Some absolute moron slashed my tyres during the party so I have to ride into school with Kim and, even though I'm dreading actually getting to school after Olivia thought it would be funny to post that photo of Nathan and I and make out like something happened, being with Kim puts me in a surprisingly good mood.
As much as I complain about having to be the extra responsible one now that she's off following her own path, seeing how happy she is makes it worth it and I'm starting to wish I was more like her. Spontaneous, carefree and full of the absolute joy of life.
We pull up outside Liv's house and instead of honking or knocking on the door or even ringing to let her know we're outside, she drops the window, turns the volume up on the radio which is blaring Olivia by One Direction from her phone and sings along at the top of her voice, nudging me to get me to join in.
I stare in awe as a few of the neighbours appear at their doors, coffee cups in hand and amused smiles in place when Olivia dances her way to the car, both of them singing loudly and waving to the laughing neighbours, once my sister pulls away.
They repeat the whole process at Ellie's and I find myself singing along quietly to Ellie my love by Ray Charles, and by the time they're singing Susie Q by Creedence in Susie's driveway, I'm singing along and laughing just as loudly as the others.
The singing continues the rest of the way to school and I'm almost disappointed when Kim pulls into the car park nearby and the music comes to an abrupt end.
"Why is everyone saying you and Nathan Graham slept together?" Corrine asks as soon as I part ways with my sister and meet my friends at the benches. Her voice suggests not only does she not believe the stupid rumours that are already circulating, but, like the good friend she is, she's outraged on my behalf.
"Urgh… Olivia thought it would be funny. They all know full well nothing went on. Kim made them take it down, but the damage has apparently already been done."
"That doesn't explain why he was in your room though? Or why you're riding to school with Kim and the moron brigade. Where's your car?" Corrine asks and I glance across to where my sister's friends are all laughing, her tongue poking out between her lips as she concentrates on trying to make a jump between walls that any normal person would realise is too far, while Jake, her terrifying boyfriend and self appointed bodyguard is tense and readying himself to catch her when she inevitably falls on her ass.
A pang of envy goes through me when she launches herself fearlessly and lands on her stomach in his outstretched arms, giggling and pressing a kiss to his lips. She really doesn't care what people think, I can't even imagine what that would be like and I start to think about what would happen if I acted more like Kim.
"Uh oh… looks like scary Georgie wants a word." Corrine's voice brings me back to reality. She's pointing towards Georgie, who's marching purposefully our way, her eyes locked on me.
"Oh shit." I mutter then force a smile onto my face. "Georgie, hi, are you ok?"
"Cut the crap Leanna, you lied to me last night." She glares at me and automatically I feel guilty.
"I'm really sorry…"
"I don't wanna hear it, but you need to stay away from Nathan, do you understand?"
"Look, nothing happened, it was my sister's stupid friends, making up stupid shit because they think they're funny. I'm definitely not interested in him and he's not interested in me either, we fell asleep watching N*****x, that's it." She shakes her head at me as though I've misunderstood something that's glaringly obvious but only to her it seems since my friends look equally clueless when I glance their way.
"You have no idea do you?" I frown at her and she gives me a look that tells me she couldn't care less about my opinions. "Just stay away from him, will you?"
"Gladly." I say and she nods, spinning on her heel and walking away. Seemingly unaware of the nervous glances thrown her way from everyone she passes.
"I reckon she's the one who slashed your tyres." Millie says once she's out of earshot and I don't even try to argue with her, because that's what I'm thinking right now too.
*
I've lost count of the number of people who come over and tell me how pleased they are that Nathan and I finally got together. It's ridiculous and for every person I correct, two more appear in their place.
By lunchtime I've had enough, so when Max Carlisle drops into the seat next to me in the cafeteria and asks if I'm really dating Nathan, I drop my head onto my arms and just groan.
"I don't care anymore, people are going to believe what they want regardless." I mumble against the table.
"What she means is, no, she's not, it was a rumour made up by Olivia Hughes." Millie clarifies for me and keeping my head down, I raise my thumb up in agreement.
"Are you ok?" He says softly, rubbing circles on my back, which is pleasant but a bit forward since I've barely spoken to him before. "Is there anything I can do?"
"Kill Olivia?" I say hopefully and he chuckles. His movements stop, but his hand remains settled on my lower back, the heat from his palm warming through my uniform. "No, it's fine, the rumours will die down eventually. Thank you though."
"Hang on." He gets up onto his chair and clears his throat until the whole room is silent. "Ok, everyone's seen the post about Leanna and Nathan, yeah? Well, it's a fake, nothing is or was going on. It was some nasty, spiteful, jealous little girl's idea of a joke and I don't want to hear anything about it again. Understand?"
A chorus of boos and disappointed groans echo around the room but soon everyone carries on with their own chatter, no longer interested in my love life or lack thereof.
"You're my hero." I grin up at him and he winks.
"Any time." He brushes his hand through his sandy blonde hair and gives me a nervous half smile, slipping back into the seat beside me, he clears his throat. "So, uh… My brother is home this weekend and I'm having a party. I wondered if maybe, you want to come?"
"Sure." I look at my friends and they're already nodding.
As lovely as Max is, his brother Jack is even better, an absolutely beautiful man, inside and out.
After successfully boxing away all my feelings for Nathan, Jack appeared in my life but, to my utter despair, he's always treated me like the kid sister he doesn't have but he's been away at university for the last two years, so maybe it's time I took a leaf out of my sister's book, step outside my comfort zone and let him know I like him.
"Hey Max, thanks for that mate." Nathan claps him on the back and the room noticeably quiets, as though everyone's watching our interaction.
"No problem. Being this good looking always attracts some crazies, right?" They both laugh and while they flex their muscles, showing off to one another and the girls in the room, I automatically find myself searching the sea of faces until I find her.
Georgie is staring at us from across the room and a shudder rushes up my spine at the murderous look in her eye, directed at me.
"So, I was just telling the girls about my party, you in?" Max drops his arm down the back of my chair and presses his palm against my back, his knee pressing against mine when he twists in his seat to speak to Nathan.
"Is she coming?" Nathan doesn't even try to hide the irritation in his voice and he jabs his thumb in my direction. I raise my middle finger at him and he does the exact same gesture back to me. "Make sure it's big enough for me to avoid her and pull someone hot. I don't want anymore rumours."
"Of course." Max laughs, his fingers toy with the hem of my shirt.
My stomach lurches when Nathan's eyes lock with mine and he clenches his jaw like he hates me more than ever. I feel so stupid, after the relatively friendly night we had in my bedroom, the childish part of me had hoped we could go back to how we used to be, realising how much I'd missed having him as my friend. But by the look on his face, he clearly doesn't feel the same, so I tear my eyes away from him and focus on Max, who is still talking about the party. "As well as Jack, my cousin Lucy is coming with a bunch from her school, it should be massive."
Max's fingertips brush against bare skin under my shirt and I yelp and try to squirm away from the cold of his touch. Nathan's eyes immediately drop to where Max's hand is and for some unknown reason I feel guilty, like I've been caught doing something wrong, when I haven't. Meeting my gaze, he opens his mouth to say something, then obviously changes his mind and moves to go away.
Just as I'm trying to inch myself subtly away from Max, Nathan turns around too quickly and too close to our table, his bag knocks my drink over, it spills everywhere and tumbles into my lap.
He did that on purpose!
"Fuck's sake, Nathan." I shout, leaping up so the rest slips onto the floor, an orange puddle beneath my chair.
"Oh Leanna seriously? The bathroom is just over there, come on." He grins at me as a few people behind us burst out laughing.
He's only made it a few steps away from our table when the urge to retaliate becomes overwhelming.
Scooping up as much of my chocolate mousse in my hand as I can, I call his name, smacking his bum with the mixture and quickly hiding my hand as I bend to gaze at his bum, putting an appreciative look on my face.
"I meant to say the other day, your ass looks really good. Those early morning runs are finally giving it some shape." He smirks at me and tenses his bum, and I make a show of sure roaming my eyes all over him, biting my lip as though I can't fight my attraction to him.
Admittedly he is a beautiful specimen of a man, every summer from around the age of sixteen, he's dragged his weights out into his back garden to work out and I have to resist the urge to ogle him when the sun glistens on his sweaty, muscular chest.
Not that I'd ever admit that to anyone!
He clears his throat and I realise instead of fake checking him out, I've actually been doing it and quickly I replace the look with a scowl.
"Shame your personality still sucks." I add and he gives a short laugh, raising his voice so the whole cafeteria can hear him.
"Baby, there's a queue a mile long and after the favour you did for me at the weekend, I was considering letting you jump it. Jump me to be precise." He grips my chin in his hand and rubs his thumb along my bottom lip, before I react he drops his hand. "If only you could learn to shut your pretty mouth."
He turns away, striding back to his table where his friends who are already laughing at the brown mess on his trousers, I grab my sports kit, torn between waiting to see his reaction when they tell him and getting out of my wet things.
"I'm going to get changed before English, I'll meet you there." I say to my friends, strolling out of the doors just as I hear an angry voice hollering my name and I chuckle to myself all the way to the toilets.
Thank goodness for Max, life is back to normal!
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I hadn't planned to annoy Leanna again, I'd actually thought we could try and get back to being friends. I hate to admit it, but being on my own with her made it glaringly obvious how much I enjoy being with her and how much I've miss her the last few years. She's so funny, easy to talk to and she has no idea how amazing she is, she's too busy comparing herself to her sister and feeling like she comes up short.I saw her this morning, watching Kim dick around and I swear the desire to be doing the same was just rolling off her, I'm surprised her friends didn't notice.I wanted to go over there, drag her out over and chuck her onto that wall, tell her her parents aren't going to be upset if she makes a few mistakes. I don't know why I didn't, but I'm fairly sure after hearing the rumours going around school, she would be more likely to smack me in the face than
Max asks my friends and I to help set up the party, so we drive over straight after school to join the small group helping to set up drinks areas, hiding valuables and breakables, moving furniture and building a bonfire in the garden, because apparently that's the new must thing for high school parties."Hey." He pulls us each into a big hug, leaving an arm around both Mille and me as he guides us into the kitchen. "So, this is the bar area, I need you two to make sure the cups and drinks are all spread out, that ok? Kev and Sam are bringing the crates in from the car.""Sure." He winks at us and then takes Italia and Corrine into the next room as we get to work."Would you judge me if I slept with him tonight?" Millie asks, grouping drinks by type on the counter. "Well, try anyway."
Max's house is a short walk from Adam's, so we get there about 9pm and the party's already in full swing. The living room is filled with a mass of bodies rubbing all over each other as they dance and I can hear a group chanting "chug, chug, chug," in the kitchen while a guy is drinking from an oversized glass tankard. "Kev says there's a bonfire in the garden." Callum says, so, grabbing some beers, we wander through the rooms towards the backdoor. Somehow, despite the horde of people outside, the first thing I see is Leanna sitting and laughing with Max's brother Jack. A pang of jealousy spikes through me and recently I'm finding it harder to suppress whatever residual feelings are lingering from when we were younger. "What're you going to do to her?" Adam sniggers, following my line of vision and
I wake up feeling like a zombie, my head aches, my stomach is threatening to revolt with every movement and my body feels like it belongs to someone else. I've got vague memories of the night before but it's so hazy I'm not sure what's real and what was a dream. "How're you feeling?" Kim puts a cup of tea on the table and although I know she didn't slam it down, the sound ricochets around my brain. "Like death." I croak. "What happened?" "Jake reckons you were spiked, Millie said you were fine before you left her and it was less than half an hour between that and Nathan finding you in Max's bed." "What? Max?" I try to sort through the memories in my head and a fuzzy one where Max and I are kissing in his room seems to hover at the forefront. "Oh god, I didn't, did I?
Leanna looks white as a sheet when she comes out of the room with the tarot woman and I'm worried about what's going on, but then Ms Jewkes is calling my name and gesturing for me to follow her.I have no idea why I'm here, I don't believe in this stuff and the weird stick thing she's burning is making me anxious, it's like I can't breathe properly which is the opposite of what should happen or so I'm told.She gestures to a seat and asks me to sit down, then puts an oversized pack of cards in front of me and tells me to shuffle until I feel ready to split them into three. I do as she asks, because I don't want to be rude, but the whole time I'm wondering what amount of shuffle time is appropriate, in the end I go for slightly longer than I feel I should, just so I don't look like I'm not taking this seriously."Ok
It's the last week before half term, then we'll be going off skiing all together and for the first time in years, Nathan and I are friends again.I'm beyond excited!I hop in my car, singing along to the radio as I drive the short distance to school. My friends are waiting near the school gates and Max is hovering nearby."Do you need us to stay?" Italia hisses to me when he starts walking over."Leanna, can we talk?" He sounds nervous and I try to remind myself that he didn't do it on purpose, he didn't know, it's not his fault. He's a good guy."I'll catch up with you guys in a second." I tell my friends and Max waits until they're far enough away not to overhear before he starts s
I hate that I've resorted to this, but I saw Leanna and Max together on Monday and it damn near killed me, so I need to distance myself from her, at least for a little while.Winding her up is just too easy, her eyes get all intense and she struggles to control herself.I watch her storm off, knowing she's fighting the urge to turn around and at least send me a rude hand gesture, but I want that. Somehow I need that reaction from her, so I clear my throat loudly, seeing her back tense as she anticipates what I'm going to say."Oh and Lea, I know you'll have already packed, but I just wanted to check you were bringing that sexy purple nighty I like so much, you know the one I mean. The one you wore last year for me, the one that's pretty much see-through." She stops dead in her tracks, I can't help the gr
After stopping for a drink in the coffee shop nearest the school, I can't put it off any longer and head home, hoping that Nathan won't already be there. I won't lie, I'm so disappointed, but it is what it is, I got over it before, I can do it again.As luck would have it, the only person home is Kim, who's ransacking the house for her favourite t-shirt after leaving packing to the last minute. As usual."Have you got it in yours?" She asks, pulling out sofa cushions and stuffing them back, ignoring the chocolate and crisp wrappers that Shane and his friends have obviously stuffed down the back of it. "It's my black one with the big red drippy heart on one side.""No, but wasn't Susie wearing it instead of her school uniform last week?""Shit, yes, thank you." In s
The pains start around 3am. I was in a lovely deep sleep when I was woken to cramps starting low in my back, reminiscent of the terrible food poisoning incident in Venice nine months ago that seems to be the cause of this particular incident. My own lack of education meant I didn't think twice about jumping on Nathan the second I felt better, not realising my contraceptive pill wouldn't be effective during a nearly week long episode of sickness and diarrhoea. We found out about a month after the wedding, two days after moving into our first home together. We'd both taken jobs instead of going to university. Nathan with an accountancy firm and myself at a legal firm, both of us signing contracts which meant they would train us and we would study from home, so while we could only afford to rent a house at the momen
The last few months at school were relatively relaxed, as much as they can be when you're taking exams that affect your future, but in comparison to what we'd been through the previous month's, I'd happily take the exams over and over again.Corrine was right when she said the police could do nothing about what she did, there was nothing illegal done, immoral definitely, but nothing they could charge her with. For the first week she strutted around, casting smug looks at us whenever she saw us and somehow managing to befriend Sally Matthews, so she had people to hang out with.That rapidly changed when Kim and her friends told everyone what she did, the gossip was rampant and although the other kids didn't approve of what she did to Leanna and I, it was the belief that she caused Max to go off the rails that really got her ostracised socially.
I'm not pregnant! It seems I never was. I've taken ten different tests. One from each brand in the shop, just to be sure. There wasn't even a hint of a positive on any of them. I've got mixed feelings. My sister, Jake, Shane and Luke all cheered with each negative result and I'm obviously relieved. There's no way I'm ready to have a baby, but I don't understand why Corrine would do this to me. She's meant to be my friend, Nathan's noticeably quiet, but he gives me a quick smile every time he realises I'm looking at him. I can't work out what he's thinking. After breakfast with the parents, we suggested rather strongly, that they go out for the day together, promising to clean up while they're out and it didn't take long before my dad was dragging my mum out to the car.
While Leanna is sorting things out with her friends, I'm catching up on homework. It feels too normal. With everything that's gone on recently, sitting here trying to figure out maths problems is quite nice. I never ever thought I would say something like that! After that, I lie back on my bed and watch a film, waiting for Leanna to let me know they've gone so I can go over and see her. This is the longest we've been apart since Max took her nearly a month ago and I can feel myself getting twitchy with the urge to check on her. Telling myself it's all fine, I wander downstairs to make a drink and a sandwich. I'm not really hungry, but at least it'll keep me occupied and I take it upstairs to eat while I finish the film. A knock on the door has me jumping out of bed and running downstairs, Corrine's standing there
I feel ridiculous with how nervous I am waiting for Corrine to come over. I haven't spoken to her for three days and she's ignored all my messages. Finally she sent a brief text this morning to say she'd come over this afternoon. Millie and Italia are already here talking about some show they both watched last night. Pretty sure they're trying to distract me, but I feel like my entire focus is downstairs, waiting for her to arrive. There's got to be a reasonable explanation for why she tried to make out like she and Nathan had a thing, right? Millie has reassured me repeatedly that it was the briefest of kisses and that Nathan was not involved at all, I think she thinks that I'm doubting him, which I guess I should a bit. I think I should be upset that Corrine kissed him too but I'm more concerned why one of my oldest and closest friends is behaving so oddly.
The news came early last week that Max has been transferred to a psychiatric unit for assessment, apparently he's still under the illusion that he and Leanna have something and I'm the one standing in the way of that. They're not sure who's most at risk from him; Leanna, me or himself.Leanna feels guilty, like she somehow did something to encourage him or send him over the edge. She keeps asking if I think she was too flirtatious with him, regretting the times she was a bit overzealous in her appreciation of something he did. I keep telling her she's like it with everyone, that she tells everyone she loves them, she told my sister that on our last holiday because my sister hid her a piece of the chocolate cake from being devoured by Luke and Shane.It's just her way, it always has been. I'm fairly sure her friends are the same. Italia and Corrine both to
It's been two weeks since Max took me to that cottage. Two weeks of people tiptoeing around me, treating me like I'm made of glass and trying not to upset me.My parents are being super protective and I understand that, they want to know where I am all the time and I'm having to text them every hour just to reassure them I'm ok, even Kim's finding reasons to be around me all the time and Nathan hasn't touched me more than a cuddle since I got back. I know he wants to, but whenever we even get close to starting something, he backs off, asking me if I'm ok and apologising for pushing me too far, too soon.It doesn't matter how often I tell everyone I'm fine, they think I'm just trying to put a brave face on, but I really am fine. I agreed to see a counsellor that the police recommended, but it all feels like a lot of fuss over nothing.
My parents are furious with me, Leanna's parents were furious with me, I'm pretty sure if I hadn't brought Leanna home after nearly three full days of not knowing where the hell she was, I'd have been being grounded, lectured and they'd be thinking up new punishments for me for weeks. All because I went off to rescue Leanna without taking them or even telling them where we were going, not directly anyway and I hadn't stopped long enough to actually tell Millie where we were heading so they could even follow us. They had to wait at home, helplessly, praying that we would all be ok.My only other saving grace is that I at least called the police and let them know where we were heading and what we anticipated on arrival. Jake saw the trouble I was in, so thankfully didn't mention it was him that called them, it hadn't even crossed my mind, I was too focused on getting to Leanna.
Max's arm is around me, tracing circles on my shoulder, his other hand gripping mine tightly and holding it in his lap. I can feel his erection through his trousers and I'm fairly sure he's holding my hand over it on purpose, almost as if to let me know how much he wants me tonight.My heart's hammering wildly in my chest and I have no idea what time it is, or how long the film's been going on for, but it feels like it should be finishing soon and I'm yet to come up with a plan to avoid having sex with him.About halfway through, he nudged my head so it was resting on his shoulder, so I pretended to fall asleep and I'm resting all my hope on the idea that he won't try to wake me tonight. But that plan is flimsy at best."Baby, wake up, the film's finished." He rubs his thumb over my cheek affectionately and I force