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Chapter 59: Brett
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2022-10-26 14:23:32Related chapters
The Bound Collection Chapter 60: Annie
Never had I seen Brett so emotional, so shattered. My failure left him bereft and brokenhearted. As I rode to the hospital, he held my hand, while my mind bombarded me with painful memories and thoughts of worthlessness. Plagued by inadequacy, I wondered how my husband would endure my punishments, those God kept placing on me. The guilt was almost unbearable. I tried to stop the tears; I didn't deserve to cry. This was warranted, my penance for not saving Will, for not having the strength or the courage to do what was necessary to pull him out of his living hell. Then there was Cole, once again my weakness, weakness for a man, had cost me a life. I thought I'd done things differently this time. "Sweetheart, talk to me." Brett's faint voice dragged me out of the haze.Unable to respond verbally, I squeezed his hand to acknowledge I'd heard him and offered him a meager grimace hoping to pass it off as a smile. "Are you in pain...physically?" The hesitation in his voice indicated his
Last Updated : 2022-10-26The Bound Collection Chapter 61: Annie
It was a struggle not to succumb to the devastation of losing another baby. Brett was disappointed, but he didn't outwardly look to cast blame on me. Although, he had suggested I go back to seeing my counselor on my own in addition to our time with him as a couple. Somehow it felt like starting over-the pain of another loss, but Dr. Carthage kept reminding me how differently I had dealt with this miscarriage. When I got home from the hospital, I stayed in bed for one solid day. Brett stayed with me catering to my needs, holding me. But on the second day home, we got up and spent the day together trying to be normal. We'd called in sick, which neither of us ever did, but it was necessary and had been much needed. There were tears and sadness, but I wasn't overcome with the level of grief I'd suffered with Cole. It took Dr. Carthage pointing out that didn't mean I loved this child any less, it simply meant I had learned to cope-without drugs-and without falling into a pit of despair. I
Last Updated : 2022-10-26The Bound Collection Chapter 62: Annie
Fourteen days flew by, and pre-op had been a bunch of nothing. Brett and I were sitting at the hospital at the ass-crack of dawn waiting to be taken back. I thought I'd be nervous or afraid, but an eerie calm had washed over me. Brett, on the other hand, was a nervous wreck."Brett, you need to calm down. Your leg bouncing like a rubber ball is making me anxious." I tried to tease him with a poke in the side, but he scowled in return. "Being grumpy won't change anything. All it does is make the time before the procedure miserable for both of us.""I can't help it, Annie. Going under anesthesia for any reason is dangerous, and I'm nervous. It's the most helpless feeling in the world to sit and wait. Every bit of what happens is out of my control. I'm worried, so give me a break." His breath hitched when he said the last word, and my heart ached."I know. I do. But, people go under anesthesia every day. This is really important to me, and the answer is more valuable than the risk.""
Last Updated : 2022-10-26The Bound Collection Chapter 63: Brett
Three hours had passed, no one had been out to update me, and I began to panic, more than I had when we passed the two-hour mark. Dr. Matthews indicated the procedure normally took one to two hours but could go three depending on what they found. He said nothing about it being longer, and in my estimation, she should be in recovery by now. I'd been up to the nurse's desk a handful of times, and with each visit, she was more sympathetic than the last but still had no answers. Dr. Matthews came through the double doors after three hours and seventeen minutes with a grave look on his face. He balled his surgical mask in his hand before extending the other in a formal greeting."Mr. Ryann, you can come back to see her. I'll go over what we found with you, but she'll likely be in recovery for another hour before you guys move to a room. Once she's awake, I'll be happy to answer any questions you have in greater detail." He clapped me on the shoulder in a brotherly fashion and led me to m
Last Updated : 2022-10-26The Bound Collection Chapter 64: Brett
When her eyes began to open, she found me instantly. A sleepy smile graced her lips, and my heart beamed with pride amidst the pain she was soon to face. Even in a hospital bed, she was the most gorgeous thing I'd ever laid eyes on. I stood and kissed her cheek."Hey, sweetheart. How are you feeling?"She didn't respond, but her smile grew larger, and her eyes closed. It was hard not to chuckle at her drug-induced haze. There was no point in rushing her through it-reality would be sobering enough when it hit, and it would wait on her. In and out of consciousness, or maybe just sleep, she finally spoke a little when a nurse roused her. Her vitals were good, and the nurse assured me she just needed to rest, so we moved to a room upstairs. My legs grew numb sitting in a miserable chair watching countless programs on television while I waited for her. Part of me wondered if subconsciously she knew what she would face if she opened her eyes and welcomed the world back. The mind was capa
Last Updated : 2022-10-26The Bound Collection Chapter 65: Annie
I hadn't been able to persuade Brett that buying a baby wasn't an option. He had convinced himself we could simply put out feelers on the black market and have an infant next week. In his mind, with enough money, we could have whatever we wanted. While I loved his exuberance, he wouldn't even know how to go underground if it were an option. One thing he had proven, repeatedly, was his love and devotion. It was unwavering, and regardless of how much I struggled against it, his commitment remained intact. In the weeks following the miscarriage, I spent more time with Dr. Carthage wondering why everything was such a struggle for me. Normal people moved on, tried again, kept hoping, and considered other options. For me, there were no other options-everything was absolute and final. I wasn't interested in adoption the more I'd thought about it, and infertility treatments just weren't for me. We looked at in vitro, spent tons of time researching it, and even went to a specialist in Atlanta
Last Updated : 2022-10-26The Bound Collection Chapter 66: Annie
The four of us met at a little Greek restaurant downtown, and the moment I laid eyes on her, I knew why Dan had kept her around. Lissa and I were so much alike it was uncanny. Brett and Dan were like twins, and this girl and I could have passed for the same. I assumed when Brett told me where we were going it was to appease my casual style. Turned out, Dan had picked the restaurant, and it suited both me and Lissa. All the way down to her worn black Docs. Lissa's kind heart showed through in everything she did, from the way she watched Dan, to her touching his forearm when she recalled a story from one of their dates. But she could go toe to toe with him. When he gave her a ration of crap, she held her own. Her eyes danced in playful jest as they bantered back and forth. I'd never seen Dan with a woman who complemented him as well as Lissa did. The fact she was stunning only further helped her case. Dan's features never registered with me. He was my husband's best friend since birt
Last Updated : 2022-10-26The Bound Collection Chapter 67: Annie
Brett left early the next morning to meet Dan for a basketball tournament at the YMCA. The league they played in held a tournament at the end of every season, and their team typically made it to the finals. This was the semi-finals, and they'd be gone most of the day. Leaning off the side of the bed, I dug my phone out of my jeans to send him a text wishing him good luck and to tell him I loved him. I'd forgotten about silencing the conversation with Gray until I saw the red notification that glowed on the message app.Gray: How'd you know I got divorced?Gray: Never mind. I'm sure Brett told you.Gray: I guess you're busy. I thought Brett was out of town this weekend and had hoped we could talk.Gray: Guess not.Gray: It's been a really hard day. Needed a friend. You're the only person who understands.I read his texts over and over, contemplating the best way to handle the situation, whether or not to reply. My text to Brett forgotten, my fingers hovered over the keyboard in
Last Updated : 2022-10-26
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The Bound Collection Chapter 150: Epilogue
Our story didn't stop at the courthouse. We had dinner with Brett and Annie that night and hovered around their kitchen table. My best friends allowed me to share Joshua with them and gave life to his memory. I showed them the only pictures I still had while holding Alissa in my arms. She smiled up at me as if she knew. That tiny human connected with me on a level she may never understand, but somehow, she knew-without Joshua, she wouldn't be here. Watching her run around with her friends as we celebrated her birth five years later, I couldn't help but think how foolish it would have been to walk away from all of this. Dan and I would never have children, but what we had was far better for us. Annie and Brett were more like siblings than friends, and their kids were amazing. We got to spoil them, take them anywhere we wanted, and send them home. We had family at holidays and special occasions, and we never missed out on anything either Grayson or Alissa were doing. But at the end of
The Bound Collection Chapter 149
I had called repeatedly, but each try had gone straight to voicemail. Either his phone was off, or it died without being charged overnight. I didn't want to speculate about which it was. I drove as quickly as I could and slammed the SUV in park in the first spot I could find before racing into the courthouse. I followed the signs to the Justice of the Peace, but when I reached the office, completely out of breath, Dan was nowhere to be found. The clock on the wall read 10:11 am. My eyes scanned the room, making sure to identify each person as a stranger before moving on to the next face. Surely, he hadn't left after ten minutes. He had to know I'd come. A guy slammed into my shoulder in his haste to rush out of the office, not even bothering to apologize for nearly knocking me over. But standing stock-still in the middle of the doorway probably wasn't the best idea. I just couldn't believe he'd left. I waited for hours for Matt to show up at the hospital, but Dan hadn't waited ten lo
The Bound Collection Chapter 148
My night had been restless, and just as quiet as the evening after Dan and I had gotten out of the bathtub. He left after dinner and went to Brett's house, but I didn't have the courage to ask him what he'd done while he was there. He returned in the same mood he'd left in, the one he was known for. To an outsider, he appeared unwavering-but I knew with time to think about it, he'd decide he couldn't stay."Did you want to get a new dress for tomorrow?" "For what?""To go to the courthouse? Or do you want to do the whole thing off the wall and wear jeans?" He kept unloading the dishwasher like he had asked what I needed from the grocery store. "I didn't think we were still doing that?" Maybe he'd taken up drinking.He turned toward me suddenly, dropping a dishtowel he'd used to dry his hands with. "What are you talking about? You said Monday. Tomorrow is Monday.""Dan...""No, don't Dan me. Has something changed that you don't want to marry me now?"Oh, for the love of God. I
The Bound Collection Chapter 147
I stood in the spot he left me in when he returned with towels from the dryer. He set them on the counter, turned off the water in the now full tub, and removed his clothes. I watched in a trance until he was before me with nothing on. With my hand in his, he stepped over the side of the bathtub and then helped me in. The garden tub was made for two, and I nestled myself between his legs while he leaned back. The bubbles created a cover, hiding our bodies except for the parts of us not under the water. My fingers fidgeted nervously with the white foam until he took my hand and wound his fingers between mine.He might have been waiting for me to start, but I didn't know what to say. The silence was painful, and I ran through the scenarios of how this might play out...none of which ended well."What was his name?" The words of inquiry fanned out against my skin like a warm blanket. They were gentle and softly spoken, inviting me to open up about a piece of me I hadn't shared with anyon
The Bound Collection Chapter 146
We walked into the sanctuary with two minutes to spare. Brett quickly found Dan, and Annie was in a tizzy. Alissa was nestled into a cradle her dad had created with his arm completely unaffected by her father's helpless panic. "Dude, slow down. What's wrong?"I held Dan's hand in front of Brett, but Alissa had my attention. Just as Brett started to answer Dan's question, Annie came around the corner. Her face was flush, and if I had to bet, I'd say she was roughly two minutes from pulling her hair out.I hadn't heard anything Brett said to my fiancé. The moment Annie got close enough, I saw why she was distressed. Grayson had spit up all over his christening gown...and it stunk, even from here.People started to fill the pews. "What do you need me to do, Annie?"Brett stepped in, suddenly relieved and in control. "Nothing. We're good. Dan went to get stuff out of the car."My brow scrunched in confusion. I had no idea what was going on or how Dan was helping."Seriously, Lissa.
The Bound Collection Chapter 145
The time on my phone couldn't be right. There was no way it was a quarter to eight. Somehow in my haste to get to sleep I either hadn't turned on my alarm or had turned it off an hour ago when it rang. I threw the covers back and practically fell out of bed. The thud of my body on the floor woke Dan whose concern, while well intended, only slowed my progress out the door."Let me go. I have fifteen minutes to get to Annie's house, and I had planned to shower before I went."He didn't relinquish his grasp on me once he got up. "Lissa, calm down. You aren't going to do anyone any good in a panic." I relaxed until I felt the tension in his arms subside and then made my break. "I'll be back. Can you get the gifts out of the closet and throw them in the bags on the kitchen counter? There's tissue paper there, too.""Sure, where are they?"I raced around tearing my pajamas off to put on a bra and some real clothes. As much as I loved Brett, I wasn't interested in him seeing any more of
The Bound Collection Chapter 144
"You look like shit, Lissa. Did you have a baby that keeps you up at night, and I missed it?"I swung my attention to Annie to find her giggling to herself. "You don't look so hot yourself, heifer." The wink I shot her direction ensured she saw my playfulness. "I haven't slept all that well the last couple nights." I didn't need to tell her why."Bad dreams?" She'd become a pro at this whole parenting gig. She never missed a beat with either kid and managed to hold completely coherent, adult conversations while breastfeeding one and changing the other. Anyone else would need more hands but not Annie Ryann. "I don't know what it is. Just not getting a lot of rest."She stopped what she was doing and gave me the eye. The one that told me she didn't believe a word I said. I scooped Alissa up and ignored her."Spill it.""There's nothing to spill. I'm just not sleeping well.""Are you nervous about getting married?"Her question was natural, based on the fact that event loomed jus
The Bound Collection Chapter 143
I'd spent most of the summer with Annie, Alissa, and Grayson while Dan and Brett worked. As my vacation neared its end, I got excited about returning to work. I couldn't wait to be around my students again and the music. I dreaded seeing Rob, but hopefully, he'd be somewhat human now that some time had passed. I hadn't heard from him in the time I'd been off except for the email he sent out to the department today about meetings over the next couple weeks. It would be strange being away from the kids. Annie and I were more like co-mothers, with her taking the lead and the long nights. But I'd spent several of those with her as well. I knew how exhausting one infant was...I couldn't leave her alone with two, and Brett still had to work. Maybe it was an excuse to feel like I was an important part of their lives and their team. Maybe it gave me a piece of what I'd lost years earlier. Either way, I found myself having to be pried away from them. When I told Annie to let me know if I got
The Bound Collection Chapter 142
The addition of Alissa Danielle to our tribe had been profound. I loved being able to walk across the driveway to relieve my friend in the morning so she could shower, take a nap, or whatever else she was in the mood to do. I didn't care what it was. I'd help her with laundry, cleaning, anything to keep her from experiencing the sleep deprivation that had caused the end of the world I knew. It was twice as bad for her because with each passing day, she became more pregnant and less able to move...or stay awake. I took advantage of the time she granted me with Alissa and tried to maintain the bond the two of us shared. I knew it would change over time, but I hoped as she grew older it would strengthen in different ways. I wanted to be her friend, her confidant, her second mom. In the few weeks she'd been alive, Dan and I both had fallen head over heels for her. But at the end of each day, we got to go next door, have sex as loudly as we wanted to, stay out until all hours of the night
