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Denying the Reality
Last Updated:
2022-07-11 20:19:58
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Ruins of a Sinner They Both Know
I LEAN comfortably on my leather sofa seat on the right most corner of the vintage cafe as I munched on my red velvet cake. My eyes never left Zach who was now sitting, three tables away from me, with three gentlemen in semi-formal attires. I was enjoying myself as I witnessed how professional he is in dealing with his client. A smile would immediately spread on my lips when his gaze will turn to me and then he will cock his eyebrows at me as if checking if I'm alright.Actually, kanina pa hindi nawawala ang ngiti sa mga labi ko. Yesterday, the whole Saturday was about Zach and I enjoying ourselves inside our villa. Then, I woke up from Zach's kisses and ticklish caresses. He made me breakfast in bed and we took bath together. Sunod no'n, inaya niya akong ikutin ang buong resort and I really did a good time- because this is the first time in the span of our almost one year of relationship that we actually acted like real couples. We hold hands in public, he made me laughed with his no
Last Updated : 2022-07-12Ruins of a Sinner Their Wrong Little Bubble
NANLALAKI ang mga mata ko nang marating namin ni Zach ang dulong bahagi ng beach ng resort na 'to. Hindi katulad sa may bukanang bahagi ng beach, 'yung malapit sa mga villas, walang katao-tao ang bahaging ito. The bed of white sand and the sound of crashing waves were the things that greeted the both of us. No noise. No polluted air. And no trace of trash or plastic. Parang nasa ibang lugar kami bigla kahit na ang totoo ay nasa kabilang bahagi lang kami ng beach. My eyes scanned the whole place and my smile stretched on my lips when I noticed the magnificent rock formation on the most right end of the place. Pero mas lumawak ang ngiti ko nang mapansin ko ang tila isang malaking cottage na nakaset-up sa gitna ng buhangin, gamit ang puting kumot at kawayan. Nanlalaki ang mga mata ko nang mapansin ko ang isang pathway na patungo sa cottage na 'yon gamit ang mga nagkalat na piraso ng petals ng rosas. I sighed dreamily as I noticed a set of table for two on the side of the cottage. Mala
Last Updated : 2022-07-12Ruins of a Sinner The Rose She Cherished
One year ago...I groaned when my cellphone's loud alarm woke me up from my deep slumber. Just shut the fuck up!Kinapa-kapa ko ang ilalim ng unan ko kung saan ko inilalagay ang aking cellphone bago matulog. Nakakunot ang noo kong pinatay ang alarm at papikit-pikit pang tiningnan ang screen ng cellphone ko para tingnan ng oras. My eyes widened when I saw the time- it was just seven in the morning.Pabalyang ibinaba ko ang cellphone sa kama bago napatingin sa kisame ng silid ko para isipin kung Sabado nga ba ngayon. Yeah. Wala akong pasok ngayon. So, why the heck did I alarm this early?My mind wandered about yesterday, trying so hard to think why did I need to wake up this early for a Saturday?Kaagad akong napabalikwas nang pagkakabangon nang maalala ko ang dahilan ng alarm na 'yon. My eyes darted back to my cellphone when it started ringing. I bit my bottom lip before I slowly get my phone. Cora is calling. Shit."Cora, Sissy!"A loud grunt was heard from the other line before Cora
Last Updated : 2022-07-13Ruins of a Sinner What She Needs
ZACH kissed me slowly but deeply after he made me sit on top of the island counter. He was standing in between my widened legs, wearing nothing but an apron and a boxer shorts. Tanging suot ko lang naman ay t-shirt niya. Tinanghali kaming dalawa ng gising dahil na rin buong magdamag kaming walang sawang nagpakasasa sa katawan ng isa't isa. Today is Monday and we decided to extend our vacation for another day. Mamayang gabi pa namin balak umuwi at naisipang sulitin ang isa pang araw na kaming dalawa lang ang magkasama. Hindi ako tumanggi sa suggestion ni Zach kahit na ba medyo loaded ng activities ang linggo kong 'to. I don't know when will be the next time that we will have the same luxury of time to enjoy such alone moments together. Susulitin ko na. I wrapped my legs around Zach's waist and both of my hands started caressing his strong and defined biceps. Kahit matanda na si Zach, hindi niya napabayaan ang hulma ng katawan. To be honest, no one will think he's thirty-seven. He lo
Last Updated : 2022-07-14Ruins of a Sinner Two Distinct Ways to Answer 'I Love You'
I heard him chuckled before a soft caress was felt on my arms. Nanatili ako sa posisyon na 'yon habang nagpatuloy si Zach sa pagluluto. My hands settled on his abdomen and I could feel his hard abs against the fabric of the apron he's wearing."Hmnn... I'm not on the menu, Baby."Unti-unti akong bumalik sa mood at nawala na ang isip ko tungkol sa pamilya ko. Sinakyan ko ang sinabi ni Zach. My right hand playfully slid under the apron and touch his skin. He gasped and because of that he's abs contract. "Your hand is so warm against my skin, Ava."Sinimulan kong halikan ang hubad na likuran ni Zach habang ang kamay ko ay bumababa sa gitna ng boxer shorts niya. His body became rigid when my hand touched his length outside his shorts. "So huge as always, Daddy."Ang isa kong kamay ay humahaplos sa malaki niyang braso habang patuloy ang paghalik ko sa likod niya. His breathing became ragged when my hand made its way inside his boxers. Nang mahanap ng kamay ko ang pagkalalaki niya, kusang n
Last Updated : 2022-07-15Ruins of a Sinner Pain
I HAD the best Tuesday morning ever. After spending my weekend and my Monday with Zach, it felt like I was refreshed. Maganda ang naging gising ko at sa totoo lang, hindi na mapigtal ang ngiti ko. I am just so happy that I had that mini-vacation with Zach. That's what I need to relieve myself from stress and doubts about my relationship with Zach. He assured me— good enough to hold on. Tanga. I said that to myself right after Zach left me earlier, in the middle of the dawn, to go back to Joven. He left me again but still I was happy— because we sneaked out. The satisfaction that I had Zach behind Joven's back was greater than the fact that Zach had to come back to her. Right now, it's either my rationale wasn't working anymore or I was simply head-over-heels to Zach that I let him have his way. Oo. May mga tangang babae sa pag-ibig at isa ako ro'n. Zach was like an addiction— cigarette, alcohol or drugs— the more I try to stop it, the more I crave for it. Alam kong mali. Alam
Last Updated : 2022-07-15Ruins of a Sinner Regrets are for Sad People
Walang lingon akong umalis ng cafeteria. Mabilis ang bawat hakbang ko habang nakayuko upang walang makakita ng mga luhang kusang tumulo nang makalabas na ako ng cafeteria.I don't know where I am going but I know I have to get away as far as I can. I need a place where no one knows me to see me cry.Totoo talaga 'yung sinasabi nila. Pagkatapos ng saya— matinding sakit at kalungkutan. Wala pa man ang kasal nila Zach, ganito na kaagad ang sakit na nararamdaman ko— paano ko kakayanin na dumalo at saksihan ang mismong kasal?I roughly brushed away the tears from my cheeks as I keep on walking. I was begging my own feet to bring me somewhere no one knows who I am. Somewhere I can cry. Somewhere I can show the real me — a wounded warrior of love.Hindi ko alam kung saan ako patungo hanggang sa bumangga ako sa kung sino. I was about to fall but strong set of hands held my arms to steady my body. I had to immediately cover my face when I heard his voice."Ava?"It was Rupert."A-ano... Nagmam
Last Updated : 2022-07-17Ruins of a Sinner Life is about consequences
IT'S VERY hard for me to share my problems and then burden other people about it. Let's just say, I prefer to listen and give advices. I prefer to comfort people from their sorrow; instead of being the weak and emotional one.People around me thought I was always strong. Things in my life were always alright. I was never bothered about anything and my plans were always going according to my biddings.Those were lies. A facade I created to look perfect— to look nice and ideal. Sa ilalim ng magandang maskarang sinusuot ko sa araw-araw ay ang magulong buhay; nakakadiring pagkatao; at basag na emosyonal na estado.Ava Peony Lazarte was hungry for admiration and dominance— that's the real me. I need people to adore me, to see me as an epitome of perfection, to always excel and to be the best among the rest. And yet when I fell in love— I love too hard and deep. Then the next moment I would find myself, submitting and giving my all even if it meant consuming all of me for the person I love.
Last Updated : 2022-07-18
Latest chapter
Ruins of a Sinner Special Chapter 10: Revelation
(After Ava's burial)CORA'S POV***Ilang segundo rin akong nakatayo sa gitna ng dating kwarto ni Ava. Nandoon pa rin ang mga gamit niya. I guess, hindi pa pumupunta ang kahit sino sa pamilya niya para ayusin ang mga naiwan niyang gamit dito.I was frozen on my place with hands clenched on both of my sides. My tears blurred my vision as I roamed my gaze around the room. It's been three days since she was buried... And it's been three days that I hated my father to death."I'm sorry na hindi kita nailigtas, Ava," I murmured as my heart ached for my fallen friend. "I should've listened to my guts."Pagsisisi.At matinding galit.Iyon ang nararamdaman ko ngayon.One year ago, I got a hunch that something is different from the way my father is looking at my best friend. Pero dineadma ko iyon, thinking that he is seeing him like his daughter because she's one of my closest friends. Kaya gano'n siya mag-alaga at mag-alala para sa kaibigan ko dahil para niya na ring anak iyon. Five months ag
Ruins of a Sinner Special Chapter 9: In Another Universe III
AVA'S***Kaagad na dumiretso ang aking likod nang sa wakas ay nakita ko na rin si Mama pagkatapos ng ilang oras na pag-aabang ko sa labas ng silid niya rito sa ospital. As much as my heart was yearning to hug her and to say sorry to her, I stopped myself from doing so.Nakuntento ako sa kinalalagyan ko at tinanaw lang siya habang nasa likod niya si Papa na siyang tumutulak sa wheelchair na kaniyang kinauupuan. Kasabay ng matinding kirot dahil gustong-gusto kong yakapin si Mama ay ang matinding hiya ko at pandidiri sa sarili ko.Masasaktan lang si Mama kapag nakita niya ulit ako. Wala na akong ibang ginawa para sa kaniya kung hindi ang saktan siya. That's the reason why I can't go to her.Ilang minuto kong pinanood ang mga magulang ko bago ko napagdesisyunang umalis na. I wiped the tears in my eyes before I walked away. Mula sa ospital, dumiretso ako sa sementeryo kung nasaan ang musileyo ni Gavin.I clasped both of my hands as I enter. Nang makita ko ang ultrasound picture ng pamangk
Ruins of a Sinner Special Chapter 8: In Another Universe II
AVA'S POV***Ilang beses akong napabuntong hininga habang mahigpit ang pagkakahawak ng aking mga kamay sa aking mga tuhod. Halos malamig ang butil ng pawis na tumutulo sa gilid ng aking noo at sobrang nanliliit ako sa aking pwesto.Bago ako pumunta rito, pinag-isipan kong mabuti ang mga sasabihin ko. Buong magdamag kong inisip kung ano ang dapat kong gawin kapag nasa harapan na ako ni Ate Agatha.But I found myself tongue-tied and feeling nauseous, now that I am actually in the situation. This is suffocating... Being in front of her... and the man who introduced to me the wrong concept of love— Nick.“What now? Nagkalakas ka na ng loob na harapin ako? After making the same mistake again, Ava?” She snorted before she harshly tapped the table between us. “Ava, hindi ka ba nahiya? You became the mistress of your best friend's father! Hindi ka na naawa sa mga magulang natin sa mga kahihiyang dinadala mo sa pamilya natin.I heard the anger and shame on my sister's voice. Hindi ko rin kina
Ruins of a Sinner Special Chapter 7: In Another Universe
AVA'S POV [NOW... JOVEN'S AND ZACH'S WEDDING: THE SUICIDE DID NOT HAPPEN] *** It was suicide. I intended to die and leave this world. I was a coward and I don't have the courage to face all my mistakes. Sigurado na ako na iyon ang gagawin ko. Sobrang sakit na ng lahat at wala na akong nakikitang paraan para itama ang mga pagkakamali ko. But now that I am standing in front of the church, in front of the big crucifix in the middle of the altar, watching my man to exchange vows with another woman...then, all my plans changed in an instant.Death turned out to be scarier than what I expected it to be. It is something not easy to decide no matter how miserable someone's life is. Humigpit ang pagkakahawak ko sa panyo sa kamay ko habang unti-unting nanlabo ang mga mata ko dahil sa mga luhang nagbabadyang tumulo. Then and there, I saw it. Nag-flash ang lahat ng posibleng mangyari sa akin kung magpapakamatay ako ngayon dahil lang nasasaktan ako. I shook my head as my body started to tre
Ruins of a Sinner Special Chapter 6: Torture
ZACH'S P.O.V. *** "Cora, let's talk!" "I DON'T WANT TO TALK! NOT TO YOU! I HATE YOU!" Napahilamos ako sa aking mukha nang lagpasan niya ako. I didn't know where she came from but having her furious reaction towards me, I know for a fact that she's probably with Joven— and I know Joven told her. "Cora! I'm still your father!" Sinundan ko siya at kaagad na hinablot ang kaniyang braso para pigilan. Pero kaagad niyang iwinaksi ang kamay ko. Then she looked at me with so much disgust and hate. Para akong pinagsakluban ng langit at lupa sa pandidiri sa mukha ng sarili kong anak. The shame and conscience took a toll on me and I found myself taking a step back from Cora. No. I don't want my daughter to hate me. This is so fucked up. "Totoo ba? Totoo bang si Ava... ginawa mong k-kabit ang kaibigan ko?" Cora was crying. Her tears falling from her eyes like an endless river. Her eyes were begging me to say 'no'. Kita ko ang sakit sa mga tingin niya sa akin. The fact that she's still gi
Ruins of a Sinner Special Chapter 5: Triumph
JOVEN'S P.O.V.***"Hey, Joven. It's nice to see you again."I stared at the man who broke my heart into pieces while I was wearing a veil and a white wedding gown.I didn't bother to put up a smile. Walang emosyon ang tinging ibinigay ko sa kaniya. "You know I'm not happy to see you again, Zach. This is painful," I honestly said before avoiding his gaze.Napadako ang tingin ko sa tasa ng kape na nasa harapan ko. I couldn't believe I agree to meet him today.He said he has to say something so important— kahit nagdadalawang-isip, pumayag akong makipagkita sa kaniya sa Wednesday Cafe. The place was cozy and has a beautiful ambiance but I couldn't enjoy it specially that my heart was broken and the man who did it was sitting across me."I know. I'm really sorry, Joven.""Sorry would never make up for what you did to me and to my child." Napahawak ako sa aking tyan at marahang hinaplos iyon.Narinig ko ang buntong hininga ni Zach bago niya muling sinabi, "I'm really sorry."I had a tragi
Ruins of a Sinner Special Chapter 4: Lie
NICK'S P.O.V. *** "Ma, Pa, this is Nick— boyfriend ko po," I bowed my head in front of my girlfriend's parents. I readied the gentle smile when my gaze met the eyes of Agatha's father. Gaya ng inaasahan, masama ang tingin na ipinupukol sa akin ni Mr. Lazarte pero ayos lang 'yon. Alam kong kapag nakilala niya na ako, gagaan din ang pakikitungo niya sa akin. Kabaligtaran ni Mr. Lazarte, mas magaan ang naging pagtanggap sa akin ng nanay ni Agatha— sabi niya tawagin ko na lang daw siyang Tita Lucia. Well, Agatha decided to finally introduce me to her parents after three months of dating. Hindi naman ako tumanggi dahil mahal ko siya. Yes. After years of being a notorious playboy, someone came to finally take my heart and own me— body and soul. Masyado pang maaga para sa iba upang malaman kung para sa iyo ba ang isang tao sa loob ng tatlong buwan na relasyon. Pero kay Agatha ko lang naramdaman 'to. Isa pa, hindi na rin ako bumabata. I'm nearing my thirties and I'm actually planning t
Ruins of a Sinner Special Chapter 3: Wrath
AGATHA'S P.O.V. *** Wala akong ibang gustong gawin after a sixteen-hour shift kun'di ang matulog at makapagpahinga. The hospital was busier yesterday and I think I wasn't able to even have a good dinner last night because of the patients I had to attend to. Sana maabutan ko ang asawa ko bago siya pumasok ng trabaho. I know, after I see his face, this fatigue and restless feeling will be a lot better. I heaved a deep sigh when silence greeted me when I entered the house. Oh, it's always like this. Since it was just six in the morning, everyone in the house was still asleep, specially that it's school vacation for my younger siblings. Naalala ko bigla si Ava. I had to ask her if she's really sure about taking STEM strand in SHS. I mean, hindi ko pa rin nakakalimutan 'yung madalas niyang sabihin sa akin noong nasa elementary siya— she said she wanted to be a writer. If that's the case, I don't think STEM was the strand that she should choose. I made a mental note about that. Tahimi
Ruins of a Sinner Special Chapter 2: Regrets
Rodolfo's P.O.V.(Ava's father)•••"Starting from now, I'm no longer your father," tiim ang bagang na saad ko bago nag-iwas ng tingin sa kaniya."Papa..."Galit. Awa. Sakit.Galit ako kay Ava at sa ginawa niya sa kaniyang kapatid. Galit ako kay Nick at sa naging relasyon nila ng ikalawa kong anak.Naaawa ako sa sinapit ng panganay ko at ng apo ko. Hindi ko inakalang kailangan kong masaksihan ang pangyayaring 'yon— napakaraming dugo at wala akong nagawa nang tuluyang mawala ang apo ko.Higit sa lahat, masakit. Masakit para sa akin ang lahat ng ito. Hindi ko alam na hahantong sa ganito ang pamilya ko— na dadating ang nakaka-putanginang pangyayaring 'to sa pamilyang binuo, itinaguyod at pinrotektahan ko.Kahit saan ko tingnan, mas kailangan ako ni Agatha at hindi ko makita sa sarili kong patawarin si Ava sa nagawa niya.She could've stop herself from having an affair with that bastard if she values her sister! Putangina."Huwag mo na ulit akong tatawagin na papa, Ava. Wala ka nang karap
