I heard him chuckled before a soft caress was felt on my arms. Nanatili ako sa posisyon na 'yon habang nagpatuloy si Zach sa pagluluto. My hands settled on his abdomen and I could feel his hard abs against the fabric of the apron he's wearing."Hmnn... I'm not on the menu, Baby."Unti-unti akong bumalik sa mood at nawala na ang isip ko tungkol sa pamilya ko. Sinakyan ko ang sinabi ni Zach. My right hand playfully slid under the apron and touch his skin. He gasped and because of that he's abs contract. "Your hand is so warm against my skin, Ava."Sinimulan kong halikan ang hubad na likuran ni Zach habang ang kamay ko ay bumababa sa gitna ng boxer shorts niya. His body became rigid when my hand touched his length outside his shorts. "So huge as always, Daddy."Ang isa kong kamay ay humahaplos sa malaki niyang braso habang patuloy ang paghalik ko sa likod niya. His breathing became ragged when my hand made its way inside his boxers. Nang mahanap ng kamay ko ang pagkalalaki niya, kusang n
I HAD the best Tuesday morning ever. After spending my weekend and my Monday with Zach, it felt like I was refreshed. Maganda ang naging gising ko at sa totoo lang, hindi na mapigtal ang ngiti ko. I am just so happy that I had that mini-vacation with Zach. That's what I need to relieve myself from stress and doubts about my relationship with Zach. He assured me— good enough to hold on. Tanga. I said that to myself right after Zach left me earlier, in the middle of the dawn, to go back to Joven. He left me again but still I was happy— because we sneaked out. The satisfaction that I had Zach behind Joven's back was greater than the fact that Zach had to come back to her. Right now, it's either my rationale wasn't working anymore or I was simply head-over-heels to Zach that I let him have his way. Oo. May mga tangang babae sa pag-ibig at isa ako ro'n. Zach was like an addiction— cigarette, alcohol or drugs— the more I try to stop it, the more I crave for it. Alam kong mali. Alam
Walang lingon akong umalis ng cafeteria. Mabilis ang bawat hakbang ko habang nakayuko upang walang makakita ng mga luhang kusang tumulo nang makalabas na ako ng cafeteria.I don't know where I am going but I know I have to get away as far as I can. I need a place where no one knows me to see me cry.Totoo talaga 'yung sinasabi nila. Pagkatapos ng saya— matinding sakit at kalungkutan. Wala pa man ang kasal nila Zach, ganito na kaagad ang sakit na nararamdaman ko— paano ko kakayanin na dumalo at saksihan ang mismong kasal?I roughly brushed away the tears from my cheeks as I keep on walking. I was begging my own feet to bring me somewhere no one knows who I am. Somewhere I can cry. Somewhere I can show the real me — a wounded warrior of love.Hindi ko alam kung saan ako patungo hanggang sa bumangga ako sa kung sino. I was about to fall but strong set of hands held my arms to steady my body. I had to immediately cover my face when I heard his voice."Ava?"It was Rupert."A-ano... Nagmam
IT'S VERY hard for me to share my problems and then burden other people about it. Let's just say, I prefer to listen and give advices. I prefer to comfort people from their sorrow; instead of being the weak and emotional one.People around me thought I was always strong. Things in my life were always alright. I was never bothered about anything and my plans were always going according to my biddings.Those were lies. A facade I created to look perfect— to look nice and ideal. Sa ilalim ng magandang maskarang sinusuot ko sa araw-araw ay ang magulong buhay; nakakadiring pagkatao; at basag na emosyonal na estado.Ava Peony Lazarte was hungry for admiration and dominance— that's the real me. I need people to adore me, to see me as an epitome of perfection, to always excel and to be the best among the rest. And yet when I fell in love— I love too hard and deep. Then the next moment I would find myself, submitting and giving my all even if it meant consuming all of me for the person I love.
Year 2018, April(Three years ago...)"Nick!" Nanginginig ang mga binti ko habang nakataas at nakadikit ang mga tuhod ko sa hubad kong dibdib. "Ohhh!"Dama ko ang pawis sa buo kong katawan at ang katas sa gitna ng mga hita ko dahil sa sarap ng ginagawa ni Nick sa akin.Mahigpit ang hawak ni Nick sa mga binti ko para panatilihin ako sa aking posisyon. Nasa ilalim ko siya habang patuloy na dinidilaan ang butas ng pang-upo ko. Dama ko ang pagbalot ng laway niya sa pumipintig na butas ko habang salitan ang dila at daliri niya sa pagpapaluwag sa ikalawa kong butas.Pagod na ako. Pero matapos angkinin ni Nick ang pagkababae ko— hiniling niya ulit na mapasok ang ikalawa kong butas. Masakit nung una niyang ginawa sa akin 'yon pero nung paulit-ulit na, nagustuhan ko na rin. Nagustuhan ko kasi kita ko kung gaano nag-enjoy at mas nabaliw sa akin si Nick. Sabi niya ayaw ni Ate Agatha gawin iyon kaya sobrang humanga raw siya na pumayag ako."Ohh Nick! Hmnn... Ang sarap!""Ava, tangina. Mahal na ma
OPENING up to someone means letting that someone to get closer— to know your soul and all the scars you've been hiding to get by in this life. Sa halos magdadalawang taon na relasyon namin ni Zach, matagal kong hinintay ang araw na sasabihin niya sa akin ang mga dahilan ng mga peklat at mga marka ng paso sa dibdib niya. Hinintay ko ang pagkakataon na hahayaan niyang hawakan ko ang mga markang at pilat na 'yon. Hahayaan niya akong malaman ang mga sakit at pangit na karanasan na magpapakilala sa akin sa tunay na Zachary Wolf Valderama. At hanggang ngayon, hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala na ito na 'yon— ipapakilala na sa akin ni Zach nang buo ang sarili niya. The whole weekdays passed and Friday finally came. I got nothing in my head but my mother's request, Zach's confession and the wedding next week. Halos hindi ako nakatulog sa nakalipas na mga araw dahil sa mga gumugulo sa isip ko. I tried to concentrate in my studies but then the fear and anxiety of the upcoming events bothered me
SA AKIN ka lang, Ava... Sa akin ka lang.Hinihingal na napabalikwas ako ng pagkakabangon dahil sa masamang panaginip— isang bangungot na palagi akong dinadalaw sa bawat gabi.Napasabunot ako sa aking sarili habang hinahabol ang bawat paghinga. Naninigas at nanginginig ang aking katawan. Dama ko ang pagtulo ng pawis mula sa noo ko. Kaagad kong tinakpan ang mukha ko ng aking mga kamay habang sinasabi sa sarili ko, "Panaginip lang 'yon, Ava."Every night— every damn night, I would wake up from a nightmare, crying and scared. These nightmares were mostly flashes of tragic memories with Nick and how he owned my body and selfishly used it like a toy."Panaginip lang 'yon, Ava." I wiped my wet cheeks because of tears before my gaze went to the strong arm wrapped around my waist.Doon ko lang naalala na katabi ko si Zach at dito siya natulog matapos sabihin sa akin ang lahat ng tungkol sa masama niyang karanasan noon. Kahit paano, humupa ang takot ko dahil nandito si Zach.Bumaling ako ng tin
I DON'T have the energy to wake up this Sunday because of everything that happened last Friday. Yesterday, because of that event, I did nothing but to sulk and moped around. I was staring blankly until the day ended. The fear, anxiety and the trauma kept me up the whole Saturday night and up until dawn today. Nakatulog lang ang namamaga kong mga mata mula sa pag-iyak dahil sa pagod. I stared at my ceiling as the alarm of my cellphone keeps ringing. Flashes of what happened last Friday night came back on my mind and my body automatically shivered in fear. Hindi ko inaasahan na gustong gawin din sa akin 'yon ni Zach. Sobrang natakot ako na baka pilitin niya rin ako gaya ng ginawa ni Nick. Natakot ako sa sakit at matinding panliliit na muli kong mararamdaman kung hinayaan ko siya. I would never have anal sex again. Not that disgusting thing again. Kumuyom ang mga kamao ko bago huminga nang malalim. Kinalma ko ang aking sarili nang unti-unting bumabalik sa alaala ko ang mga ginawa sa a