Chapter 8

My heart was in my hands while i watched Austin fight not just for himself but the rest of us who couldn't. I've watched Austin grow since he was a little child when his family first joined the Red Blades pack. He was an exceptional fighter but Ryder's were better. I knew. Ryder knew. Everyone knew.

It was like fate had decided to deal with me first hand. Ever since the battle, it had been blow after blow. First my father died by the man i have loved for years, being homeless and now this. My fate was Ryder. He was the weapon being used to deal with me.

"No...no...stop!" I screamed when Austin started to take blow after blow. Everyone seemed to be enjoying the fight. Everyone but us. Ryder? I wasn't sure. He wasn't looking at the fight. He was looking right at me, watching my every expression. A predator, toying with his prey. I felt like that. Like a piece of unwanted meat was being kept because the predator wasn't ready to eat yet.

My eyes fluttered while i looked at Ryder. The fight in them had drained. The hate, the fire. Nothing was there anymore. The tears i had been holding back trickled down my cheeks. At first it was just that until it was just waterworks.

"I'm sorry..." I begged while looking at Ryder. "I'm sorry."

Ryder looked at me for the longest time before he stood up and raised his hand. The lively cheering all came to a stop. He commanded so much power, i now knew that. He looked down at the arena for the first time and gestured with his hand for his man to get off the arena, leaving Austin's almost lifeless body on the ground.

I looked over with a soft sigh as relief washed over me. I struggled to get on my feet. My eyes were fixated on Austin as i took a step. I had only made three before a strong pair of arms wrapped around me. I tried to fight against his grip and when i couldn't, i looked up to see Ryder looking down at me. He had a blank expression on his face. No love. No admiration. No pity. No empathy. Nothing.

"Please-" i begged softly while looking into his eyes. I was searching for something. For anything.

"You get to choose sweetheart-" Ryder said as his free hand reached out to wipe my tears. "You could go down there or stay here with me. The choice is yours," he whispered very gently to me. From a fat, one would think Ryder was holding his lover. Except, i wasn't. I was nothing more than his property. His bloody possession.

I looked up at Ryder. I didn't have a choice. He was just testing me, trying to see if i learnt my lesson. I looked at Ryder for a long time before my eyes averted to the unconscious Austin. Defeated, i laid my head on Ryder's arm. I felt him relax but i was far from pleased. I was seething in anger.

"Good Zed. Good boy-" he whispered softly and ordered his men to take Austin away. Satisfied, he carried me in his arms, this time, bridal style and carried me back inside his house.

Ryder was gentle even while he placed me on the bed. He crouched before me and wiped my cheeks with his thumbs. "Zed..." He called out my name and i looked away from him.

"I don't want you to think i'm doing this to hurt you. I just want you to listen to me. I want you to--" I cut Ryder off and he looked at me with a defeated sigh.

"To be your property. You want to control me. To break me. I don't know if you hate me or--" I trailed off when Ryder reached for my hand and squeezed it.

"You question me. You challenge me. You defy me. I hate that. I hate that you waltz in back into my life and act like everything is alright between us. It infuriates me to see you act like everything doesn't matter. Everyone is important to you. Everyone except..." When Ryder trailed off, i looked at him, expecting him to finish but he didn't.

"What exactly do you want from me?" I asked, more like demanded to know.

"I want you. I want you to put me first. Fuck everyone else. I want you to have eyes for me, just for me. I want you to be loyal to me. I want you to want me, to need me as much as you need your next breath. I want you paralyzed with nothing but the thought of me. Me...bloody fucking me!" He demanded and i only looked at him with a blank expression. At first, i couldn't figure out if he was joking or if he was serious.

After a moment, i scoffed before i attempted to get up from the bed. Ryder placed his hand on my chest and pushed me back down on the bed.

"You can't, can you?" Ryder asked. When i looked into his eyes, i could swear i saw some hurt in them. He had mistaken my silence for rejection. Ryder reached over and gripped my chin. His grip was so firm that i couldn't move. "Why won't you love me?" He asked softly. My heart came undone at his question. Yes, this was Ryder. He was capable of making me hate him in one moment and shake my entire existence in the next.

Before i could realize his next move, Ryder leaned into me and crushed his lips hard against mine. My eyes widened as he forcefully kissed me. It was hard, aggressive and unpleasant. I moved my hand to try and push him away and he grabbed it. He didn't wait for the other, he pinned them behind my back as he deepened the kiss. I could taste him, he tasted of fresh coffee, deep and intoxicating. Intoxicating but unpleasant. Ryder's lips, pushed between my own, demanding entrance. When my lips wouldn't open, he used his hands, which still pinned my own, to pull me close into himself. The sudden closeness made me gasp and Ryder smirk into the kiss as he used that moment to slide his tongue into my mouth. My body shuddered when his tongue brushed past mine. He groaned and i moaned softly into the kiss. My eyes snapped open. It was when i realized that they were closed in the first place and that i wasn't fighting against him. The realization made me thrush and taking advantage of the fact that Ryder thought i was into it, i bit his bottom lip, so hard that i drew blood.

Ryder pulled away from the kiss. "The fuck?!" He cursed while looking down at me. Ryder placed his hand on his lip and when he saw blood, he averted his glare back to me.

"No. What the fuck is wrong with you?!" I shot right back and glared right back at him. "Fuck you Ryder. Fuck you,"

"You're going to beg me to want to. I promise you" Ryder said, a certain promise in his words as he looked at me. He started to leave and i stopped him.

"Where are you going?" I demanded and he stopped to look at me.

"Why? I thought you couldn't stand me?" He asked and i looked away.

"Well since you're dying to know. I have a pack to protect. So, can i leave now?" He asked and i could hear the sarcasm in his voice.

"Let me go see them," i said suddenly. When Ryder turned around to look at me, i knew he'd have something to say.

"What's in it for me?" He asked and i frowned. "What will i get if i let you? You've been asking things of me since you got here and -"

"What do you want?" I cut him off with my question but as soon as it came out of my mouth. I knew i wouldn't like it.

"I want to have you, tonight-" Ryder said and i swallowed hard. How could he say something like that so casually. "I want to fuck you Zed Sanders," he added as if the situation wasn't embarrassing enough.

"Aren't... Aren't you engaged?" I asked, dodging the matter of importance.

"I would like to know what you feel like. See what you'll look like with my dick inside you. I want to make you moan. Are you going to be tight? Wet? Eager? I want to know it all."

"Ryder.." I whispered his name softly.

"Yes or no?" He asked and i couldn't answer. I couldn't say anything. He saw it too.

"I'm going to leave that door open. Nobody's going to stop you Zed but if you go out, i'll take that as a yes. This is all up to you-" Ryder decided before he turned around and walked out of the bedroom, leaving me a mess. My breathing was hot and quick. I was panting just from a mere description. He wanted me.

Ryder wanted me in the most unconventional way.