TDR-3

Paikot ikot ako sa paglalakad habang hinihintay ang pagdating ng doctor. Ilang saglit lamang ay bumukas na rin ang pinto at ibinungad nito si Doc. Reagan habang nakangiti sa akin. Sa hindi malamang dahilan ay unti akong kumalma ngunit naroon pa rin sa akin ang pangamba. 

Agad akong lumapit dito ngunit nakangiti lamang nitong inilagay ang kamay sa ibabaw ng balikat ko. 

"How is she, Doc?" I asked while looking at him, worried. 

"I think she'll be fine, Aeris. For now, she needs time to rest," sagot naman nito saka ako inanyayahan sa loob ng kaniyang opisina. Napatingin pa ulit ako sa kwarto na kinaroroonan ni Hale bago sumunod kay Reagan. 

Pagdating namin sa kaniyang opisina ay nakayuko lamang ako habang hinahayaan na tanging ang kaluskos ng paggalaw ni Reagan ang marinig sa paligid. 

Mayamaya pa ay narinig ko na lamang ang mahinang buntong hininga nito saka naglakad papunta sa likuran ko. 

"Don't worry Aeris. When I said she'll be fine, she'll be fine. Trust me," sambit pa nito habang nakalagay ang kamay sa balikat ko. Nakatalikod ako sa kaniya habang nakaupo kaya naman hindi ko makita ang reaksyon niya. 

Napayuko ako at ganoon na lamang ang gulat ko nang bigla itong naglakad at lumuhod sa harapan ko. 

Wala itong salitang binitawan sa akin kaya naman hindi mawala sa isipan ko ang pagtataka. Ito na ang pangalawang beses na nasugod ko dito sa hospital si Hale sa pangangalaga ni Doc Reagan. Ngunit ito ang unang beses na makita ko itong nag alala hindi lamang para sa anak ko kundi para sa akin. 

Ilang saglit lamang ay biglang bumukas ang pinto dahilan upang magulat kaming dalawa. Para akong nakagawa ng kasalanan habang gulat na nakatingin sa nurse na dumating. 

Sino ba naman kasi ang hindi magugulat? Nasa harapan ko lang naman si Doc Reagan at nakaluhod pa sa harapan ko habang magkatinginan kaming dalawa. 

Mamaya ay kung ano pa ang isipin nila sa amin. 

"D-Doc Reagan, Mr. Ricardo is finally awake," balita nito sa kaniya. 

"I see, I'll be there," sagot naman ng kaharap ko habang nakalagay pa rin ang kamay sa gilid ng upuan ko. Kasabay nito ay isinara na rin ng nurse ang pinto. 

Habang ako naman ay nanatiling nakatingin sa pinto, nakikiramdam sa magiging kilos ng kaharap ko nang bigla itong tumayo kasabay ng malalim na pag buntong hininga. 

Walang sali salita itong naglakad palapit sa kaniyang cabinet at may kinuha roon. Nanatili lamang akong nakatingin sa kaniya at humahanap ng tyempo na maglakad na palabas. Tutal ay naibigay na rin niya sa akin ng dosage kanina pagkapasok namin. 

Ngunit bago pa man ako makatayo ay mahina niyang inihagis sa akin ang isang red scarf. 

"Wear it. It's from my mother and it calms me down every time I wear it. I hope it works for you," sambit nito saka bahagyang lumingon sa akin at ngumiti.

Napatingin naman ako sa tela at hindi na namalayan na nakalabas na ito ng pinto. 

Ilang saglit lamang ay naglakad na ako papunta sa kwarto ni Hale at napansin na mahimbing na itong natutulog. I think they still need to do some test later after she woke up kaya naman minabuti ko munang umuwi muna saglit upang kumuha ng gamit namin. Sa kabutihang palad ay nag volunteer naman ang nurse ni Doc Reagan na nakatalaga kay Hale para pansamantalang magtingin sa anak ko habang wala ako. 

Mabilis akong tumakbo papunta sa parking kung saan nakalagay ang kotse saka nagtungo pabalik sa bahay. Dahil sa pagmamadali ko kanina ay hindi ko na nagawa pang makapaghanda ng gamit, which I think is reasonable amidst the situation. 

Nagdala lamang ako ng ilang damit ni Hale habang ako naman ay nag half bath lang at nagpalit na rin ng damit. Pagkatapos ko dito ay dumaan na rin ako sa bilihan ng prutas at bumili ng ilang piraso para kay Hale. Hindi na rin naman ako nagpatumpik tumpik pa at bumalik na rin sa hospital.

Ngunit pagsilip na pagsilip ko sa pinto ay nakita ko kaagad ang isang lalaki na nakaupo sa isang stool habang nakadikit ito sa kama ng anak ko. 

Ganoon na lamang ang gulat ko nang makita kung gaano ito kaalala na animo'y nakatingin sa sariling anak. Nakahawak rin si Doc Reagan sa kamay ni Hale habang nakatingin sa mukha ng bata. Napayuko ako at bahagyang nakasandal sa pader. 

Not again. I can't help but to think the same thing again. What if they are real father and daughter? 

I shrugged my head after getting these thoughts in mind. 

Bago pa man ako mapansin ni Doc Reagan ay nagtungo na lang rin muna ako sa cafeteria malapit sa ibaba. May maliit na cafe kasi doon kung saan laging kumakain ang mga doctors and even the relatives of those patients. Dala ang mga prutas na binili ko kanina ay bumaba ako doon saka inilapag sa mesa. 

Habang naghihintay ay bumili na lang rin ako ng dalawang sandwich. Saka ko lamang naalala na hindi pa pala ako nag breakfast at kahit na umuwi ako ng saglit kanina ay hindi ko na nagawa pang maisip ang bagay na iyon. 

Sa kalagitnaan ng pagkain ko ay nakaramdam ako ng bara ng lalamunan ko. Agad akong nagkapa ng tubig sa bag ko ngunit mukhang maski ang bagay na iyon ay nakalimutan ko na rin. 

Akma na sana akong tatayo para bumili ng sarili kong tubig. Hindi ko na rin kasi matitiis ang sarili dahil para bang bumara ang buong sandwich sa lalamunan ko sa bilis ng subo ko kanina. Ngunit hindi pa man ako nakakalakad palapit dito ay narinig ko na ang boses sa likuran ko.

"Wanna drink?" he asked. 

I looked at him, surprised. Hawak niya ang isang bote ng juice drink which I think ay kagagaling lang rin sa vendo dahil sa moist na nasa labas nito.  

"Here," dagdag pa nito nang mapansin na wala akong isinagot sa kaniya. 

Walang pag aalinlangan ko namang tinanggap ang bote sa kaniya at mabilis na kinuha ang bote sa kaniya. 

"Why don't we talked for a bit while waiting for her to wake up?" tanong niya sa akin saka naglakad papunta sa harapang upuan ko. 

"Y-yes," napilitang sagot ko dito saka dahan dahan nang napaupo. Napatingin ako kay Doc Reagan at napansin ang mahinang paglagiktik ng upuan matapos siyang sumandal sa upuan. 

Mukhang ganoon na lang talaga ang pagod niya sa kabila ng dami ng trabaho niya dito. Mapapansin naman na ito sa bahagyang pag aliwalas ng kaniyang mukha. 

"Oh God," I heard him say in a sexy tone. I looked away as I saw him looking at me. 

"So hmm..." umpisa nito. 

"Yeah..." 

Hindi ko alam kung saan ako mag uumpisa. He didn't even say a word after that. What would I expect! Are we going to talk about...like us? Or I mean, something private? 

I don't think we will talk about Hale anymore cause as far as I know, he already told me everything earlier. Oh geez! 

Don't tell me...

I looked at him in awe. 

"So about Hale..." I heard him say that leaves me surprisingly not surprised. 

Oh shit. Am I a bad mother? What would I expect anyway?! He's a doctor for Pete's sake! 

He's not like my suitor?!

I cleared my mind from everything and looked at him, trying to focus on what he was about to say. 

"I saw her past records from different hospitals. I reviewed it again and I noticed that your medication is not stable. Maybe because you change hospitals too often before. You met different doctors that give different medication for your daughter," he said while looking at me. 

"Yeah...that is the time when I was still looking for my stable job," I answered him, looking down at the floor. 

"Yeah, I understand. But I hope you won't leave here anytime until she finally recovers," sagot naman nito. 

Agad akong napatingin sa kaniya but he's just looking at the juice bottle that he's holding. 

"I want to help Hale, that's for sure. And I don't want her to go to any doctors yet. I want to take care of her until the best I can...like a real daughter," mahinang sambit nito na animo'y walang balak na iparinig sa akin. 

Ngunit dahil dalawa lang naman kami sa area namin ay hindi imposibleng marinig ko ito maging ang mahinang buntong hininga niya. 

Hindi ko maiwasang magulat sa reaksyon niyang iyon. 

"But don't worry, I'll tell you if I'm not enough to take care of her. Will you trust me for Hale?" he asked me while looking at me, smiling. 

Nakaramdam agad ako ng kakaiba sa dibdib ko. As far as I know, I shouldn't feel this way. I know, he's just concerned about Hale. But there's a part of me that keeps telling me- there's something more than taking care of my daughter. It's something that I haven't felt for almost a decade. 

I unconsciously smiled at him. 

"I trust you, Doc. Reagan," I answered. 

"Thank you," sagot nito, makikita ang tuwa sa mga mata. 

I have never felt like this for anyone for so long. I know, I've been restricting myself too much. I've been closing all the doors to my heart so that no one will fall in love with me and that no one will hurt me. 

But this guy,

In just a single sentence, he took my heart. Just seeing him concerned about my daughter is enough to make me fall in love. 

I don't know if this is just an admiration just because I want my daughter to have a new father. Or because I really like him even in the first place and am just afraid to say so. 

I closed my eyes and was about to say something when I heard him sigh. 

"You know why I wanted to take care of Hale?" he asked me, having this sad and gloomy tone in his voice. 

Agad akong napatingin sa kaniya. He looks sad with a bitter smile.  I waited for him to talk again. 

"Because I can't save my own child," I heard him say. 

"That's why I want to save at least your child," he said. 

Para bang nablangko ang isipan ko nang marinig ang bagay na iyon. Napatingin ako sa kaniya at may parte sa akin na nakaramdam ng kakaibang kaba. 

He slowly looked at me, wearing his "all for nothing but a fake smiling" face. 

"Yes, I once had a wife and a son. And I really love them...so much! I can't see myself loving any woman aside from her. I can't see myself taking care of any child aside from mine."  

Then that's the time I felt my heart break into pieces. 

What a shame. 

I didn't know he was married already. 

He reluctantly showed his pure and vulnerable emotion and still refrained himself from crying. 

"I thought it would always be that happy...and that's the moment I realized, I was too late to save them both," he said. 

I looked at him when I heard about it. That is the moment he revealed that his wife died because of an incident while his son was still missing right now. I can't help but feel sorry for him. 

I even felt guilty when I realized how inconsiderate I am, thinking about this feeling of mine, not knowing how painful his experience was. 

Without any words between us, he stood up after that. Breaking the silence, he took me to Hale's room. I think she's awake too by this time.

Habang naglalakad ay hindi ko maiwasang mapaisip sa mga bagay na sinabi sa akin ni Doc Reagan. Am I allowed to know things like that about it? But despite all that, it looks like he's telling me indirectly, not to fall in love with him because he only loves his dead wife. 

I let go of this thought as we went inside the room. I mustn't ruin Hale's mood as I saw her smiling at us. 

"Doc Reagan!! Mommy!" She called us. 

Nauna na akong naglakad palapit sa kaniya at hinawakan ang kamay niya. 

"Baby Halee, how are you anak? Ayos na ba ang pakiramdam mo?" tanong ko dito habang pinupunasan ang namumuong pawis sa kaniyang noo. 

"I'm okay na, Mommy, all thanks to Doc. Reagan!" sagot naman nito sa akin. 

I smiled.

"It's my pleasure to hear that, Princess Hale," rinig kong sagot naman ni Doc. Reagan. 

 Ilang saglit lamang ay narinig ko ang yabag ng paa ni Doc Reagan sa likuran ko kaya bahagya akong gumilid at lumipat sa kabila. 

I just felt like I needed to do that, for no reason at all. 

"Mommy! Mommy!" biglang tawag sa akin ni Hale saka hinawakan ang kamay ko. 

"Yes baby?"

"I have something to tell you Mom," biglang saad nito habang palitan ang tingin sa pagitan namin ni Doc. Reagan. 

"I heard Doc. Reagan earlier while I'm sleeping," 

Napakunot noo ako at nakipagpalitan ng naguguluhan na tingin kay Doc. 

"What is it, baby?"

"I heard him propose to me, Mommy!" sagot pa nito. 

Huh? Gulat akong napatingin dito. I know how much she loves Doc Reagan. I even heard her say one time that she will marry him when she grows up, which is very impossible.  

But I didn't expect her to say this in front of Doc Reagan! 

"Hale...what are you talking about," sambit ko dito at pasimple pa siyang pinaglakihan ng mata. Just warning her, obviously. 

"Mom...I already told you before, right? I love Doc. Reagan, and I'm willing to be his wife he wants me to be!" she proudly said. 

I heard Doc Reagan chuckle. I know he took it as a joke, but what is she even thinking?! I told her not to joke around with people, especially about those things. 

"Hale... how many tim-"

I was about to scold her when she suddenly turned gloomy and looked down. 

"But I know it's impossible...I was still young...while he almost doubled my age? Or no! He's  two decades older than me!" she said, sadly. 

I was caught on guard when she suddenly looked at me using her determined eyes. 

"But still!" she shouted, more like happily, I think?

"Yes!" I immediately answered. 

"I want to be by his side...always! Even before I sleep and after I wake up! I love him, Mom. And I want him to marry you!” she suddenly uttered that caught us both on guard. 

Napatingin ako kay Doc Reagan at katulad ko ay mukhang nagulat rin ito sa suhestiyon ng bata. Ganoon na lamang ang pagkahiya ko dito at mabilis na nag iwas ng tingin habang pinamumahan ng mukha. 

I can feel my heart beating fast. Nakaramdam ako ng kaunting tuwa. At least Hale knows how to choose her own father. 

But still, I think it's impossible. Knowing how crazy he was to his ex-wife. Can he still love another woman? Or at least looked at me like how he did before to his wife?

I doubt it.  

Besides, nothing that matters anymore, I think. He's not up to it. And I doubt if I can make him fall in love with me. 

I looked at them but instead of seeing him embarrassed or something like that, I saw him smiling and joking around Hale. I can't hear what they're talking about anymore. 

All I hear and see is that they're both laughing. 

Or maybe... there's a chance? 

Am I up to this kind of challenge? Can I really make Doctor Reagan mine? Or will it just end up to another heartbreak?