Chapter 12

Upset

“Can I ask something?” pukaw ni Primo sa atensiyon ni Heather.

Heather nodded. “Sure, what is it?” She’s hoping it has nothing to do with Aidan.

“Why is Marcus somewhat covering his face earlier?” Nagdadalawang-isip talaga si Primo na itanong ito pero nagtataka lang talaga siya. “Naka-hoodie siya tapos may suot pa siyang face mask.”

Heather stopped eating and looked up to Primo who’s eyeing her innocently.

“Sorry, maybe I misunderstood his fashion.” Primo laughed to lighten up the mood. Napansin kasi niyang naging tensyonado si Heather sa naging tanong niya.

Heather bit her lower lip when she felt the urge to say something. “It’s not his…fashion. S-Sadyang pinili niya lang ang magsuot ng gano’n.”

Seeing Heather trying hard to explain, Primo smiled softly. “Hindi mo naman kailangan magkuwento kung hindi ka komportable,” aniya.

Umiling si Heather. “No. Marami akong alam tungkol sa ‘yo pero wala kang ibang alam sa ‘kin bukod sa anak ako sa labas at may boyfriend na ako. That’s unfair in my part.” Napalingon si Heather sa kamay niya nang hawakan iyon ni Primo.

“Ganito na lang.” He looked at her in the eyes. Gentleness was visible in its depths. “Saka ka magkwento kapag kaya mo na. I am not forcing you if you’re not comfortable. Ako, kaya ako nagkukwento ay dahil gusto ko. Kaya magkwento ka rin dahil gusto mo and not because you feel pressured to do so.”

“Paano kung…hindi ko kayang magkwento?”

“Well…”

“Hindi sa hindi ko kaya…paano kung bawal kong ikuwento?” Pinakatitigan niya ng maigi si Primo habang iniisip ang posibleng maging sagot nito. Heather was wondering if Primo could still accept her as his friend kahit na may itinatago siya.

“We keep secrets from time to time, Heather. Hindi namn ako magtatampo sa ‘yo kung may itago kang isang maliit na bagay—“

“What if it’s not little?” Humina ang boses niya. “Say…a majority part of my life. Hindi ko pwedeng sabihin ‘yon sa ‘yo. Kakaibiganin mo pa rin ba ako?”

Primo suddenly became confused. Where is this coming from? “Heather—“

“Pagkakatiwalaan mo pa rin ba ako?”

“Wait, wait. Where is this all coming from, huh?” he asked with a puzzled expression. “Kanina ko pa napapansin, you are spacing out. Tapos ngayon, sinasabi mo ang mga ‘yan. Is everything okay?” Primo was worried. Hindi kasi ganoon ang pagkakakilala niya kay Heather nitong mga nakaraang lingo. She’s a calm and tender woman. But now, the Heather he’s seeing is quite different.

She looks pained…broken. Nag-iwas ito ng tingin sa kaniya.

“My life isn’t perfect.” Heather has this faraway look on her face, making Primo listen attentively. “Anak ako sa labas. Pero ang masaklap pa ro’n, bugaw ang nanay ko at pinamigay niya ako kay Dad.”

“Yes, he is my biological father but I don’t really know him at that time. I was nervouse, but I am more excited. Makikilala ko na ang tatay ko eh. But all my excitement died down when Mama said na hindi niya na ako kukunin. Days after, I heard my step mother saying that Mama left the country with a man the do not know. Hindi ko nalaman kung saang bansa pero umalis siya. At hindi niya na ako binalikan.”

“Thinking of my past, mas gusto ko iyong buhay na kasama ang Mama ko. Even though we’re rat poor, masaya ang kabataan ko. May mga kalaro at kaibigan ako kahit papa’no. Ngunit magmula nang mapunta ako kila Daddy, nag-iba ang takbo ng mundo ko.”

“Oo, mayaman sila. Oo, magaganda ang damit ko, masarap ang ulam ko araw-araw, maganda ang eskwelahan, marangya ang pamumuhay. Pero kahit kalian, hindi ko naranasang parte ako ng pamilya. Na parte ako ng buhay at mundo nina Mommy at Ate. Dahil sa paningin nila, sampid lang ako sa pamilya at ako ang dahilan ng kanilang malas.”

“I’ve been carrying that mindset for years. It caused be to do some shitty things. Malas ako at wala akong ibang dala kundi gulo? Eh ‘di totohanin natin. That’s what I was thinking before. Pero iyon din ang naging hudyat kung bakit lalong lumala ang pagkamuhi nila sa ‘kin.”

“Si Daddy lang ang kakampi ko. Siya lang ang mayro’n ako. At alam kong nahihirapan siya sa tuwing kinakilangan niyang pumili sa pagitan ko o ng mag-ina niya. Nasasaktan ako tuwing nasa sitwasyon siyang iyon. Habang tumatagal, lalo kong napapatunayang tama sina Mom. Na panira lang talaga ako sa pamilya nila.”

“I have low grades. I almost failed high school kung hindi lang nakausap ni Daddy ang teachers ko para hayaan akong gumawa ng additional projects pambawi. I am not as smart as my sister. I have failed medical school entrance exam, I did not undergo an evaluation as a flight attendant. In short, pasang-awa na nga ako, sinayang ko pa ang ilang taon ng pag-aaral para sa wala. I did not become a flight attendant. Instead, I become a secretary. Napakalayo sa pinag-aralan ko.”

“Why did you chose this job, anyway? Dapat nga nag-F.A. ka na lang,” kumento ni Primo. Maging siya ay hindi maintindihan ang desisyon ni Heather na maging sekretarya. Mas malaki ang oportunidad kapag naging flight attendant siya.

“Because I realized…ayaw ko palang umalis ng bansa.” Their gaze locked.

Lumamlam ang mga mata ni Heather habang tinititigan si Primo. It’s not because of him though. Heather was thinking of Aidan. That’s why her gaze soften.

While Primo on the other hand was stunned by the way Heather looks at him. Her gaze was causing her heart to beat insanely crazy, making him clutch his chest where his heart is located. Primo was about to ask Heather why she’s looking at him like that when she talked.

“I can’t leave Marcus.” Parang binuhusan siya ng malamig na tubig nang marinig ‘yon. “I love him too much. He may not need me as much as I do but, hindi ko siya maiwanan. Bukod sa Daddy ko, siya na lang ang mayroon ako.”

Primo’s jaw clenched after realizing that Heather was looking at him while thinking of her boyfriend. Ang naghuhuramentado niyang Sistema ay napalitan ng pagkainis.

“Kaya noong sinabi mo sa ‘kin noon na hindi mo siya gusto para sa ‘kin dahil lang sa hindi siya madalas na nasa tabi ko, I object. Kasi kahit ‘di kami madalas magkasama, alam kong ako ang mahal niya. He’s the only man giving me peace and hope. He’s actually the reason why I’m alive. Pinapasaya niya ako.”

Primo’s face become stoic. “Pero sino ba’ng kasama mo ngayon? ‘Di ba ako?”

Heather was taken aback by his sudden cold voice but she still answered. “Oo. Kaya salamat—“

“Kung gano’n, bakit siya ang iniisip mo?” Primo couldn’t help but to cut her off. He’s that offended.

Nagsalubong ang kilay ni Heather. “I’m trying my to open up to you, Primo—“

“But you don’t look at someone lovingly while thinking of another person.” Gumalaw ang panga niya habang kinukuha ang bag at basta na lang umalis sa kinauupuan.

Napakurap-kurap si Heather habang nakaawang ang mga labi. Her eyes were fixed on Primo’s seat. Nagtataka siya sa inasal ng binata.

“What the hell happened?” Heather whispered. “May nasabi ba ‘kong masama?”

Inilapag ni Primo ang telepono sa office table at pabagsak na naupo sa swivel chair. Hinilot niya ang sentido at paulit-ulit na minura ang sarili sa isip.

Why the fvck was I acting like that? That’s was a petty thing to get angry for!

Pilit niyang kinalma ang sarili. He can’t understand himself. Nagkukwento na nga si Heather sa kaniya—which he wanted ever since they got to know each other, pero ngayon, may gana pa siyang magalit.

All of it was because of that Marcus guy. Hindi niya alam pero naiirita talaga siya sa tuwing nababanggit ito ni Heather. Oo, tinatanong niya madalas kay Heather kung ayos lang ba sa boyfriend nito na magkaibigan sila but that was just made out of respect. Pero kapag kwentuhan na ang usapan, iba na ‘yon.

Remembering Heather’s stares earlier, he felt very special. He even felt this unusual but great feeling in his stomach. Para siyang nakikiliti. Pero nawala rin iyon kaagad nang mabanggit ni Heather si Marcus.

Heather was thinking about Marcus while talking to him. At hindi niya maintindihan ang dalaga.

It seems to him that Heather loves Marcus so much. Pero bakit pakiramdam niya, hindi kasing-tindi ng pagmamahal nito ang nararamdaman ng boyfriend niya? He feels like Heather was treated unfairly. The Marcus guy even wore a hoodie and a mask as he visited Heather. Ano ‘yon, nahihiya siya?

Kung nahihiya siya eh ‘di sana, hindi niya na lang ginawang girlfriend si Heather. There are a lot better men out there suitable for her.

That man was bastard…Primo thought. Ang mga lalaking kagaya nito ay hindi dapat minamahal ng sobra-sobra.

Primo felt a light touch of hand from his nape to his right shoulder. At bago pa pumulupot ang mga kamay ng may-ari sa leeg niya na parang yumayakap, mabilis iyong binaklas ni Primo at idinistansiya ang sarili.

“Why are you distant?” Roxanne pouted. “It’s not like Margot is here. At saka, break na kayo. Tatlong taon na.”

“Kahit na,” Primo said coldly. “Get out of my office Roxanne.”

“Bakit ba ayaw mo sa ‘kin…babe?” Roxanne smiled seductively but Primo was not affected. He actually wants to puke or something.

“Do not call me that.”

“Hmm.” She stepped closer and caressed his arms. Primo’s jaw clenched but he did not step away. If he did, mas lalo lang iyong lalapit sa kaniya. Nakakapagod na. “This is not about that newbie secretary, isn’t it?”

Natigilan si Primo sa tanong nito. Napaisip siya.

Bakit nga ba? Bakit hindi niya magawang lumingon sa ibang babe kahit na malinaw sa kaniyang hindi niya na mahal si Margot? He had flings before but now, he is not in the mood anymore. Dahil nga ba kay Heather?

He likes Heather. That’s a fact. Maganda ito at mabait. But couldn’t possibly develop something deep towards her. Isang lingo at mahigit pa lang silang magkakilala. That’s absurd.

“No. it just so happen that I do not like you,” sagot ni Primo saka siya na mismo ang umalis ng opisina para makalayo kay Roxanne. Nagtungo siya ng Financial Department at laking gulat niya nang makitang naroon si Heather na tila may hinihintay.

“Primo!” tawag nito sa kaniya. “Okay ka lang ba? May nasabi ba ako kanina? Sorry na, I didn’t mean to.” Heather looked so sorry even though she has no idea what’s the reason why Primo is upset.

Habang si Primo naman ay nakatitig lang sa nagsusumamong mga mata ni Heather.

Those eyes…he finally realized.

Primo is not mad because he was offended. He was mad because Heather was thinking of another man and not him. He somehow wanted Heather to just think of him. Only him.

This is not good. Damn it!