dream, some strange alternate reality where I never left, and this feels like where I should be. It’s disconcerting and doesn’t help my emotionally confused state of mind at all.Fully cleansed of my shameful drunken night and drying myself I can hear noise in the apartment. The sound of music drifting though the walls and I know Jake must be back. I pause for a moment listening to the faint drifting of one of his favorite songs and the sound of a juicer going in the kitchen, emotion swirling in apprehension in my stomach. I’m nervous being here with him, being alone and having to face him.I pull on an oversized white bath robe and wander cautiously out through to the large open
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