I thought everything would be okay once I ran away from my problems. I thought everything would be okay once I distanced myself from them, but it seems like everything has only gotten worse.It has been a month since I came to this place, and during that month, I forced myself to smile and be happy, but unfortunately, it always ends up in tears. It has been a month since I chose to escape from my problems. It has been a month since I chose to run away instead of facing my problems.A month has passed, but everything is still fresh in my mind. All the pain, shame, grief, and anger I feel. Every little detail of that shameful night is still vivid in my mind, making me burst into painful tears.Everything is still here, and I don't know how to move forward or even how to look forward. I don't know how to live if I am already dead inside. I don't know how to move on because every time I close my eyes, I am reminded of everything I have been through.Since coming to this place, many things
"N-no..." I blinked my tears away, "N-no.. this cannot be!" Those words became whispers because of the pain and grief that I felt."No! It's impossible!" I shouted hysterically while tears poured down my cheeks. "It's impossible!"At that moment, I lost myself. I was like a broken robot repeatedly saying the words "It's impossible," while my eyes kept crying, and my heart kept on sobbing.And at that time, I felt like I died a hundred times. It kills me. It pains me. It's making me die.When I felt someone touch my shoulder, I became more hysterical. I struggled, as if I were crazy, and pushed away the hands that attempted to hold me."Marra, calm down," I heard the doctor say, but I didn't listen; instead, I struggled harder."Marra—" Storm was unable to finish what he wanted to say because I violently pushed away his hand that tried to hold me, causing him to step back."Marra!" he shouted in anger, but instead of being scared, I screamed even louder while crying incessantly."Marra
"I was six or seven that time when I heard my mom and dad arguing about something. And as far as I remember that something is about the woman of dad." She leaned her back on the chair's backrest. Then, she released a bitter smile before looking up.As for me, I remained in my position, sitting on a chair while feeling shocked and surprised with my eyes staring at her. In truth, the word 'shock' cannot fully describe what I'm feeling right now.Like heck, I don't know what to think. I don't know what to say about what she said. My brain couldn't process the new information I received. I don't know how to act and talk. Damn, I'm even worse than a robot at this moment!I looked at her direction when I heard her let out a deep sigh, a bitter emotion showing in her eyes as our gazes met.She smiled bitterly, "And since I was still young at that time, I didn't understand what they were talking about. I had no idea what they were discussing. So I just disregarded it."She let out another sig
"SIT."Instead of answering my question, those were the words he said, making me go "Ha?" and caught me off guard."I said you should sit first before I answer your question. It's not good for pregnant women to stand for too long," he replied to my question while pointing to the chair in front of him.I went "ahh" before nodding. That's all there is to it, I thought it was something else.I headed towards the chair he pointed at. And when I reached it, I wasted no time and sat down."So.. what now?" I asked while tapping the thick and hard wood desk using my fingers, creating a sound.He grimaced as if he was annoyed with something, "Ahmm.. would you stop that?" he asked.I furrowed my brow in confusion, "Stop what?""The tapping on the desk," he answered my question and even mimicked it. Obviously, he was imitating what I was doing.I stopped what I was doing when I realized what he meant. To avoid doing it again, I folded my hands."Sorry," I apologized to him, to which he only nodd
3 years later"Mommy, will Daddy Tito come home now?" I turned around as I heard a small voice behind me.It was my child, with their face buried on the table, trying to act cute while looking at me.I smiled at the sight because who wouldn't smile when greeted with such a cute face?Although I didn't want to wipe the smile off my face, I had no choice but to tell my child the truth, even if it would ruin their mood."I don't know, baby, but it looks like he won't," I replied to their question, making them frown.I nodded in response to their next question, which made them pout.I chuckled as I turned my attention back to the dishes that I was washing. We had just finished lunch, so there were quite a few dishes to wash, but it was okay since I was used to it. This used to be my job when I was still in school, before Lo--nevermind.I squeezed the sponge in my hand before wiping the plate I was holding, making sure there was no dirt left on it. I didn't want my child to get sick if the
Staring blanky. Out of my mind. Like a madman—no, let me rephrase that because I'm really insane. I'm sitting in a corner while staring at the white wall that represents how complicated my life is. It's white and for others, it symbolizes happiness, but for me, it symbolizes death.After the madness I did outside, I found myself in the room that serves as my prison. I'm not literally imprisoned, but because this room witnesses how complicated my life is, it's like a prison for me.After the madness I did outside, thinking he's still alive, even though the truth is he's been dead for a long time, in fact, he was already dead when I gave birth to him in this world. After the scene—my madness, Storm brought me here to this house.And because I'm weak—I'm weak and probably because I'm ashamed of what I did, I agreed to come here.And here I am again, sitting on the same chair that I always sit on. My eyes are lifeless, staring at the four corners of my room.It's been three years since I
They will beg. They will cry. They will ask me to spare their lives and surely river of blood and tears will flow and no one can stop me! No one!""They will shed tears, just as tears were lost. Lives were taken, so lives will be the price and no one can ever stop me! No one!"These words repeated in my mind as I punched the punching bag in front of me. I punched it with such force, to the point where it was almost crumpled. But I didn't care how damaged it was, I wouldn't stop.My anger intensified as I imagined his face on the punching bag in front of me. It fueled me to keep hitting it harder.My anger intensified even more as I imagined her, not just alone, but with the woman he loved so much...the woman he hurt and imprisoned me for.I punched the punching bag once again, and then kicked it in frustration.My sweat was pouring down my body. I had been here for a while now, playing around with this punching bag in front of me. But for some reason, I wasn't feeling any fatigue. I w
NO! He cannot die yet! Because I haven't made him experience the feeling of being alive, but dead inside.It's not possible! He cannot die yet because he hasn't experienced the pain and suffering that I've gone through for years.Fear ran through my heart. Fear that he might die without experiencing what I have. Fear that he might die without going through my suffering.I want him dead, yes. But not this soon. I want to see him suffer, kneel before me, go crazy and beg for mercy. I want to torture him before he dies.And also, I want to be the one to kill him. I want his blood to flow through my hands. I want to be the reason for his death.I looked at the man doing CPR on his body. He was panting heavily as if he had been trying to revive Dashiel for a long time now, but he still couldn't bring him back to life.Yes, Dashiel was the one the ladies were referring to earlier. Dashiel was the owner of the body that was floating in the sea.But heck, what was this guy doing here and why d
"I didn't expect that because of my search for her, I would get into an accident on my motorcycle, causing me to break my leg and be disabled for a few months. Someone sent me a tip that she could be found in that area, so I hurriedly went there without expecting that my haste would lead to an accident.Months passed, and they continued searching for the woman I love. This time, even my dad helped in the search, but unfortunately, there was still no update.I have already started walking again, but up until now, there is still no news about her. I have already buried my dear mother, but still, there is no update about her.I failed the Bar Exam because I did not review properly due to my experiences, and my dad was disappointed in me, but still, there is no news about her.My dad has already passed the company to me, and I have made it prosper, but there is still no update about her. I have won the case about her mother, but there is still no update about her. I have even set her free
I never expected that I would fall for her because of our everyday interactions. At first, I tried to stop myself from falling for her because it was forbidden for us to get involved, if ever.But I couldn't resist. I was carried away by my emotions to the point that I claimed her as mine for life even though she didn't know it yet.But will she be mine too?My feelings for her grew even stronger when I learned about her past and how strong and independent she is. It impressed me so much that I even thought about making her mother's case my first case when I become a lawyer.Our secret relationship, which only I knew about, was going well until... I became careless - we became careless - until Buenaventura came along and acted as if he was my girlfriend.Until someone recorded us having sex. I tried to find the person who was filming us while Marra and I were doing that thing, but unfortunately, I couldn't find him.When I told Buenaventura about it, he advised me to stay away from Ma
The wake, where I always go to whenever I want to escape my bitter and complicated life.When I reached the foot of the hill, I paid Manong using the money I took from the person I killed.During that time, there was no path leading to the top of the hill yet, so I had no other choice but to climb it from the foot to the summit.The feeling of nostalgia that I first felt when I arrived here returned as soon as I reached the top. I closed my eyes and leaned my shoulders on each side to feel the cold breeze coming from the Pacific Ocean.Ghad. I miss this! I miss this feeling!It reminded me of how I found this place. It was raining, and I was crying because for the second time, my mother's friend abandoned me on the side of the road. Since I didn't know where I was, I had no choice but to follow the road in front of me.The second customer left me alone in the woods after using my body. I was left alone, crying and disgusted with myself.Since I didn't know the way back home, I just fo
The woman, whose name was apparently Jane, immediately followed the order of the gay in front of me.After a few seconds, Jane returned with a long black whip. I swallowed hard as I saw it, knowing it would make me cry if it hit my body."Looks like we'll have to use force on you, baby boy," the gay in front of me taunted before nodding to his companions.It seemed to be the signal for the two of them to approach me and grab my hands, causing me to struggle."Strip her," Jane laughed like a demon.The gay in front of me proceeded to rip my t-shirt off, and even though I was struggling, I couldn't fight back as the others were too strong.As my t-shirt was completely torn, the gay in front of me immediately sucked on my nipple, causing me to struggle even more.This passage contains graphic and disturbing content that may be triggering or offensive to some readers. It depicts a scene of sexual assault and is not suitable for all audiences. Reader discretion is advised."No! No! No! Ple
I thought that she was just using me to pay off her debts, but it seems like she's also selling me. Well, what's the difference between the two, right? Because both of them would just lead me to becoming a prostitute."You're such a cautious one, mommy! You should be grateful that your son looks delicious!" the gay guy said while shaking his head, then he took out a white envelope. The others followed suit, taking out envelopes from their bags. Then, they gave the remaining envelopes they had, which I assumed contained money."Here it is, mommy dear," said one of the gays as he gave the envelope to mommy. Mommy was about to accept the envelope, but the gay guy suddenly took it back. "Wait a minute, mommy, is it really okay for the three of us to take on that kid?" the gay guy asked while raising his eyebrows.Mama nodded, 'Yes, of course! How could he not be well-trained by now!' she replied to the gay man's question, taking the money he handed her.When mama passed by, she said to th
Instead of feeling pleasure from what she was doing, I just cried. Disgust for myself filled my heart, but it was not a surprise to me anymore. It's always like this. This is always what I experience. This is always what I feel.Perhaps when she got tired of sucking, she slowly moved her lips towards my groin, causing me to squirm even more. I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't bear the disgust I was feeling.The woman got irritated with my behavior, and punched me in the stomach. "Stop acting like a fool! You act like this is your first time. Hey! For your fucking information, your mom has paid me and her other debts several times, so don't act like you're all clean!" she shouted, causing me to cry and cry.I cried and cried because she was right... she was right about what she said.. I've experienced this several times.. I've experienced being raped and used to pay off my own parents' debts... and I've prayed to God many times to escape from the prison of desire that I never wante
"No... please tita, spare me, please." I pleaded repeatedly to the woman in front of me, hoping that she would release me from her hold.But instead of pity, she just laughed as if she was enjoying my begging."No.. no.. no baby boy, your mother already paid me, so it's only right that I make the most of what she paid for," she grinned at me while slowly taking off her bra.As she finally took it off, her huge breasts came out, which I thought could reach her belly button. It sagged, but what really disgusted me was her extremely dark nipples. It looked like the typical breasts of old women, which is one of the things I fear."No, tita, please." I begged, while wishing to God that she would hear my plea - that the demon-like friend of my mother would be enlightened and stop her abusive actions towards me."No baby boy, no." She tried to sound seductive while saying those words, even biting her lower lip as if hoping to seduce me.But instead of looking attractive in front of me, she l
Instead of answering his question, I shook my head while repeating the words I've said to him over and over again, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Dashiel... If only I knew... If only I knew that this is how it is--"I couldn't continue with what I was about to say when I felt his index finger touch my lips, "Shhh... no need to say sorry, honey, because I've forgiven you a long time ago. And besides, I deserved what happened to me because if it weren't for my negligence, our child would still be here now." He interrupted me, making me quiet.My body immediately reacted to what he said, making me stand up from kneeling and sit beside him. "No, you don't deserve--" I was about to protest that he didn't deserve what happened to him when he put his arms around me, holding me tight.I feel sorry for him because he didn't deserve what happened to him and he is not to blame for the death of our child, but I couldn't continue to feel his lips on mine.Our lips touched briefly, but it was enough to c
When Buenaventura and Thunder came out of the hospital, that's when I stood up from my seat to go inside.If they thought that I stopped insisting on entering Dashiel's room just to see him, well, they were wrong. I would never allow that.It has been a week since I felt embarrassed in the hallway because of that witch. And since that week, she still hasn't woken up.And during that week, I tried several times to go inside Dashiel's room just to catch a glimpse of him or to watch over him for a few seconds.But the past few days have really been unlucky for me. Every time I tried to enter his room, I would always end up embarrassed and going home with drooping shoulders.I have been embarrassed many times because I thought that Buenaventura had left the room, but I always ended up facing her angry face. Because she was mad at me and an attention seeker, she would do anything to get rid of me, including throwing a tantrum and pulling my hair, which made me go home with drooping shoulde