I hadn't planned to annoy Leanna again, I'd actually thought we could try and get back to being friends. I hate to admit it, but being on my own with her made it glaringly obvious how much I enjoy being with her and how much I've miss her the last few years. She's so funny, easy to talk to and she has no idea how amazing she is, she's too busy comparing herself to her sister and feeling like she comes up short.
I saw her this morning, watching Kim dick around and I swear the desire to be doing the same was just rolling off her, I'm surprised her friends didn't notice.
I wanted to go over there, drag her out over and chuck her onto that wall, tell her her parents aren't going to be upset if she makes a few mistakes. I don't know why I didn't, but I'm fairly sure after hearing the rumours going around school, she would be more likely to smack me in the face than enjoy herself with me.
At lunchtime I'm just minding my own business and what happens? Max fucking Carlisle is all over her, when he stands up and announces than Leanna and I are nothing to one another, I near enough lose the plot. I can't stop myself heading straight over, but then she opens her mouth and tells him he's her hero and it's like a knife straight to the chest.
That's what she wants? For us to be nothing to one another? After everything?
I'm about to turn around and leave when Max looks at me, and I swear the guy intentionally drops his hand to her back the moment he sees me coming over and there's a grin on his face that I'm desperate to wipe off of him. I'm not a fighter though, so maybe I need to find a way to befriend Jake and then get him to do it for me.
"So, I was just telling the girls about my party, you in?" Max asks, but all I can focus on is his hand on her back. She's always so quick to move away from guys usually, so why isn't she moving away from him?
"Is she coming?" I snap, gesturing at Leanna and hoping she'll be riled up enough to come back at me, but all she does is give me the middle finger, she doesn't even bother to speak to me, so I try to push her further. "Make sure it's big enough for me to avoid her and pull someone hot. I don't want anymore rumours."
"Of course." Max laughs, his fingers moving under the back of her shirt. This time she does meet my eyes and she actually looks guilty, so she knows how I feel about her.
Hang on, what? Felt, felt about her! I don't feel anything for her. I won't, not when she obviously feels nothing for me
Max is still talking to me, but it's like my focus is on nothing except his fingertips brushing against her skin.
I want to tell him to leave her alone, to keep his hands off her, but then I realise I can't, it's not my place, we're not even friends any more, let alone anything else.
It's then that I spot her bottle of drink, the lid off and just at the edge of the table and it gives me an idea. Swinging my bag onto my back as I turn to go, I make sure to knock it straight into her lap. She'll hate me for doing it, but it'll separate them for long enough for me to stop seeing it.
It works, she's out of her seat in seconds shouting at me, but, despite her fury, I catch her eyeing me up, even if she pretends it was all an act, I catch the moment of panic in her eyes when she realises what she's doing.
"I wouldn't sit down, dude." Callum laughs and points to my ass. "She got you back good."
"What the hell?" I grab my trousers and feel the moisture, bringing my hand up and seeing brown sticky chocolate all over it.,
She's already leaving the room when I look up, so I shout her name loud enough for her to hear, so she knows that I'm going to get her back for this.
Callum's still giggling to himself, so I grab my bag and tell him I'm going to go get changed.
"Hi Nathan." Georgie is waiting for me by the door and even though I lengthen my stride to get away from her, she manages to keep up.
"Y'alright Georgie, I need to get changed before next lesson." I say, stopping by the toilets and gesturing to the door.
"Yes, I just wanted to see if you were going to Max's party this weekend?" She stands there, pulling at her fingers nervously and looking up at me from under her eyelashes.
It occurs to me that she would be quite pretty if the crazy didn't show on her face, or maybe I'm just seeing that because I know?
"I'm not sure, maybe." Her eyes flicker over my face like she's thinking about something, but I'm not sure what, and then she's smiling up at me again.
"Well maybe I'll see you there then." She giggles and bats her eyelids at me and I feel like I need to remind her that I'm not interested, so I clear my throat and try to think of the right words so I don't set her off.
"Uh… Georgie, remember I said I was interested in someone else?" I say tentatively and when I look up she's nodding slowly. "And that I suggested you find someone who is interested in you?"
"You did yes." She continues nodding and I'm not sure if she understands what I mean, so I push the door to the toilets open.
"Ok great, so I'm going to go. Bye." I walk through, letting the door swing shut behind me and hope she's not still out there when I've finished.
*
The rest of the week is relatively normal, Leanna ignores me or glares at me if I speak to her, like she has pretty much every day for the last few years. Georgie pops up regularly, but she doesn't speak, just hovers near to wherever I am, staring and making us all feel uncomfortable.
"She's going to Max's you know, we could skip it and just go out in town." Adam says, eyeing Georgie who's behind a tree, watching us warm up and stretch on the football field.
"No way, he throws the best parties, we can't miss it just because Nathan's got himself a stalker." Callum nudges me with his elbow. "She'll find him wherever he is anyway, she's probably tracking his phone or something."
"Or sleeping under his bed each night." Adam adds laughing. "I read about this guy who lived in this girl's attic during the day and slept under her bed at night, he was there for weeks within anyone knowing a thing. I could definitely see her doing shit like that."
We all look over towards Georgie who's drawing in a sketch book, whilst not even trying to hide the fact she's staring at me.
"Twenty quid says that books full of drawings of Nathan." Callum says, strapping his shin pads on and pulling his socks up over them.
"Actually, I saw the drawings she did of Chris Parkhouse, she sent them to his house and she's really good, a few of them looked like photos." Adam says, turning to pass the football to me.
"I need to speak to Chris, find out how he got rid of her." I say, looking around the pitch and seeing his curly blonde hair bouncing on the opposite side.
"Guys, come on, we're going to do five aside on these two pitches. Max, Oliver, Adam and Leo, you can all be team captains." Mr Gearing, our coach, calls and we all congregate close together.
I'm standing with Callum, my focus on Adam so I don't hear Max calling my name until Mr Gearing tells me to get over to my team.
"What's he playing at?" Callum mutters, looking at Max who's waving me over, I shrug and jog over to stand behind Max.
"I wanted a quick chat." He whispers as Oliver calls amhis best friend Nick over to his team. "It's about Leanna, I like her and I'm going to ask her out at my party tonight. We're not going to have a problem, are we? I mean, it's not like you guys are together, from what I gather, you can't stand each other, but no one ever asks her out because of you. Why is that?"
I was not expecting that and it throws me. I'm not sure what to say but I'm saved from having to respond by Max having to pick again and he steps away from me, as though the subject's already closed.
"Don't worry, he's been hanging around her all week and she's completely oblivious to his interest in her." Callum says in the car on the way to Adam's house after school.
"I'm not worried." I mutter and he rolls his eyes.
"Sure, ok. So why'd you mention it?" He asks, turning into Adam's driveway.
"Just telling you what he said." I get out, grab the cans of lager we bought on the way over and head towards where Adam's getting out of his own car. "Where do you want the drinks?"
"Basement, dad's just bought a table tennis table, I reckon we can make it into some sort of drinking game?" Adam says, opening his front door and we follow him through and downstairs, getting changed while Adam figures out the rules to his new table tennis drinking game.
Max asks my friends and I to help set up the party, so we drive over straight after school to join the small group helping to set up drinks areas, hiding valuables and breakables, moving furniture and building a bonfire in the garden, because apparently that's the new must thing for high school parties."Hey." He pulls us each into a big hug, leaving an arm around both Mille and me as he guides us into the kitchen. "So, this is the bar area, I need you two to make sure the cups and drinks are all spread out, that ok? Kev and Sam are bringing the crates in from the car.""Sure." He winks at us and then takes Italia and Corrine into the next room as we get to work."Would you judge me if I slept with him tonight?" Millie asks, grouping drinks by type on the counter. "Well, try anyway."
Max's house is a short walk from Adam's, so we get there about 9pm and the party's already in full swing. The living room is filled with a mass of bodies rubbing all over each other as they dance and I can hear a group chanting "chug, chug, chug," in the kitchen while a guy is drinking from an oversized glass tankard. "Kev says there's a bonfire in the garden." Callum says, so, grabbing some beers, we wander through the rooms towards the backdoor. Somehow, despite the horde of people outside, the first thing I see is Leanna sitting and laughing with Max's brother Jack. A pang of jealousy spikes through me and recently I'm finding it harder to suppress whatever residual feelings are lingering from when we were younger. "What're you going to do to her?" Adam sniggers, following my line of vision and
I wake up feeling like a zombie, my head aches, my stomach is threatening to revolt with every movement and my body feels like it belongs to someone else. I've got vague memories of the night before but it's so hazy I'm not sure what's real and what was a dream. "How're you feeling?" Kim puts a cup of tea on the table and although I know she didn't slam it down, the sound ricochets around my brain. "Like death." I croak. "What happened?" "Jake reckons you were spiked, Millie said you were fine before you left her and it was less than half an hour between that and Nathan finding you in Max's bed." "What? Max?" I try to sort through the memories in my head and a fuzzy one where Max and I are kissing in his room seems to hover at the forefront. "Oh god, I didn't, did I?
Leanna looks white as a sheet when she comes out of the room with the tarot woman and I'm worried about what's going on, but then Ms Jewkes is calling my name and gesturing for me to follow her.I have no idea why I'm here, I don't believe in this stuff and the weird stick thing she's burning is making me anxious, it's like I can't breathe properly which is the opposite of what should happen or so I'm told.She gestures to a seat and asks me to sit down, then puts an oversized pack of cards in front of me and tells me to shuffle until I feel ready to split them into three. I do as she asks, because I don't want to be rude, but the whole time I'm wondering what amount of shuffle time is appropriate, in the end I go for slightly longer than I feel I should, just so I don't look like I'm not taking this seriously."Ok
It's the last week before half term, then we'll be going off skiing all together and for the first time in years, Nathan and I are friends again.I'm beyond excited!I hop in my car, singing along to the radio as I drive the short distance to school. My friends are waiting near the school gates and Max is hovering nearby."Do you need us to stay?" Italia hisses to me when he starts walking over."Leanna, can we talk?" He sounds nervous and I try to remind myself that he didn't do it on purpose, he didn't know, it's not his fault. He's a good guy."I'll catch up with you guys in a second." I tell my friends and Max waits until they're far enough away not to overhear before he starts s
I hate that I've resorted to this, but I saw Leanna and Max together on Monday and it damn near killed me, so I need to distance myself from her, at least for a little while.Winding her up is just too easy, her eyes get all intense and she struggles to control herself.I watch her storm off, knowing she's fighting the urge to turn around and at least send me a rude hand gesture, but I want that. Somehow I need that reaction from her, so I clear my throat loudly, seeing her back tense as she anticipates what I'm going to say."Oh and Lea, I know you'll have already packed, but I just wanted to check you were bringing that sexy purple nighty I like so much, you know the one I mean. The one you wore last year for me, the one that's pretty much see-through." She stops dead in her tracks, I can't help the gr
After stopping for a drink in the coffee shop nearest the school, I can't put it off any longer and head home, hoping that Nathan won't already be there. I won't lie, I'm so disappointed, but it is what it is, I got over it before, I can do it again.As luck would have it, the only person home is Kim, who's ransacking the house for her favourite t-shirt after leaving packing to the last minute. As usual."Have you got it in yours?" She asks, pulling out sofa cushions and stuffing them back, ignoring the chocolate and crisp wrappers that Shane and his friends have obviously stuffed down the back of it. "It's my black one with the big red drippy heart on one side.""No, but wasn't Susie wearing it instead of her school uniform last week?""Shit, yes, thank you." In s
I can't even be in the same room as Leanna without wondering who she's been with, it's causing an inordinate amount of anger to build inside me.Everyone at school knows she's off limits, I made sure of that. It wasn't Max, so who went behind my back?"What crawled up your butt?" Gemma strolls into my room and sits on the bed, picking up the school books I brought and smirking at me. "Do your friends know Mr Cool and Popular is planning on studying while he's on holiday? That would seriously ruin your rep, wouldn't it?""What do you want?" I snap at her and she just rolls her eyes."What's going on with you and Leanna? You've been glaring at h
The pains start around 3am. I was in a lovely deep sleep when I was woken to cramps starting low in my back, reminiscent of the terrible food poisoning incident in Venice nine months ago that seems to be the cause of this particular incident. My own lack of education meant I didn't think twice about jumping on Nathan the second I felt better, not realising my contraceptive pill wouldn't be effective during a nearly week long episode of sickness and diarrhoea. We found out about a month after the wedding, two days after moving into our first home together. We'd both taken jobs instead of going to university. Nathan with an accountancy firm and myself at a legal firm, both of us signing contracts which meant they would train us and we would study from home, so while we could only afford to rent a house at the momen
The last few months at school were relatively relaxed, as much as they can be when you're taking exams that affect your future, but in comparison to what we'd been through the previous month's, I'd happily take the exams over and over again.Corrine was right when she said the police could do nothing about what she did, there was nothing illegal done, immoral definitely, but nothing they could charge her with. For the first week she strutted around, casting smug looks at us whenever she saw us and somehow managing to befriend Sally Matthews, so she had people to hang out with.That rapidly changed when Kim and her friends told everyone what she did, the gossip was rampant and although the other kids didn't approve of what she did to Leanna and I, it was the belief that she caused Max to go off the rails that really got her ostracised socially.
I'm not pregnant! It seems I never was. I've taken ten different tests. One from each brand in the shop, just to be sure. There wasn't even a hint of a positive on any of them. I've got mixed feelings. My sister, Jake, Shane and Luke all cheered with each negative result and I'm obviously relieved. There's no way I'm ready to have a baby, but I don't understand why Corrine would do this to me. She's meant to be my friend, Nathan's noticeably quiet, but he gives me a quick smile every time he realises I'm looking at him. I can't work out what he's thinking. After breakfast with the parents, we suggested rather strongly, that they go out for the day together, promising to clean up while they're out and it didn't take long before my dad was dragging my mum out to the car.
While Leanna is sorting things out with her friends, I'm catching up on homework. It feels too normal. With everything that's gone on recently, sitting here trying to figure out maths problems is quite nice. I never ever thought I would say something like that! After that, I lie back on my bed and watch a film, waiting for Leanna to let me know they've gone so I can go over and see her. This is the longest we've been apart since Max took her nearly a month ago and I can feel myself getting twitchy with the urge to check on her. Telling myself it's all fine, I wander downstairs to make a drink and a sandwich. I'm not really hungry, but at least it'll keep me occupied and I take it upstairs to eat while I finish the film. A knock on the door has me jumping out of bed and running downstairs, Corrine's standing there
I feel ridiculous with how nervous I am waiting for Corrine to come over. I haven't spoken to her for three days and she's ignored all my messages. Finally she sent a brief text this morning to say she'd come over this afternoon. Millie and Italia are already here talking about some show they both watched last night. Pretty sure they're trying to distract me, but I feel like my entire focus is downstairs, waiting for her to arrive. There's got to be a reasonable explanation for why she tried to make out like she and Nathan had a thing, right? Millie has reassured me repeatedly that it was the briefest of kisses and that Nathan was not involved at all, I think she thinks that I'm doubting him, which I guess I should a bit. I think I should be upset that Corrine kissed him too but I'm more concerned why one of my oldest and closest friends is behaving so oddly.
The news came early last week that Max has been transferred to a psychiatric unit for assessment, apparently he's still under the illusion that he and Leanna have something and I'm the one standing in the way of that. They're not sure who's most at risk from him; Leanna, me or himself.Leanna feels guilty, like she somehow did something to encourage him or send him over the edge. She keeps asking if I think she was too flirtatious with him, regretting the times she was a bit overzealous in her appreciation of something he did. I keep telling her she's like it with everyone, that she tells everyone she loves them, she told my sister that on our last holiday because my sister hid her a piece of the chocolate cake from being devoured by Luke and Shane.It's just her way, it always has been. I'm fairly sure her friends are the same. Italia and Corrine both to
It's been two weeks since Max took me to that cottage. Two weeks of people tiptoeing around me, treating me like I'm made of glass and trying not to upset me.My parents are being super protective and I understand that, they want to know where I am all the time and I'm having to text them every hour just to reassure them I'm ok, even Kim's finding reasons to be around me all the time and Nathan hasn't touched me more than a cuddle since I got back. I know he wants to, but whenever we even get close to starting something, he backs off, asking me if I'm ok and apologising for pushing me too far, too soon.It doesn't matter how often I tell everyone I'm fine, they think I'm just trying to put a brave face on, but I really am fine. I agreed to see a counsellor that the police recommended, but it all feels like a lot of fuss over nothing.
My parents are furious with me, Leanna's parents were furious with me, I'm pretty sure if I hadn't brought Leanna home after nearly three full days of not knowing where the hell she was, I'd have been being grounded, lectured and they'd be thinking up new punishments for me for weeks. All because I went off to rescue Leanna without taking them or even telling them where we were going, not directly anyway and I hadn't stopped long enough to actually tell Millie where we were heading so they could even follow us. They had to wait at home, helplessly, praying that we would all be ok.My only other saving grace is that I at least called the police and let them know where we were heading and what we anticipated on arrival. Jake saw the trouble I was in, so thankfully didn't mention it was him that called them, it hadn't even crossed my mind, I was too focused on getting to Leanna.
Max's arm is around me, tracing circles on my shoulder, his other hand gripping mine tightly and holding it in his lap. I can feel his erection through his trousers and I'm fairly sure he's holding my hand over it on purpose, almost as if to let me know how much he wants me tonight.My heart's hammering wildly in my chest and I have no idea what time it is, or how long the film's been going on for, but it feels like it should be finishing soon and I'm yet to come up with a plan to avoid having sex with him.About halfway through, he nudged my head so it was resting on his shoulder, so I pretended to fall asleep and I'm resting all my hope on the idea that he won't try to wake me tonight. But that plan is flimsy at best."Baby, wake up, the film's finished." He rubs his thumb over my cheek affectionately and I force