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Nothing Lasts Forever
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2024-10-29 19:42:56It was so hard to believe, she would wake up in the middle of the night just to make sure he was really there with her, day in and day out, night after night. It was utterly different to anything she’d lived by his side, or everything she’d ever dared to dream. She soon noticed that feeling growing inside of her, like bracing herself in anticipation of she didn’t know what, but nothing nice. Like waking up to find him gone or something along that line.
At the same time, she couldn’t help feeling none of it had any real meaning. It was like a season out of time. Coming home from work to him; the Sunday showing the Americans around; the family dinners, cooking with Jo while her brother and the Robinsons gamed their butts off. The conversations with Jim, looking always back and never ahead. The having sex all over the Black Rock when her brother wasn’t around. The telling each other I love you a thousand times a day.
None of it would last and
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“So now you owe me.”Silvia frowned, suspicious.Jim smiled a little wider. “Now it’s your turn to gimme a couple of weeks, and come play my everyday woman in my everyday life. Not isolated in the middle of nowhere, not in the madness of a tour, not surrounded by your friends like frigging bodyguards, but my real everyday life. Don’t you think that’s the logical next step?”He would’ve loved to feel anything like laughing when he saw her gawk first, then gasp and frown again, as she still tried to believe her ears. He kept quiet, holding her gaping eyes with his mild smile, his fingers still toying with her hair.Silvia closed her eyes, breathing as deep as her racing heart allowed her to.He was right, of course.It was obvious that would be the logical next step for him.But everything had devolved into disaster with Pat only when she’d visited him in the US. When she wa
No Return Behind the Syllogism
That Friday, the Robinsons found themselves literally shipped away on a fishing tour for the afternoon. Jo wanted to meet with Claudia in Beltane to try some ancient Celtic recipes, and she refused to leave the brothers indoors on such a beautiful day.Silvia waved Jim goodbye, holding back her laughter at the brothers’ faces in the transfer to the harbor, and decided to make good use of that noon.The house Paola and her boyfriend had built at the end of his mother’s backyard was cozy and welcoming, just like the owners. It was only four streets away from Silvia’s office, so they had a while to talk before she went to work. Paola waited for her with mate ready and a thousand questions she wouldn’t ask.After ten minutes of casual conversation, Paola decided it was enough beating around the bush.“He’s leaving on Monday, right?” she said, still in the same casual tone.Silvia didn’t look up f
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The boat floated in the broad quiet bay, the lake shores at both sides covered by thick woods that climbed up the steep slopes of the mountains.Jim grabbed two beers from the cooler and strolled back toward the stern, where Sean sat, determined to hold the frigging stick until he caught one frigging trout.The tour guide had noticed right away that his passengers were into fishing as much as he was into rocket science. He’d set their fishing rods, taught them the basics and let them be. He settled them at the stern and stayed near the prow, taking his time to pick the perfect fly for that perfect afternoon.Sean thanked the beer with a grunt, mustering his patience. Jim dropped himself on his camping chair, cap down to his eyes, and sprawled out, clearly intending to take a nap. Sean didn’t recall ever seeing him so easy and contented like he’d been over the last week. And it didn’t fool him for a minute.“She’s coming
No Return The Next Song
A ringtone Deborah hadn’t heard for a while woke her up at dawn on Saturday.“About time,” she grunted, picking up.Her move woke up Sam, that saw her sit up in bed.“Lend me your phone,” she whispered. “I need to write something down.”He did. Deborah didn’t ask a single question. She just wrote down what Jim was dictating from Patagonia and disconnected with a little smile. Sam understood their plans to spend a few days in Los Cabos had just been cancelled.“Some miracle request?” he asked.“Nah, just a few calls. But I’m gonna set the Department of State on fire if that’s what it takes to have that asshole kicking my ass again.”At the other hemisphere, Jim left Silvia’s passport on the bookshelf and went back to her room. Good thing the black beast had apparently decided to remove him from the risky guest category, and was sleeping with Tobias, instead of lying across Silvia’s doorway as it’d been the first nights Jim had
No Return Downfall
It felt just so awful, the way the clock jumped back instead of moving forward as they crossed time zones to the west. And with every repeated hour of that endless night, Silvia felt she was losing all she knew and loved, to walk utterly alone into whatever the next days might have in store for her. She expected to feel that way, just like the irrational fear clutching and twisting her guts. She would’ve liked to be able to do something about her instinctive withdrawing into herself to muster her courage and breathe deep before such a leap.To make it worse, she felt oddly confined in that luxury seat that had her walled up like a baby pen. She could connect with the whole damned world, yet she couldn’t look straight at Jim on the next seat without bringing her feet down from the box under the TV shelf, sitting up and leaning in, past the ugly thing all around her head with more plugs and stuff, and the little counter between the seats.The moment she moved
No Return To-Do List
Deborah was waiting for them at LAX, to make sure with her own eyes the Robinsons were back, and mostly to assess Jim’s mood. She spotted the two couples coming out from the Customs Office and a glance was enough for her to know they were back in business. She allowed herself a heartfelt sigh. No more Jim pissed off every time she told him about a public event she couldn’t cancel. No more pressure from the label to make them play live again now that Sean had been cleared by his doctors. No more demos with nothing but gloomy songs about broken hearts. No more bizarre drunk stunts at parties. Well, at least for the next ten days, which gave Debora ten days to come up with some master plan, in order to extend the good season until further notice.Her merry welcome made the brothers trade a suspicious look, but they didn’t make any question while they followed her to the parking lot and her SUV.Deborah was surprised to see Jim didn’t get in the pas
No Return All the Sunsets
The house was quiet in the warm silence of the sunset when Jim came out of the shower, still savoring such a gratifying homecoming. He felt as good as new after a good meal, quality sex and a nice nap. Silvia had gotten up while he was in the bathroom and he didn’t hear her around. He headed downstairs, guessing where he’d find her.It felt good, being back where he could enjoy the drops still dripping from his hair, down his chest and his back, without fearing to catch a virulent flu.There she was, of course, at the deck, the place that had caught her attention the moment she’d set foot on his house. Not because of the swimming pool or the comfy loungers or the small bar counter under the hay roof, but because of the view.She was wearing a black top and a light sarong, bare feet on the floorboards, arms resting on the railing, face to the sun setting on the sea, a cigarette between her fingers, her loose hair floating softly in the ocean bre
No Return The Face of the Sun
Jim’s phone rang at nine, thirty minutes before the alarm he’d set. Silvia slept against his back, and he was trying to turn around without waking her up when her hand showed up under his arm with his phone.“Thanks,” he muttered, and picked up already grumbling, “Fuck off, Deb. I know I gotta pick you up at eleven.”“Just checking. Steve’s gonna be ready to take off at noon and—”“Bye.”“Photoshoot today?” mumbled Silvia when he disconnected and threw the phone on the nightstand.Jim pulled from her hand to round his waist again. “Yeah. And it’s gonna take all day, if I know Steve. Wanna come?”“I’d love to.”“I think I might need a little insisting to take you along.” He pushed her hand down, and jerked when it slid around his hips to grab his butt.Silvia giggled against his back. “Sorry.
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Silvia woke up to Depeche Mode’s Personal Jesus.The sun was setting and she was alone in bed, tucked in soft sheets that smelled of lemon and the fat white comforter. Jim had left a few hours ago to let her rest, because after those weeks apart, it was plain to see she wouldn’t get any rest with him around.She’d fallen sound asleep, exhausted, and now she had the persistent feeling of being still lost in a dream. But she wasn’t. This was not the Black Rock. It was the Ashtray, her new home, and that music had to be a phone ringing.But not hers. She’d never used that song as a ringtone.She followed the music to the other nightstand, where she found a new phone still inside its open box with a red ribbon. And she laughed out loud when she grabbed it and saw the caller was My Personal J.“Hey, you awake?” Jim asked when she picked up, still chuckling.“Hey, you just woke me u
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They staggered into the bedroom and fell on the bed as they kissed, their hands struggling to get rid of their clothes.Silvia pulled Jim to bring him on top of her, yearning to feel his weight. There was no other body to hers, no other hands to touch her, no other lips to drive her crazy, no other skin to stroke hers. She wrapped a leg around his waist, pushing him down, and moaned when she felt him inside of her, his fire sweeping it all away, and she gave in to his need and his exasperated anxiety.Because that was exactly how he was feeling. He’d never missed her body, he’d never needed her like this. Yet there he was, fighting himself back to keep from going off like a frigging teen, growing crazier with every moan he pushed out of her mouth, every move of her hips, every touch of her fingers, every brush of her lips. Like he would never have enough of her.Why was he feeling this way? Why nothing seemed enough? When had all bodies lost their ap
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Silvia exited the Customs Office feeling stunned and a little dizzy. After such an emotional last week in Bariloche, she’d had to go through the long flight that had taken her to another time zone, another season, another country, another culture, another language. She looked around, feeling she was running on fumes and she was about to pass out any moment now.Jim threw the sign she hadn’t seen into a bin to come stand before her, hands in his pockets and a smile under his black cap.“Looking for somebody?”Silvia just dropped everything to fall into his arms. He held her tight, kissing her hair, and felt her shiver nonstop. She needed a whole minute to fight back her tears and get a little grip on herself. When he assessed she would be able to walk, he took her hand, grabbed the luggage cart with his other hand, and took both to the parking lot without a word.Silvia just let him lead the way. She was there, with him, finally. Sh
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Silvia left before her friends and siblings even registered what she was doing. One minute they were all toasting to her for the hundredth time in the bar, and the next minute she was hugging every one of them, telling them how much she loved them. And then she was gone, all alone.She walked down the street, gazing up at the sky, admiring the colors in those minutes before the early sunrise. Her feet didn’t need to consult with her brain to head straight to the downtown beach, walk down the stone steps and take her right up to the lake shore.She sat down on the cold pebbles and lit a cigarette, face to the east. It was her last sunrise of the only life she’d ever known. The last sunrise with her lake and her mountains. Like so many times before, she wished she could capture every little detail as far as her eyes could see, carve it all in her memory and keep it inside of her, true and unchanged, forever unfading.She watched the sun come up behind
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Tobias and Leandro had done their best to clean up the Black Rock before Silvia came back home. And the outcome made her smile, because the house was squeaky-clean and smelling of flowers. They were surprised to see Mika there too, but Silvia’s look kept them from asking any questions.Knowing the siblings needed time alone for their reunion, Leandro left for Beltane, to have dinner with Claudia. At the Black Rock, Mika went to the supermarket, to restock the fridge with something that wasn’t trash food and make dinner for the three of them.The moment she walked out, Tobias asked Silvia what had happened to their sister to make her lower that proud head of hers, admit her fail and come back home. It was just natural he would take mortal offense when he learned why Mika was actually back. But Silvia would have none of it.“I’m telling you the same I told your sister,” she said. “You don’t want me to keep treating you guy
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No Return The Thing
Silvia almost missed her flight, too absorbed staring at the tiny thing on the table before her.What on God’s green earth was that thing doing there, and in her keep?That white-gold band with a little, discreet diamond.An engagement ring.That frigging coward! Throwing it at her from ten feet away!But no matter the delivery method, Jim had given it to her.His mother’s, he’d said.Bring it back, he’d said.She felt lucky her brain was able to register the last boarding call. She looked up, startled, and jumped to her feet. She was about to hurry away when she remembered the ring. Actually, it was more like feeling a leash tugging at her neck, stopping her from walking away from the table.She spun around on her heels and scowled down at the damned thing.“You…” she growled.The moment she had it in her hand again, she realized how small and light it wa
No Return Catch
It was sort of weird. Being with Jim usually involved having people around, but now they were all alone, making their way through the usual crowd in LAX. Come to think about it, both of them loved having an active social life. Maybe that was why she hadn’t needed any major adjusting over the last ten days in LA.…?Silvia would’ve punched herself best Fight Club style. She had only minutes left with him and she was pondering about their social habits? Really?She checked in for her flight and they headed to the boarding area in no hurry.“So you think you can be back by January ten.”“Yup. I gotta report to work with Jo on the fifteenth, but I want a couple of free days before that.”They walked a whole minute in silence.Silvia wondered why all of a sudden they didn’t seem to have anything left to say. Why were they avoiding eye contact? Why did she feel like getting into the boarding
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“Hurry up or I’m calling a cab!”“Bet you’re dying to do it, you chicken.”“Please, Jay!”Silvia finished raiding the master bedroom one last time, to make sure she wasn’t forgetting anything.“Jay!”“Coming.”She snorted and went to canvass the ground floor. She was just done when Jim came down the stairs in no hurry.“Can we go before I have a heart attack, milord?”“Cool down, woman, we have plenty of time,” he said, grabbing her duffel bag on his way to the front door, where she waited with her rucksack. He paused at the doorway to poke her nose. “Really, such a rush to leave me.”Silvia wasn’t about to explain she was always that upset whenever she had a bus or a plane to catch, so she just scowled at him and followed him out.“Got everything? Tickets, passport?”Silvia ch
