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Chapter 65: Annie

Author: Stephie Walls
last update Last Updated: 2022-10-26 14:23:32
I hadn't been able to persuade Brett that buying a baby wasn't an option. He had convinced himself we could simply put out feelers on the black market and have an infant next week. In his mind, with enough money, we could have whatever we wanted. While I loved his exuberance, he wouldn't even know how to go underground if it were an option. One thing he had proven, repeatedly, was his love and devotion. It was unwavering, and regardless of how much I struggled against it, his commitment remained intact.

In the weeks following the miscarriage, I spent more time with Dr. Carthage wondering why everything was such a struggle for me. Normal people moved on, tried again, kept hoping, and considered other options. For me, there were no other options-everything was absolute and final. I wasn't interested in adoption the more I'd thought about it, and infertility treatments just weren't for me. We looked at in vitro, spent tons of time researching it, and even went to a specialist in Atlanta
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  • The Bound Collection   Chapter 66: Annie

    The four of us met at a little Greek restaurant downtown, and the moment I laid eyes on her, I knew why Dan had kept her around. Lissa and I were so much alike it was uncanny. Brett and Dan were like twins, and this girl and I could have passed for the same. I assumed when Brett told me where we were going it was to appease my casual style. Turned out, Dan had picked the restaurant, and it suited both me and Lissa. All the way down to her worn black Docs. Lissa's kind heart showed through in everything she did, from the way she watched Dan, to her touching his forearm when she recalled a story from one of their dates. But she could go toe to toe with him. When he gave her a ration of crap, she held her own. Her eyes danced in playful jest as they bantered back and forth. I'd never seen Dan with a woman who complemented him as well as Lissa did. The fact she was stunning only further helped her case. Dan's features never registered with me. He was my husband's best friend since birt

    Last Updated : 2022-10-26

  • The Bound Collection   Chapter 67: Annie

    Brett left early the next morning to meet Dan for a basketball tournament at the YMCA. The league they played in held a tournament at the end of every season, and their team typically made it to the finals. This was the semi-finals, and they'd be gone most of the day. Leaning off the side of the bed, I dug my phone out of my jeans to send him a text wishing him good luck and to tell him I loved him. I'd forgotten about silencing the conversation with Gray until I saw the red notification that glowed on the message app.Gray: How'd you know I got divorced?Gray: Never mind. I'm sure Brett told you.Gray: I guess you're busy. I thought Brett was out of town this weekend and had hoped we could talk.Gray: Guess not.Gray: It's been a really hard day. Needed a friend. You're the only person who understands.I read his texts over and over, contemplating the best way to handle the situation, whether or not to reply. My text to Brett forgotten, my fingers hovered over the keyboard in

    Last Updated : 2022-10-26

  • The Bound Collection   Chapter 68: Annie

    I'd been on such a high yesterday with Brett's game and hanging out with Lissa, Lynn's showing up this morning brought me crashing down. We'd made plans earlier in the week to take the dreaded monthly pregnancy test, but somehow it didn't feel right without Brett. Or maybe I didn't want to face the disappointment without him. I never understood how women said they knew until now-now I understood. I knew I wasn't pregnant and didn't need to pee on a stick for confirmation."You're really not going to do it?" Lynn asked, miffed."What's the point?" This had become harder each month that ended with the same answer."Maybe this is the month? You guys haven't been trying that long."I glared at my friend-time was relative. A year may not seem like much in her world, but it was an eternity in mine. I knew what she meant, but that wasn't the way my heart wanted to take it. As sweetly as I could muster, I responded, "You're right. It hasn't been the years many people try, but I've now had

    Last Updated : 2022-10-26

  • The Bound Collection   Chapter 69: Annie

    Gray texted me daily. None of it seemed significant, and I shared every message with Brett, but he hadn't been interested in the details. I'd watched for signs of irritation but hadn't seen any. I offered to let him read the communication, but while he appreciated my telling him about them, he didn't need to see them. I guess he figured if I shared that they took place it wasn't likely I was doing something I should be hiding. But after a taxing night of baby discussions, miscarriage acknowledgments, and once again beating the dead horse about adoption, I made a mistake and reached out. It wasn't so much that I wanted to talk to Gray as I wanted to vent to someone who wouldn't stick up for Brett and tell me what a wonderful husband he was for trying to give us a family. I already knew all of that, but I needed an outlet who wouldn't insist on playing Devil's advocate. The words flowed too easily, the confessions too intimate. Every doubt, every fear, every frustration, and hang up-

    Last Updated : 2022-10-26

  • The Bound Collection   Chapter 70: Brett

    It pained me to contemplate her wanting to see him again, but there was something in Annie that would never heal until she could recognize it wasn't her job to save him. There wasn't an ounce of me that believed she wanted to be with him although that may have been naïve. I just knew my wife. She had told me years ago she hoped they could be friends. Before we ever married, she confided in me her desire for friendship, but I never believed it would transpire. I assumed when Gray realized she had moved on, he'd leave her alone in favor of some other obsession. Maybe I had hoped some part of him loved her enough to do so. But that would require him to acknowledge he had hurt her to begin with, and he clearly had yet to do that. After almost four years, I foolishly believed he was out of her life forever. I knew our relationship was strong enough to withstand the likes of Gray, but I didn't want her confiding in him. Selfishly, I didn't want her sharing any of our lives with him. I didn

    Last Updated : 2022-10-26

  • The Bound Collection   Chapter 71: Annie

    We agreed to meet at Applebee's. I couldn't help but think of the odd significance this restaurant had in our relationship. The first time we hung out beyond the DC was at the Applebee's closest to 3 Tier when Gray was still married. Now it was the Applebee's closest to my newest client, and I was the one who was married. The difference was Gray knew I was married, and my husband knew where I was. I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous. I continuously rubbed my sweaty palms on my jeans. I hadn't seen Gray, not even in passing, in years. It was odd how the universe kept throwing us together when we were single, but once I got married, I never ran into him, never even caught a glimpse of him until I ran into him at the DC recently. As soon as I pulled into the parking lot, I saw him standing up against a silver Harley with his feet crossed at the ankles and arms over his chest. He was just as stunning as he'd always been, but he'd filled out a little. Mostly it was just the natu

    Last Updated : 2022-10-26

  • The Bound Collection   Chapter 72: Annie

    Eliminating the pressure of having an agenda in our marriage brought Brett and me back to where we'd been pre-baby craze. It didn't change the fact that every time my period came, I wondered whether it was a fertilized egg that was unable to implant in my uterus-an unrecognized miscarriage so early on we weren't aware it was a pregnancy-but at least that was only once a month. We tried to resume our social life and just enjoy each other. We spent more and more time with Dan and Lissa, and I had fast developed a strong bond with Dan's girlfriend.We spent most weekends with them, and those we didn't, I talked to Lissa regularly. Dan and Brett joked about how dependent we'd become on each other, but the truth was, I had really connected with her. She knew just about all there was to know about me, except what happened with Will. She knew the gist of it but didn't have any details. Even after all these years, sharing his story still felt like a violation, so when his name came up, I only

    Last Updated : 2022-10-26

  • The Bound Collection   Chapter 73: Annie

    The next morning, I remembered little of the night before, but I felt every sip of it. Holy crap my head was throbbing. As I peeked through the tiny slits between my eyelids, attempting to avoid the light of day, I rolled into a wall of Brett. I had no idea if everyone else felt the way I did, but I hoped for their sakes they had stayed sober. Cheap wine had not been good to me. When Brett groaned in pain, I realized my husband had followed me down a drunken path. I couldn't remember much about what we'd done after we got home last night other than started drinking. I knew they had put some movie on, but Lissa and I were yapping, and the wine flowed, and before I knew it, I had delved into stories about my past. Oh God, as bits and pieces came back to me, I wondered if Brett and I even still had friends and why my husband hadn't left me.His large hand found my hip and pulled me to him. "Do you feel as bad as I do?" he croaked with his head under the pillow."Worse. What were you t

    Last Updated : 2022-10-26

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  • The Bound Collection   Chapter 150: Epilogue

    Our story didn't stop at the courthouse. We had dinner with Brett and Annie that night and hovered around their kitchen table. My best friends allowed me to share Joshua with them and gave life to his memory. I showed them the only pictures I still had while holding Alissa in my arms. She smiled up at me as if she knew. That tiny human connected with me on a level she may never understand, but somehow, she knew-without Joshua, she wouldn't be here. Watching her run around with her friends as we celebrated her birth five years later, I couldn't help but think how foolish it would have been to walk away from all of this. Dan and I would never have children, but what we had was far better for us. Annie and Brett were more like siblings than friends, and their kids were amazing. We got to spoil them, take them anywhere we wanted, and send them home. We had family at holidays and special occasions, and we never missed out on anything either Grayson or Alissa were doing. But at the end of

  • The Bound Collection   Chapter 149

    I had called repeatedly, but each try had gone straight to voicemail. Either his phone was off, or it died without being charged overnight. I didn't want to speculate about which it was. I drove as quickly as I could and slammed the SUV in park in the first spot I could find before racing into the courthouse. I followed the signs to the Justice of the Peace, but when I reached the office, completely out of breath, Dan was nowhere to be found. The clock on the wall read 10:11 am. My eyes scanned the room, making sure to identify each person as a stranger before moving on to the next face. Surely, he hadn't left after ten minutes. He had to know I'd come. A guy slammed into my shoulder in his haste to rush out of the office, not even bothering to apologize for nearly knocking me over. But standing stock-still in the middle of the doorway probably wasn't the best idea. I just couldn't believe he'd left. I waited for hours for Matt to show up at the hospital, but Dan hadn't waited ten lo

  • The Bound Collection   Chapter 148

    My night had been restless, and just as quiet as the evening after Dan and I had gotten out of the bathtub. He left after dinner and went to Brett's house, but I didn't have the courage to ask him what he'd done while he was there. He returned in the same mood he'd left in, the one he was known for. To an outsider, he appeared unwavering-but I knew with time to think about it, he'd decide he couldn't stay."Did you want to get a new dress for tomorrow?" "For what?""To go to the courthouse? Or do you want to do the whole thing off the wall and wear jeans?" He kept unloading the dishwasher like he had asked what I needed from the grocery store. "I didn't think we were still doing that?" Maybe he'd taken up drinking.He turned toward me suddenly, dropping a dishtowel he'd used to dry his hands with. "What are you talking about? You said Monday. Tomorrow is Monday.""Dan...""No, don't Dan me. Has something changed that you don't want to marry me now?"Oh, for the love of God. I

  • The Bound Collection   Chapter 147

    I stood in the spot he left me in when he returned with towels from the dryer. He set them on the counter, turned off the water in the now full tub, and removed his clothes. I watched in a trance until he was before me with nothing on. With my hand in his, he stepped over the side of the bathtub and then helped me in. The garden tub was made for two, and I nestled myself between his legs while he leaned back. The bubbles created a cover, hiding our bodies except for the parts of us not under the water. My fingers fidgeted nervously with the white foam until he took my hand and wound his fingers between mine.He might have been waiting for me to start, but I didn't know what to say. The silence was painful, and I ran through the scenarios of how this might play out...none of which ended well."What was his name?" The words of inquiry fanned out against my skin like a warm blanket. They were gentle and softly spoken, inviting me to open up about a piece of me I hadn't shared with anyon

  • The Bound Collection   Chapter 146

    We walked into the sanctuary with two minutes to spare. Brett quickly found Dan, and Annie was in a tizzy. Alissa was nestled into a cradle her dad had created with his arm completely unaffected by her father's helpless panic. "Dude, slow down. What's wrong?"I held Dan's hand in front of Brett, but Alissa had my attention. Just as Brett started to answer Dan's question, Annie came around the corner. Her face was flush, and if I had to bet, I'd say she was roughly two minutes from pulling her hair out.I hadn't heard anything Brett said to my fiancé. The moment Annie got close enough, I saw why she was distressed. Grayson had spit up all over his christening gown...and it stunk, even from here.People started to fill the pews. "What do you need me to do, Annie?"Brett stepped in, suddenly relieved and in control. "Nothing. We're good. Dan went to get stuff out of the car."My brow scrunched in confusion. I had no idea what was going on or how Dan was helping."Seriously, Lissa.

  • The Bound Collection   Chapter 145

    The time on my phone couldn't be right. There was no way it was a quarter to eight. Somehow in my haste to get to sleep I either hadn't turned on my alarm or had turned it off an hour ago when it rang. I threw the covers back and practically fell out of bed. The thud of my body on the floor woke Dan whose concern, while well intended, only slowed my progress out the door."Let me go. I have fifteen minutes to get to Annie's house, and I had planned to shower before I went."He didn't relinquish his grasp on me once he got up. "Lissa, calm down. You aren't going to do anyone any good in a panic." I relaxed until I felt the tension in his arms subside and then made my break. "I'll be back. Can you get the gifts out of the closet and throw them in the bags on the kitchen counter? There's tissue paper there, too.""Sure, where are they?"I raced around tearing my pajamas off to put on a bra and some real clothes. As much as I loved Brett, I wasn't interested in him seeing any more of

  • The Bound Collection   Chapter 144

    "You look like shit, Lissa. Did you have a baby that keeps you up at night, and I missed it?"I swung my attention to Annie to find her giggling to herself. "You don't look so hot yourself, heifer." The wink I shot her direction ensured she saw my playfulness. "I haven't slept all that well the last couple nights." I didn't need to tell her why."Bad dreams?" She'd become a pro at this whole parenting gig. She never missed a beat with either kid and managed to hold completely coherent, adult conversations while breastfeeding one and changing the other. Anyone else would need more hands but not Annie Ryann. "I don't know what it is. Just not getting a lot of rest."She stopped what she was doing and gave me the eye. The one that told me she didn't believe a word I said. I scooped Alissa up and ignored her."Spill it.""There's nothing to spill. I'm just not sleeping well.""Are you nervous about getting married?"Her question was natural, based on the fact that event loomed jus

  • The Bound Collection   Chapter 143

    I'd spent most of the summer with Annie, Alissa, and Grayson while Dan and Brett worked. As my vacation neared its end, I got excited about returning to work. I couldn't wait to be around my students again and the music. I dreaded seeing Rob, but hopefully, he'd be somewhat human now that some time had passed. I hadn't heard from him in the time I'd been off except for the email he sent out to the department today about meetings over the next couple weeks. It would be strange being away from the kids. Annie and I were more like co-mothers, with her taking the lead and the long nights. But I'd spent several of those with her as well. I knew how exhausting one infant was...I couldn't leave her alone with two, and Brett still had to work. Maybe it was an excuse to feel like I was an important part of their lives and their team. Maybe it gave me a piece of what I'd lost years earlier. Either way, I found myself having to be pried away from them. When I told Annie to let me know if I got

  • The Bound Collection   Chapter 142

    The addition of Alissa Danielle to our tribe had been profound. I loved being able to walk across the driveway to relieve my friend in the morning so she could shower, take a nap, or whatever else she was in the mood to do. I didn't care what it was. I'd help her with laundry, cleaning, anything to keep her from experiencing the sleep deprivation that had caused the end of the world I knew. It was twice as bad for her because with each passing day, she became more pregnant and less able to move...or stay awake. I took advantage of the time she granted me with Alissa and tried to maintain the bond the two of us shared. I knew it would change over time, but I hoped as she grew older it would strengthen in different ways. I wanted to be her friend, her confidant, her second mom. In the few weeks she'd been alive, Dan and I both had fallen head over heels for her. But at the end of each day, we got to go next door, have sex as loudly as we wanted to, stay out until all hours of the night

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