Chapter 1

"Good job, girls!" Pumalakpak ako nang gawin ng mga studyante ko rito sa yoga class ang huling step nila. "I'll see you next week."

I dismissed them with a smile, breathing shallowly, bending to roll my yoga mat up, as April, my best friend and receptionist came walking into the room, her eyes sparkling with humor. 

"Mukhang blooming ka ngayon, ah!" she teased. "Nadiligan ka ng marami kagabi, ano! Ilang rounds ang nagawa niyo—"

Malakas, ngunit pabiro kong hinampas ang braso niya para patigilin ang sasabihin niya. Luminga ako sa likuran ko kung may tao pa roon, at nang makita na kami ang nasa loob ay natawa ako 

I grinned at her. It was the date of my third wedding anniversary with my husband Michael, and I was looking forward to celebrating with him. I had plans to cook him a special candlelit dinner... and had even purchased special lingerie for the anticipation of what was to come afterward.

"Wedding anniversary namin ngayon," kindat ko sa kanya. "I can't believe it's been three years already," I told her excitedly, "I just hope he hasn't forgotten what day it is today. He's been a little distracted lately."

Ngumuso siya at inangkla ang kamay sa akin. Sabay kaming naglakad palabas na parang tuko at hindi mapaghiwalay.

"Naku, kailan ba kinalimutan ng asawa mo ang anniversary niyo?" Tinaasan niya ako ng kilay. "Di ba nga, parati yang may pa malaking bulaklak at surprise."

I frowned. Distracted was putting it mildly. Hindi pa kailan man nakalimutan ni Michael ang anniversary naming dalawa. Walang okasyon sa pamilya na nakakalimutan ang asawa ko. Isa sa nagustuhan ko sa kanya ay ang pagiging family oriented niya. Mas importante sa kanya ang pamilya, kaysa anong bagay.

But lately, it was as though Michael was in a world of his own. I knew he was busy with work and I did everything I could to minimize the stress at home, making sure dinner was on the table when he arrived home, keeping the house clean and even assisting at the law firm he owned when required, so that he didn't need to hire a temp. I didn't mind. As long as Michael was happy, I was happy.

"Baka pumunta kami ng Hongkong," pag-iimagine ko. Noong isang taon ko pa talaga gusto pumunta ng Hongkong, pero nagkaroon ng emergency sa law firm. Kaya ang sabi niya ay sa wedding anniversary na lang daw namin.

"Napakaswerte mo kay Michael," may pait na bulalas ni April. Parati kasi silang nag-aaway mag-asawa. Paano ba naman kasi, kung hindi umuuwing lasing ang asawa niya, naroon naman ito sa babae.

"Sabi ko naman sayo, hiwalayan mo," suhestiyon ko sa kanya. Hindi dapat siya pumapayag na itrato siya ng ganon ng asawa niya. Ilang beses ko na rin sa kanya sinabi na iwan na niya ang asawa, pero ewan ko ba kung bakit hindi niya iyon magawa.

Nagbuntong-hininga siya. "Nasasabi mo yan dahil wala ka sa sitwasyon ko, Lila. May anak kami... ayaw ko lumaki na walang ama ang mga anak ko."

Hindi ako nakasagot. Tama naman siya, wala ako sa sitwasyon niya. Kung sa akin siguro mangyari ang nangyayari sa kanya ngayon ay mababaliw ako. Hindi ko kakayanin kung may ibang babae si Michael. Pero alam ko rin at kampante ako na hindi iyon magagawa ng asawa ko sa akin. Ni minsan ay hindi pinasama ni Michael ang loob ko. Hindi niya ako hinahayaan na magselos o magalit.

Halos lahat nga ng kakilala namin ay tinatawag na 'perfect' ang pagsasama namin. Anak na lang talaga ang kulang, kaya sana ay sa mga susunod na buwan mabuntis na ako. Alam kong gusto na rin ni Michael na magka-anak kami, pero hindi niya ako pini-pressure. Kung kailan daw kami biyayaan ay ayos lang iyon sa kanya.

"Do you want me to stay?" pag-iiba ko ng usapan. "I can help you lock up para mas mabilis ka makauwi?" I offered, and she gave me a dirty look.

"No thanks. You go get dinner ready for that green forest husband of yours," she muttered. Sabay naman kaming natawa sa biro niyang iyon. "I can lock up the studio alone tonight. That way you have plenty of time before he gets home from work. Alam ko naman na naghahanda ka ng mala acrobatics position—"

Muli ko siyang hinampas sa pangalawang pagkakataon. "Ikaw talaga!" suway ko sa kanya.

Nagpaalam na ako sa kanya at hinalikan siya sa pisngi. Wala akong dalang sasakyan ngayon kaya naglakad lang ako. Hindi rin naman ganon kalayo ang bahay namin, kaya mas pinili ko talaga na huwag magdala ng sasakyan.

There was a slight chill in the air and I braced myself, walking down the street as crowds of people swarmed past me. That was the only negative thing about living in a major city... I thought with a grimace, the multitude of people, but then, the yoga studio wouldn't be doing as well as it did, if it wasn't in such a central location.

I rubbed my arms, shivering as I walked, eager to get inside and out of the cold. I hummed under my breath, feeling my spirits rise with every step I took.

Sana ay wala pa sa bahay si Michael. Naiwan ko kasi ang cellphone ko sa bahay kaya hindi ko siya nakausap ngayong araw. Kapag hindi naman niya ako makontak ay tiyak akong tatawag siya sa isa sa mga kasambahay namin para itanong kung nasaan ako. Michael and I had been together since college kaya't kilala na naman ang isa't-isa. Pero nasa bakasyon ang lahat ng kasambahay namin ngayon. Taon-taon ay pinagbabakasyon sila ni Michael ng dalawang linggo. 

I rounded the corner and my brows creased together in surprise as I spotted Michael's large SUV in the driveway. Mukhang hindi ko na siya maipagluluto. Mag-o-order na lang siguro kami ng pagkain sa paborito niyang restaurant.

I bit the inside of my lip, feeling recharge. Sana ay hindi niya makita ang bagong dating kong order na sexy roleplay outfit.

My hand rifled through my overlarge handbag and dug out my keys. I don't know why I didn't just knock. I guess I was so used to getting home and letting myself in, that I did it on instinct. I unlocked the door and let myself in, gently kicking the door shut behind me.

I frowned. Even though Michael was home, all the lights remained firmly turned off. Had he gone to sleep upstairs? Was he sick?

I felt concerned as I took in his briefcase put hastily by the door and his wallet next to his keys on the kitchen bench. 

"Huwag niyang sabihin na wala siyang surprise ngayon at nakalimutan niya ang anniversary?" bulong ko sa sarili ko. "Magtatampo talaga ako kapag hindi niya naalala kung anong meron ngayon!"

I made my way to the stairs and headed up quietly towards our bedroom. 

"Oh... oh god—harder...harder, Michael! Sige pa, ang sarap!" I heard a woman's voice cry out.

"You like it don't you? You like it rough?" Michael's voice growled. "Gaano kasarap?"

Natigilan ako, dahan-dahang kumunot ang noo. Humakbang pa ako ng dalawang beses at sumilip sa nakaawang na pintuan para tingnan kung ano ang nasa loob.

"Ah! Ah! Michael!" mas malakas na hiyaw ng babae.

Nanigas ako sa kinatatayuan ko. Hindi ako makagalaw. Nanlalamig ang buo kong katawan. For a moment, it was as though I couldn't comprehend what was going. It felt like I was experiencing a dream or a nightmare. But it was real. I stood there, listening, as my world turned upside down. 

"Ride on me, Rebecca. I want fast," maawtoridad na utos ni Michael. "Huwag ka titigil hangga't hindi ko sinasabi."

I was numb, my body trembling as tears pricked the corners of my eyes. He didn't even have the decency to do this somewhere else, but instead had picked our home... and our bedroom to screw another woman in...

I almost choked as I began to reach for the doorknob. Had he no shame? No sense of decency? Had he wanted me to find him like this? I didn't know what to think, only that I felt hurt, my heart feeling like it was being ripped to shreds—My throat seized.

Sana ay nananaginip lang ako! Please, gisingin niyo ako! Ayaw ko nito!

"You're so good, Rebecca!" ungol ni Michael at mas lalo namang binilisan ang pangangabayo ng babaeng si Rebecca.

Pero hindi... Hindi iyon panaginip. Totoo ang lahat, may babae ang asawa ko. May perfect husband is having an affair... and cheating behind my back.

Pumikit ako at hinawakan ang doorknob. I opened the door. I saw them both. My husband, and Rebecca... Si Rebecca na sinasabi ni Michael na business partner niya lang. Si Rebecca na itinuring ko na parang isang kaibigan.

Michael body moved up and down while Rebecca head was flung back, a look of ecstasy on her face. I felt only disgust as I watched them. They were so busy screwing each other, they hadn't even noticed the door had opened, let alone that I was standing there.

"Hindi... Ah! Hindi pa ba... uuwi si Lila—Ah! Michael!"

Ngumisi si Much at malakas na hinampas ang pwet ni Rebecca. "May 30 minutes pa."

I found my voice. "I'm... home, love..."

A gasp from Rebecca while my husband frantically moved off of her, pulling the bedsheet over her. He scrambled out of the bed, putting a hand up, his eyes narrowed.

"L-Lila... I was going to talk to you..." he began. 

"About what? Fucking this slut in our home? In our bed, Michael?! God, you make me sick!" I shouted, losing my cool. "What is this? Ano ito? Matagal niyo na itong ginagawa? Matagal niyo na ako niloloko?!"

"I thought mamaya ka pa—"

Marahas akong umiling at pinigilan siya magsalit. "It's our third anniversaries... Tatlong taon, Michael!"

Michael raised his head, his eyes turned glacial. There was a look of contempt on his face, so strong that it made me back away a few steps in shock. "You weren't supposed to be home for another hour," he said, looking annoyed. 

"Who cares?" I shot back. "I caught you, is that all you have to say?" I demanded. "Iyan lang ang sasabihin mo sa akin?!"

He shoved me out of the room and then followed me, shutting the door behind him. I stared at him accusingly, before I reached out and slapped him—hard, leaving a bright red handprint on his cheek. He barely even blinked. Kulang pa ang isang sampal sa ginawa niya ngayon.

"It's not how I intended for you to find out," he said fnally, "but it's for the best... now I don't have to hide the affair anymore."

Affair. My knees wanted to buckle. He'd been having an affair and I'd been oblivious. I'd never felt more stupid in my life. "H-How long?" I rasped and he looked confused. "How long have you been having this affair?" I bit out. 

"It doesn't matter," he snapped.

"It does to me," I said quietly, folding my arms across my chest. "Niloko mo ako! Pinagmuka mo akong tanga! P*****a, Michael, asawa mo ako!"

"Six months," he said reluctantly. 

"A-Ano....?" The air escaped my lungs and I almost collapsed. Six months. He'd been fucking Rebecca behind my back for six whole months. I felt sick. Pakiramdam ko ay ako ang pinakatanga tao ngayon. Mas malala pa kay April.

"Sinubukan ko iwasan at pigilan. Pero, hindi ko kaya. Kakaiba si Rebecca, mas masaya ako sa kanya—"

Isang malakas na sampal ang muling ibinigay ko sa kanya. Ramdam ko ang hapdi sa palad ko, pero mas masakit ang dibdib mo. Hindi ako makapaniwala na magagawa niya akong lokohin nang ganito.

He looked me in the eyes. I couldn't speak. A tear trailed down my cheek. It was all I could do to keep standing. Then, he said words that upended me completely and made me feel like my life was officially over. 

"I want a divorce, Lila. Hindi na ako masaya sa kung anong meron tayo ngayon—I want to be with Rebecca.”