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33 | Only another bottle of beer.
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2024-10-29 19:42:56My God, things escalate too quickly when it comes to my family.
Aunt Sasha and Aunt Wendy are fighting over who should get with Zac Efron, as if they actually could, and it looks like they might start pulling each other's hair out at any moment.
Grandpa Carl and Grandpa Sean are completely drunk, which is unusual, and they’re dancing the samba together.
My mom and Julie, James's mom, are holding a broom horizontally so Grandma Maria and Grandma Verah can limbo under it.
Connor seems to be the only sober one—though with my mom, even without alcohol, she’s completely out of her mind—and he’s playing with Carly and Aisha.
Skyler and Jace have disappeared, though I have a pretty good idea of what they’re up to.
Aunt Mary is in charge of the music tonight, wearing a hat with the visor turned backward that says, "I'm the best and fuck the rest."
What a rebellious aunt.
Uncle Mark and Aunt Annie are
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Never go to a tattoo artist if bad luck is following you 34 | It will be a disaster regardless.
Before the Party...Dad is at work and suspects nothing; Mom and I have already wished him well and given him fake gifts, because we’ll give him the real ones at the party.Mom has already started making the cake, and later Julie will come to help her decorate it since she decided to make a two-tiered cake given the number of people who will be at the party.I’ve already stocked up on alcohol with my cousin, who helped me and then went home to sleep, saying that this way he’ll be ready for dancing.We have crates of beer, wine to stay a little tipsy at first and not get drunk right away, bottles of vodka, and rum.Then for sure the grandparents will bring more wine and beer, so we’re all set.I walk into the kitchen, where I slip on some flour and fall to the ground.My mom peeks over the table and, seeing me on the floor covered in flour while I massage my butt, bursts out laughing."My
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At home, Skyler and Connor have also arrived, along with Paul and Aisha. Only my family is missing. We’re all in the kitchen chatting when Paul turns to me. “Do your relatives have problems with doors too?”Everyone laughs while I bang my head against the kitchen table. “Are you going to remind me of this for life?”No one has time to respond because the doorbell rings.I lift my head from the table and give a creepy smile, then I get up and go to open the door.“Jace!” I scream, while at the same time my cousin screams my name.I also greet Uncle Mark and Aunt Annie and bring them into the kitchen.My cousin walks over to my mom, holding up the pack of beer in his hand. “Aunt! I brought more alcohol!”Connor looks at us perplexed. “Isn’t there too much?”My cousin and I exchange glances before turning to Connor. “No alcohol, no party!” we shout
Never go to a tattoo artist if bad luck is following you 36 | What will you do?
"I swear I will never touch another drop of alcohol again. I swear I will never touch another drop of alcohol again. I swear I will never touch another drop of alcohol again," I continue to mumble while lying on my back on the bed, staring at the ceiling.Yesterday, when I fell asleep, James, Sky, and Connor were here with me, but this morning I woke up alone.I hear my cousin and my best friend's voices coming from downstairs, but I doubt the other three are still here.James left before I woke up. Was he so remorseful that he didn’t even want to talk about it?The thought gives me a tight feeling in my stomach. I don’t want to lose him. But this time, I’m not regretting the kiss. I mean, I’m not saying I’m head over heels in love and dreaming of spending my life with James, but I simply believe that if two people kiss multiple times, even if they were both under the influence of alcohol, there has to be at least some attrac
Never go to a tattoo artist if bad luck is following you 37 | Where could I take her for the first date?
JAMESI feel my heart beating faster than usual, my hands trembling, and anxiety rising.This morning, while I was going through the worst hangover of my life and felt like I had been hit by a car, my brother Connor came to wake me up and told me to get a move on, because apparently our parents had forgotten that we had an appointment.So, once I was awake, I had to reluctantly move Brianna's head off my chest; apparently, we had fallen asleep hugging each other.And now I’m terrified that she might think I left of my own accord because of our kiss or, rather, our kisses, and that she thinks I regret it.And right now, I'm feeling so many emotions, but regret isn't one of them.In fact, when I think back to what happened last night, a spontaneous smile spreads across my face.And it’s exactly while having these thoughts that, like a bolt from the blue, one single, burning truth flashes through my
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I'm about to have a heart attack.My breathing is quick, my hands are shaking, I feel a trickle of sweat running down my forehead, and I'm sure my face is pale.Paler than usual, that is.James asked me out on a real date, and when I read the message, my heart was pounding so hard it felt like it was going to burst out of my chest. The date is at his house—thank goodness at least one of us knows how to cook—and I have no idea how it’s going to go.But that's not why I'm anxious. When I got James's message, I was in the kitchen with my parents, and when they saw me smiling at the screen, they asked me what was going on.But now my only question is: why did I tell my mom that the date would be at his house?Now, after calling Julie and discussing our "relationship," she's convinced we’re going to end up rolling around in the sheets since we’ll have the house to ourselves all weekend.But we haven't even rea
Never go to a tattoo artist if bad luck is following you 39 | The next time, I will read you like a roast.
JAMESI feel a foot come down on my backside rather unceremoniously.I groan in pain and try to move away, but as I turn, I fall off the bed.I snap my eyes open and sit up, massaging my cheek.I look at Brianna lying diagonally, taking up the entire bed.The passion for sumo hasn't faded.I hate waking up with her nearby because she always pushes me out of bed.Literally.I decide to take revenge.I go to Connor's room and grab one of those stadium horns, then I return to my room.I bring it close to Brianna's face and blow.She screams in fright, and I, not expecting that reaction, scream in fright too, and Mrs. Porter, my neighbor, screams in fright as well.Once we've all calmed down, Brianna looks at me in shock. "Let me get this straight, how many times did you fall off your high chair when you were little?"I give her a dirty look. "Only twice, unlike you."She n
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Never go to a tattoo artist if bad luck is following you Special - Happy birthday
“Happy Birthday, Love!”“Happy birthday, love!” James yells in my ear.I mumble irritably, turning over in bed and burying my face in the pillow.“Do you remember what day it is today?”I blindly move my left hand until I find his face. “Shh. Go back to sleep.” I then press my hand against his forehead to make him lie down.He stands up and comes to my side of the bed. “You need to get up.”I take the blankets and pull them up over my head. “I need to sleep.”James huffs. “You need to move your ass and get up.”I poke my head out from under the blankets and turn onto my left side to see him better. “I’m sorry for you, but I never learned how to twerk. I’m not as good as my grandmothers.”James stares at me without blinking.I stare back at him, waiting for a reaction.I shouldn’t have done that.
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Five years later...I’m lying diagonally on the bed with my head resting on James's stomach, which keeps making strange noises. "James, honey, just so you know, if you're hungry, you can go down to the kitchen."My boyfriend makes a face. "But your parents are downstairs. It embarrasses me to go down and act like it’s my house."I prop myself up on my elbows and raise my torso to look James in the face. "Are you serious? We’ve been together for over seven years. Seven! You practically have residency here. You even have a group chat with my parents where you exchange embarrassing photos of me, and you still have the nerve to be embarrassed."James puts a hand on my face and pushes me back down onto his stomach. "These are trivial details, Brianna."In response, I lick his hand to make him remove it. "Do you want me to walk you downstairs while holding your hand too?" I tease.James grimaces. "No, be
Never go to a tattoo artist if bad luck is following you Special - Happy birthday
“Happy Birthday, Love!”“Happy birthday, love!” James yells in my ear.I mumble irritably, turning over in bed and burying my face in the pillow.“Do you remember what day it is today?”I blindly move my left hand until I find his face. “Shh. Go back to sleep.” I then press my hand against his forehead to make him lie down.He stands up and comes to my side of the bed. “You need to get up.”I take the blankets and pull them up over my head. “I need to sleep.”James huffs. “You need to move your ass and get up.”I poke my head out from under the blankets and turn onto my left side to see him better. “I’m sorry for you, but I never learned how to twerk. I’m not as good as my grandmothers.”James stares at me without blinking.I stare back at him, waiting for a reaction.I shouldn’t have done that.
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JAMESI feel a foot come down on my backside rather unceremoniously.I groan in pain and try to move away, but as I turn, I fall off the bed.I snap my eyes open and sit up, massaging my cheek.I look at Brianna lying diagonally, taking up the entire bed.The passion for sumo hasn't faded.I hate waking up with her nearby because she always pushes me out of bed.Literally.I decide to take revenge.I go to Connor's room and grab one of those stadium horns, then I return to my room.I bring it close to Brianna's face and blow.She screams in fright, and I, not expecting that reaction, scream in fright too, and Mrs. Porter, my neighbor, screams in fright as well.Once we've all calmed down, Brianna looks at me in shock. "Let me get this straight, how many times did you fall off your high chair when you were little?"I give her a dirty look. "Only twice, unlike you."She n
Never go to a tattoo artist if bad luck is following you 38 | Do you want to be my magnet for bad luck?
I'm about to have a heart attack.My breathing is quick, my hands are shaking, I feel a trickle of sweat running down my forehead, and I'm sure my face is pale.Paler than usual, that is.James asked me out on a real date, and when I read the message, my heart was pounding so hard it felt like it was going to burst out of my chest. The date is at his house—thank goodness at least one of us knows how to cook—and I have no idea how it’s going to go.But that's not why I'm anxious. When I got James's message, I was in the kitchen with my parents, and when they saw me smiling at the screen, they asked me what was going on.But now my only question is: why did I tell my mom that the date would be at his house?Now, after calling Julie and discussing our "relationship," she's convinced we’re going to end up rolling around in the sheets since we’ll have the house to ourselves all weekend.But we haven't even rea
Never go to a tattoo artist if bad luck is following you 37 | Where could I take her for the first date?
JAMESI feel my heart beating faster than usual, my hands trembling, and anxiety rising.This morning, while I was going through the worst hangover of my life and felt like I had been hit by a car, my brother Connor came to wake me up and told me to get a move on, because apparently our parents had forgotten that we had an appointment.So, once I was awake, I had to reluctantly move Brianna's head off my chest; apparently, we had fallen asleep hugging each other.And now I’m terrified that she might think I left of my own accord because of our kiss or, rather, our kisses, and that she thinks I regret it.And right now, I'm feeling so many emotions, but regret isn't one of them.In fact, when I think back to what happened last night, a spontaneous smile spreads across my face.And it’s exactly while having these thoughts that, like a bolt from the blue, one single, burning truth flashes through my
Never go to a tattoo artist if bad luck is following you 36 | What will you do?
"I swear I will never touch another drop of alcohol again. I swear I will never touch another drop of alcohol again. I swear I will never touch another drop of alcohol again," I continue to mumble while lying on my back on the bed, staring at the ceiling.Yesterday, when I fell asleep, James, Sky, and Connor were here with me, but this morning I woke up alone.I hear my cousin and my best friend's voices coming from downstairs, but I doubt the other three are still here.James left before I woke up. Was he so remorseful that he didn’t even want to talk about it?The thought gives me a tight feeling in my stomach. I don’t want to lose him. But this time, I’m not regretting the kiss. I mean, I’m not saying I’m head over heels in love and dreaming of spending my life with James, but I simply believe that if two people kiss multiple times, even if they were both under the influence of alcohol, there has to be at least some attrac
Never go to a tattoo artist if bad luck is following you 35 | Eeeeeeeee, macarena!
At home, Skyler and Connor have also arrived, along with Paul and Aisha. Only my family is missing. We’re all in the kitchen chatting when Paul turns to me. “Do your relatives have problems with doors too?”Everyone laughs while I bang my head against the kitchen table. “Are you going to remind me of this for life?”No one has time to respond because the doorbell rings.I lift my head from the table and give a creepy smile, then I get up and go to open the door.“Jace!” I scream, while at the same time my cousin screams my name.I also greet Uncle Mark and Aunt Annie and bring them into the kitchen.My cousin walks over to my mom, holding up the pack of beer in his hand. “Aunt! I brought more alcohol!”Connor looks at us perplexed. “Isn’t there too much?”My cousin and I exchange glances before turning to Connor. “No alcohol, no party!” we shout
Never go to a tattoo artist if bad luck is following you 34 | It will be a disaster regardless.
Before the Party...Dad is at work and suspects nothing; Mom and I have already wished him well and given him fake gifts, because we’ll give him the real ones at the party.Mom has already started making the cake, and later Julie will come to help her decorate it since she decided to make a two-tiered cake given the number of people who will be at the party.I’ve already stocked up on alcohol with my cousin, who helped me and then went home to sleep, saying that this way he’ll be ready for dancing.We have crates of beer, wine to stay a little tipsy at first and not get drunk right away, bottles of vodka, and rum.Then for sure the grandparents will bring more wine and beer, so we’re all set.I walk into the kitchen, where I slip on some flour and fall to the ground.My mom peeks over the table and, seeing me on the floor covered in flour while I massage my butt, bursts out laughing."My
