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38 | Do you want to be my magnet for bad luck?
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2024-10-22 16:00:28I'm about to have a heart attack.
My breathing is quick, my hands are shaking, I feel a trickle of sweat running down my forehead, and I'm sure my face is pale.
Paler than usual, that is.
James asked me out on a real date, and when I read the message, my heart was pounding so hard it felt like it was going to burst out of my chest. The date is at his house—thank goodness at least one of us knows how to cook—and I have no idea how it’s going to go.
But that's not why I'm anxious. When I got James's message, I was in the kitchen with my parents, and when they saw me smiling at the screen, they asked me what was going on.
But now my only question is: why did I tell my mom that the date would be at his house?
Now, after calling Julie and discussing our "relationship," she's convinced we’re going to end up rolling around in the sheets since we’ll have the house to ourselves all weekend.
But we haven't even rea
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Last Updated : 2024-10-24Never go to a tattoo artist if bad luck is following you Special - Happy birthday
“Happy Birthday, Love!”“Happy birthday, love!” James yells in my ear.I mumble irritably, turning over in bed and burying my face in the pillow.“Do you remember what day it is today?”I blindly move my left hand until I find his face. “Shh. Go back to sleep.” I then press my hand against his forehead to make him lie down.He stands up and comes to my side of the bed. “You need to get up.”I take the blankets and pull them up over my head. “I need to sleep.”James huffs. “You need to move your ass and get up.”I poke my head out from under the blankets and turn onto my left side to see him better. “I’m sorry for you, but I never learned how to twerk. I’m not as good as my grandmothers.”James stares at me without blinking.I stare back at him, waiting for a reaction.I shouldn’t have done that.
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Five years later...I’m lying diagonally on the bed with my head resting on James's stomach, which keeps making strange noises. "James, honey, just so you know, if you're hungry, you can go down to the kitchen."My boyfriend makes a face. "But your parents are downstairs. It embarrasses me to go down and act like it’s my house."I prop myself up on my elbows and raise my torso to look James in the face. "Are you serious? We’ve been together for over seven years. Seven! You practically have residency here. You even have a group chat with my parents where you exchange embarrassing photos of me, and you still have the nerve to be embarrassed."James puts a hand on my face and pushes me back down onto his stomach. "These are trivial details, Brianna."In response, I lick his hand to make him remove it. "Do you want me to walk you downstairs while holding your hand too?" I tease.James grimaces. "No, be
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December 3rdI wake up with James’s arm around my waist and his breath warm on my neck. Facing the windows, I immediately notice the snow falling outside. I smile, feeling the festive joy bubble inside me. Carefully, I move his arm off my waist and slip out from under the covers, instantly shivering. Trying not to make a sound, I grab one of his hoodies for warmth and quietly leave the room, shutting the door behind me. I yawn as I head downstairs to the kitchen, silently praying I don’t trip on the stairs—not this morning, at least.I prepare the pancake batter, and as I start cooking, I set the kettle and the coffee machine going. My plan is to serve breakfast in bed for James, though considering my clumsiness, I decide to take it up in small batches. When everything’s ready, I place a tray on James’s bedside table, followed by the plates of pancakes, and finally, the mugs of hot drinks. Once all is safely in pl
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Never go to a tattoo artist if bad luck is following you Special - Happy birthday
“Happy Birthday, Love!”“Happy birthday, love!” James yells in my ear.I mumble irritably, turning over in bed and burying my face in the pillow.“Do you remember what day it is today?”I blindly move my left hand until I find his face. “Shh. Go back to sleep.” I then press my hand against his forehead to make him lie down.He stands up and comes to my side of the bed. “You need to get up.”I take the blankets and pull them up over my head. “I need to sleep.”James huffs. “You need to move your ass and get up.”I poke my head out from under the blankets and turn onto my left side to see him better. “I’m sorry for you, but I never learned how to twerk. I’m not as good as my grandmothers.”James stares at me without blinking.I stare back at him, waiting for a reaction.I shouldn’t have done that.
Never go to a tattoo artist if bad luck is following you 40 | Never go to the tattoo artist if bad luck is following you.
A year and a half later.I watch little Jeremy staring at me curiously while he has his fist in his mouth, drooling like a Saint Bernard. He’s lying on the changing table, waiting for me to put a clean diaper on him.How was it done again? The YouTube videos make it seem so easy...“Well, little one, what if I took you to church naked? You’re so small; kids get forgiven for everything.”“Do you really want to let him go around naked?” James leans against the doorframe, arms crossed, eyebrow raised. “You don’t remember how to put on a diaper, do you?”I give him a dirty look. “Don’t stare at me like that. It’s difficult, okay?”“He’s been home for months, and you still haven’t learned?”I throw a clean diaper at him. “Why don’t you do it?”James catches the diaper in midair and approac
Never go to a tattoo artist if bad luck is following you 39 | The next time, I will read you like a roast.
JAMESI feel a foot come down on my backside rather unceremoniously.I groan in pain and try to move away, but as I turn, I fall off the bed.I snap my eyes open and sit up, massaging my cheek.I look at Brianna lying diagonally, taking up the entire bed.The passion for sumo hasn't faded.I hate waking up with her nearby because she always pushes me out of bed.Literally.I decide to take revenge.I go to Connor's room and grab one of those stadium horns, then I return to my room.I bring it close to Brianna's face and blow.She screams in fright, and I, not expecting that reaction, scream in fright too, and Mrs. Porter, my neighbor, screams in fright as well.Once we've all calmed down, Brianna looks at me in shock. "Let me get this straight, how many times did you fall off your high chair when you were little?"I give her a dirty look. "Only twice, unlike you."She n
Never go to a tattoo artist if bad luck is following you 38 | Do you want to be my magnet for bad luck?
I'm about to have a heart attack.My breathing is quick, my hands are shaking, I feel a trickle of sweat running down my forehead, and I'm sure my face is pale.Paler than usual, that is.James asked me out on a real date, and when I read the message, my heart was pounding so hard it felt like it was going to burst out of my chest. The date is at his house—thank goodness at least one of us knows how to cook—and I have no idea how it’s going to go.But that's not why I'm anxious. When I got James's message, I was in the kitchen with my parents, and when they saw me smiling at the screen, they asked me what was going on.But now my only question is: why did I tell my mom that the date would be at his house?Now, after calling Julie and discussing our "relationship," she's convinced we’re going to end up rolling around in the sheets since we’ll have the house to ourselves all weekend.But we haven't even rea
