He replaces the two lost fingers and rubs my clit, increasing his pace until he's ruthlessly f*cking me with his fingers.I continue moving my hips alone and grip the desk tightly as my body rocks back and forth."Xander," I moan, sweat rolling down my temple and back.He curls his fingers and hits the right spot making my toes curl, "F*ck right there," I pant.I clench around him fully as a warning that the pressure is getting too much now and just like that he's fingers are gone.A loud moan and gasp leave my lips as he slams into my completely, a tear rolls down my face but when he moves his hips the pain is replaced by pleasure.He raises my legs and places them around his neck somehow deepening hid thrusts, my moans and his groans fill the small space.It's smells of nothing but sex and sweat but I couldn't care less so long as out bodies are colliding against one another's."F*ck, just like that, just like that," I moan as he drives deeper and deeper into me hitting my g-spot ove
Xander's P.O.VShe gave me that look again, the same one as eleven years ago right before the accident.I don't think she realized how it affected me, it hurts, it really hurts.Something in me thought that maybe this time things would be different, my feelings, actions, everything.I still feel the same way, the beat of my heart is the same, the fear and anxiety within me still lurks.I thought loving her this time would be easier because I know, I know what I did wrong, I know how I feel, I know how she feels what she likes what she doesn't.I know her, I know everything. This shouldn't be hard or scary, it shouldn't be bringing back wounds that I tried so hard to hide emotionally and physically.*~*~*~* "Rosaleigh," It's like with each syllable I mutter she increases the speed, we're already sixty miles over the limit.I can tell by the way that she's gripping the steering wheel, the continuous tapp
I don't know when I got to her side, covering her from the glass shatters and impact of the car hurdling into the ground multiple times.I don't know how tight I gripped the metal poles of the headrest to keep myself from falling, or how tight she gripped onto me.I don't know how many times the car rolled, when the piercing ring in my ear came to life. When I lost my balance and we both went down with the impacts.I don't know when it ended but it did, the car alarm was going off with a piercing shrill in my ear.My vision was black, I could feel a heavy weight on top of me, something dripping off the side of my temples.My heart's hardly beating, my mind moves left and right, between conciousness and the opposite.When my vision clears slightly I realize that the weight on top of me is none other than Rosaleigh. I can't see much, my mind can't comprehend any details but I know they will soon haunt me."Rosie," I croak out causing me to encounter a
It's just silence among us, a few more minutes then the doorknob jiggles and the door opens.What's wrong with me?The water is stopped and I'm picked up, as we enter the room I can tell the temperature has risen.I shiver at the contrast of temperatures, he sets me on the bed and pats me dry in a towel before dressing me up and covering me up in layers of blankets."You were there," I find myself saying.He gets on his knees before me and looks up at me with fearful eyes, "where was I?" Tears well in my eyes, I don't think I'm talking for myself anymore as something says everything I never knew."In the car, you were angry, hurt, scared," "We were in a hospital, you we're crying," a flash of realization passed through his eyes."You don't have to continu–""You begged me, called out my name many times," I bite my inner lip and furrow my eyebrows while my knee bounces.He places his hand on my knee to stop it from bouncing, it does
here are some available helplines for those who suffer with mental health, please use them if you ever feel like you need to*~*~*~* 1. UKPTSD UK contacts: 0300 302 0551Link: ptsdresolution.orgThe Openness Project Helpline contact: 07928 458388Link: ekrcc.org.ukAvailable Nationwide in England.About: The Openness Project Helpline provides free and confidential support and information by phone and text message (SMS). We are here for everyone in England who may require support with sexual abuse, trauma & PTSD.If you want any other links for UK mental health helplines, go to this website:https://findahelpline.com/organizations/the-openness-project-helpline 2. USAPTSD Foundation of America contacts: (877) 717-7873Link: ptsdusa.orgTeen line is open everyday from 4am to 7amYou can call the contact: (800) 852-8336Message the number: 839863Link: teenlineonline.orgAbout Teen Line:Teen Line is dedicated to providing free, compassionate and confidential support over phone and tex
I walk in through the door just in time to see Rosaleigh happily trot down the stairs changed and looking more lively.Her eyes glitter when she sees me, "Good afternoon," she leaves a kiss on my cheek and gives me a huge grin.I'm frozen in shock, what in the world is going on?Her smile falters slightly, "oh I'm sorry, I didn't think you'd mind if I borrowed you shirt, I'll go take it off if you want?"I didn't even notice what she's wearing, a simple jean and my shirt, I shake my head and give her a smile."I don't mind at all gorgeous, how are you feeling?" I ask, "I mean after earlier?"She furrows her eyebrows then shrugs it off, "I don't know what you're talking about but I'm feeling great, I was just about to make dinner for us all; chicken alfredo, you want to help? Unless you're tired?" She asks.I pull her into my arms and hug her, she hugs me back giggling. "What's wrong with you?" She asks trying to pull back but I tighten my hold."I'm sorry I missed our date," I say, she
"S-she didn't see me standing by the door when she stuck the knife in the board. When she did, she starting crying, apologizing. She tried acting like nothing happened, took the plate and bowl but dropped them. She was shaking, daddy then she ran out," she remains quiet after that."It's okay baby, she probably got bad news. I'm sorry if she scared you," I apologize on her behalf, she nods her head slightly.I can tell she's still scared, she may not be crying or shaking but her foot never stopped it's movements.I make my way to the front door and look outside, my car is gone and my heart drops.I head back to the office and call Nic, "I need you to track the audi and follow it wherever it is," I command then end the call waiting for no response, I know he would do it.I don't trust her in that state of mind, can you blame me? Last time we both nearly died.Not the time."Where's Rosie?" Lucia asks, I jump slightly and
I ring the doorbell, she opens the door with Nina propped on her hip. She looks like sh*t, her hair is in a messy bun, heavy bags under her eyes and skin pale as ever."She's still sleeping, do you want some coffee?" She offers, I nod and she welcomes me in.The place is a mess, I can't imagine the stress of two children, school and now these news.I follow her to the kitchen where she pours me a cup of coffee and rocks a tired Nina back and forth."It was bound to happen, I thought they would do this earlier than now," she admits, I take the coffee into my hand and take a sip then raise an eyebrow."Logan–despite my warnings–played with the big boys all his years. I wouldn't expect any less from him, now it's finally caught up to him. It may sound bad coming from his sister, but I'm direct not ignorant. My mother was killed by the same big boys she loved so much,"She's adopted.I nod silently, although she speaks with no emotion in her voice. Her eyes give everything off, she's brok
*3 years later*Xander's P.O.VI look up from my laptop to see Lucia leaning against my doorframe.It's crazy how she's grown up to look nearly the exact replica of her sister."Hey."I close the device and give her my full attention. "Hi."She scratches her head and gives me a nervous smile, "I-" She stutters as someone behind her clears her throat."We were hoping we could ask you for something." I raise an eyebrow."Well, I'm moving out to college in a few weeks and it's nearly uhm Rosie's memorial day, and we were hoping we could get some things that belonged to Rosaleigh. For memories?"My heart stops for a moment before it continues its job."Haven't you already been doing that for the past three years?" I try to laugh it off even though it's pissed me off every time.Although, Rosie was her sister and she deserves something just as much as I'd love to have kept everything of hers to myself.She hasn't moved things around, I'm grateful for that."I have and I would have continue
"Xander, man. Open up!" It's Nic. I wonder why he's here."The children are with Julia. Open up brother. What is going on?" he asks, I haven't moved in hours.Qaia is asleep in my arms, her face reminds me so much of Rosie's."If you don't open up the door, I am going to break in." Nic announces, he can't but I don't want him hurting Qaia when the door cracks from the impact, so I stand up and unlock it.He walks in, "you look fucked up." He comments the moment his eyes land on me.I don't respond. I don't have the energy to. "What's wrong man? You've got the kids all worried. And where is Ros-" his sentence dies off when he looks at the bed."Fuck." Tears well up in my eyes again.He pulls my head towards his and connects our forehead, "I'm so sorry." Tears are strolling down both our faces. "I-I don't know what happened. Noelle told me she wasn't breathing and... I just shut down. She can't be gone, Nicholas." I sob harder."I know, man, I know. I'm so sorry." His voice is soft,
*Two hours later*"Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Grey, it's a healthy baby girl."No words can explain the feeling that is spreading throughout my body. My heart feels so... I just don't know how to describe it.Rosie and I connect eyes, I can see the pure bliss going on behind them like a storm of some sorts, tears stream down her face, and I lean over to wipe them off."You did it, mariposa." I kiss her forehead. Our baby girl's cries fill the entire room, I throw my shirt off and accept her small frame. "8 pounds and 10 ounces," he tells me.Her face is reddened as she cries out, I sit beside Rosie and hand her over. Rosie starts to hiccup as silent tears stream down her face. She runs her finger over our baby's face."Shh-shh baby, mommy and daddy are here." she whispers, looking up at me. She cries even more when she sees me. She reaches out with one hand and wipes away the tears I didn't know I was shedding."We did it," I smile.We hold her for a while longer until the docto
After the heart to heart, if I can call it that, Xander took the pills and fell asleep. I, on the other hand, could not.I sat for hours just staring at him, so many times his face morphed from peace to anguish and from anguish to peace. It hurt me.My heart was broken. It still is.When dawn started to settle in, I spent my time on his laptop till full sunrise. I read up on the email he'd been reading, and a part of me felt guilty for not wanting to take the chemo.The other part of me was still insistent on not taking it. It would be a miserable play for all parties, I know from experience.I felt horrible for being happy and recalling all my favorite memories to my dad when all he could do was lay in his bed, hooked on machines. I ended up getting emotional and stressed, so I shut the laptop and began the day. To get my mind off everything, I had a virtual tour of the institute, then had an interior designer meet me at the house to discuss.After that, I spent time with Noelle as
"I think it's a girl. Only she can allow you to eat something like that," I freeze, my wrap just about to dip into my McShake.Ice cream turned into more cravings.I give him a deadly look, which has him laughing out loud. "She'll be an exact replica of you. She'll have your smile, your hair, your eyes, and your laugh. She's going to break many hearts because she won't be allowed to date until we're the same age." He smiles, I giggle."So, never?" He kisses my forehead."She'll have your smarts too," I finish my shake and turn to him."Well I for one, know it's going to be a boy. He'll have my hair color with your teenage curls. Everything else about him will be yours, his facial features; his voice, his eyes. Maybe he'll be lean," I shrug.His eyes hold suspicion in them, "So Jeremiah Fisher is out of the picture?"Shocked, I playfully slap his arm. "Firstly, that was one time. Secondly, that wouldn't be a bad idea either. Either way I—"Everything I ate in the last hour comes up my
Despite my wishes to keep my birthday small and at home, Xander thought otherwise, and by otherwise, I mean:He bought a private island near the Maldives, we didn't stay at it because it was barren, but we did go to it and suggested that we name it and soon talk to designers, for a beach house.A virtual meeting with a Hermès designer for a custom Kelly bag, I don't know how he did it, but he did. To say I was lost would be an understatement, Xander just laughed at me when i didn't know what to answer when it came to the leather types.He took me shopping, obviously, skiing, and I tried surfing but failed profusely. Xander, on the other hand, looked like Gabriel Medina at his best.There's nothing this man can't do.We spent a day at the villa and gave each other massages and watched movies.I loved those three days, but when we came back to the United States, I realized that I love being home rather than being away, or maybe it just has something to do with being around the girls.I
The next couple of months pass by in a blur, a week after the Logan topic we spent a couple of days in New Zealand for Xander's birthday.In June we finally got to building the institute, it's still a working progress as we speak.In the same month, I don't know what strings Xander pulled but Shane Grey signed over the rights of the company over to Xander with no argument. We celebrated just the two of us together.Ever since that day, Logan and Sophia never got in contact, she finally decided to go see the psychiatrist I recommended her. She was broken when he'd cut contact but as time passed she started to seem more like herself as Xander said.We celebrated Lucia's birthday at Disneyland late June.July fourth we finally took Rosander on a joyride if you can call it that, I think we all enjoyed the night. Xander and Julio put their differences aside for that day and even chatted among themselves, including Nic, as they all sa
His body stiffens for a minute but he continues to walk around like it doesn't affect him, it does."Yes, I guess you've missed out on a lot haven't you? While you were slowly killing a defenseless woman, I was trying to pay for our father's chemo and trying to save our brother from rotting in prison for something he never did." I let the words settle in."Well didn't you do a great job at that?" He chuckles dryly, anger bubbles in me.I walk up to him and stare him down, he doesn't shy away. "What happened to you? The James I know would have never hit a woman or abandoned his family," He chuckles again, "You mean the family that is slowly dying one by one?""That is no excuse James! I thought I could rely on you, even if you disappeared occasionally you would always pull through, but I guess you were too busy weren't you?" "What I do with my life does not concern you," disgust flows through every vein in my body.I ca
The constant beep of the heart monitor is silent.The bed is empty.The entire room is silent.My mind doesn't bother to find any reasoning, and my heart beats achingly.He's gone.There's no going back, and I have to accept it.Of course I cried, he's my father. Whether or not he's alive, he will always be, and he left with a piece of my heart; all of our hearts.A week after we came back to L.A., he left us, and a week later, we buried him next to our mother's grave.I broke down, became sick, grieved, and then I pulled myself together for my sisters.That was over two months ago. My heart still aches for my father, but it's dulled. It was time. He got his last wish, I got married.Lucia has gotten better, I'm happy that it didn't take that much of a toll on her as compared to mom's death.We've moved into the new house, the kids love it. Xander and I love it.Being back though has separated us for a while, he's been stuck in piles of work and complications with his father.Despite