Chapter Eight

“Do you believe in the ghost on the acad building rooftop?” Sane asked Haniel without really thinking.

The girl, who was walking beside him, stared at him for a few seconds with her mouth open. There was a hint of amusement and confusion in her face before she stifled a laugh. “Now, is that question for real? Are you seriously asking me that?” she asked, still grinning.

Sane pouted, forehead creased. "Don't you mock me."

"I am not mocking you, sure, I ain't," she said, climbing up to a low wall before picking red leaves off the low branches from the trees nearby. She walked cautiously, both arms stretched sideways to maintain balance, and picked more leaves as she passed by branches and branches.

The Quarry Street screamed peace just like that usual. If not for the loud group of freshmen who were chatting behind them, it would have been as silent as a ghost, although not in a creepy manner.

The street was narrower than the busy Grove Street, of course. The pile of dry leaves coating the asphalt crunched louder the more they stepped, and more leaves fell off the trees as they passed by.

It was finally autumn, a beautiful tragedy. It was almost winter, and winter for Sane was the time where he would be reminded of his and his family’s past, and all of the tragedies that happened in his life.

He wasn’t looking forward to that.

"Are you referring to the dead girl?" asked Haniel. "Hmm. If she were really dead and carries the wrath with her, why hadn’t the janitors experienced misfortune? How about the guards?"

That was also one of the things that had been going around Sane’s mind, especially when the idea made sense.

The night when he almost jumped off the rooftop, the janitor was the one who woke him up. Janitors and guards often went to the rooftop as it is also included in their rounds to see whether someone was in there, violating the rules. If a ghost was really there, then they would have seen the ghost themselves as well.

But Sane remembered how eager the janitor was for him to leave the rooftop. Maybe because he didn't want him to be in trouble, but the more he thought about it, the more he came to think about the possibility.

Sane didn't want to believe, of course, but everything he had been experiencing, it could hardly be just coincidence, right? He had been experiencing too many misfortunes since that incident on the rooftop. He hadn’t even seen his lost wallet yet, and he had nowhere to even find it in the first place. 

He wanted to think it was only coincidental, but the thought of the possible still lingered in the crevices of his mind.

"It is preposterous, really preposterous. Besides, if someone really did jump to the rail tracks or someone really jumped off the building, we’d know about it, right? I mean not in this way, at the very least. There really isn’t enough evidence to support their statements. I don't want to speak ill about Danna, may her soul rest in peace, but it could really be coincidence, you know, only coincidence.

"Bad luck is made up of the human mind and as it builds more and more, the more it controls you. The more you think you'll fail an exam, the more likely you really will. If only they knew how puissant our brains are. We don't even love with our heart, we love with our brain. Our heart is no more than an organ that pumps blood. All the emotions we feel, we all store it in our brains. Everything is controlled with the brain, with the mind."

Sane nodded to agree. "That is why when we look at the dark and claim we see ghosts, it might just be the product of the human mind, right? Our brain manipulates images through fear."

The girl jumped off the wall in front of him before grinning. She tiptoed before messing up with his hair. "Funny how you know such things and still get scared of the supernatural."

Sane pouted. "Knowledge can't stop fear, Haniel, at least not every time. Like we are all aware, the longer the days we spend alive, the closer we are to our graves, but that awareness and knowledge still don't stop other people from fearing death." Sane peered his head to look at the houses of Nikolaj’s and Edmund’s as they passed by them. "And we can never be humans without a sprinkle of fear. Courage is nothing without fear."

"Life will never be the same without 'if', the 'IFs'. What if I die at this very moment? What if I'll never become the person I want to be? What if I'll drown? Thus, fear. The E in Sane stands for Exactly. You are exactly right, Sane. Fear is part of living. Thus, I can never judge you based on your fear. I can only tease you." She grinned before pinching his cheek.

She skipped happily, making Sane jog in order to keep up with her. The day was going on fine and he was feeling a lot better, better in a way that he’d got to have a conversation about a thing that had been bothering him for almost a month now.

Haniel really knew what to say.

Sane raised his eyebrows upon seeing that the girl had stopped in her tracks as she had her eyes fixed towards her left. Sane pacened up, stopping beside her, before looking at the direction that she was looking at.

He immediately gasped, out of breath upon seeing what she was also seeing. In an instant, he felt the beating of his heart against his chest, and could almost hear it ringing inside his eyes. His friend probably had noticed his disconcert when she looked at him so she touched his arm to caress it.

It was a burnt house. Not just an ordinary burnt house. It was the remains of the house that was in the legend, the house of the dead girl.

Sane forced himself not to think about the pair of black eyes that were staring at him, but the more he avoided, the more he thought. The more it creeped into his mind. He felt all of the hair in his body standing as every drop of sweat rolled down his skin.

He could feel the burying gaze of Haniel but he couldn't divert his gaze to anything but the house.

When the house caught fire, Sane was also at the lowest of his life so he didn’t really know much about what really happened, nor did he really care about it that time. He didn’t know whether the dead girl really lived there or if it was just made-up nonsense by the same people to provoke fear.

He could feel himself shaking as he could see those pair of eyes vividly in his mind, and they were staring at him, scrutinizing. Sane didn’t like how it made him feel. He didn’t like feeling as if someone who he didn’t know was staring at him as if wanting to tell something he couldn’t grasp. 

He could hear the soft singing once again as if it was really close in his ears. He could hear his name being called by that voice. He could feel the coldness of the voice and the prickling sensation.

That was fear. And it messed up with him big time knowing that he feared the unknown.

He felt Haniel pulling his arm, pulling him away from there. 

He still wasn’t in his right mind as he trailed behind Haniel who was still grabbing his arm. He was restless as a lot of things were running in his mind. He couldn’t really grasp the things that were on his mind. He was just staring at the void, and if Haniel didn’t kick his feet, he wouldn’t even realize that he was already spacing out.

He shook his head before his gaze dropped at the girl who was already staring intently at him.

He breathed deeply before giving her a small smile. He tried to act normal, as if he never felt anything, as if it was nothing.

"Acad Hub rooftop, 11 P.M.. Ring this bell four times at the door before entering," she said as she took out a small bell from her bag before handing it to him.

Sane’s forehead creased with confusion as he stared at the bell that was now resting on his palm. '"W-What do you mean?"

"The questions just don't get answered all by themselves. You need to seek." That was the only thing that she said before running back towards Quarry Street. 

That made Sane even more confused, scratching his head. “Where are you going?” he shouted. 

"I still have a class, and I’m already late. I just walked with you because it looks like something's bothering you. Go on without me. But, remember what I said!" Even when he was still confused, Sane was left with no choice but to wave goodbye before slowly letting out a smile. 

-

Ride was evidently getting better, but the feeling of nervousness in Sane’s chest still hadn’t gone away.

He knew, himself, how easy it was to pretend as if you were happy, as if everything was going on well. It was easy to hide it like that, to hide it with a smile and with silly jokes. To hide it with courage.

Then it’d attack whenever you were alone.

He wanted to watch over him, and tell him over and over again that everything would be alright, but he also knew himself how those words meant nothing, especially when there was no certainty. 

He remembered his dad.

When he thought about Ride, he always remembered his dad.

He remembered those times when everything was still going on well. They’d even go to Liverpool Square to watch their dad perform. He could also remember how often they would visit the Music Emporium to buy tapes and disks.

At home, they would dance and sing as if they had nothing else to think about.

That was the life Sane wanted.

But everything changed, of course.

There was a slight pang in the chest upon reminiscing everything. That was why he didn’t like thinking about the past that was already long gone. It was painful to think how those moments passed in a blink of an eye just because of the mistakes that their father did. He shook his head, trying to shrug the thoughts away.

He tapped the bell that was inside his pockets before letting out a sigh. He still had no idea what Haniel meant by what she said, and if they would really meet up on the academic building’s rooftop. Of all places, she chose to meet up there. 

He forced himself not to think about bad things while he slowly went down the stairs. He went out of the house carefully, closing the door in a gentle manner. It was already 11 in the evening, and Sane knew that he could just go to Haniel's house as it was near his, but he knew that she’d only have a harder time sneaking out if he were there.

"Where are you going?" Sane almost jumped out of sudden panic and shock upon hearing that. When he turned, he saw his brother, who was sitting on the front porch, watching him intently.

Sane breathed deeply before clearing his throat. "Why are you still awake? You have classes tomorrow."

Ride looked away. "I’ll be going inside later. I’m just here to feel the breeze,” he said softly. Sane stopped himself from sighing.

He walked towards his brother before ruffling his hair.  "I'll be out just for a little while. You should sleep, okay? Don't forget to pray," he said. Ride smiled before nodding.

Sane wanted to say a lot of things more, but he only found himself walking towards the gate, carefully swinging it open and close again. He wanted to tell him he was doing his very best and that he understood what Ride was feeling, that he had already felt the same thing, and had found himself in a similar situation. noon. But he could only look back before silently waving.

Ride waved back too.

And with that, Sane traced the way to the university with a heavy heart.

He could feel the bell in his pocket as he stepped. It was also as if he could feel the weight of it. He still didn’t know the significance of the small thing towards his soon conversation with Haniel.

He had a lot of questions in mind but he could only keep them to himself as of the moment.

The Quarry Street was still very alive, considering the deepness of the night. There were a lot of foreigners strolling in the night, looking for some fun. The good thing about Penny Lane was that there was fun almost everywhere, that was why visitors from all around the country, and sometimes even from other countries would visit there. 

The breeze was cold against clothed skin and Sane could only hug himself as he passed by the crowd of people.

It took him a few minutes before reaching the university.

In order to get inside the university at night, you needed to present an identification card, but since his identification card was inside his lost wallet, he was left with no choice but to climb on a tree in order to reach the walls.

It was against the rules and he could be filed an anecdotal report if someone saw him sneaking in. However, there was something with the way Haniel spoke that made him feel utterly curious. He wanted to know what she meant by what she said, and why they had to meet at that time and at that location.

He could feel the feeling of anxiety on his chest as he carefully walked the more secluded way towards the academic building. It wasn’t his first time sneaking in, that was why was aware of the time when the guards would do their rounds. Hopefully, he wouldn’t bump into a janitor or else he’d get himself into trouble. 

He felt the bell through his pocket as he stared at the door of the rooftop.

Sane believed that a lot of things happened since he was in there, and since he saw that pair of eyes. It was the biggest mistake he was trying to forget.

Facing the rooftop was like facing and reminiscing about that mistake. The heavens knew how Sane didn't like reminiscing bad occurrences.

He breathed deeply before muttering a short prayer..

He could feel the back of his neck sweating and the fast thudding of his heart against his chest.

He was nervous and a little bit scared.

He remembered what Haniel told him.

Your brain manipulates what you see through your fear, Sane. Don't be afraid.

He knew that the girl would only tease him once she’d find out that he was afraid of something that wasn’t even proven to be true.

It was too late to back out. The best thing he could do is to get the bell and ring it as Haniel said.

He breathed harder before taking the bell out.

He rang it four times, the sound of the bell echoing throughout the walls. He felt the beating of his heart even harder after he did that, and he could only stare at the knob on the door. 

He shut his eyes tightly.

He gently turned the knob before slowly opening the door. "L-Lady?" he gently called but no one responded.

He wanted to turn back at that moment. He thought that maybe Haniel was only playing with him, and she just wanted to tease him that was why she said that. But there was the bigger part of him that asked him to stay. He knew Haniel wouldn't do such a thing, even when she’d often tease him. She wasn’t that kind of person.

The girl worked in strange ways and when she said he should come, he really should come. That was how things worked with her.

After a few minutes of contemplation, he finally stepped foot on the rooftop before scanning the place using his eyes. He was able to breathe in relief after seeing how peaceful the place was, and that there were no signs of any ghosts.

His heart was still thumping hard, but he acted as if it was nothing. He pushed back the bell inside his pocket before sitting on the hard floor.

He hummed softly, distracting himself from thinking of things he shouldn't be thinking. He also avoided looking at the railings, on the spot where he almost jumped off. 

He kept telling himself it only happened in the past and what matters was the present. He swore that he’d never make the same mistake ever again.

Breathing deeply, Sane tried to calm himself.

He wondered what time it was, and why Haniel wasn’t there yet when she was the one who told him to meet up. Did she perhaps forget about it? Did she have trouble sneaking out of her house? He started doubting but he kept telling himself to wait for another ten minutes.

So, he waited.

Ten minutes had passed but there still wasn't a sign of any Haniel.

That was when he started feeling a different kind of nervousness, but once again, he told himself to wait for another ten minutes, and another, and another, until it finally occurred to him she wouldn't be coming.

Whatever the reason was, he would know tomorrow. The only thing that was in his mind at that very moment was going out of that place. He wanted peace of mind, and the more he stayed there, the heavier his chest became. It was almost unbearable. It was as if the atmosphere was heavier and heavier and he didn't like it.

He stood before quickly running towards the doorway, but he stopped on his tracks when the bell fell out of his pocket, giving out an unsatisfactory sound as it hit the floor.

In his mind, he was debating whether to return to retrieve the bell or to run away from there. 

He could hear it rolling. The sound came from behind him. 

He could just easily pick it up before dashing out of the building. He knew he couldn't leave it behind. It might be important for Haniel, and she gave it to him for him to take care of it. He shouldn't just leave it just because he was scared.

But he was scared, terribly scared.

The feeling of fear worsened when he heard the bell roll against the floor. He could swear he heard it being picked up and he almost fainted when he heard it ring. Four times.

He was shaking terribly. He wanted to run away from there, and never look back, but he was frozen on his spot. He was scared something bad would happen if he ran away. Maybe, he'd fall down the stairs and break his neck or maybe he was just terribly scared to even move a finger.

He didn’t hear any footsteps, just the sound of the small bell. He dropped his gaze towards the floor of the rooftop, and immediately felt terrified upon seeing a pair of feet walking towards his direction. They stopped there. In front of him.

The bell rang again. Four times.

Sane was sweating and shaking so much. He could hear the loud beating of his heart that he felt like passing out any moment.

He remained looking down as he whispered fast prayers.

I believe in God, the Father Almighty, Creator of Heaven and Earth—

"Is this wallet yours?"

The voice was clean and cold. He immediately felt his hairs standing up upon hearing that. It was the voice of a girl.

'The dead girl,' he thought. 'She's real and I'm doomed.'

She stretched out a familiar wallet with her porcelain hands.

His eyes widened when he saw that what she was holding was really his wallet. He wanted to reach out for it, but he just remained there with his eyes still widely opened.

“Is this your wallet?” she asked once again.

At that moment, Sane thought if ghosts really communicated that way. Didn’t they communicate through Ouija boards or some sort? And of all things that she’d tell him, why would she talk about his missing wallet that she was already holding?

If it were, "You'll die, Sane, bwahahahahahaha!", it would've been more reasonable. And her voice should be deep like hell, right? Just like in films and plays?

Perhaps. . .

He slowly lifted his head, and he felt as if someone threw a bucket of cold water when their eyes met. 

Black. Something familiar.

"Sane—?"

Doomed.

And because it was too much for Sane to handle, he passed out, the last sight that he saw was her pair of black eyes. Again.

-