Chapter 61: Annie

It was a struggle not to succumb to the devastation of losing another baby. Brett was disappointed, but he didn't outwardly look to cast blame on me. Although, he had suggested I go back to seeing my counselor on my own in addition to our time with him as a couple. Somehow it felt like starting over-the pain of another loss, but Dr. Carthage kept reminding me how differently I had dealt with this miscarriage. When I got home from the hospital, I stayed in bed for one solid day. Brett stayed with me catering to my needs, holding me. But on the second day home, we got up and spent the day together trying to be normal. We'd called in sick, which neither of us ever did, but it was necessary and had been much needed. There were tears and sadness, but I wasn't overcome with the level of grief I'd suffered with Cole. It took Dr. Carthage pointing out that didn't mean I loved this child any less, it simply meant I had learned to cope-without drugs-and without falling into a pit of despair.

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