“Shall we?”
Jim looked up and found Silvia wearing her jacket. Half a dozen of her friends were also gearing up to go out. He didn’t even think of asking anything. He just grabbed his stuff and went back to Jo and his brother, who faced him with a questioning nod.
“Guess it’s good night, bro. I’ll keep you up.”
“Don’t worry, we’re having dinner all together tomorrow,” said Jo with her bright smile.
Sean bit his tongue. His brother had just met his woman again and his girlfriend was having a great time. What he thought didn’t matter at all. So he just nodded with a quick shrug and watched his brother leave all alone with that bunch of strangers.
Jim didn’t have the slightest idea where he was going, but he’d rather chop his tongue off than say a word about it. If that still mattered, he would’ve better stayed home in LA.
All of them where bundled up in t
The bus left them to a light snowfall that promised to get thicker, and Silvia tugged at Jim’s sleeve to make him cross the empty road with her and Claudia. He was about to ask why the hell all the streets on that place seemed to go uphill, but he got distracted, watching the snow swirl down in the subsiding wind. He just took Silvia’s hand and let her guide him, not paying attention to what she and her friend whispered in Spanish.“Are you making him pay, bringing him on the bus and making him walk all the way to the Black Rock?” Claudia asked, amused.“What? No! Look, the wind’s stopped and it’s so beautiful to walk. The park must already be all white.”“Are you hearing yourself? Is that what you’re really thinking about right now?”Silvia grinned and Claudia shook her head, chuckling.They walked her up to Beltane, waved goodnight at her as her dog barked as to wake the whole neig
“Hurry up, you’re late!”“I can’t find one of my sneakers!”“What’re you doing? Jim’s sleeping!”“But I think it’s in your room!”“And what the hell are your sneakers doing in my room? Never mind, just don’t wake him up!”The curtains of the window by the bed were wide open to a dull gray sky and trees sprayed with snow. It didn’t look like the day had just broken, so it couldn’t be that early. However, Jim felt like he’d only slept a couple of hours. He rubbed his face, hearing the muffled voices from the dining room. Silvia’s side of the bed was already cold. She’d been gone for a while.A twenty-year-old boy, taller than him, stuck his head into Silvia’s bedroom. He saw Jim was awake and flashed an apologetic smile.“Hi, Jim, sorry,” the boy said in English. He looked down and grinned, crou
It was hard to remember to keep breathing as she watched him. Jim wasn’t sleeping, just resting, eyes closed, one hand on his chest. And she was doing her best to keep the balance on that tightrope between fascination and dread of this so-real naked man lying by her side, relaxed and helpless out of his own will.Now she knew Jim was right. It was no whim, no challenge, and worst of all, it was no mirage. He’d stated it so crystal clear she was still shaken, and facing it had emptied her inside.There was nothing left. Everything had been ruthlessly wiped away by this understanding that laughed in the face of any other idea, sensation, emotion, hope. Now she could only acknowledge that he loved her, and he’d just left her out of excuses. Goodbye denial. He’d just given her so much that he’d left her with nothing.She had to be at her job in a couple of hours, and she didn’t feel like moving at all. Their phones were still off.
“Hurry up, Jay! I gotta catch a bus in thirty minutes!”“What? Fuck off and call a cab.”“If you don’t get outta the shower, not even the Concorde will get me to work in time.”“Okay, okay!”He finished washing his hair while she was on the phone. A moment later, she walked into the bathroom.“I feel sorry for your brother, y’know?” she said in a casual tone, combing her wet hair.Jim opened the shower curtain only enough to shoot a questioning look at her. Sean could stir many feelings in people, but sorry was certainly not among them.Silvia nodded, smiling. “He must be hating my guts, being dragged along with you guys all the way here.”He dropped the curtain with an ironic smile. “I didn’t drag’im along.”“Maybe. But he wouldn’t let Jo come alone.”“You got it wrong, woma
The silver sedan stopped at the hotel door right when Jo and the Robinsons walked out. Silvia got out and motioned for Sean to take her place on the passenger seat, signaling the other two to get in the backseat with her.Jim swallowed a scoff, seeing the way she avoided eye contact with his brother, and let her stuff him against the window.As soon as they drove back onto the street, Miyen glanced at Sean and nodded to his phone, plugged to the dash. “Pick some,” he said, turning his attention to the traffic again.Sean threw a punch to the backseat, to make Jim stop sinking his knees in his kidneys just to piss him off, and took a moment to look at the music options. Jo and Jim chuckled when he picked Eminem’s When I’m Gone.Miyen rapped along, nodding to the beat as he drove. Until he glanced over his shoulder and said, “Sil.”Jim turned to Silvia in surprise when she sang the chorus.“Yo
It was so hard to believe, she would wake up in the middle of the night just to make sure he was really there with her, day in and day out, night after night. It was utterly different to anything she’d lived by his side, or everything she’d ever dared to dream. She soon noticed that feeling growing inside of her, like bracing herself in anticipation of she didn’t know what, but nothing nice. Like waking up to find him gone or something along that line.At the same time, she couldn’t help feeling none of it had any real meaning. It was like a season out of time. Coming home from work to him; the Sunday showing the Americans around; the family dinners, cooking with Jo while her brother and the Robinsons gamed their butts off. The conversations with Jim, looking always back and never ahead. The having sex all over the Black Rock when her brother wasn’t around. The telling each other I love you a thousand times a day.None of it would last and
“So now you owe me.”Silvia frowned, suspicious.Jim smiled a little wider. “Now it’s your turn to gimme a couple of weeks, and come play my everyday woman in my everyday life. Not isolated in the middle of nowhere, not in the madness of a tour, not surrounded by your friends like frigging bodyguards, but my real everyday life. Don’t you think that’s the logical next step?”He would’ve loved to feel anything like laughing when he saw her gawk first, then gasp and frown again, as she still tried to believe her ears. He kept quiet, holding her gaping eyes with his mild smile, his fingers still toying with her hair.Silvia closed her eyes, breathing as deep as her racing heart allowed her to.He was right, of course.It was obvious that would be the logical next step for him.But everything had devolved into disaster with Pat only when she’d visited him in the US. When she wa
That Friday, the Robinsons found themselves literally shipped away on a fishing tour for the afternoon. Jo wanted to meet with Claudia in Beltane to try some ancient Celtic recipes, and she refused to leave the brothers indoors on such a beautiful day.Silvia waved Jim goodbye, holding back her laughter at the brothers’ faces in the transfer to the harbor, and decided to make good use of that noon.The house Paola and her boyfriend had built at the end of his mother’s backyard was cozy and welcoming, just like the owners. It was only four streets away from Silvia’s office, so they had a while to talk before she went to work. Paola waited for her with mate ready and a thousand questions she wouldn’t ask.After ten minutes of casual conversation, Paola decided it was enough beating around the bush.“He’s leaving on Monday, right?” she said, still in the same casual tone.Silvia didn’t look up f